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ot - my SO left me today...

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  • ot - my SO left me today...

    it's hard to find a shoulder to cry on (other than your mother's) on 4th of july.
    my SO left me this p.m. suddenly, without a warning. yes, we've had problems over the years (including the type of you must choose me or the horse) but i undeniably love the man and he loves me. i guess some relationships are just not meant to last no matter how much the two people love each other...
    i guess i'll have more time to ride now...

    "It appears we are being transformed from an information
    society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
    http://www.eponashoe.com/
    TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique
  • Original Poster

    #2
    it's hard to find a shoulder to cry on (other than your mother's) on 4th of july.
    my SO left me this p.m. suddenly, without a warning. yes, we've had problems over the years (including the type of you must choose me or the horse) but i undeniably love the man and he loves me. i guess some relationships are just not meant to last no matter how much the two people love each other...
    i guess i'll have more time to ride now...

    "It appears we are being transformed from an information
    society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
    http://www.eponashoe.com/
    TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

    Comment


    • #3


      Sorry to hear that - no fair that there was no warning!

      You are right to just take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Have a good bitch session with your mom about all of the things that you couldn't stand about him to make yourself feel better.

      Comment


      • #4
        oh, blast........

        FWIW, however this relationship ends up, I HIGHLY recommend a book by Daphne Rose Klingma called "Coming Apart: Why relationships end and how to live through the ending of yours" (or something close to that). It's a very good book to read and think about for now and for your future -- with your SO or anyone.

        My husband and I BOTH read this after relationships ended and before we got together and I think it helped both of us to have a healthy relationship.

        Hang in there, and may peace and comfort come to you. If it helps, imagine each firework today as exploding in an uncomfortable personal place for your SO.....

        Comment


        • #5


          I am here for you. That was me last summer. Three & a half years & starting to plan the wedding for this year when we ended things. Time does help. So do horses. I would of been so lost without my horse! Unfortunately it happened in the midst of a heavy show schedule. People probably thought I was crazy to show, but it kept my mind off things & I wasn't going to wallow away the rest of my summer feeling sad. Dial up the girlfriends...they are the best too.
          "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

          Comment


          • #6
            Hey there. Sorry about your break up. But don't be sad that it is over, be happy that it happened.

            Break ups are hard, I've been crushed many times. When my SO left me (thank god, he was a nasty fellow) his friend told me that it's a blessing in disguise and that I have more time to my horse and showing. He was right. When I was dating the nasty guy, I ignored my horse.

            Keep your head up! We are here for you! Party tonight! Get it up girl, you are a free woman! Now you can go after those yummy Men on those expensive Jumpers!!!

            http://www.dmtc.com/dmtc98/Pedigree/
            Look up your TB's bloodlines

            "Common sense is so rare nowadays, it should be classified as a super power."-Craig Bear Laubscher

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #7
              thanks guys!
              yeah, talking helps. too bad everyone is mia b/c of the holiday.
              i know being w/ horses will help. although i can already see myself crying my eyes on a trail ride. but my darling mare doesn't mind the tears.
              and i know this too shall pass. i just wish someone could sedate me until this strange feeling in my throat and stomach subsides.
              btw, i want to clarify what i meant when i said he left w/ no warning. i got upset over something he did and confronted him. perhaps not in the best fashion. i took a walk, came back 1/2 hour later but by then when i tried to apologize he was already packing... we just moved here last week. this was supposed to be the new beginning.
              giddy up~
              thanks! man does this hurt!!!

              "It appears we are being transformed from an information
              society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
              http://www.eponashoe.com/
              TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

              Comment


              • #8
                sorry.....come here and vent


                BarbB

                ...virtue shall be bound into the hair of thy forelock... I have given thee the power of flight without wings

                Tapestry
                Nina's Story
                Epona Comm on FB

                Comment


                • #9
                  Marta, I know what you are going through. I am going through something similar right now. check your e-mail.

                  Here are the Devilpups!!
                  http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87


                  GO MARINES!!!!!!!! OORAH!!!
                  Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                  An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Marta, sorry to hear your world has been turned upside down...

                    But there is an upside--sometimes you have to believe that things happen for a reason and I have found that things often work out for the best... I know it's hard to believe it right now, but as soon as you have mourned the passing of your relationship better things may come to you!!!!! If this guy could bail so easily, who needs him????

