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Do you lie online?

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  • Originally posted by quarterhorse4me View Post
    In my real life as a District Court Judge, people place their hand on the bible, look me in the eye and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them God.....then they turn around an lie the minute the get on the witness stand.
    I love this - too funny. But really (disclosure: I sometimes do expert witness work), every time this happens to me, my mind flashes to that great line "If I could tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I would BE God."

    I wish the oath were something along the lines of "I swear to tell what I believe to be the truth," because that would be so much more accurate and so much less pretentious.

    Oh, and no, I don't lie about myself online, but in my Q&A newsletter, HORSE-SENSE, I often disguise the questioner's identity by changing a name or a location, and by changing personal information ("My trainer, Mrs. So-and-so" becomes "My trainer," "Joe and Cindy Brown who own the barn where I board" becomes "The owners of the barn where I board," etc. If that counts as lying online, then I do that - and I plan to continue.
    Home page: www.jessicajahiel.com
    Horse-Sense newsletter: www.horse-sense.org

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Pasde2 View Post
      I love this - too funny. But really (disclosure: I sometimes do expert witness work), every time this happens to me, my mind flashes to that great line "If I could tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I would BE God."

      I wish the oath were something along the lines of "I swear to tell what I believe to be the truth," because that would be so much more accurate and so much less pretentious.
      This makes me think of George Costanza (Seinfeld) - It's not a lie if you believe it!

      Comment


      • I think PebblesNana maybe felt betrayed. This "friend" has a husband who should not be near children/teenagers. I think failure to mention that is tantamount to lying.

        If you had a horse for sale that had a bucking issue that injured its rider badly, that should be disclosed. I see it as the same case here.
        http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

        Comment


        • Originally posted by mkevent View Post
          I think PebblesNana maybe felt betrayed. This "friend" has a husband who should not be near children/teenagers. I think failure to mention that is tantamount to lying.

          If you had a horse for sale that had a bucking issue that injured its rider badly, that should be disclosed. I see it as the same case here.
          This, as an aside, is such a tough issue. While I agree that if I had a horse with a bucking issue, or foot issue or any issue, really, full disclosure, I am not sure these are analagous. Revealing information about sex offense typically has this kind of response ("OMG!"). For many, friends have steered clear, they can feel pretty isolated (not talking about the offender but the families) so they have learned NOT to meet a new, nice person they feel good about and then say, "I hope you don't mind that Bob is a sex offender, let me tell you the details", because, people tend NOT to be okay with that. Obviously families are not going to set up a situation where Bob is alone with a minor (that is usually in the court order and Bob himself would not want that to happen) but it can be very hard to decide WHEN/IF is a good time to reveal that information. I guess I don't see that as lying. Telling people he's a great babysitter would be offensive (and very,very creepy).

          Of course I agree with being careful about people on the internet and keeping kids safe and so on, and NOT revealing every stinking detail of our lives, just saying that was a difficult situation.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by lilitiger2 View Post
            This, as an aside, is such a tough issue. While I agree that if I had a horse with a bucking issue, or foot issue or any issue, really, full disclosure, I am not sure these are analagous. Revealing information about sex offense typically has this kind of response ("OMG!"). For many, friends have steered clear, they can feel pretty isolated (not talking about the offender but the families) so they have learned NOT to meet a new, nice person they feel good about and then say, "I hope you don't mind that Bob is a sex offender, let me tell you the details", because, people tend NOT to be okay with that.
            I agree. Imagine how isolated the BB Friend would be if she were allowed no IRL contact with friends while their kids were in tow!

            I have a buddy who was a registered sex offender for 15 years. His crime was not the most heinous of 'em to be sure. But that event in even the more distant past has come back to bite him in the butt over and over-- in ways that were legitimate for the comfort of parents (and maybe the safety of their children), and also in ways that were not. Folks exploited his status as a registered sex offender to exclude him from things like jobs and places to live that had nothing to do with kids.

            The guy gained a lot of acceptance around his status-- never knowing when he'd be blindsided by his history. It has been enlightening to watch him come to terms with that. Recently, he was removed from the list, having reported to a PO (or whatever he had to do) for years and years.
            The armchair saddler
            Politically Pro-Cat

            Comment


            • Fact of the matter is, I don't gove a hoot & holler what people I have not, and probably will neve meet, care about me, so why lie?

              However, if I chose to do so, I am a SPECTACULAR liar!

              CFF

              Comment


              • Originally posted by ReSomething View Post
                That's funny, most of the respondents say they don't lie, but I have yet to see people writing down the names of their employers and precisely what they do for a living either. They'll come close but isn't that an alteration?

