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Folks, it's time for another Craig's List Face-Palm Just in time for Christmas

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  • Folks, it's time for another Craig's List Face-Palm Just in time for Christmas

    Without benefit of any punctuation whatsoever...I present the stream of consciousness ad:

    Bay mare about 15 hands tall 3white socks she rides pulls/ drives bn on many trails love valley uarie Troy lumber river centerville wiperwill mule day farmers day and many many more I have to many now have to cut back moving to a smaller place her name is fancy she needs a good home she s a great all around horse she rides around traffic mule day long or short trail rides crosses ditches water also has a great temperament towards other horses get along with people once u get to know her and she u I rescued her from a man who did nothing with her but not take care of her again she is a really great horse has a lot of training on her she needs a good home she has been ridden by as young as a 11 yr old my doughtier has bn the 1 who has bn ridding her lately so for more info about her or a pic call me at 910-XXXX or txt me and I'll send u 1,,,,,,,,,, as I posted this with my I pad and did not have a hook up tp upload a pic so if ur interested I'll send u 1 plz I ask serious inquires only plz if ur interested n her contact me and we will seriously talk I need to find her a home very very very soon thanks hope u have a merry christmas

  • #2
    I head hurts.

    Comment


    • #3
      Someone was channeling William Faulkner....and failed.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hard to translate, but sounds like someone could have a lovely little trail horse if they can read the ad...

        Comment


        • #5
          I got the part where she wishes us a merry christmas .

          What in the world does this mean? ----> she rides around traffic mule day long
          <><

          Comment


          • #6
            They're abounding here in the South:

            I have a Draft X gelding that I would like to find a home. He is easy to catch, mount, ride, trim and stands stock still for the vet. He is a big boy and I think he is 16 yrs old. I have just had his vet visit for the year so he has a new coggins test and has been vaccinated. He is a little under weight but not terrible. He would do best as the only horse (the other horses beat him up) or in a place where he rides out in a group setting. He rides good alone but perfers to be in a group. We have had to put him and the other horses up in the round pen for the pastures to be planted and they are all beating him up. He is $XXX firm if you come and pick him up. If I have to "Show" him (take my time to ride, talk and be otherwise inconvenienced) he will be $XXX. I just don't have time to be bothered right now.

            *****************

            Well, there ya go. Difference between buying him as is versus being shown to you &, thereby inconveniencing the owner, is $400
            <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
              They're abounding here in the South:

              I have a Draft X gelding that I would like to find a home. He is easy to catch, mount, ride, trim and stands stock still for the vet. He is a big boy and I think he is 16 yrs old. I have just had his vet visit for the year so he has a new coggins test and has been vaccinated. He is a little under weight but not terrible. He would do best as the only horse (the other horses beat him up) or in a place where he rides out in a group setting. He rides good alone but perfers to be in a group. We have had to put him and the other horses up in the round pen for the pastures to be planted and they are all beating him up. He is $XXX firm if you come and pick him up. If I have to "Show" him (take my time to ride, talk and be otherwise inconvenienced) he will be $XXX. I just don't have time to be bothered right now.

              *****************

              Well, there ya go. Difference between buying him as is versus being shown to you &, thereby inconveniencing the owner, is $400
              This owner sounds like a real gem.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                He is $XXX firm if you come and pick him up. If I have to "Show" him (take my time to ride, talk and be otherwise inconvenienced) he will be $XXX. I just don't have time to be bothered right now.
                So I guess what we really need here is the meat truck
                ::With age comes wisdom. Apparently "wisdom" weighs about 40 pounds.::

                Comment


                • #9
                  Here's one from Eugene, OR craigslist. Please people, make sure you use the right words and if it's not too much to ask, spell check. I started to highlight all of the errors, but there were so many I decided to just highlight the funniest one.

                  Hi i have a 7 year old horse for partial lease. Her name is Pearl. Pearl is sound and very well trained and tempered. She can be ridden any were ( arena, beach, trails ...) Pearl has been a pleasure and a competition horse, she knows barrels, key hole, flags, pole bending, dobbing, team pinning, all of that stuff. She is a fast horse that love to run, but she is also a horse that is awesome with little ones and she can tell the difference in someone who can't ride and someone who can, She knows when its ok to go fast and when she needs to be slow and genital. Pearl is a perfect horse for ages 8 and up. The lease will consist of her board and feed 280.00 per month plus $35 which you will pay to the farrier every 8-10 weeks or so to have her feet trimmed. I you are wanting to do trail ride then shoes are preferred. You will also be responsible for injury if an accident were to happen on you time. Pearl is at Jasper Hills Arena and this is where you would come to ride. It has a big indoor arena with good lighting. There are trails every were that are open to riders also we have a huge hey pasture you can ride in. The barn is off the road and is a wonderful place to board. Also there is a in door round pin with sand footing. We also hope that this summer the out door arena will be ready for use. Pearl is keep indoor during the winter months so she is clean and soft. She has her own stall and clean bedding so little grooming is needed which is cool because that means more riding time. If she is to get dirty the barn has a hot wash rack. The tack is part of the lease so she has everything you need to ride safe and comfortably. If Pearl sounds like the horse for you please call 541-852-xxxx any time.
                  It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.
                  Theodore Roosevelt

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Ads like that I typically barely make it pass the first line and then go on to the next ad. The seller is only doing the horse a disservice. If they are really that bad at writing they should have a friend or family member proof read.
                    Maggie Bright, lovingly known as Skye and deeply missed (1994 - 2013)
                    The Blog

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I translated this into something a little more intelligible, leaving her wording and shifting things about a bit.
                      Bay mare about 15 hands tall, 3white socks. Her name is Fancy. She rides, pulls and drives. Been on many trails - Love Valley, Uarie, Troy, Lumber River, Centerville, Whipoorwill, Mule Day, Farmers Day, and many, many more. She's a great all around horse - she rides around traffic, Mule Day, long or short trail rides. She crosses ditches and water. Has a great temperament towards other horses, gets along with people once you get to know her. I rescued her from a man who did nothing with her and did not take care of her. Again she is a really great horse and has a lot of training on her. She needs a good home. She has been ridden by as young as a 11 yr old. My daughter has been the one who has been riding her lately.

