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Rehoming the Difficult Horse

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  • Original Poster

    #21
    Originally posted by CHSatwork View Post
    Where is she?
    She's near Portland, OR.

    Comment


    • #22
      Is your friend financially able to pay for hock injections and a month of Gastroguard, then 60 days with a professional trainer? My thoughts are ulcers or hock pain, based on your description. Then bad ground manners.

      If she is willing/able to do that, then I would see where she is at after that. If she is still the same, then I would euth. If she doesn't have the funds to do that, then euth would be kindest.

      Comment


      • #23
        I was the recipient of a re-homed "bad horse" -- getting up in years, bad manners, not trustworthy, big and strong and pushy, and then he went and injured himself, so he needed rehab to boot. The trainer wanted him out of the barn and the staff refused to deal with him anymore. His only saving grace was that he was a handsome devil. What can I say, I fell for a pretty face and four white socks.

        He has given me much joy over the past 5 years, despite his quirks and mental issues, and we have had lots of fun together! The backyard barn suits him a million times better than his very nice show barn. He has a home with me for life.

        So I guess I'm saying, it wouldn't hurt to see if maybe there is that "right person" out there for this horse - maybe someone who has known the horse and trainer over the years and wants to give her a shot.
        where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?

        Comment


        • #24
          My biggest problem with rehoming this horse is that the horse goes out of direct control of someone who can euth the horse BEFORE it injures SOMEONE ELSE, because she's already broken the OP's back.

          She's 18. She's an OTTB. She's close to Canada. See where she's headed??

          I'd keep her until your friend is gone. Then I'd send the mare over the bridge to meet her. We all like to believe that no one we know would send a horse to a sale that KBs attend, but one need only check the threads here to know that free lease horses 'disappear'. If you truly love your friend, ease her mind by saying the mare has a forever home with you and will never go to slaughter. You will not be lying.
          ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
          Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

          "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

          Comment


          • #25
            http://www.chronofhorse.com/forum/sh...umane-Solution

            my story.

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by birdistheword View Post
              The one thing we have going for us is that my friend has been a horse professional in this community for many years. There are many horse people that care for her and know what she is going through. My thought is to advertise the horse as a lawn ornament for those people, in hopes there's some competent person who wants to help out and has pasture space. I would of course be willing to take her back anytime. What are people's thoughts on this? Too risky?
              What do the other professionals think of this horse's chance at rehab? Is one willing to take her on and see with the promise that if it does not work she either becomes a pasture puff or be euthanized?

              Comment


              • #27
                You are a good friend, and I'm so sorry you're faced with this.

                My suggestion would be to test for lyme and other tick bourne illness, scope for ulcers, and see what you're up against.

                If she's negative on both, then I'd take her from your friend, then euth after her passing. If she's positive on either, I'd push to treat.

                Meanest horse I knew, and similarly nasty to ride turned out to have a titre of 1:40,000, and of course ulcers. Treatment made him an entirely different animal.

                Comment


                • #28
                  Maybe trub is a good idea. Can you have a 'meeting' of sorts with pros in the area to discuss the mare? If one of them is willing to take her on (with contract) and give it a shot then maybe it could be tried.

                  However, think of it this way. Are you going to sleep better knowing that she's been re homed and may break somebody else, or will it put your mind at rest knowing that you gave her a wonderful day and now she's snuggling with her Mommy on the other side of The Bridge? It's really hard not to feel badly about death, because, well, it's death. However, she will have no idea that it's coming. Horses don't have the same reservations about it that we do, because they don't have any idea of it.

                  You seem like a wonderfully kind, level headed person and I know that you will do the right thing by this mare and your friend. Still sending many many hugs and jingles your way.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    I love the idea of a "meeting" with other pros who might the interested or have additional ideas as it sounds like through knowing your friend they may be somewhat familiar with the mare and her issues and could be much more helpful in evaluating options for the mare.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      I dont think its a bad idea to talk to people about it. Just remember tho that decisions made in times of grief are not always the soundest ones, and regardless of what happens now, you or someone else WILL someday be facing this horses death. Sadly, nothing lives forever

                      I would add that when I was the OPs situation, the final straw ALMOST came too late, and it wad a trainwreck that involved LMEqT, 8 years old, (and myself) that brought her to her senses. She too was on the fence about a dangerous horse until she witnessed first hand an entirely preventable accident. It is only because of Nanny Pony that LMEqT stayed in the saddle. Everyone else hit the ground. The dangerous horse was euthanized shortly thereafter and everyone breathed a big sigh of relief.
                      "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
                      ---
                      The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Can you tell your friend that you will take her to give her piece of mind and then euthanize her after she passes?
                        No. Tell her the truth. If the owner can afford to pay retirement board at a retirement farm, let her make that choice. Otherwise she may agree to leave the decision in your hands after she is gone and trust you to make the right decision. Do not lie to her.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by birdistheword View Post
                          . My thought is to advertise the horse as a lawn ornament for those people, in hopes there's some competent person who wants to help out and has pasture space. I would of course be willing to take her back anytime. What are people's thoughts on this? Too risky?
                          I think with this approach you run a much greater risk of this horse having an ugly end at an auction lot, killer pen, trip to the slaughter house etc. Far kinder to the horse to be put down. Just tell your friend you are keeping her and put her down after your friend passes. She will be dead, won't know and won't care and it just won't matter. It would be the kindest thing for both the horse and your friend. Best of luck to you.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            I would say she doesn't sound like a candidate for rehoming either, though I understand how hard a decision this must be when you're also dealing with your friend's illness. If it were my choice, I would probably find a place to retirement board her, somewhere she can live out in a field and not have much human contact since she doesn't do well on the ground either.

