• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Winter blues, or facing reality?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    If it's any consolation to you, OP, Nya probably doesn't care so long as she gets her 3 hots and a cot.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    • #22
      SAD is really tough, it just saps motivation right out of you and makes you tired all the time.

      I'd wait it out as well. If the $ is not an issue, then maybe see if you can find a horseless teen through 4 H or Pony Club who would be interested in taking your horse on as a project or free-lease at your current barn. They could help you out with chores maybe a few hours one day a week or every other week to 'pay' for their riding time. Your mare doesn't sound dangerous, just a little bratty, and that will likely be better if she is in regular work. Sounds like she *has* all the basics and at this point just really needs some regular mileage.

      So try that for a while and see where you stand. Your mare will be getting some mileage and regular riding, you won't feel guilty that she is sitting there without a job, and you can concentrate on your morgan.

      If you still feel like you need to sell her after a few months of this arrangement, then that's what you do. Maybe the teen will fall in love with her and they'd be interested in buying her. Or maybe you will decide that she is more fun to ride after some additional mileage.


      • #23
        I'm sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve.

        Another factor to consider is what kind of problem you have- It's a problem of abundance. That's a GOOD problem. You have two beautiful, sane, talented horses so nice you can't decide which to ride. Yay! Millions of people would love to be in your shoes. In these SAD days make a real effort to count your blessings. Take better care of yourself, rest, and be patient. This too shall pass. In your situation, I'd be praying and looking for the Lord's guidance but if you're not religious, you can count on yourself to know what's the right thing to do when the time is right to make a decision. Breathe deeply and relax. Give thanks for what you have. (((HUGS))).


        • #24
          Tif_Ann, I really do know what you are going through. I have also thought along those lines last year. But I had been working more than usual for two years and had been doing a lot of dog stuff. When I did have time to ride, it was raining/cold /hot dark. I felt I was only doing the chores and not spending enough time with them.
          However I have four horses, three are riding age and the 21 year old TB gelding is retired, blind in one eye. (Yes, rideable, but. . . )
          My two younger mares are 7 and 8. I started them myself, gave them very nice foundations, but didn't keep them up for these last two years. However, they just take a small effort to get back into it comfortably and safely. Yes, they are very green for their ages. Yes, I feel bad about that. I certainly considered selling one.
          The one I would not sell is very much like your mare!! She's small, great minded and a nice mover. I have 'relationships' with these horses, and fortunately things changed and I can ride two a day a few days a week. I am sooo glad I didn't start to advertise anyone for sale!

          So I am in line to say wait and see. If you sell your mare, once she is gone, she's gone. And I wish mine only cost that much to keep, LOL . Although it is much better in the summer when they have grass, of course.

          I also agree with praying for the right outcome, or intuition, whatever works for you, but let it come from within your heart, don't overthink it.

          Hang in there.


          • #25
            Originally posted by Tif_Ann View Post
            I'm sorry I know it is hard to follow, and that's probably why I'm at such a loss with what to do. It's probably something I shouldn't even worry about right now, but it's eating me up. I do about 10 hours a week of chores at my boarding barn right now. I usually work them both Friday mornings after I do the morning turnout chores. Right now, it's very cold and we have very short days in South Dakota. I go to work M-Th at 5:30 am and get home at 6:00 p.m., and it's already dark. In the summer I have sunlight until 10:00 p.m. and there just seems to be so much more time! I've also been working overtime for the past 3-4 weeks AND we have a newborn foal in the rescue which means our home chores are taking 1-1.5 hours instead of the usual half hour or so. I've just been so overwhelmingly busy between the rescue, overtime, chores, holidays, etc ... that I feel like there's no way I can devote enough time to two horses to keep them both happy!

            I don't know - maybe my sister is right and I just need to wait the winter out and see where things are in April/May. At that point, maybe with the longer daylight hours, the better temperatures, no overtime, etc., it won't seem so overwhelming and I'll find it's a moot point. And I really don't know how much the loss of my heart horse is affecting this - I still miss him every single day.

            I guess my question is more do I listen to that internal voice that's saying I should find her a better person, or do I give it some time and chalk it up to winter/grief blues and see where things are in a few months? And how to find balance between two horses so differently suited - if they were both lovely dressage horses it would help because they could go to the same shows, etc. What would YOU do?
            OMG you sound just like me. Not about a horse, but about my house. I go on and on, should i sell it, should i keep it, but i like it in the summer...etc, etc.
            I think its a winter thing. I hate winter, it sucks. Makes me also sound confused and out of sorts. I would stick with what your sister says, sounds to me like she knows you better than yourself.
            My other home.


