ot - my SO left me today... - Chronicle Forums

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

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Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

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The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

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Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

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Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

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Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

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As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

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The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

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Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)

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heelsdown

Working Hunter

Join Date: Jan. 24, 2000

Posts: 979
#181

Sep. 1, 2003, 11:06 AM

Hope you're okay Barncat, we're all worried about you.
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Adelita

Grand Prix

Join Date: Oct. 20, 2002

Posts: 4082

Location: Austin, TX
#182

Sep. 1, 2003, 11:30 AM

Barncat, add me to the worried list.....PLEASE let us know you are okay...

>^.,.^<

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You can't have everything. Where would you put it all?
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June

Advanced

Join Date: Mar. 2, 2002

Posts: 1712
#183

Sep. 1, 2003, 12:24 PM

barncat, where are you?

please touch base- we are worried about you. Look, no explanations needed...just type something along the line of "I am here and on a keyboard".

hug and love, June

\"The world\'s greatest achievements often happen on the edge of chaos\"
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JulieMontgomery

Advanced

Join Date: Feb. 25, 2001

Posts: 1667
#184

Sep. 1, 2003, 12:28 PM

For heaven's sake! She knows her posts attracted attention. Surely she can eek out a tiny response rather than remain enigmatic and worry all of you to death......

Don't flame me.... I just find it a bit thoughtless not to let you know something.

[i]\"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be wo
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FLF

Working Hunter

Join Date: Jul. 16, 2001

Posts: 822

Location: Sunny San Diego - yipppeeee!!
#185

Sep. 1, 2003, 12:33 PM

With any luck, she mentioned her thoughts to someone who knows her and and called for help. Maybe she is a temporary inpatient somewhere?

I love this country!!
www.foxlairponies.com
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breezymeadow

Banned

Join Date: Aug. 19, 2001

Posts: 3448

Location: Rixeyville/Culpeper, VA
#186

Sep. 1, 2003, 12:54 PM

She did say in one of her posts that her SO was returning home today & had told her he did not want to find her in the house. If she had to pack up her life at the speed of light & get somewhere by today, she just might not be computer accessible.

And as worried as we all are (I know I am!) about her plight, I have to say that if I were in her shoes at this moment I just might not be thinking about the BB right now. And I don't think it's a reflection of her appreciation of our concern, just her current state of mind & personal status.

My body is a temple - unfortunately, it's a "fixer-upper".
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maudeflanders

Working Hunter

Join Date: Apr. 29, 2002

Posts: 322

Location: Kansas
#187

Sep. 1, 2003, 01:07 PM

In response to Travers' post...

Some shelters can help with animals, some can't, and many (like the one I work at) have a strict rule that employees are NOT to get personal with clients (i.e. loan personal money, take pets to their own homes, etc.) This can be very hard and frustrating for both crisis workers and clients, but it's a good rule (IMO). Most shelters will be able to help you find boarding for your animals, although they may not have enough funding to pay for it. I just wanted to state this so people reading this thread don't make promises to people who are considering working with a domestic violence agency. Each agency has different capabilities, and will work with its own resources to the best of its ability.

Barncat (and others who have posted), thank you for sharing your story with us. Please feel free to continue seeking support here.

Here are a couple numbers:

Nat'l Domestic Violence Hotline:
1 800 799 SAFE

Nat'l Suicide Hotline:
1 800 SUICIDE
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Snowbird

Schoolmaster

Join Date: May. 15, 1999

Posts: 12539

Location: The top of Schooley's Mountain, NJ
#188

Sep. 1, 2003, 02:18 PM

I too think it is possible that barncat is just scurrying around finding a place to live that will take her with the dogs. I would also guess that with the deadline approaching she is not thinking of us but that we will hear as soon as she gets settled.

I'm certain her family came through with whatever she needed to get some place safe.

Battle Scarred Veteran

http://www.usAHSA.org and http://www.noreinstatement.org
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barncat

Training Level

Join Date: Oct. 23, 2002

Posts: 32

Location: Whoville
#189

Sep. 1, 2003, 02:21 PM

I just want to thank all of you for your concern, it really means alot to me. I have spent the day figuring things out, and talking to a lawyer friend. He has to evict me, can't just throw me out. so im staying until he does that, maybe not the best idea, but it buys me time. Thanks again. I'll try to post again soon.
Comment
JulieMontgomery

Advanced

Join Date: Feb. 25, 2001

Posts: 1667
#190

Sep. 1, 2003, 02:58 PM

Glad you have "checked in", and that you are safe.

[i]\"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be wo
Comment
Snowbird

Schoolmaster

Join Date: May. 15, 1999

Posts: 12539

Location: The top of Schooley's Mountain, NJ
#191

Sep. 1, 2003, 06:27 PM

Good Girl! Like Ivana said don't get mad get even! and get the money!