                            And I agree with the person who says if she can't be ridden without pain and she has all of these issues, she's not a healthy horse. She might [i]appear[i] healthy to the naked eye, but she isn't.

                            And I'd like to think that if I were your friend's situation, I'd be happier knowing that a horse I cared about was cared for right up until her last bran mash and had absolutely no chance of being shipped over the border to Canada.
                            The Trials and Jubilations of a Twenty-Something Re-rider
                            Happy owner of Kieran the mostly-white-very-large-not-pony.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Wanted to add. I have a friend who was the recipient of a horse that was re-homed by the best friend of a woman who passed away. This horse was wonderful and my friend was very lucky to have her. The friend who was the "re-homer" had an understanding with my friend that if she could no longer keep the horse, "re-homer" woman would take her back.

                              My friend died in an accident. She was married to a horrible, asshole of a man whom *I* would call abusive - at the very least, he isn't kind to the animals in his care. Now the horse is with him and isn't *loved* the way the "re-homer" woman (or her deceased friend) would want. Mare is kept in the backyard and probably not fed enough, not blanketed well (lives outside), and not loved on like she was used to.

                              So, yes, technically "re-homing" friend did her job. Yes, mare went to a lovely woman who loved her. But lovely woman died and horrible husband has no desire to give horse back and I don't know that "re-homing" woman would have any recourse to get horse back (she gave my friend the papers).

                              Just saying that even if you do find a home for this horse, you cannot guarantee what will happen to it. Even someone with the best of intentions may fall on hard times or suffer an accident or illness themselves, etc.
                              My Mustang Adventures - Mac, my mustang | Annwylid D'Lite - my Cob filly

                              "A horse's face always conveys clearly whether it is loved by its owner or simply used." - Anja Beran

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                You would not be a good friend if you were not up front with the person who trusts you. Re-homing sets the horse on the downward spiral unless you can personally keep ownership or maintain contact with it....that is if a suitable home or rider can be found who would take care of the medical issues.

                                Sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot - decisions requiring moral courage are hard. No fun for you or her.
                                Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  I would think there is no harm in talking to other horsepeople and seeing if any good ideas emerge. If I were you I'd want to know I explored all reasonable options before putting down. Nothing may come of the brainstorming, but something may, and at a minimum perhaps it will lift a bit of the weight from your shoulders.

                                  I strongly feel that you should not lie to a dying person. You do not have to hit them over the head with bad news, but I agree that saying something like you will take care of the horse as long as you can and you will ensure it does not come to a bad end is probably enough to start.
                                  https://www.facebook.com/SugarMapleFarm
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                                  www.PeonyVodka.com

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    I'm sure that letting go of hope for this mare's future must seem like giving up on your friend. Can you have a loving conversation with your friend where you tell her that you will try to find a good situation for the mare but that if you cannot you will have her humanely put to sleep? Then talk with the other pros in the area, put the need out there and give it some time. I'm assuming that the horses are being taken care of for the time being. We never know what the future will bring. You probably don't have to make a decision right now nor should you. The emotions are far too intense. In time it may be a comfort to know that you protected this mare from ending up in a horrific situation just like your friend did. In the meantime maybe you could spoil the mare just a bit as your friend isn't able to.

                                    I would be so relieved to know that my horses were being looked out for by someone like you. You are doing a wonderful thing. I am so sorry for the pain you are suffering. You, your friend and her horses are in all of our hearts and minds.
                                    "The captive bolt is not a proper tool for slaughter of equids they regain consciousness 30 seconds after being struck fully aware they are being vivisected." Dr Friedlander DVM & frmr Chief USDA Insp

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster

                                      #38
                                      Originally posted by jetsmom View Post
                                      Is your friend financially able to pay for hock injections and a month of Gastroguard, then 60 days with a professional trainer? My thoughts are ulcers or hock pain, based on your description. Then bad ground manners.
                                      Unfortunately my friend has no money left, due to being unable to work. I have some money in savings that I could spend if I really thought it would give this horse a chance...but at the end of the day she's still an old horse with a history of behavior issues that may or may not be learned behaviors by now.

                                      Originally posted by Sansena View Post
                                      You are a good friend, and I'm so sorry you're faced with this.

