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What is true need?

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  • Original Poster

    #41
    I have tried to explain from my first post starting this thread what I meant with this, that we have a discussion.
    I think we are doing just that, as we should, every time some change happens to COTH, here changing the parameters to determine who gets to post to ask for help, for their horses and themselves and others they know really are in dire straits.

    That's all, all else anyone wants to see in why I started this and if I do or don't want to help and why and how is pure guess, because few know where I have helped when I could.

    I didn't start this to disagree with helping, not to say some help is questionable in itself, but to have a place where we each one, within our experiences, speak our mind about this.

    Remember, we are not only helping horses, but the people that care for them.
    Some times, yes, helping the human is the best way to help the horses.

    I agree that the Moderators swiftly found a way to handle this request of a way to ask for and receive help.
    There is now the right place, designated just for that, how wonderful.

    I think helping where we can is what we have been doing all along, what we are doing, all of us, thank you.

    Comment


    • #42
      To me, someone in dire need is someone who is at the edge of taking thier own life, and asks for help on a BB. You have to be at the pit of despair to post your darkest demons in front of a critical crew.

      I think a lot of us have been in a dark place in our lives at one time, and most have someone they can fall back on. But some don't, and those people are in the greatest need. How do we help?

      Comment


      • #43
        Bluey, I think this thread is an important one and everyone will have their opinion about it. That's all right...it is what makes the world go round Thank you for bringing up an important topic to discuss. I have enjoyed reading this thread (I learned a lot, and considered what everyone said.)
        Certified Spiritual Medium/ Animal Communicator
        www.heatherevebristol.com
        www.meliorastables.net

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        • #44
          Well I was the orginal poster that made the suggestion on the OT forum, and the mods have given me permission to catalog and organize the posts on the thread in the giveaway forum.
          I do understand what you are saying Bluey, you are right we have all seen this type of thing go bad. I to have a story where I helped someone out from a BB, they told me they would pay me back and I never saw that money. This is why the suggestion I made was to connect local people. So that those people could more easily get information and make the decision for themselves if they want to help or not.

          Defining need is hard, does the craigslist starving pony need rescuing, probably, Am I going to give money to someone who can't afford the small amount that is probably being asked for that horse, No probably not. But if someone tells me they don't have food for their pony, dog, cat, themselves and I can afford to miss the money, yea I am going to probably send it on, hope it is used well and go on with life. If it is an on going need, that would send up a red flag for me, and I may be more inclined to go the education route then the send cash route.

          We all have our own threshold for need and for giving and it is a very personal thing to be on either end.
          www.michelesfindinghappiness.com

          Comment


          • #45
            Originally posted by MMacallister View Post
            Well I was the orginal poster that made the suggestion on the OT forum, and the mods have given me permission to catalog and organize the posts on the thread in the giveaway forum.
            I do understand what you are saying Bluey, you are right we have all seen this type of thing go bad. I to have a story where I helped someone out from a BB, they told me they would pay me back and I never saw that money. This is why the suggestion I made was to connect local people. So that those people could more easily get information and make the decision for themselves if they want to help or not.

            Defining need is hard, does the craigslist starving pony need rescuing, probably, Am I going to give money to someone who can't afford the small amount that is probably being asked for that horse, No probably not. But if someone tells me they don't have food for their pony, dog, cat, themselves and I can afford to miss the money, yea I am going to probably send it on, hope it is used well and go on with life. If it is an on going need, that would send up a red flag for me, and I may be more inclined to go the education route then the send cash route.

            We all have our own threshold for need and for giving and it is a very personal thing to be on either end.
            Your idea on networking within local areas is a good one; as all of you know, all horse people everywhere are part of local "grapevines," and "boots on the ground" are in a far better position to know with whom (and what) they are dealing than you can from thousands of miles away.

            Sometimes the situation is legit; sometimes it's locally notorious. If at least one local checks in with verification, that might avoid the good graces of generous COTH'ers being abused by "professional victims."

            Comment


            • #46
              Originally posted by Miss J View Post
              To me, someone in dire need is someone who is at the edge of taking thier own life, and asks for help on a BB. You have to be at the pit of despair to post your darkest demons in front of a critical crew.

              I think a lot of us have been in a dark place in our lives at one time, and most have someone they can fall back on. But some don't, and those people are in the greatest need. How do we help?
              start with a call to 911?

              seriously tho, 2/3's of the people I've asked, if they would, said NO!! I'm completely flabbergasted!! why not??

              Comment


              • #47
                Originally posted by gabby.gator View Post
                start with a call to 911?

                seriously tho, 2/3's of the people I've asked, if they would, said NO!! I'm completely flabbergasted!! why not??
                Me too! In that situation, with someone at the edge of taking their own life, the ONLY right answer is to call 911.

                Comment


                • #48
                  I can only do the best I can do in ascertaining the true need of someone.

                  I used 'Wish Upon a Hero' this Christmas (which my daughter had told me about), and it was difficult at first to pick a way to help a person I didn't know at all, and know the money would go for something necessary. So I searched for 'power', and found someone who was going to be disconnected. I was able to verify this through her power company, and able to pay on her bill that way. She said she was a widow with two kids, and since I have been there, that immediately made her stand out to me. Even if she wasn't, she was definitely going to be shut off. I don't know any more about her than that, but either way, she knows someone noticed and cared.

                  I know when I was in need, people probably judged me because I still had horses. But I was also working my a## off, to get out of where I was, put there by medical bills. And my horses nor my daughters were ever hungry. I never asked for anything, but I have never forgotten what it was like to be there, and the people who helped me out. Giving is so much easier than receiving.
                  We're spending our money on horses and bourbon. The rest we're just wasting.
                  www.dleestudio.com

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    I have to say,I strongly suggest making most monetary donations directly to a provider, like a vet, or a grocery gift card, gas card, etc.

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      I totally agree with LauraKy (Dang, I don't know that I've ever said that before...)
                      The Equine Wellness and Nutrition FB Group - Come join us!!
                      https://www.facebook.com/groups/equinewellness/

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