            • #26
              Originally posted by Tif_Ann View Post
              Thanks everyone. Yes, I can afford them both. No, I don't have a lot of extra cash, and I do chores to pay off their board, but that's because it's not hard work, it gets me to the barn several days a week, and it's nice to pay $50/month for two horses - one of whom is in a stall on full care. I also live exactly one mile from my boarding barn so it's very convenient. If money was the problem, I'd move the Morgan to pasture to begin with ... or bring them home and let them take the places two rescue horses are currently using! (much cheaper at home to care for them). I think that's a big part of it - it's cold and miserable and chores take longer. Heck, just getting dressed to go outside takes 10 minutes!

              I'm sure everyone is right, including my sister. Even my barn owner told me I was nuts to think about giving up my mare, as she really likes her. Last night was the first night in 3-4 weeks that I did NOTHING. I got home from work at 6:00, my sister had nearly all the home horse chores done so all I had to do was fill the water tanks (and she yelled at me for that, told me she could do it and I needed a night off) ... and I made a frozen pizza, shut my computer off, and just caught up on a TV show on DVR. Went to bed at 9:00! Was really nice to not come home after working 10 hours, do 1-1.5 hours of chores, make/eat dinner, and then spend 2-3 hours on overtime work, getting to bed around 11:00 and up at 4:30 to start the day over again. Perhaps I am simply exhausted and need a break. I just know right now I feel like SOMETHING has to give and I look forward and think - when am I ever going to find time for TWO horses this summer? I originally thought I would take Nya to the local shows and show her hunt, and only take the Morgan to dressage shows; but we have to trailer 3+ hours to get to any dressage show so it would be really convenient to take him to the local shows for experience, which leaves my mare out in the cold again. I can't ride them both in the same class!

              I do think the thoughts have some validity, though. I would ideally like to find a horseless rider that could work with her, but as I said, she needs an intermediate rider and it seems like everyone that I know that wants to lease needs beginner safe horses. I don't think she'll ever be a beginner horse - she's very athletic and green enough she still needs a rider confident enough to not let her be in charge. I have a horse-loving friend who is always wanting to get back into horses, asking to ride, but she can't afford a horse. I've mentioned perhaps she could take over some of my chores to half-lease Nya; the problem is she has been unreliable in the past. But it might be worth it, and would also give my sister and I an additional trail riding friend, local show buddy, etc.

              I don't know. I think the last four weeks have been a wakeup call that something has to change. But I also think I say that every winter, when chores are taking forever and we can never get warmed up from the cold. I have clear goals and future plans for the Morgan - I can see exactly where I want to go with him. With her, I just don't know.
              I think it's very Cold and Dark way up in Sioux Falls, and you have a lot of darktime on your hands, leading to overthinking, leading to First World Problems, which is the only one I see here. As in, "A problem, which is no problem, is NO PROBLEM!!"


              • #27
                Would it work to bring your mare to your place? Then on the days you don't have a lot of time, you could take a short ride with her. At least you'd be around her more.

                But I vote to wait for spring, too.


                • #28
                  Wait, you're in Sioux Falls?? No wonder you're in the midst of SAD. In the winter, that is one dreary town, no offense intended. But, as a former big rig trucker who drove through there in all seasons, I can certainly attest to the blahies.....
                  GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!


                  • #29
                    What about cutting down the hours of chores you do during the winter, and for those 4 months or however long just pay more for boarding? Or bring one of them home during the lessened daylight time?
                    Then in the spring, make it a *fun* resolution to do more with the mare. Set a goal- two shows, x number of rides per week for a straight month, or similar. At the end of that goal, reassess how you feel about the mare, her progress and handling that schedule. If it's not working out, move onto a plan b.
                    Does your bo or a trainer know of any kids that would be interested in free leasing or catch riding? If there is a trainer at the barn, maybe the mare could be used in a lesson per week. Same responsible rider each time, etc. It sounds a bit like a situation i would be interested in, because it's like what I'm doing now. My trainer owns the horse, and i ride him every lesson. However, i can't really afford a lease, but my trainer also really just wants him in regular work, so i come and ride whenever I can after work or on my other day off. (Honestly I think she wants ME to get the mileage as well because I'm- truly- not a natural talent, but responsible and careful, and it makes lessons better for me to have a practice ride or two!)


                    • #30
                      Double post...
                      Last edited by bits619; Jan. 15, 2013, 11:40 PM.