                                      My suggestion would be to test for lyme and other tick bourne illness, scope for ulcers, and see what you're up against.

                                      If she's negative on both, then I'd take her from your friend, then euth after her passing. If she's positive on either, I'd push to treat.

                                      Meanest horse I knew, and similarly nasty to ride turned out to have a titre of 1:40,000, and of course ulcers. Treatment made him an entirely different animal.
                                      Sansena- We're in the PNW, which I believe has a low risk of Lyme. Horse has always been on the west coast. No one here really talks about or tests for Lyme like they do back east, although I have known people to find ticks on their horses. Do you think there is still any benefit to testing? Ulcers on the other hand...That's pretty likely in this horse.

                                      I have talked to several local pros who have seen her in action or worked with her (mainly dressage trainers). They have all said that there is something going on in her body pain-wise, and something going on in her head as well. A trainer who is a good friend of mine told me that the mare should only be ridden by a pro, but no pro would want to waste their time on her without getting paid (and I agree on that). Everyone's told me that the best thing is to find her a home as a pasture puff. In the past I've mentioned euthing her to people, and everyone seems surprised and a little horrified, which I don't understand. Good homes for lawn ornaments are few and far between.

                                      It's becoming more and more clear to me that I can't allow this horse to pass outside of my possession. When my friend is gone, I will be the only one left who cares about her (And let's be honest- even I don't like this horse; she's nasty, a handful, and she broke my back). If I don't step up for this horse , who will?

                                      I would not feel right about lying to my dying friend. I will tell her the truth, whatever that may be. I think the thing to do is for me to keep the horse, try and find a retirement/pasture board situation (I'll reach out to her friends and contacts and see if anyone can help me out with this, as there's not a lot of full-care pasture board at reasonable prices in my area), and care for her until my money runs out or she gets too uncomfortable. Then I will do the right thing, pump her full of carrots and cookies, scratch her withers and give her a dignified, human death.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Originally posted by birdistheword View Post
                                        Unfortunately my friend has no money left, due to being unable to work. I have some money in savings that I could spend if I really thought it would give this horse a chance...but at the end of the day she's still an old horse with a history of behavior issues that may or may not be learned behaviors by now.



                                        Sansena- We're in the PNW, which I believe has a low risk of Lyme. Horse has always been on the west coast. No one here really talks about or tests for Lyme like they do back east, although I have known people to find ticks on their horses. Do you think there is still any benefit to testing? Ulcers on the other hand...That's pretty likely in this horse.

                                        I have talked to several local pros who have seen her in action or worked with her (mainly dressage trainers). They have all said that there is something going on in her body pain-wise, and something going on in her head as well. A trainer who is a good friend of mine told me that the mare should only be ridden by a pro, but no pro would want to waste their time on her without getting paid (and I agree on that). Everyone's told me that the best thing is to find her a home as a pasture puff. In the past I've mentioned euthing her to people, and everyone seems surprised and a little horrified, which I don't understand. Good homes for lawn ornaments are few and far between.

                                        It's becoming more and more clear to me that I can't allow this horse to pass outside of my possession. When my friend is gone, I will be the only one left who cares about her (And let's be honest- even I don't like this horse; she's nasty, a handful, and she broke my back). If I don't step up for this horse , who will?

                                        I would not feel right about lying to my dying friend. I will tell her the truth, whatever that may be. I think the thing to do is for me to keep the horse, try and find a retirement/pasture board situation (I'll reach out to her friends and contacts and see if anyone can help me out with this, as there's not a lot of full-care pasture board at reasonable prices in my area), and care for her until my money runs out or she gets too uncomfortable. Then I will do the right thing, pump her full of carrots and cookies, scratch her withers and give her a dignified, human death.
                                        OP, if you decide to euth the horse, I would recommend you not tell your friend. You may feel that it's the right thing to do, to be honest, but step back and realise that this person is dying. She does not need any more pain or worry. There are sometimes where honesty is not necessarily the best path. Tell her what she needs to hear, that you love the horse and that you commit to looking after it and providing it with the best home possible. You don't need to say that that may only be a month and really, she does not need to hear that. Think about the impact of telling her the truth and the reality that unfortunately she is never going to know that you told her a white lie to ease her pain. It is not lying, it is just not giving details that you don't need to give. If you really think about why you want to tell her, maybe you will see that it's not to be honest to her, but to salve your own guilt or to get some confirmation from her that it's the right thing to do. This is not the time for that. Do the right thing and tell her that you will keep the horse and make sure it's happy. In fact, if it makes it easier for you, don't make any decision on the horse until after your friend has gone, that way you don't need to lie at all. Please seriously consider this.

                                        Best of luck, I feel for you, truly.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          Maybe someone on here could recommend a cheap retirement situation for her, even if it isn't in your immediate area? If she isn't high maintenance and doesn't need shoes, some of these places can work out quite well.

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