• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Not Enough Time--Midwinter Vent

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Not Enough Time--Midwinter Vent

    I have three horses that I keep at home on my small farm. We have no arena, but we do have some nice trails. Perfect, right? The problem is I never have time to ride. I mean, literally never. I have two young children (ages 5 years and 9 months) and I work at home, which is great because it means my kids don't have to be in full-time daycare. The baby has never been in day care, and my daughter has Pre-K three days a week. On the other hand, that means I have no time at all when I'm neither working nor caring for the kids--therefore I can't go jaunting off on a trail ride, leaving the babies home alone.

    One of my horses is retired and unsound. (Of course, he's the one that eats the most--go figure.) My other horses are 13 and 10 this year. I love them, and they are both so great to ride--but I feel like I'm being forced to put riding on hold until both of my children are in school--in five years. The horses will then be 18 and 15! I don't want to wait that long! Aside from the time issue, there's the ever-present financial burden. I can--just barely--afford to keep these expensive beasts at home, but boarding and lessons would be a stretch. I'd love to board one of them at an indoor for the winter, but it's hard to imagine being able to prioritize the funds for that--and then I still wouldn't really have time to ride much, so it would be a waste anyway. I did board at my trainer's barn this summer, and I only ended up riding two or three times a week, and it was really hard to eke out even that much time.

    I guess I just feel time slipping by, and I keep telling myself, someday I'll have the time and money to do the horse thing the way I want to. But when will that be? Just a vent, I guess. Looking for commiseration and advice from other parents with young children and horses.

  • #2
    I know money's tight, but is there any way you could hire a sitter to watch the baby for a few hours while your older one is in pre-K? So you would at least be riding *some* of the time...
    You have to have experiences to gain experience.

    1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

    Comment


    • #3
      No kiddies, thankfully, but I also have 3 horses at home, work from home, and have dealt with the "not enough time" feeling this winter. I don't know how one could ever get any riding in if also caring for children! quietann has a good suggestion - if you could just have a sitter come in for a couple of hours so you can ride, that seems like a good option.

      If you can't swing boarding, as you mentioned, maybe if you have a trainer that knows you and your horses, they might have a half leaser or something that might help with the bills? You'd still have to find time to go ride, but at least you'd only be paying 1/2 as much and your horse would stay in some work too, and you'd not feel too bad about only going a couple times a week.

      This is my first time having my horses here AND being able to ride (we put an arena in last fall -- before that, the "working" horses had to be boarded out). I have been limited by the weather more than anything (very wet fall/winter here), but when I do get to ride, I'm scrambling to get them all done. I am in awe of those that have full time jobs, children, any sort of non-horse life, and still can do it!

      Comment


      • #4
        Can you find a babysitter who will trade for some ride time?

        Comment


        • #5
          I feel you! I get out maybe once a week? Thank god my mare is in good hands and I don't ever worry about her. It feels like if it's not DH's job, its the weather!

          I second Gallop's advice. Find a sitter who will be happy to swap ride time for some baby-sitting duties while your older one is in school.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            I considered that last year and put out some feelers, but nothing materialized. I would love to find just the perfect person who might be willing to trade child care for, say, a half-lease on one of my horses. I'm not in a very heavily populated area, so it's not easy to find someone that A) Would be interested in that kind of a deal, and B) Would be someone that I'd trust not only to care for my baby, but to ride my horses. Maybe I will try again this spring.

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm guessing that you don't have family in the area either? I'm sorry! Where are you located? Maybe you have a COTHer near you that might be able to help, or at least hook you up with some resources!

              Comment


              • #8
                I have been there and I feel for you. When my kids were small my in-laws lived on the same farm as us, but I never felt right about asking mom to watch the kids so I could ride. I had to improvise on the type of riding I did, got out the playpen, toys etc and did light riding while watching the kids play( or scream) . It does get better because they do get older, quickly. Now I have plenty of time, but live in the North where it is just too cold to ride right now. So I am venting too.

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  I live in Western Maine. Superminion, I just noticed you're in Vermont! I just spent 2 days at my sister's house in Fairlee.

