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Let's Have a Party ... Let's Tell a Story! (Group activity)

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  • #81
    "Did I hear a gunshot?" Just what is afoot here?" my kindly neighbor asked with a perplexed look on his face as he patted Sam on the head. Sam wagged his tail in recognition. Dr. Phil went on, "You know I had a 'chat' with Sam down by the gate earlier and he told me, in not so many words, that there was trouble afloat. Didn't know what he meant until now. I'm here to help....who wants to go first?"

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    • #82
      Sam lifted his head high, pushed his forelegs off the ground and stood erect. We all jumped backwards, eyes wide open, mouths agape in shock and Sam spoke...
      "I've had just about enough of you selfish humans, it's about time we Fur People ruled the world!"
      His right paw fumbled and out from the shaggy hair came a handgun - aimed shakingly at the DQ.

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      • #83
        But Sam had forgotten about opposable thumbs, so the gun, while pawed, could not be pulled, and the DQ looked even more smug than before.
        "You mutt" she hissed, "some neat trick but you can't fire that thing!"
        "Oh no?" Sam howled (which really sounded more like "arrooooooo").......and then

        From Mudsville, USA

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        • #84
          Another shot rang out. The cop's reflexes had taken over. He was sure it would be termed a justifiable killing. It was done -- Sam was dead. Every one stared in horror, both at the thought of a talking dog and at the poor creature now lying lifeless at their feet. Dr. Phil looked at the cop and was the first to speak, "Looks like somebody has some anger management issues!"

          I was in a state of shock, not knowing what to say at this point. Surprisingly, Jake was the next one to speak.....

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          • #85
            "He's dead, poor little mutt...and nobody read him his animal rights!!!"

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            • #86
              The whole group moaned at agedbayhunter's pun. A collective hiss could be heard, more like sighing snake...
              The cop holstered his smoking gun, slithered his body towards Dr. Phil and spat out...

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              • #87
                Before the spittle had hit the ground Jeb was out of the UPS truck and was one hairy arm's length from the hazel eyed cop. "Don't take another step you tequila swigging, Pringle wearing, Brad Pitt wanna be." Jeb then gently turned to Dr. Phil and asked...

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                • #88
                  "What's up, Doc?"

                  The normally jovial TV shrink was not amused, and he snorted: "A heck of a lot more sick stuff than I normally have to deal with during the course of my show."

                  "You're not just whistling Dixie, Phil ol' buddy," said the cashmere clad cop as he pointed a finger at me. "There's been a clear case of Peepicide here, too."

                  I gasped -- which, take my word for it, is hard to do when you have a mouthful of marshmallow chicks -- then grabbed a handful of mane and hauled myself up on the mare's back, giving her a sharp whack on the rump with the empty Peep box.

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                  • #89
                    Having just given birth, the mare was in no mood to be ridden. She gave one hard buck, and I was face-first in the manure pile. The empty Peep box landed on my head.

                    "You are such a loser," said Jake as he led the mare and foal back to the barn.

                    "Yeah, you and your little dog, too," said the DQ.

                    The cashmere-clad cop said, "Hey, sis, Uncle Hans and I are going out for a drink. We'd invite you, but you're full of $hit." They both laughed, got in the police car, and drove off. Jeb got in the UPS truck and drove it away.

                    So there I was, laying in a pile of manure all alone, with an empty peep box on my head. I had never felt so low.

                    ~Sara
                    *Member of the Dirt Divers 78th Airborne Unit, ATH Squadron*
                    *T-Minus 5 Weeks Until My Beval Devon Arrives!*

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                    • #90
                      The DQ just stared at me, face down, with an empty peeps box beside me. "How could you have eaten all my favorite peeps?" she screamed at me. It was really hard to answer with a mouthful of peeps and manure.
                      Life is great when you can hug a horse.