                    Now you can have a new beginning, only with someone else!!!!

                    Go in peace!!!!

                    "Gimme me the reins and let me run, cause I ain't never had too much fun!"
                    "None of us can move forward if half of us are being held back." ~Anonymous~

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      devildog20~
                      thanks! wrote you back.

                      and i know you're all right. but why am i so weak? why do i feel like i just got kicked in the stomach? why can't i just get angry and stop this insanity? if my friend was going through what i've been going through for the past two years i think i'd kill her just to get her away from the situation. and yet, when it comes to myself i'm a whimp, a weakling...

                      "It appears we are being transformed from an information
                      society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
                      http://www.eponashoe.com/
                      TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

                      Comment

                      • Original Poster

                        #12
                        huntjumpsc~
                        isn't it the worst when you KNOW the other person loves you and yet you can't work it out?

                        "It appears we are being transformed from an information
                        society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
                        http://www.eponashoe.com/
                        TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I watched helplessly while my daughter went thru this last year, on her birthday of all things. She loved him, he loved her, her father and I adored him, but they were terrible for each other. They made each other miserable. Finally they broke up for the third and final time,and now have both moved on and are HAPPY.
                          Find what comfort you can in friends and family, better things will come your way. ((((Hugs))))

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Marta, when I broke up with the man that I was convinced was "the one" I was devastated, to say the least.

                            Strangely enough though, the most comforting thing that anyone said came from my Dad - I believe(?)it's a fairly common quote....

                            "It's better to have loved, and lost than to have never loved at all"

                            Hang in there, and go give your horse a hug!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              The only thing I can say is it does get easier with time...a chiche but very true. It seems to me that anyone that would leave after such a small thing was looking to leave anyway, and just waited for a chance to make it look like your fault.
                              The kicked in stomach tight throat swimming head thing is NORMAL!! You've just had a major shock and change in your life - it's been less than 24 hours. Use the power of friends and horse and over time you will eventually be thinking "what was I doing????".
                              The thing I have to say is something a good friend said to me one time when a boyfriend had left me. "You are a good person, you deserve to be loved, why do you want to waste time wanting to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you??" It was harsh to hear but very true.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Dads give such great advice. I was dumped by "the one" on my birthday on the first night of a cruise two years ago. Everyone thought he was going to propose to me on that cruise. I called my parents from the boat (at $7 per minute) bawling and my dad told me that someday I would recognize that it was the best birthday present ever.

                                Now I realize that it was the best thing to have happened...as sad as it still makes me. Maybe someday you will feel the same.

                                Anyway, you hang in there. If you need to talk we are here for you.

                                I am so sorry that this happened to you .

                                ximmer

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> he's Greek and I'm not and he has no idea what to do about it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                  if my grandparents could work this issue out in the 40's, then i'm pretty sure you guys can work it out in the slightly more culturally leniant today...you might have to compromise and learn how to cook greek, though

                                  Yatta!

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    tbeventer~
                                    i just got back from giving her a hug and grazing her for an hour. in the long run she benefits from all this by having my around to dote all my attention on her.

                                    this man is unable to deal w/ stress of any type. he's quit jobs over this and he's left me over it several times in teh past (although in the past i had to move out, this time he left). every time i dissect the incident which appears to have been the cause of a breakup and feel guilty over it, and think "if only i didn't do this or say that". but the reality that i have to face is that there are serious underlying issues that he has to resolve if he's ever going to be in a logn term relationship w/ anyone. deep inside i have a feeling that this is all for good but at the moment i'm terribly heartbroken

                                    ximmer~
                                    holy cow!!! first day of the cruise?! he couldn't wait 'til the end?

                                    "It appears we are being transformed from an information
                                    society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich
                                    http://www.eponashoe.com/
                                    TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      it's usually for the best. any time it happened to me or any of my friends it has always wound up better in the long run for both people. it hurts right now, but now you can have a better chance of meeting someone who you get on far better with.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Marta, we are SOUL SISTERS!!! It sounds like your husband and mine are practically the same and it sounds like you and I are the same too, I read your posts and that is EXACTLY how I feel.

                                        Here are the Devilpups!!
                                        http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87


                                        GO MARINES!!!!!!!! OORAH!!!
                                        Is minic a rinne bromach gioblach capall cumasach
                                        An awkward colt often becomes a beautiful horse .

                                        Comment

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