                      • #31
                        I'd also wait on selling her.

                        FWIW, as a kid/teen/college age I would have killed for a horse like your mare to ride. I'd try posting ads for a lease for her. I'd be shocked if you couldn't find a person who would love to ride her especially if all the lease entailed was taking over her share of the chores and $50/mo. Do you live anywhere close to a school (university especially), especially one with a collegiate equestrian program? Try posting an ad on campus or in the school paper. Ask farriers. Not just yours, but the others that come to the boarding barn. Ask vets. Ask around at local tack shops.

                        *Someone* will know someone who wants a nice horse to ride that is capable of doing a little schooling on it. Heck, at my barn alone there are 4 or 5 horseless teens that would be more than capable of taking on a sort of project horse like your mare, but they can't actually own a horse at this point.

                        Also? Your horse doesn't give a hoot how much potential she has. My Arab has the potential to be a really great endurance horse. He also could have done very well on the Arab show circuit. Do I have the time/money/inclination to get to the upper levels of either sport? Not really. Do I have an absolute blast with him with the stuff we do at low levels? Absolutely! Who cares if he could have gone to Nationals and done very well with a different owner. I bet he doesn't. As my horse, he gets to live out and be in a herd. He doesn't have to live in a 12x12 box 24/7. He doesn't have to live the stressful life of a top competitive show horse. As my horse if he doesn't enjoy doing something, we probably won't keep doing it (in terms of trying a new sport/event...he does have to do exercises and whatnot he doesn't like).


                        • #32
                          I agree on the waiting. Winter is HARD, especially working as much as you do! I'm exhausted reading it, and I keep a similar schedule. She's a LOVELY mare. I'd look into leasing her possibly, lots of people at a higher level of riding need a fun mount when they can't afford one (I've been in that place many times!) and it would give you a good bit of extra time to make up your mind, and see how you feel not riding her. *hugs*


                          • #33
                            I notice in your original post your sister wants to event, and you think your mare would be good at it...what about letting your sister ride your mare? Then she would be getting more work...and you could still keep her if you wanted.


                            • #34
                              Don't rush in to sell her, especially when you know that you're not at your emotional best right now. Once she's on someone else's trailer you can't undo it when the weather is 70 degrees and sunny. However, if you advertise at your local college that you have a half-lease in exchange for barn work, maybe you can have her ridden, and more than her share of the barn chores done, too. Even if the leasee was just to take your weekend chores, that would give you more time to ride your gelding. And if that works out and you still feel like selling, you can consider it in 5 months.



                              • #35
                                You might watch this 8 minute video by Canadian Vitamin D researcher Rhinehold Vieth (a ray of sunshine himself!). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5HiBtY3ccw SAD can be effectively treated with vitamin D and and can even be helped by UVB-dominant tanning beds. Why wait for spring when you can basically buy most of its goodness in a cheap bottle of 5,000 IU Vitamin D3? Seriously - Target, Walgreens...

                                Get yourself right and the horse 'problem' will right itself too.


                                • #36
                                  I'm with you OP. I get a bit down in the winter, but I keep my horses on the family farm. Without an indoor or even an outdoor with sand (it's grass) and no lights, winter riding is tough. My horses basically get Dec-Feb off with occasional trailrides on the nice weekends. It's ok. It's a good break for both of us!

                                  I'm with you on the 2 horse thing too. I've had my Quarter Pony since she was 2 (now 15...bought when I was 15) and have done everything with her. 4-H, western trail, gymkhanna, some hunter shows, a schooling horse trial, schooling dressage shows, etc. The way she is built (super-long back, not strong hind), just isn't conducive to dressage which is now what I'm starting to focus on. I started training my mom's green-broke Appy gelding and he is a dream. His ability and work ethic make nearly every ride on him one of those "grin ear to ear" rides. The Pony? Not so much. We'd fight sometimes, she'd get sassy, she gives only as much as you ask of her....etc.

                                  I rode her a grand total of 2 times all year last year...and all before April. I'm at a crossroads where I'm terrified to give her up, but I know she would have a blast with some gutsy pony-clubber. I've thought about leasing and may consider that more in the spring.

                                  I guess the point I"m trying to make is that sitting in a pasture for a year or so didn't kill her, didn't harm her head in any way (oh did I mention that until recently she would run from me if I brought a halter into the pasture? Silly girl). Wait it out. Daylight savings time is only 53 days away!
                                  The only thing the government needs to solve all of its problems is a Council of Common Sense.