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                      • #91
                        "Well, I was only trying to protect your silicone riddled body from those nasty carbs. Beside I think you are definitely an autumn and peeps only come in spring. They are all wrong for you." I said. "Well, I see your point" the DQ said, motioning to her attendant to brush the manure off my backside. Wait a minute, did the earth move or was that......
                        See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

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                        • #92
                          Yes it was, the son of Dr. Atkins. All 350 pounds of him comes ambling over, "Did someone mention peeps?" He had been over at Dr. Phil's house trying to deal with his binge eating problem, a result of all those years of growing up without a carbohydrate in the house. "Jeb what else do you have in that UPS truck of yours?"

                          "Cross my heart and hope to fly." - AKM

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                          • #93
                            This was all too much. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours and this weekend was the first big show of the year. My morgan/saddlebred/haflinger mare "Hot n' Crazy" was entered in the Grand Prix...we had been schooling for this for almost a week now and I wanted to be at my peak performance. I just couldn't bear it if that Hugh Hoffmeyer beat me again. No, I would show him this year!
                            \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

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                            • #94
                              Yes, I'd pick myself up, dust myself off (well, after the manure pile, perhaps a power wash was in order) and start all over...or would I?

                              There was a sinking feeling in my stomach and it wasn't just from Peeps -- those had gone directly to my hips. Before I ever rode against Hugh again, I'd have to sort out my relationships (perhaps Dr. Phil could help me out there, unless it turned out that he was part of my family too), haul out my Visa card and order some new tack (Sam had stripped the Butet down to the tree and, licking his chops, trotted off to the barn in search of a tasty bridle or two), AND put in some serious time with a personal trainer.

                              My heart swelled along with my Peep-enhanced hips as I thought of the possibilities for finding just the right person to work out with -- and I remembered those massive forearms on Jeb. But he had fled in the UPS truck...or had he? Who was that huddled with Dr. Atkins' son and the DQ?

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                              • #95
                                I couldn't believe my eyes...it was the energizer bunny! Home at last! He glanced in my direction and suddenly froze, hissing as he did, "It's you! The damned cat!" And then...
                                \"The world\'s greatest achievements often happen on the edge of chaos\"

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                                • #96
                                  I shrugged half heartedly and just found the nearest bale and plunked down. No one on Earth would blame me for crying now. And God only knows I had to. Too much to cope with in too little time.. So I bawled and poured out my tears. Feeling the stream of saline wash away the confusion and sorrow. I largely ignored the entire world until a small wimpering noise had caught my attention.

                                  It was coming from the hay loft. Very quiet but somehow enough to grab my interest. I climbed the stairs to investigate. And low and behold I smiled. One true smile. Sam had left an heir....

                                  "The brave may not live forever, but the cautious never truly live at all"
                                  "Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all." ~2001 The Princess Diaries

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                                  • #97
                                    .or was it a hair?..whatever it was it was making noises.should i look? or not? but of course i couldn't leave without taking care of a poor,defenceless ???????????

                                    mm
                                    mm

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                                    • #98
                                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by myrna:
                                      .or was it a hair?..whatever it was it was making noises.should i look? or not? but of course i couldn't leave without taking care of a poor,defenceless ???????????

                                      mm<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                      or...was it a hare? And &lt;was&gt; it poor and defenseless? Memories of "that rabbit is dynamite" from Monty Python, filled a head that still hurt from all that Merlot that what's-his-name had plied me with...I sqinted painful eyes in the direction of the gentle sounds and realized...
                                      \"The world\'s greatest achievements often happen on the edge of chaos\"

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                                      • #99
                                        the sound was coming from a little baby! Human baby, that is. All wrapped up in yellow bunting, it had been left in the hay. Could this be the baby that was not Jake's?

                                        -Anne, formerly Pretty Filly, now Four Socks. The proud new owner of Greg!-
                                        -Code Of Silence-

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                                        • #100
                                          (( Severely confused... SAM had left an heir...thus dog... Or so I intended ))

                                          Still loving the thread though.. Kick on kids!!!

                                          ~Emily

                                          "The brave may not live forever, but the cautious never truly live at all"
                                          "Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all." ~2001 The Princess Diaries

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