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Pregnant and not sure what to do. :(

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  • Original Poster

    #41
    Originally posted by talkofthetown View Post
    I have not ever been preggers, so I can only give hugs, but for the depression/fatigue...Can you do non-chemical things, like yoga, painting, hypnosis, etc? I'm not familiar with all the options, but I know that nowadays they'll turn just about anything into a therapy session. NOT to minimize clinical depression, but these things might "cheer you up", for lack of a better phrase. Until after you deliver, and can get on some actual meds.

    Good luck!!!
    Exercise usually helps, when I'm not too tired to do it. I am considering taking Restorative Yoga classes. I remember taking one intro class (general yoga) at the local YMCA a few years back, and somehow, midway into the class, I got this sense of euphoria and well being that I hadn't had in a long time..and it was more profound, more "deep" than ever. I'm at a loss to describe it properly but it was amazing. I believe the Eastern disciplines, whether yoga, acupuncture/acupressure, and meditation, carry a lot more weight than most people think. They address the mind/body connection, which modern medicine tends to neglect. Yes, I definitely need to pursue this. Thanks for reminding me.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      #42
      Originally posted by S1969 View Post
      Of course someone has to throw in the over-populated world part again. Geez. She has choices, of course. Please don't tell her to have an abortion to save you from overpopulation. And that anyone with a medical problem shouldn't have children - how generous of you.

      Just a note about daycare, though...my younger dd went to the most fabulous daycare. They were so wonderful to her, to us, and it was just the best, ever. I dropped her off every day without a care in the world....boy I miss them, even though she is 11 now. There are good daycare centers, babysitters, nannys, etc. out there.
      Thank you. I was slightly offended by her post, being so flippant about abortion, a subject which I happen to take VERY seriously. And bringing up the "world is overpopulated" dogma..actually what has been happening for 100+ years is people have been moving from their agrarian lifestyles in the countryside into the cities, which ARE overpopulated. The whole country/world isn't overpopulated. But that's a whole 'nother topic. And I am not the first woman who has a medical problem to get pregnant. It's not like I have diabetes or cancer; it's fatigue. Bothersome to me, but not risky to my health or the child's.

      Comment


      • #43
        Originally posted by alter84 View Post
        Anyway I have depression/anxiety and chronic fatigue (never got a proper diagnosis for the chronic fatigue despite extensive bloodwork, multiple times with different drs, so I assume it's related to the depression.) And as much as I love working as I stated before, and obviously riding, it takes everything in me just to be on my feet for 6 hours, or to groom, tack up and ride ONE horse. I can't imagine what it will be like to chase around a toddler all day. No, I can't take medicine for my emotional issues because I don't want to risk hurting the fetus, and I plan to breastfeed for at least one year if I'm able. Just have to find other ways to cope for awhile longer I guess. I'm trying to get some exercise daily to help with the depression but I'm just sooo tired. I even skipped out on the barn the other day which is unheard of-I always ride whenever I have the opportunity. Being exhausted 24/7 is no fun, especially when you're in your 20's. I don't know what the answer is. I'm in tears now.
        What you describe is pretty much how I felt for years before realizing that I have rather severe gluten intolerance.Try a serious attempt at gluten free for a month (it takes some work) you might find your "depression" is not what you think it is.

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        • Original Poster

          #44
          Originally posted by Valentina_32926 View Post
          Wendy is providing a look at the other side of the coin - the OP does have options.

          OP - Your hormones are going wild, so why not look logically.
          Create 2 Lists - Pros and Cons.
          Then list the good and bad things under the appropriate column - good things should include feelings like "I want a baby" or "I would feel guilty if I aborted this child after loosing the last one" - as ONLY you can decide what is right and what is wrong (for you).

          Hubby "owns" half this child so once your list is done combine it with his list. When you ask him to make a list make certain to tell him to NOT say what he thinks you want to hear. That way the list is "true" thoughts/feelings/etc.

          Then let the list help you guide your decision. At the least the Pros and Cons ach of you write down can be discussed - and a good discussion is what you need at the moment.

          Before I got married DH and I had such a talk - he thought I wanted children. I surprised him when I told him I HAD to have animals and didn't really care one way or the other about having children. BUT - if I had kids - it was no more than 2 MAX and no natural childbirth crap - knock me out and wake me up when the kids are out.
          Thank you. We have been talking about it and he has been clear from the beginning that he feels it's MY decision, and he supports me whatever I choose. I could not ask for a more supportive partner, honestly. He has held me while I've cried and told me he's sorry for my pain and not batted an eye about me being lazy around the house lately because I'm so darn tired. It's clear to me what HE prefers, since he was so keen to make this baby in the first place. But he is not forcing me to continue the pregnancy if I don't want to or feel I can't. I was scared to admit that I did look at some local abortion providers' websites just to explore my options, but he wasn't angry at all. He just asked me questions about what I read. I am so blessed to have someone I can be so honest and open with!