                I talk vaguely about my work, I don't refer to the old guy by his registered name (mainly because his registration hasn't been updated in years and I don't want to make trouble for anyone). i don't straight up LIE, but sins of omission - you betcha!
                Not sharing personal information isn't lying. There are a lot of things about my personal life that I'm not going to share on a BB. But no, I don't lie about what I do post.
                http://www.tbhsa.com/index.html

                Originally Posted by JSwan
                I love feral children. They taste like chicken.

                Comment


                • Nah, no reason for me to lie. I just don't bother to say anything if I think my own opinion or experiences are not worth chiming in.
                  Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by ReSomething View Post
                    That's funny, most of the respondents say they don't lie, but I have yet to see people writing down the names of their employers and precisely what they do for a living either. They'll come close but isn't that an alteration?
                    No one everasked, but if anyone is interested, I work For CSC on the GETS (Government Emergency telecommunications Service) and WPs (Wireless Priority System) PROGRAMS. You can google them, or look them up on Wikipedia.

                    I write technical requirements, model performance, analyze data, write reports, and make test calls.
                    Janet

                    chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).

                    Comment


                    • I don't "lie online". However I do not share info that that enables stalkers.

                      Unfortunately the interweb can be a dangerous place..

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by ReSomething View Post
                        That's funny, most of the respondents say they don't lie, but I have yet to see people writing down the names of their employers and precisely what they do for a living either. They'll come close but isn't that an alteration?
                        Frankly, I don't mention where I work because it is not remotely interesting. Data entry at a horse association. Blah. Nothing exciting about that!

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Crackerdog View Post
                          There is a difference between lying about who you are and simply not posting all your personal info for everyone to ogle over. There is nothing wrong with keeping some things to yourself.

                          I do not lie about who I am, frankly I don't see a reason for it.
                          Yes, this. When there's some special reason for remaining anonymous, there are always alters.
                          "Things should be as simple as possible,
                          but no simpler." - Einstein

                          “So what’s with the years of lessons? You still can’t ride a damn horse?!”

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by mkevent View Post
                            If you had a horse for sale that had a bucking issue that injured its rider badly, that should be disclosed. I see it as the same case here.
                            The carefully worded horse sales ads...now there's some fodder for what is a lie and what isn't. My dad's gunsmoke horse is not safe...for HIM. He drives it nuts. He's not safe. In the right hands the mare is safe. My sister and I disagree on how this information should be presented to buyers. Neither one of us is lying about the horse.

                            Comment


                            • Finzean-I agree.

                              It is interesting when it comes to horse sales. If you tell the truth, you scare off buyers often because they think you're also hiding something else. Horses do behave differently for different people, so that also has to be taken into consideration. How much of the bad behavior is handler/rider induced? I err on the side of telling everything I can think of that may be a problem. It is amazing how many people tell you not to divulge certain things when you are selling a horse. Their view is that it is up to the buyer to find that out.

                              Also interesting points from lilitiger2 and mvp. I never thought of it from that perspective. As a parent of young teens (in this persons case), I still would have wanted to know the background so I make the decision for myself. If it were only me going to visit the friend, it wouldn't have mattered. I can understand how a parent would be upset, though.
                              http://thepitchforkchronicles.com

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Pasde2 View Post
                                I love this - too funny. But really (disclosure: I sometimes do expert witness work), every time this happens to me, my mind flashes to that great line "If I could tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, I would BE God."

                                I wish the oath were something along the lines of "I swear to tell what I believe to be the truth," because that would be so much more accurate and so much less pretentious.
                                I love this too As a trial attorney, I would spend a lot of time during witness "preps" convincing witnesses that truth was the best policy, and they would follow my advice during direct examination, but when pressed against the wall during cross-examination many people would start to embellish. And, of course, if 3 people witnessed the same thing, there would be 3 versions of events, sometimes wildly inconsistent. It didn't necessarily mean anyone was deliberately lying.

                                I have a very good ("photographic") memory, so I catch people in little lies or inconsistencies on the internet. It can be something very benign, like mixing up dates. But I also know one relatively "normal" person who has an active "alter" (second identity) on a horse bulletin board.

                                In The Kite Runner there is a line that when you tell a lie you steal someone's right to the truth. My feeling is that lying is wrong and usually unnecessary, but we're hardwired to do it. Usually it's harmless. I think it's different when someone tells a deliberate lie with consequences, such as lying about a sales horse that bucks. And, in that case, non-disclosure is as unethical as an outright lie.

                                Comment


                                • I don't lie online - because I have seen how permanent what you say is online. I have contacts with online people in real life - I got my horse from a friend I met on this board - Irishcass!!! He's the greatest horse of my life. Irishcass is an honest and reliable friend in my neck of the woods, I consider her presence and asset - I am so happy she moved back to the northeast. If I needed to, I could call on her for support or horse help.