                      I have too many now and have to cut back. Moving to a smaller place. She needs a good home. For more info about her or a pic call me at 910-XXXX or txt me and I'll send you one. As I posted this with my iPad and did not have a hook up to upload a pic so if you're interested I'll send one. Serious inquires only, please. If you're interested in her contact me and we will seriously talk. I need to find her a home very, very, very soon. Thanks, hope you have a merry Christmas.
                      StG

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Incredible work with Mule Day StG... I could have stared at this all the mule day long and never figured it out!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          North Carolina craigslist entertained me for DAYS immediately following the most recent rib incident. Hard b/c it made me laugh and that hurt....

                          Gotta love me some craigslist!! It's like the script from Lizard Lick Towing!! lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                            They're abounding here in the South:

                            I have a Draft X gelding that I would like to find a home. He is easy to catch, mount, ride, trim and stands stock still for the vet. He is a big boy and I think he is 16 yrs old. I have just had his vet visit for the year so he has a new coggins test and has been vaccinated. He is a little under weight but not terrible. He would do best as the only horse (the other horses beat him up) or in a place where he rides out in a group setting. He rides good alone but perfers to be in a group. We have had to put him and the other horses up in the round pen for the pastures to be planted and they are all beating him up. He is $XXX firm if you come and pick him up. If I have to "Show" him (take my time to ride, talk and be otherwise inconvenienced) he will be $XXX. I just don't have time to be bothered right now.

                            *****************

                            Well, there ya go. Difference between buying him as is versus being shown to you &, thereby inconveniencing the owner, is $400
                            That one is only about twenty miles from me, I have actually looked at the ad several times. If my pony sells today my son and I might show up there with the trailer and at least have a look.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              This one is local to me, and sad, not funny.

                              I have a healthy beautiful black thorough breed female. She is 17 months old. I love her however when I bought her I was told she was trained to ride, she is not. We have tryed to mount her she freaked out. Perhaps because she is not use to it. Or perhaps because she is so young. However the good is that she is still young, Very smart, very pretty and She seems to get along with are much older horse quiet well. I am asking $350 for her to get back some of the money I have put into her. As well Christmas is coming and I need the money for my children for christmas. (Buying her, as well as feed and hay. I can not transport sorry. I believe she would do much better at a farm where she is cared for by someone who has the time and skills to train her. As well as have lots of times to spend time with her. Serious enquiries only please. (865)964-9214 , Thank you.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by katyb View Post
                                This one is local to me, and sad, not funny.

                                I have a healthy beautiful black thorough breed female. She is 17 months old. I love her however when I bought her I was told she was trained to ride, she is not. We have tryed to mount her she freaked out. Perhaps because she is not use to it. Or perhaps because she is so young. However the good is that she is still young, Very smart, very pretty and She seems to get along with are much older horse quiet well. I am asking $350 for her to get back some of the money I have put into her. As well Christmas is coming and I need the money for my children for christmas. (Buying her, as well as feed and hay. I can not transport sorry. I believe she would do much better at a farm where she is cared for by someone who has the time and skills to train her. As well as have lots of times to spend time with her. Serious enquiries only please. (865)964-9214 , Thank you.
                                not Craigslist, but saddest ad ever

                                http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-664402
                                One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Originally posted by mrs.smith View Post
                                  not Craigslist, but saddest ad ever

                                  http://www.equinenow.com/horse-ad-664402
                                  WHAT?!!! NOOOOOO!
                                  "Aye God, Woodrow..."

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Oh. My. God. You are not kidding... I am entertaining myself thinking of ways I would like to torture that 6'4" BEAST who thinks it's OKAY, even desirable, no less, to be riding that poor baby. Make him run 10 miles with a 100 lb. backpack? Or better yet, how about his preschooler?

                                    "Will make 14'3" at least?" Really? Heck, she's probably shrinking from carrying your stupid @ss around!

                                    I know these racking horses are popular in certain parts and that people start 'em young. "Everyone does it" wisdom prevailing and all. But THIS... I guess it's the same sort of vision that allows people to look at horses in their pasture at BCS 1 or 2 and pronounce that they "might be a little skinny but they're ok." ARRRGGHHH!
                                    "Horses lend us the wings we lack." ~ Pam Brown

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Originally posted by Calena View Post
                                      I got the part where she wishes us a merry christmas .

                                      What in the world does this mean? ----> she rides around traffic mule day long
                                      Sadly, I understand exactly what she means.

                                      The horse can go to Mule Days in Benson, NC - a place with legendary crowds, noise, and craziness - and be ridden all day long without a problem.
                                      I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Originally posted by Calena View Post
                                        I got the part where she wishes us a merry christmas .

                                        What in the world does this mean? ----> she rides around traffic mule day long
                                        I am guessing:She is safe on the road around traffic. Has done long or short trail rides. Has been at the local Mule Day event.

                                        She rides around traffic, Mule Days, long or short trail rides.....

                                        Just a wild guess.
                                        Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)

                                        Comment

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