• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Izanalter Update?

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #41
    Thanks IZ for coming here. I have been really down and I do get some of what you are going through. Sometimes your partner thinks that they should be enough to make you happy, DH is still angry at me for becoming as depressed as I was in the mid 1990's after I lost a baby (even after having 2 later).

    Hope you are finding some way to cope.

    Comment


    • #42
      Originally posted by Freebird! View Post
      - Telling someone who is depressed, and or in the midst of grieving to "put on their big girl panties and suck it up" is not a help or an encouragement. It would be like me putting my 2 year old in a swimming pool, with out a life jacket, and screaming at her to "Swim!!"
      This! For sure this!

      Comment


      • #43
        I want to second, third, fourth - quintuple-whatever what Freebird! said. At my work, I see people much worse off than me everyday (financially, emotionally, physically - you name it). After being in controlling relationship though, I couldn't think of anyway out other than to kill myself. If someone had tried to say, "Listen, Ace, you think you have it bad? There are starving kids in <insert country>, so really, think of how good you have it." I didn't care. And when you get to the point of just. not. caring....that's a freaky place to be.

        Sometimes people don't have a reason for suffering from depression - it's a chemical thing. I'm not sure if that's where Iz is, but if so, please get thee to a doctor - I've been treated for depression - situational, but certainly provoked by a tendency towards the dark, which I imagine is chemical or hormonal imbalance, or perhaps a side effect of rheumatoid arthritis. I guess I just hope Iz asks for help when/where she needs it. And please, spare her the judgy-pants (not that I've seen it - just as a preventative measure). {{hugs}}

        ETA: I haven't read the full story on Iz, just caught this thread, so if I'm totally off-base, please ignore! Going to read OT now...
        Last edited by Ace; Jan. 3, 2013, 11:34 AM. Reason: explanation...

        Comment


        • #44
          Thank you for updating, IZ. Your friend needs a spankin'.

          I'm going to be popping something in the mail for you in the next few days, is that okay? Just a little something that someone gave me to get me through a rough time.

          Just keep chuggin'. You can do this! You're a horse person, after all.

          Comment


          • #45
            I read the other thread but not much of this one yet so please forgive me if it has been brought up before.

            The farm itself is a problem for Iz, the memories associated with it as well as the debt. If someone else were looking for a roommate that had horses and would allow Iz one or two or her own horses plus her dogs, that would take some burden off Iz. I"m not talking a free live in situation but a paid room/garage apartment, something like that.

            Iz wouldn't feel like a freeloader and wouldn't have to give up all her horses. Being off the farm with all it's memories and keeping some of her animals would/could help her start on the path to recovery.

            I do think the medical problems are a big part of how she is feeling so hopefully would be seeking medical help as well.

            I think we can help Iz get through this crisis without loosing everything.

            Comment


            • #46
              Bumping up. Let's us know what you need or who need to sell Iz, and we'll see what we can do.

              Comment


              • #47
                The horses that Iza has on the giveaways forum look great. Anyone would be lucky to get one of them.

                Comment


                • #48
                  Thank you to all of you for your kindness, once again. I have had inquiries- mostly looking for beginner lesson horses, and these horses are not suited to that kind of work. Ideally, I would love for each of them to have their own person.

                  Here is the current list- I do have one young horse here who belongs to someone else, and needs to be sold, or returned to the owner. They sent him here to be trained and sold, and I have worked with him, and he is wonderful. Please PM me for information. I do not want to make this an ad for a sale horse.

                  The horses in need of homes I am hoping to place in the next two weeks, as in have them off of the farm, and into great loving homes. I have pictures that I can email. No video.

                  1. 1997 16.1 Hand chestnut gelding Big boned and warmbloody build. Broke to walk, trot and canter. Loves to work, incredible work ethic and great sense of humor. Kind, quiet and not spooky, he would love to be a trail horse, or lower level dressage horse. Received a score of 70.3% from Hilda Gurney, in hand, and beat and approved warmblood stallion in the process. Loads, clips, ships. Barefoot with fabulous feet. Alpha in the pasture- not mean, just tells them how it will be.

                  2. 1996 15.1 hand chestnut mare. Big built, very correct, with a gorgeous head and eye on her. This mare is kind, honest, and forward, without being rushy or quick. Big motor- but a super mind. Doesn’t spook, or buck, ever. Needs an intermediate or better rider, with finesse, as she doesn’t need to be grabbed in the mouth, or have someone unbalanced ride her. Talented enough to show, with three lovely gaits. She does have sweet itch, and comes with a brand new fly sheet for the next season. This mare is anxious in cross ties for the first several days she is back in work. Work her three days in a row, and she is a champ. Always kind under saddle- whether she has been in work, or not. Healthy with fabulous feet. Would also be great on trails, and the road never gets to long for her- she'd kill herself rather than quit on you. Therefore, she needs an experienced home.

                  3. 1995 16.3 hand seal brown gelding. Wonderful to work with on the ground, will give big licky kisses, and is stunningly beautiful. Won his in hand class at DAD three years in a row. Beautiful feet, and the easiest keeper ever. He is broke to ride, but is a whole lot of horse, with an enormous spook. An OK walk, stunning trot, and world class canter. Would be best suited as a pasture mate, unless you are very, very talented. Easiest horse on the ground, ever.

                  4. 1997 16.0 chestnut gelding. The world’s sweetest horse- bar none. Absolutely adorable, and an air fern, with amazing feet. Great horsie baby sitter- not mean, but does not tolerate anyone being nasty around him. Built like a truck, and as kind as he can be. Pasture ornament, only.

