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Got screwed by a former trainer, now what do I do?

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  • Originally posted by goneriding24 View Post
    Sell the horse, trade the horse, keep the horse, but, criminy, make a decision and stick with it.
    It truly is that simple. The mind boggles at the inability of some people to process information and make a decision.

    By the by, I thought the OP was a very young person as I wondered at her inability to ignore her trainer and discuss the purchase directly with the breeder. Then I went back and re-read the OP and saw that this is a middle aged, grown woman......Good Lord.


    • Coth is funny. If someone posted this from the trainer's or breeder's point of view, I wonder how it would go then ....

      Would it still be poor poor boobycakes? Suddenly Hates her lovely easy to train wonderful temperament horse now - even fantasizes of glue factories and head removal ONLY because after 4 0r 5? yrs of training this lovely horse herself she just learned trainer may have misled her about guesses at eventual height of long yrling and was wrong by four inches


      What decent horse loving person even entertains those thoughts?


      • Originally posted by goneriding24 View Post
        I don't walk on eggshells for anyone and that means anyone. She and I might not synch, that's fine, others here are willing to deal a bit farther than I will. I'm not changing my ways of dealing with others to suit someone else's protected feelings. Believe me, I've come from a place very similar to her feelings, now I think it's just being a victim, which I refuse to do NOW.

        So, it might behoove her to get a grip, suck it up and deal with it. Sell the horse, trade the horse, keep the horse, but, criminy, make a decision and stick with it. Hopefully, the next horse she looks at, a bit of this episode will stick with her and she'll 'grill' the broker over what IS expected and what isn't. Victimhood isn't attractive.
        Not to mention I don't think you were saying 'getting flogged' was life, MAKING A BAD DECISION AND HAVING TO LIVE WITH IT is life. The OP was, taking her posts at face value, gullible, too trusting of an 'expert', forgot who holds the checkbook and therefore the cards in the client-trainer relationship (something, going by posts at least in H/J, a lot people do and consider it normal), and ended up with a horse who'd pretty much the ideal sale size and a warmblood but whom she isn't comfortable riding. As someone else said, compared to people who cannot feed their horses/themselves, this is the stereotypical 'first world problem.' At this point, even if there was deliberate PROVABLE fraud, suing the trainer is rather hopeless. OP is not the first person to end up with a horse where the options are 1. sell or 2. push out of their comfort zone to ride it. To me, using the OP's OWN WORDS, selling would be the best option. Not because I take seriously in any way the idea of doing a 'Godfather' on the trainer or consider it a sign the OP is some horrible abuser, but because the OP is clearly not comfortable with this horse and their ability to ride and learn would probably be better served by selling and buying a horse where they're mentally comfortable. For some people, the 'suck it up, buttercup, and ride what you have' is an okay strategy, for some people, it's not. The OP is lucky in the horse sounds like it's highly marketable as a green bean and given the size she wants generally is less marketable, she should be able to get enough to buy a new one.

        IF the trainer really did lead her on and make guarantees, yes, that was shady behavior (and I kind of wonder at a trainer who has a client who wants a specific size horse who DOESN'T say 'buy a mature animal' unless the client violently insisted on getting a baby.) Doesn't mean the rider should stick with a horse they find intimidating. At this point, moving on would be best, from the horse and the trainer.
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        • The OP deleted everything and presumably left the discussion two days ago and several pages back. Shouldn't this thread be allowed to die?


          • There was a post from another lady not too long ago who had bought a yearling (because a made horse of the same quality/breed would have been too expensive) and realised it was too much training (time/money wise) for her to handle. I wonder if it's the same person...
            ~ Enjoying some guac and boxed wine at the Blue Saddle inn. ~

            Originally posted by LauraKY
            I'm sorry, but this has "eau de hoarder" smell all over it.
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            • [QUOTE][The OP deleted everything and presumably left the discussion two days ago and several pages back. Shouldn't this thread be allowed to die? /QUOTE]

              I think the replies now are to those who are calling everyone who does not support the OP's views as big meanies.

              It's easy.If you don't want replies, stop posting.


              • a "non-horse friend"??? wth??


                • Originally posted by Tiffany01 View Post
                  a "non-horse friend"??? wth??
                  That's one way to get the advice you want rather than advice from knowledgeable horse people. lol.


                  • Originally posted by horsepoor View Post
                    The OP deleted everything and presumably left the discussion two days ago and several pages back. Shouldn't this thread be allowed to die?
                    This kind of thread doesn't die. It morphs into a zombie and must be KILLED!!!

                    Mangalarga Marchador: Uma Raça, Uma Paixão


                    • Originally posted by horsepoor View Post
                      The OP deleted everything and presumably left the discussion two days ago and several pages back. Shouldn't this thread be allowed to die?
                      Originally posted by Guilherme View Post
                      This kind of thread doesn't die. It morphs into a zombie and must be KILLED!!!

                      The Walking Equine Dead.

                      Actually, I think as long as someone has something to say, say it. Might be they think their thought will lend some good to the topic. She may be off this topic but may still be reading and learning something. D*ng it, I'm not coddling again!! HA!!
                      GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!


                      • Now I just read the title so I don't know the full story, but I'd recommend Plan B, a pregnancy test, and using protection next time. Not sure why this isn't over in Off Topic Day, but hey, if it's your first rodeo and you need a quick answer...


                        • Originally posted by bluebuckets View Post
                          Now I just read the title so I don't know the full story, but I'd recommend Plan B, a pregnancy test, and using protection next time. Not sure why this isn't over in Off Topic Day, but hey, if it's your first rodeo and you need a quick answer...

                          FOR THE WIN!
                          "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
                          The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


                          • he sounds like a really nice horse... if you can learn to accept his size, you guys have been together for a long time so you would probably be good partners
                            "I am going to teach you about men. Distances are like men. Never grab the first one you see; it's never the best one, and more will come along."-God himself, George Morris