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I lost my heart horse in a pasture accident and my heart is broken.

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  • I lost my heart horse in a pasture accident and my heart is broken.

    I found my 22 year old gelding with a broken shoulder in the pasture yesterday. I owned him 20 years and he was one of my best friends. He was out with the same two horses he has been out with forever. I feel so guilty because I always try to keep them safe. We have safe fencing, a flat pasture...I am just so sick right now. No one will be able to fill the hole he has left in my heart. I have 2 other horses and am so nervous to let them back out out, it makes me want to throw up. He was surrounded by love and family and friends and went peacefully. I am having him cremated and returned to me and my husband and friends are handling that now. I can not bare to go back up there now...but I know i have two other horses and two barn cats who need me.

    I got him when I was 18 years old and I just can't imagine not seeing his face everyday.

    I am a vet tech and help people through this everyday and I know life always ends, but this hurts so much. I have an appointment with a dr this afternoon to get some anti-depressants, this is going to be a long haul.

    Thank you for listening. It helps to share with other horse people.

  • #2
    I am so very sorry
    \"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.\" Anne of Green Gables


    • #3
      I am so sorry {Hugs} to you...it is heartbreaking when we have no warning
      Certified Spiritual Medium/ Animal Communicator


      • #4
        I'm very sorry. That is one of my worst fears.


        • #5
          I'm so sorry for your loss.


          • #6
            I am so sorry for your loss.


            • #7
              I am so sorry. I can imagine how devastated you feel. Freak accidents happen no matter how careful we are. This was not your fault.
              A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

              Might be a reason, never an excuse...


              • #8
                I am so very sorry.

                I'm sure people are saying (but it helps to remind yourself over and over) that sometimes things just happen, no matter what you do. There was nothing that you could have done to prevent this accident. You provided a safe and loving life for your boy, and what a lucky boy he was for having had that. He was lucky to have you and I'm sure he felt every day the love you had and showed for him.

                Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the pain is replaced with wonderful and warm memories in the coming weeks. Happy Trails to your boy. And peace and comfort to you and all that loved him, Beckham.
                "Aye God, Woodrow..."


                • #9
                  I'm so very sorry. I lost my Bluey this summer to a pasture accident...they are so strong, yet so fragile. He was my heart horse too. The pain becomes more dull over time, but it never leaves.



                  • #10
                    I'm also sorry. Pasture accidents suck, colic sucks, old age sucks... I hope you get some relief from the anti-depressants, and from the presence of your other animals, family, etc.


                    • #11
                      I fear the day I join the losing the heart horse club. If you are lucky enough to be blessed with a heart horse it is inevitable that you lose them at some point. Guess it's the price of admission. That price is enormous but boy is it worth it. Godspeed.
                      McDowell Racing Stables

                      Home Away From Home


                      • #12
                        So very sorry for your loss. Grief is the price we pay for love.
                        What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


                        • #13
                          I'm so sorry. Let go of your guilt if you can. You did nothing wrong. You gave him a wonderful, long life.
                          Donald Trump - proven liar, cheat, traitor and sexual predator! Hillary Clinton won in 2016, but we have all lost.


                          • #14
                            Hugs. Losing a heart horse is devastating. He will always live on in your heart, though. Freak accidents are just that --- doesn't make it any easier, and I know it's impossible to not blame yourself right now. You gave him a wonderful life.


                            • #15
                              Hugs! and Godspeed your guy over the Bridge. May all your memories help fill
                              the hole in your heart.


                              • #16
                                Sometimes, there are small blessings, even in these things

                                He wasn't failing, he was out being a horse, with his buds, he didn't suffer.

                                You weren't faced with the "How will I know, will he tell me?" questions.

                                You didn't have to make a decision based on finances or weather.

                                You loved him well and he you. To "grow up " with one special horse is such a wonderful thing, how blessed and lucky you are to have known him, that one special horse that we all have as young women who steal our heart and you got to keep him forever, or at least the short forever we get with them.

                                He's young and healthy, when your time is done here, you'll see him again as he was and you were when you were that bright eyed teenager.

                                He'll never be out of your heart, this much, I know.


                                • #17
                                  Well said, 2ndyr.

                                  I am so sorry, OP, accidents happen, life happens. I am glad you had him and sorry you lost him.


                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by 2ndyrgal View Post
                                    He wasn't failing, he was out being a horse, with his buds, he didn't suffer.

                                    You weren't faced with the "How will I know, will he tell me?" questions.

                                    You didn't have to make a decision based on finances or weather.

                                    You loved him well and he you. To "grow up " with one special horse is such a wonderful thing, how blessed and lucky you are to have known him, that one special horse that we all have as young women who steal our heart and you got to keep him forever, or at least the short forever we get with them.

                                    He's young and healthy, when your time is done here, you'll see him again as he was and you were when you were that bright eyed teenager.

                                    He'll never be out of your heart, this much, I know.
                                    This, a thousand times. He knew he was loved, he was with his friends, and you can rejoice in spending a full life with him. Think of all he has taught you, first as a young horse and then as a senior.
                                    He was met at the Bridge by a proud bay OTTB, my heart horse, my Big Horse, who left us suddenly a week ago today.
                                    Gallop on, boys, you are loved by us and always remembered.
                                    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
                                    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique


                                    • #19
                                      I am so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.

                                      I have lost two 20-ish horses due to severe shoulder injuries, and in both cases I actually witnessed what happened --- and it was a spontaneous occurence. With one horse, he was an early 20s gelding who was gently cantering in from pasture. I watched him as I happened to be standing there. He was on flat ground with no holes when suddenly he just stopped and could not move. His scapula had fractured. The other horse was rolling in pasture, and when he got up it was apparent he'd had a severe shoulder injury. He was fine a moment before. I had to put him down, and sent him for a necropsy. Necropsy showed that he was full of melanomas, and several were located in the muscles around the scapula and had caused the muscle to tear away from it. In either case, it was just a spontaneous injury and there had been no trauma, just a horse enjoying a normal life. Both horses were fine one minute, and not fine the next. I wanted to pass this on and hope my experience gives you a bit of a comfort.


                                      • #20
                                        I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved older mare a few days ago on Christmas Eve in a pasture accident....a kick that broke her femur. I can relate to your feelings of guilt, but have come to accept that without a crystal ball we are all doing the best we can for our horses. ((((Hugs))))