                  My parents and my in-laws are each about an hour away, in opposite directions. In-laws are no help, but my mom does come over for a day of baby-playing a couple of times a month--but usually I spend that time working. Since I don't have a regular 9-to-5 schedule, I end up squeezing in work time whenever I have a chance.

                  candyappy, I have done that, left my son in his stroller napping and/or crying while I rode in the ring at my trainer's. I couldn't handle the guilt, though. Plus at home I don't even have an arena, so that's not really an option.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by JCS View Post

                    candyappy, I have done that, left my son in his stroller napping and/or crying while I rode in the ring at my trainer's. I couldn't handle the guilt, though. Plus at home I don't even have an arena, so that's not really an option.
                    I didn't have an arena either, just a flat field next to the house which enabled me to ride at least BRIEFLY until the kids had a complete meltdown( why do people buy playpens? kids hate them). They never remember the crying and at least I was spending a little time with the horses.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Check with some of the local churches to see it they have a Mother's Day Out program. A couple of our churches do. It was basically a day care type setting that let you drop your kid off a couple of times a week or so while Mom ran errands, shopped, whatever. The kids would probably benefit from the socialization and you would get some "me" time.
                      I'm a second hand Vegan. Cows eat grass. I eat cows.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        When I was in your position I only had one horse so that's a lot less work. (You might look into cutting back on your herd). I had a small house and a big yard. I would settle the baby down for his nap and ask my three year old to come and get me if he started crying. Then I'd turn on tv to Sesame street and Mr. Rogers. Presto! Two whole hours to ride. The only catch was I rode round and round the house- pretending it was a fine arena and having a great time. In a year or so you could trade one of your horses for a pony, teach the five year old to ride, and the baby can ride in front of you. It will get easier. There's a funny thing about these years of babyhood. They fly by so quickly you won't believe it. You have decades to come of time to ride without kids. You can work this out and meanwhile, give thanks for your precious, irreplaceable blessings. I know it's tough but this too shall pass. (((HUGS))).

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I may have missed something, but where is these kids' father? Hand them to him and say, "I'm going to ride. Take care of the kids."
                          Everybody lies - Gregory House, M.D.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It's got to do with work, I'd imagine. In the summer, we can ride because it's light until late (after Dad gets home). In the winter, when it's dark at 5....well, that makes it harder. (Of course, I'm projecting...if that's not the case, then this has just become my own whiny vent).

                            Here are things that I have seen as suggestions that are good...

                            Can you get some lights and clear an area as an "arena" to ride? They have those work lights that are pretty good.

                            Can you find a college student that will watch kids for a lunch hour?

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              Originally posted by DakotaTA View Post
                              I may have missed something, but where is these kids' father? Hand them to him and say, "I'm going to ride. Take care of the kids."
                              Good point! LOL. In fact, he is currently acting as stay-at-home Dad while I work. His job is seasonal, but he's EXTREMELY busy spring through fall, and then gets a couple of months of down time in the winter. It's great for him to have this time with the kids, but the flip side of the coin is that I'm the sole breadwinner for those couple of months, so I work as much as I can.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                So you're telling me that your husband can't watch your kids by himself without killing them for an hour a few days a week?

                                You are married and if you want an hour to spend on a horse a few days a week it should not be such a big deal. Either he's a lazy unhelpful bum or you are an overprotective mother with a bag of excuses.

                                I know I'm being very blunt, but the time is there if you want it to be there.
                                http://weanieeventer.blogspot.com/

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Stay at home dad? really? I can't believe you have an issue...??? My DH would say ok have fun!!!!

                                  this totally changes things. you work from home, the horses are at home....Go ride. Seriously.

                                  I'd love to have "only those" obstacles. We all have things that might prevent us from riding (time, money, job, pets, family, etc). I made it work because its important to me and I have to commute to the barn after a long day at work (and other commitments).

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by enjoytheride View Post
                                    So you're telling me that your husband can't watch your kids by himself without killing them for an hour a few days a week?

                                    You are married and if you want an hour to spend on a horse a few days a week it should not be such a big deal. Either he's a lazy unhelpful bum or you are an overprotective mother with a bag of excuses.

                                    I know I'm being very blunt, but the time is there if you want it to be there.
                                    Rude.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Color me confused.
                                      "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
                                      ---
                                      The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Instead of saying "I don't have time to xxx" try saying "xxx is not a priority for me."

                                        True, right? Interesting how it changes your perspective.

                                        Comment

                                        Working...
                                        X