Battle Scarred Veteran

http://www.usAHSA.org and http://www.noreinstatement.org
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$woudn\'tYOUliketoknow?$
woudn'tYOUliketoknow?

Working Hunter

Join Date: Mar. 4, 2002

Posts: 433
#192

Sep. 1, 2003, 06:30 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Snowbird:
Good Girl! Like Ivana said don't get mad get even! and get the money!

_Battle Scarred Veteran_<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

actually, i just watched First Wives Club, and it's "Don't get mad...get EVERYTHING!"
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o2binca

Working Hunter

Join Date: Feb. 8, 2003

Posts: 548
#193

Sep. 1, 2003, 06:58 PM

Good job Barncat - glad to hear you're looking out for yourself and finding out your rights and options - you are so worth it!!!

We all have times when life is overwhelming and we need others for support so please let us know what you need and what we can do to help.

There's lots of people here who care about you.

Take care of yourself.
Comment
June

Advanced

Join Date: Mar. 2, 2002

Posts: 1712
#194

Sep. 1, 2003, 07:21 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by barncat:
I just want to thank all of you for your concern, it really means alot to me. I have spent the day figuring things out, and talking to a lawyer friend. He has to evict me, can't just throw me out. so im staying until he does that, maybe not the best idea, but it buys me time. Thanks again. I'll try to post again soon.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you for checking in as I was very worried and I was not the only one. Having said that, can we all re-read what you have shared with us? Twice (and feel free to jump in and correct me)you attempted suicide and this SO said, in so many words, go ahead.

Very gently I say this, but why on earth are you staying there in that house, with that SO?

Girly girl (a phrase I use only with people female I care about) get out of there! Yesterday! You have dogs, horse, whatever...people on this board have given you options if it is "root hog or die".

Why on earth stay? Girly girl, you have to be the first person to say I matter, I am worthwhile, I have much to offer this world!!

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bycylce (and I <know> I butchered that spelling but this barncat gave me the heebee geebees for the last 48 hours.)

At the end of the day, <you> make the decisions. Can you take a step back and read your posts; you have tried suicide TWICE. You need to leave go of this SO and focus on the most important person in this world, whether or not you believe it...and that is YOU.

And just to create context I typed that an hour ago and lost my train of thought because a teen aged boy IM'd because he had an issue that couldn't wait until tomorrow. I'm sorry.

Barncat, you are no less and no more, special than anyone else. You need to remember that YOU are in control of your tomorrow. And I think that very important and that the world needs everyone who might feel empathy and you've learned it the hard way.

While you are surviving this catharthis, please continue to share and while we know you are busy, don't go (gently asked) another 24 without checking in...some of us are more fragile than others...I gotta go, there's a young man who needs to type. bye, June

\"The world\'s greatest achievements often happen on the edge of chaos\"
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marta

Schoolmaster

Join Date: Jun. 10, 2001

Posts: 8814

Location: nj
Original Poster
#195

Sep. 2, 2003, 05:39 AM

barncat~
((((hugs))) take care of yourself.
nothing else i can add at this point since you already received tons of priceless advice.

"It appears we are being transformed from an information
society to an informant society." Rep. Dennis Kucinich

http://www.eponashoe.com/
TQ(Trail Queen) \"Learn How to Ride or Move Over!!\" Clique
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USgrandprix

Working Hunter

Join Date: Apr. 24, 2003

Posts: 376
#196

Sep. 2, 2003, 07:10 AM

((((HUGS))))) Barncat. Here's hoping that today, and every day from now on are better than yesterday. Just take everything one day at a time and you'll get through it.

------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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barncat

Training Level

Join Date: Oct. 23, 2002

Posts: 32

Location: Whoville
#197

Sep. 3, 2003, 06:36 AM

He came home last night, professing his undying love, talked about marriage. I told him to shove it. He moved out this morning, and will not be back until i find a place to go. I feel so strong! But sick to my stomach. terrified of when this all finally hits me.
Comment
Janet

Schoolmaster

Join Date: Feb. 3, 2000

Posts: 36663

Location: Nokesville, VA
#198

Sep. 3, 2003, 06:48 AM

Good for you!

Janet
chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle, and Brain

Janet

chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).
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Bascule Baby

Working Hunter

Join Date: Jul. 2, 2003

Posts: 735

Location: Midwest, USA
#199

Sep. 3, 2003, 11:09 AM

Ditto!
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June

Advanced

Join Date: Mar. 2, 2002

Posts: 1712
#200

Sep. 3, 2003, 11:23 AM

ditto

\"The world\'s greatest achievements often happen on the edge of chaos\"
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