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          • Original Poster

            #45
            Originally posted by sketcher View Post
            What you describe is pretty much how I felt for years before realizing that I have rather severe gluten intolerance.Try a serious attempt at gluten free for a month (it takes some work) you might find your "depression" is not what you think it is.
            Thanks, sketcher. I have noticed that going gluten-free helps me somewhat, more my moods than the fatigue. There was actually a study done with Schizophrenic patients. One group cut out gluten from their diet, while the other group remained the same. Guess which one was able to drastically reduce or eliminate medication? When I read that, I was stunned. Schizophrenia is a very serious disease, and the fact that one dietary change made such a difference..! Most of my family/acquaintances think I'm crazy, but I KNOW it helps things. Not 100%, but enough to make it worth it.

            Comment

            • Original Poster

              #46
              Originally posted by jn4jenny View Post
              As for your chronic fatigue, I mention this only because you said the cause seems unclear and we're on a horse forum where most folks here have taken a bad fall...I used to work with a forensic psychiatrist who, among other things, testified in a lot of civil cases regarding traumatic brain injury and its long-term effects. If he were here, he'd be asking a lot of questions about your history of concussion. Nearly 2/3 of people who experience a TBI experience at least short-term chronic fatigue, and while it goes away for most of them, the ones who go on to have long-term chronic fatigue were most likely to have had a *mild* TBI. In other words, the TBI that is least likely to be taken seriously by your doctors is often the most likely to cause long-term chronic fatigue.

              This used to be poorly researched and poo-pooed by most doctors, but the research has come a long way in the last 10 years. Sadly that's because of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan; stuff that used to kill soldiers is now sending them home with traumatic brain injuries, and so there's been more research on the long-term effects of TBI.
              http://www.brainline.org/content/201...r_pageall.html
              Thank you for the thoughts on seeing a dr. and about childcare. Interesting that you brought up the TBI issue. I did have a bad fall when I was about 15 that resulted in a mild concussion. I was not knocked unconscious, but the concussion was bad enough to show up on the MRI. I was wearing a helmet-thank God. If I wasn't, I doubt I'd be typing this right now. I've told several doctors that my chronic fatigue/worsening of the low-grade depression I had since childhood occurred immediately after the accident. I can remember having bad headaches for a few weeks, and spending a lot of time in bed. I just was not the same after that. Of course, conventional medicine doesn't address that. As long as you can pass the basic neurological tests, you're deemed OK. I have tried neurofeedback sessions, but they didn't help much. Thanks for the article btw, that was very helpful. I'm going to spend more time looking through that site. Maybe it will provide some answers for me.

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #47
                Just in general: I didn't mean to imply in my comments that women who put their kids in childcare and/or don't breastfeed are somehow lesser mothers. Those are just my choices (especially the breastfeeding; not so much the childcare as I start to think about it.) I am far, far from perfect and I would never dream of being judgmental to anyone else.

                Comment


                • #48
                  Well, I'll weigh in. Although I fought like hell to have both of my children and I cannot help with the doubt. I do have a full-time job/career and a horse. I stopped showing when I had children, except for a few years before my guy went lame. I still enjoyed my horse and he adores his kids. I remember hand walking my colicy guy with my son in a snuggli, you just make it work.

                  Breastfeeding was harder for me, I hated it because I just couldn't sit still all the time. So I pumped, I rented a great pump and always had bottles of milk in the fridge so that I could leave the house and have Mr. Stolen feed ! Yah, that so worked for me and no breastfeeding which actually makes me queasy-I know not PC. I also suffer from depression and I think working and finding daycare was important to me. I could not be home with a toddler all day (babies yes).

                  I am also not my mother, my mother was a lousy parent and my example of "what not to do". I am not her and I am a good parent, they way I wanted my mother to parent.

                  Having children changes a lot but not who you are. I completely support someone not wanting children as well. It is essentially having another person drop into your life, they become people and they are their own person. I enjoy my two people, they are very different from me but that is the beauty of children.

                  Comment


                  • #49
                    Hey Alter, I have no advice other than to really take the time for self reflection, and talk this over with your DH before you make any decisions that can't be undone. I'm a Mom of 3, and while I didn't ride as much when my kids were little, I took in many old, retired and cast off horses that we all loved and cared for. For me, it was fulfilling enough, and I didn't really miss riding every day at all, but everyone is different.
                    I wish you all the best as you go through this decision.

