• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

No Good Deed

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • No Good Deed

    I feel like such a chump. During the summer my trainer told me one of her students was looking for the type of horse I'm always interested in. Small horse, large pony type, good temperment, advanced beginner friendly. Something she can trail ride, take to local hunter shows, maybe dabble in dressage.

    I didn't talk to the actual buyer until early November, but I already had a horse in mind that I knew of that had been on the market for a little while and sounded like a good fit. Well bred, right size, good basic dressage training, seemed ammy friendly, went out on trail alone, and cute over fences. Had never personally seen the horse, but know seller, as well as what was put into training the horse, and trust it is being fairly represented.

    After some miscommunications on my part (sending info to wrong email address for buyer) as well as the usual holday delays, finally got the buyer and seller talking to each other last week. I told the buyer I'd be happy to go with her as a friend and 2nd eye to see horse. No commission or anything involved, just going along for the fun of it. They finally set a time for her to go see the horse - less than a few hours later seller calls and says horse is NQR and is pulling it off the market.

    I feel so bad about this and wonder if they might both feel that if I'd followed up better, seller would have gotten the horse sold, and buyer would not have wasted a month in her search. I know its not my fault that horse came up NQR, but if things had moved along a little more quickly, there might be a happy new horse owner and seller out there right now, instead of 2 people who feel they've wasted a lot of time talking to me.

    I feel I should at least send a note along to both seller and buyer to say how sorry I am that things did not work out and hope that neither blames me for the whole fiasco.
    Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
    Witherun Farm

  • #2
    OR maybe you kept buyer from getting a horse that shows up NQR a month after she buys it.
    OR maybe you kept buyer from paying for a PPE on a horse and "wasting" her money because the horse fails and now she spend money but doesn't have a horse.

    Things work out for a reason.

    I don't think you owe anybody an apology or explanation. You are not a professional. You were doing this to help people out.
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)


    • #3
      I'm with SonnysMom. A month wasted is nothing in horse searchland.

      Try not to beat yourself up. It just simply means that this horse isn't the right one for the buyer and a better one will come along.


      • #4
        Seems like the delay helped the buyer out. Sorry about the seller having a NQR horse now, but that's life. Hopefully the seller takes care of it well.

        I don't think you owe anyone an apology. It wasn't your job to be the mediator, right? You weren't getting paid? So then I don't think it was your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.
        http://www.youtube.com/user/NBChoice http://nbchoice.blogspot.com/
        The New Banner's Choice- 1994 ASB Mare
        Dennis The Menace Too- 1999 ASB Gelding
        Dreamacres Sublime- 2008 ASB Gelding


        • #5
          I don't think you owe anybody an apology as in accepting blame or admitting doing anything wrong, but it's always nice to say that you're sorry things didn't work out for them. Kind of like telling someone you're sorry when they break their arm. You're not taking any responsibility, but you ARE sorry!
          I have a Fjord! Life With Oden


          • #6
            I would not send the "I'm sorry" email. A) no one has wasted any money or effort-- it's just been a few phone calls or emails. and 2) there's no logic to the thought that the sale would have happened if only they'd gotten together 2 weeks earlier.
            An apology from you would be relevant (not needed, but nice to offer) if one of the *humans* flaked out -- let's say the potential buyer called off the visit at the last second. Then I might call (not email!) the seller to say sorry it didn't work out (because, in a way, you are kind of playing a match-making role, introducing these people so they can make a biz deal. So if the deal fell apart because one of the people wasn't reliable, then it's worth expressing your regret to the other one).

            But since the horse visit was cancelled because of a completely neutral, unforeseeable event, it would seem odd to me to get an apology type email (especially if it included something along the lines of I hope you don't blame me" . I know you would word the note more artfully than this, but you know what I mean).

            And, there could be something at play that you don't know about. Maybe the seller got cold feet and needs a graceful exit, or maybe someone trash-talked the buyer, who knows.
            All that said, if it's eating at you, I'd still skip the email but instead pick up the phone and have a light, funny, and very quick phone conversation with both of them.


            • #7
              There are plenty more horses out there to look at that would work for the buyer. Since there never was a first visit, there is no way to be sure a sale would have happened.

              As someone who sells horses, I guarantee you that there is a 50/50 chance that if you have a prospective buyer coming, the horse she is looking at will be lame or have some other unforeseen issue. It's like the horse knows! And there is nothing worse than this coming as a surprise to you when the prospective buyer is on your property looking at the horse.

              I also don't see any fiasco in this series of events or any reason to be upset about. The buyer just needs to move on. Horse shopping does require some effort.
              Where Fjeral Norwegian Fjords Rule


              • #8
                I'm amazed there's an honest seller that told you the horse was NQR instead of covering it up with bute and trying to sell anyway.
                Yogurt - If you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? Steven Colbert


                • Original Poster

                  Originally posted by Mtn trails View Post
                  I'm amazed there's an honest seller that told you the horse was NQR instead of covering it up with bute and trying to sell anyway.
                  One of the many reasons I was comfortable recommending this horse is that I have faith the seller is a good egg.

                  Thanks everyone for the support. I am relieved that any problems the hrose might have came out before the buyer saw it, but do feel its a shame that 6 weeks of back and forth came to naught for either party.
                  Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                  Witherun Farm


                  • #10
                    You did nothing wrong. Stop right now. You're a good egg too.

                    NQR happens.

                    Not your fault.

                    You didn't waste anyone's time. or MONEY.
                    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                    Might be a reason, never an excuse...