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Am I crazy? Or anti-social? Or what?

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  • #21
    Pfft, AMATEUR! I go to the barn at night when I know the arena will be empty, and will groom for a really long time to stall if I see a group about to hit the trails, so I don't get asked to go with.

    I like talkin to the folks at my barn, but I feel the same way. When I'm in the saddle, I don't want to chitchat or visit with others. It's time for JUST me and my mare.

    The only time I really enjoy going out with others is with my family. Also, my mum's horse and my horse are BFFs!!!! so they enjoy going out together.
    Tell a Gelding. Ask a Stallion. Discuss it with a Mare... Pray if it's a Pony!

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    • #22
      I prefer that too. There is a guy at my stable who has latched on to me for whatever reason and when he's around and I'm riding, he thinks that walking along next to me and chatting is a good idea. It makes me so mad, and I constantly say thing like "I really have to work on this" but he thinks that since I'm "just walking" it's not a big deal and I can socialize. Arrrgggh. This just happened again last week.

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      • #23
        I have sort of the opposite problem. I've always had my horses at work with me. And in my free time, I had a VERY hard time being able to or in one place, allowed to have my own time to do my thing. I always had to be open to help the rest and rarely got enough time to concentrate on my own horse the way I'd have liked. If we took a group ride, I was the responsible one for the group. Sometimes it's nice just to hack out but that never happened.

        That got to be a problem when riding, what was my solace at one time, became just another thing I had to do in a day. ANd when I started getting bitter about it, that's when I knew I had to make a change. I still have a hard time relaxing in my own company when I have the occassion but it's not nearly as bad.

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        • #24
          I'm a pretty social person, I have a solid group of friends, I like being around people - but I like being left alone at the barn. I don't know why really, maybe it's because I spend both my jobs (full-time office job and part-time retail) dealing with people, and since I work 7 days a week, I deal with people EVERY DAY. At the end of a long work day, what I really want is to unwind with my horse, not socialize with other boarders. I've also spent the last 15 years in huge busy boarding/lesson/show barns where having the ring to yourself only happens once in a blue moon. A couple weeks ago I moved to a teeny private barn with a few other boarders. I've ridden with others a couple times, but mainly I've been there alone. I LOVE IT!!!

          anabug - I had a woman like that at my last barn. I swear she somehow knew my schedule and would purposely come out when I was there. She'd corner me in the tack room and yak my ear off. I'd tell her I had to leave, running late, and she'd just ignore me and keep talking. Ooooooh so irritating!

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          • #25
            Hah! We have one of those at our barn. As rude as it sounds, sometimes you just have to excuse yourself and walk away.

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            • #26
              Alot of the times I would prefer to ride in a group. Especially for trail rides and stuff like that. And jumping is fun when your in a group. But dressage is nice to be alone for.

              The problem is my mare. She's not a fan of others invading her bubble but normally when we go out in groups I can get her to behave as long as she can think she's the alpha in the group. Ah, mares....

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              • #27
                Originally posted by Gray Horse H/J View Post

                anabug - I had a woman like that at my last barn. I swear she somehow knew my schedule and would purposely come out when I was there. She'd corner me in the tack room and yak my ear off. I'd tell her I had to leave, running late, and she'd just ignore me and keep talking. Ooooooh so irritating!

                He's like that too! Last week when he was out there I purposely took forever to groom, got out the clippers even, and he was like, hanging out with his tacked up horse in the aisle WAITING for me.

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                • #28
                  You see, you are doing a multitude of things and there are different types of horse people. You like eventing, so you can't be that bad
                  And us eventers, for the most part, are exactly like you. No one bothers us until we're done. We have a time table to keep and exact tasks that need to get done in order and we get it down to a science. Then we kick it up and relax (and eat!).
                  Now that I'm with the big dogs competing, it's getting kinda lonely. By the time my friends are arriving, I've packed it up and all I want to do is go home and sleep.
                  Even duct tape can't fix stupid

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                  • #29
                    Reading through all the posts here I've decided I belong in the Rides Alone & Loves It group.

                    I do enjoy trails, but not when I have to babysit other riders. Not that I am Queen of Trails, but sometimes out there you see things that make you cringe. At least if I'm alone on trail noone has to observe if I do something cringeworthy.

                    In the arena I am usually so concentrated on my riding that while I can easily share the space with other riders, I just do not do chitchat.