                                  I considser the internet to be an extension of real life. Everywhere I go, horsewise, I meet people on COTH or other BBs. Its a way to connect accross the country, in alot of sense. I don't lie from barn to barn, friend to friend, boyfriend to boyfriend. I learned a long time ago that its a small world and even without the internet, lies will come back to bite you - so by the time I was a late teen, I knew that the horse world was connected and you don't lie because a barn in lower CT is somehow connected to upper CT and it will come back to bite you.

                                  For example, as a 15 year old, there is a horse trainer name I heard negative things about and today, I meet people who bought a horse from her and the horse wasn't as represented. I think to myself "wow, that's so-and-so from way back then" and don't repeat it to the people today, why bother, but I certainly would not buy from her or train with her, as her reputation preceded her about her lies, and I knew it even as a kid, although she advertises widely and many adults I meet have bought from her.

                                  Hopefully people are smart enough to realize that every lie you tell is permanent online, and even in real life; it never goes away. Lying online is an extension of who you are in your offline life. Consider that before you lie.
                                  My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

                                  Comment


                                  • I have often thought about a section of a book "All the Pretty Horse" by Cormak McCarthy wherein a judge said "Trouble with a liar is he can't remember what he said".

                                    That has played out umpteen times on this BB. Why lie, when the truth is just as much fun, if not more so? When you acknowlege who you are and where you are in your life, you have a foundation to change, or upgrade, if that's your desire.

                                    If you are a vet tech because you failed or because you opted out of finishing your schooling, that's who you are. If you passionately want to be a vet, say so, and put that in your game plan. But don't go around pretending you actually ARE a vet. That will stop you from ever becoming one.

                                    Lies will out you. Someone somewhere has met a liar just like you, and will recognize your lies for what they are - think Chanter - many of us have met whackos with the same claims she made, and many judges have come across people like her trying for law suites. Her lies are transparent to people in the real world and now online, she herself seems the only person oblivious to the fact that she has psychological problems about how the world and her environment has failed her.

                                    We as BB writers seem to be faulted for "piling on" when liars come onto this BB and create their magical worlds, but the truth is, that the majority of us are actually wise to liars and the troubles they cause and the untruths they try to profit from, and calling liars out on their sociopathic efforts is not to be shamed.

                                    I think the people who try to shame the ones who call out liars are probably liars themselves,
                                    My warmbloods have actually drunk mulled wine in the past. Not today though. A drunk warmblood is a surly warmblood. - WildandWickedWarmbloods

                                    Comment


                                    • Originally posted by Ambitious Kate View Post
                                      I have often thought about a section of a book "All the Pretty Horse" by Cormak McCarthy wherein a judge said "Trouble with a liar is he can't remember what he said".

                                      That has played out umpteen times on this BB. Why lie, when the truth is just as much fun, if not more so? When you acknowlege who you are and where you are in your life, you have a foundation to change, or upgrade, if that's your desire.

                                      If you are a vet tech because you failed or because you opted out of finishing your schooling, that's who you are. If you passionately want to be a vet, say so, and put that in your game plan. But don't go around pretending you actually ARE a vet. That will stop you from ever becoming one.

                                      Lies will out you. Someone somewhere has met a liar just like you, and will recognize your lies for what they are - think Chanter - many of us have met whackos with the same claims she made, and many judges have come across people like her trying for law suites. Her lies are transparent to people in the real world and now online, she herself seems the only person oblivious to the fact that she has psychological problems about how the world and her environment has failed her.

                                      We as BB writers seem to be faulted for "piling on" when liars come onto this BB and create their magical worlds, but the truth is, that the majority of us are actually wise to liars and the troubles they cause and the untruths they try to profit from, and calling liars out on their sociopathic efforts is not to be shamed.

                                      I think the people who try to shame the ones who call out liars are probably liars themselves,
                                      Well, not necessarily.
                                      I am not sure all liars are sociopaths.
                                      Then, self-righteous can be said to have it's own pathology.

                                      As someone posted already, when pointing one finger at others, lets remember where the others are pointing.

                                      Comment


                                      • Originally posted by Ambitious Kate View Post
                                        I have often thought about a section of a book "All the Pretty Horse" by Cormak McCarthy wherein a judge said "Trouble with a liar is he can't remember what he said".
                                        Now, now. That only happens to stupid and lazy liars. If you are smart and diligent, you keep a mental file on the parts of the lie you have told.... and also remain 3 moves ahead of the lie-ees.
                                        The armchair saddler
                                        Politically Pro-Cat

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