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    I never read the Off-topic day posts, so sort of backed into this after the fact.

                    Iza, good to hear you are coping with a very heart-rending situation and have been offered assistance.
                    It's a real world, with real pain.
                    You can do this tough situation; because you have to.

                    "Falling down ain’t falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor"
                    - Alicia Keys

                    "A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."
                    - Eleanor Roosevelt

                    Just hoping to cheer you on.

                    The only advice I have is take a tennis ball and one of your dogs outside; get moving and play until you are smiling and laughing. Then return to dealing with the tough stuff again. Rinse, repeat.

                    Go, girl!

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Hi Iz.

                      Happy to see you post.

                      Your horses are beautiful.

                      Hope you are getting some sunshine in PA.
                      Here in KY it was really dreary for almost a week and now the sun is out and everybody's mood is also brighter.
                      ************************
                      \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Originally posted by Freebird! View Post
                        As someone who has been through a fair share of crap lately, I wanted to point a few things out...

                        - Telling someone who is depressed, and or in the midst of grieving to "put on their big girl panties and suck it up" is not a help or an encouragement. It would be like me putting my 2 year old in a swimming pool, with out a life jacket, and screaming at her to "Swim!!"

                        - Just because someone's perception of their situation may not be spot on, it doesn't make it any less painful for them. Their reality is their reality.

                        - Grieving is a very personal thing. Just because you have been trained in XXXX or have dealt with ZZZZ does NOT mean that you know how YYYY feels, or even how to handle their situation.

                        - Trying to "one up" someone who is in a crappy situation, also does not help. Pain is pain, and it always hurts.
                        Bless this post. This is so true.

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          WHAT?????

                          Is it just me or is this not strange?

                          I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

                          People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

                          I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

                          I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

                          Am I the only one who feels this way?

                          Comment


                          • #53
                            Agree but I am dealing with a depressed friend and its like a black hole. Hard to understand at times but she is just not able to reach out or able to be appreciative.


                            Another option-- appearing calm while still planning suicide.

                            Or it was never as bad as written and its some sort of fabrication but I'm inclined to believe Iz.

                            Or just not wanting to share anymore...

                            At any rate, wishing Iz all the best. Thanks for checking in.

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              She's said thank you a million times, what else do you want?

                              Comment


                              • #55
                                From what I know of IZ, it took a really low day to write what she did in OT and reach out for empathy and consolation. She is one tough lady. She doesn't usually "do" empathy unless it's for a horse. And I also know that the facts were pretty straight.

                                I, for one, am glad to see her acting more like her usual self. It looks like this might have at least jump started the rehoming of several nice horses and given her a little better footing to start off the new year.
                                Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  I know that she has PMd a number of posters back that have offered to help. Likely she privately thanked them there too.
                                  Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)

                                  Comment


                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by Noodles View Post
                                    Is it just me or is this not strange?

                                    I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

                                    People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

                                    I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

                                    I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

                                    Am I the only one who feels this way?
                                    COTH: When you just can't get enough "barn drama."

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      Originally posted by Noodles View Post
                                      Is it just me or is this not strange?

                                      I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

                                      People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

                                      I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

                                      I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

                                      Am I the only one who feels this way?
                                      would you prefer somebody chiming in, telling us she put her head in the oven?

                                      For now she is putting her best foot forward. There is work yet unfinished.

                                      It was during the Christmas OT week, I think we have all gotten the memo by now that the happiest holidays do come with a lot of heart ache and suicides.

                                      I don't generally get upset when somebody causes no real harm while making up a story, there are untold numbers of lurkers at any given time. Maybe the collective outpour helped somebody else, who was not nor ever will be on our radar.

                                      Oh, and one can put a brave face forward for the few moments it takes to post. It's not like we get to see the baggy PJs and the bed hair at 3 in the afternoon...

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        Iz, I am thinking about you. You have had one heck of a load dumped on your shoulders.

                                        I hope you can see someone about supplemental hormones soon. I thought after a hysterectomy that was a must? I'm sorry that it seems not all of your dr's have done right by you.

                                        One little saying that plays through my head when I read what you are going through is "you can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails." I hope you can slowly trudge through some of these issues piece by piece, and you may be surprised how suddenly things can start to correct themselves.

                                        You will certainly be in my thoughts
                                        Erin and
                                        Instant Karma "Sunny", ShineDown "Liam"

                                        "You can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails."

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by Noodles View Post
                                          Is it just me or is this not strange?

                                          I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

                                          People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then i/"
                                          za responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

                                          I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

                                          I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

                                          Am I the only one who feels this way?
                                          Im sorry but I don't think this poster has much experience with people with depression or hormone disorders. Iz made her intentions clear, then well meaning people called 911 on her. Now she knows that this forum is not going to just be a listening ear, but try to help also. My guess is that she does not want help (in the form of avoiding suicide), so she has decided to put on the bold front here and continue with her plans for settling her affairs. That way she avoids another call from the authorities.

                                          If anyone is close and able to actually stop in to see her, I think that would be great. I am in Calif so not at all close, but if I was, I would be very tempted to drop by with cookies and cocoa. Chocolate solves all problems (at least temporarily) supposedly.

                                          Frankly this situation has me terrified for Iz, as I think the people who are most likely to follow thru on suicide are the ones who can be calm, and competent, and look like they are carrying on when down inside the planning continues. And I have no great suggestions for how to convince her that staying in this world is better. Does she have any family who can come together for an intervention? She is TOO CALM in her recent posts. JMHO.

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X