                    Once I'm off my horse then I can relax and socialize.

                    Having boarded my horses for 20+ years I finally brought them home in '04. I can honestly say I do not miss the company when I ride.
                    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
                    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
                    Hey Vern! 1982-2009, Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009
                    Sam(Jaybee Altair) 1994-2015

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                    • #30
                      Originally posted by anabug View Post
                      He's like that too! Last week when he was out there I purposely took forever to groom, got out the clippers even, and he was like, hanging out with his tacked up horse in the aisle WAITING for me.
                      Hey, anabug, maybe he's sweet on ya!?

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                      • #31
                        For someone who actually is firmly on the introvert side of the spectrum...I love love love my group lessons. I think riding has always been such a social thing for me that I'm happiest being able to talk to everyone, especially talk about the horses. At least it's something I know about!

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                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Beasmom View Post
                          Hey, anabug, maybe he's sweet on ya!?
                          That's what I was going to say!

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by CenterlineGirl2 View Post
                            I think that you are a dressage rider in the making...
                            Yes, I agree. I enjoy being alone too. But please don't turn into one of those people who bite your head off if you say hello to them. Or have rules about how they are treated. I know you are not like that now but if you linger too long in the dressage ring things start to happen to people....
                            “If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished?”
                            ? Rumi






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                            • #34
                              Does any of this make any sense? Am I nuts? Or does anyone else have similar feelings?
                              Yes. No. Yes!
                              "None of us can move forward if half of us are being held back." ~Anonymous~

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                              • #35
                                I'm fairly social, but prefer smaller groups. Riding out with one or two people is my idea of a great time...plus that my guy is only 4 and does better with another beast around is a real plus.

                                Barns are usually female bastions...the girls at the barn may meet after the barn or even at each other's houses...which is great. Most of their menfolk aren't happy or understanding of another guy in their SO's life. So, the social part of the barn is under saddle vs. after riding.
                                "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

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                                • Original Poster

                                  #36
                                  Thanks for all the replies. This is nothing I lose sleep over, but I train at home and as such don't have much exposure to people who feel the same as I do. They're out doing their thing, while the "groupies" seem to seek me out. I like the fact that someone thinks enough to include me...but I'll see ya at the restaurant after! We can re-live the whole day, if that's what you want, after DannyBoy's safely tucked in for the night. It's just nice to know I'm not alone in my feelings.

                                  Gayla, not much chance of that. Danny's an XC guy. We do just enough of the dressage to get us to the next phase! I will say, winding down my second season, I am starting to think of dressage as more than that thing you have to go through to get to the jumps. I've even started working with a dressage trainer. Eeek!
                                  HorsePower! www.tcgequine.blogspot.com

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                                  • #37
                                    Have just returned to my barn after a few years away. In the meantime, they've developed a boarding business. Now I remember why I hate people.

                                    I deal with people and their questions/problems all.day.long at work. I don't want to deal with any of that when I'm at the barn.

                                    If I'm there during the week, I have limited time. Leave me alone & fer f*cks sake, stay out of my way when I'm schooling. Perhaps noticing that the horse is on the bit & I'm riding a circle with transitions within the gait is a clue that I am working. Even if it's at the walk.

                                    If I'm there during the weekend, I have slightly less limited time. And it's even more precious to me. Leave me out of the drama. Please.

                                    I have an iPod & I'm about to start using it.

                                    That said, I adore my hunting friends & really relish the time we all ride together. Maybe 'cause we have to be quiet until a check or it's breakfast after the hunt.

                                    signed,
                                    Cranky Member of Loners R Us.
                                    ~ Horse Box Lovers Clique ~

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                                    • #38
                                      OMG, Rivenoak, I love your Dogbert quote!

                                      I also want to be a cranky member of Loners R Us. Uh, wait. Then we wouldn't be loners... oh, never mind.

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                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by Beasmom View Post
                                        OMG, Rivenoak, I love your Dogbert quote!

                                        I also want to be a cranky member of Loners R Us. Uh, wait. Then we wouldn't be loners... oh, never mind.
                                        that quote is funny.....


                                        I think starting a clique woul defeat the purpose, but I'm in if we do.....hey should we organize a trailride?
                                        to err is human, to whinny, Equine.
                                        Ebay-aholic! Carolina clique, BITS AND BARTER BOARD BUDDY
                                        EYEGLASSES MISSIONS FOR ARMENIA-send me your old glasses!

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