                    Comment


                    • #50
                      Originally posted by S1969 View Post
                      Of course someone has to throw in the over-populated world part again. Geez. She has choices, of course. Please don't tell her to have an abortion to save you from overpopulation. And that anyone with a medical problem shouldn't have children - how generous of you.
                      Originally posted by alter84 View Post
                      Thank you. I was slightly offended by her post, being so flippant about abortion, a subject which I happen to take VERY seriously. And bringing up the "world is overpopulated" dogma..actually what has been happening for 100+ years is people have been moving from their agrarian lifestyles in the countryside into the cities, which ARE overpopulated. The whole country/world isn't overpopulated. But that's a whole 'nother topic. And I am not the first woman who has a medical problem to get pregnant. It's not like I have diabetes or cancer; it's fatigue. Bothersome to me, but not risky to my health or the child's.
                      As I often tell my kids -- "if you would mind YOUR OWN business as well as you mind each other's business...the world would be a better place!" (in our case, it is usually the "business" of their sibling, but that doesn't make it any better!)

                      You do have choices. Many choices. But they are yours to choose from, not someone else's. You should not consider terminating a pregnancy to save *someone else* from their idea of overpopulation, any more than you should consider carrying a baby to term simply to please someone else.

                      That is the whole point of CHOICE!

                      There is nothing wrong with considering EVERY option -- how else can you make the best decision? You will get nothing but support from me, no matter what you decide.

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        I am also one who suffers from extreme gluten intolerance. I had what was termed "chronic fatigue" and slept 18 hours a day on average. I could barely work part time, barely function, and never felt like I could get anything done. I worked with a few different anti-aging "MedSpa" type clinics and a Naturopath, who were the only ones who could get a handle on my situation. I was hypothyroid, although it wasn't clinically significant on my labwork. I couldn't convert T4 to T3, so Synthroid was not an option. With my thyroid adjusted, I went to sleeping "only" 10 hours per day, and then I had my cortisol tested, and realized that I also was in adrenal fatigue. I took low doses of prednisone, and my life changed a LOT. Now I'm pregnant, working a HIGH stress and high focus job successfully 60 hours a week, shoe my four horses, am happily married, and if you had told me six years ago that my life would look like this, I would have told you that you were nuts. I also had a lot of acupuncture and herbal treatments. Some people disagree with the validity of these treatments and diagnoses, but the results were there for me 210%. I like to share my story to show that there are options out there. Mary Shomon is a terrific thyroid advocate, and her books and articles on About.com are very up to date and informative.

                        I believe that there will be a treatment out there that will work for you, maybe in combination with another treatment or kind of lifestyle change. Please don't give up, and see someone who is really progressive about hormone balancing and endocrinology. It's usually not an endocrinologist in my experience.
                        Somewhere in the world, Jason Miraz is Goodling himself and wondering why "the chronicle of the horse" is a top hit. CaitlinAndTheBay

                        Comment


                        • #52
                          Originally posted by Candle View Post
                          I am also one who suffers from extreme gluten intolerance. I had what was termed "chronic fatigue" and slept 18 hours a day on average. I could barely work part time, barely function, and never felt like I could get anything done. I worked with a few different anti-aging "MedSpa" type clinics and a Naturopath, who were the only ones who could get a handle on my situation. I was hypothyroid, although it wasn't clinically significant on my labwork. I couldn't convert T4 to T3, so Synthroid was not an option. With my thyroid adjusted, I went to sleeping "only" 10 hours per day, and then I had my cortisol tested, and realized that I also was in adrenal fatigue. I took low doses of prednisone, and my life changed a LOT. Now I'm pregnant, working a HIGH stress and high focus job successfully 60 hours a week, shoe my four horses, am happily married, and if you had told me six years ago that my life would look like this, I would have told you that you were nuts. I also had a lot of acupuncture and herbal treatments. Some people disagree with the validity of these treatments and diagnoses, but the results were there for me 210%. I like to share my story to show that there are options out there. Mary Shomon is a terrific thyroid advocate, and her books and articles on About.com are very up to date and informative.

                          I believe that there will be a treatment out there that will work for you, maybe in combination with another treatment or kind of lifestyle change. Please don't give up, and see someone who is really progressive about hormone balancing and endocrinology. It's usually not an endocrinologist in my experience.
                          Wow. You've almost written my story. Although I can not seem to tolerate thyroid meds.

                          Along the same lines, besides gluten for me which was by far the worst, I also found incremental improvement with the removal of soy, caffeine and sugar. I've since taken back my caffeine but avoid the sugar and soy. If I eat something with sugar, I can definitely feel it the next day. That is the other thing that made diagnosis difficult, is that I did not realize until I kept a food diary, that I have reactions which are delayed about 254 hours.

                          An environmental Dr was the one who nailed it all for me.

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                          • #53
                            Alter, my mom just finished accupuncture school (second career..) PM if you have any more questions about it. I can put you in touch with her, or just give my 2 cents on it.

                            Comment


                            • #54
                              We left this thread open for a bit, as there was a portion of the situation that is horse-related, but this topic is really more suited to the Off Topic forum. We hope the OP has gotten some helpful input and are closing the thread with our best wishes to her.

                              Mod 1

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