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I dont get it?

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  • #21
    Perhaps she was running a bit late or not paying attention and didn't latch the gate properly?

    I have had that happen. When we cleared the pasture of all the trees I had a friend taking out all the downed trees and wood, the last time he came by he didn't latch the gate and one of the horses nosed it open and squeezed through giving room for the others to follow.

    So maybe she is going happily along having no idea the horse was loose and how upset you are over it.
    Chambermaid to....


    • Original Poster

      The worker has been with the BO since she was a kid, pre-teen. According to the BO, this is new behaviour for the working. She tried to speak to her about it, and the BO said "XX basically told me I would have to deal with the half-assed job because she is stretched out too thin as it is. I told her i would no longer babysit in exchange for the work on the weekends, and it would cost her a lot more for a babysitter to cover for 30 hours than the swap we have".

      Like I said, I dont want to get involved. The BO is friendly with me, but I have learned the hard way NOT to become friends with a BO beyond the basic level. So I don't engage in the conversation.
      I agree that BO should double check everything the days the worker is there.
      I understand that the worker is busy, it's no personal vendetta against her by any means (or her age ) HOWEVER, since things seem to be getting worse other than better (I spent an hour last weekend breaking up frozen buckets and she'd just left, so obviously not checked), now it's directly affecting my horse(s).
      I really don't want to move. It's quiet there, inexpensive and I never had an issue until this.


      • #23
        If you have the time to be out there anyway, maybe you could work something out w/ BO and just do your own care for now until things resolve? I'm not sure if that would work with your schedule, but it's a thought. I mean, if you're going to have to be following along and double checking everything anyway, what's 20 min to just do it yourself if you can get a discount too?

        I feel for the barn worker as it sounds like she has a lot on her hands, but I guess she missed the life lesson where horses can't feed/water/turn themselves out? Gosh, I forgot to fill the tank once as a kid and got to spend the better part of an afternoon doing so by hand.

        If it's a job worth doing, it's a job worth doing right. how would she feel if her child wasn't being fed or given water or whatever? It's just not okay. no matter WHAT else is going on, we have a responsibility to those who cannot care for themselves. Horses and kiddos fall into that category.
        A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

        Might be a reason, never an excuse...


        • Original Poster

          If it's a job worth doing, it's a job worth doing right. how would she feel if her child wasn't being fed or given water or whatever? It's just not okay. no matter WHAT else is going on, we have a responsibility to those who cannot care for themselves. Horses and kiddos fall into that category.
          Thats what the BO said to me also, that she feeds her kid 3 meals a day and takes good care of HIM so why can't the worker do the same?

          I would help out, but I only get one day of actual time with the horses. My son's only 3 months old right now, and I work 3 days a week so time's limited.
          I too forgot water once as a kid. NEVER did that again!

          I will say this that I noticed-
          her horse and my horse share a fence line and there is one of those huge Rubbermaid tubs for water and the horses share the tub under the fence. When I put my gelding away, his side was frozen solid and her horse's side had a hole punched in the ice. The rest of the ice was a good 3 inches thick...it appeared as if she broke the ice on her horse's side and not mine. Can't say for sure, but it looked that way. The first horse in the line of paddocks was pretty damn solid. Hadn't been broken at all.


          • #25
            Well, no wonder you don't get it.

            You don't want to talk to the BO
            You don't want to talk to the BW
            You don't want to get involved beyond signing a check and seeing your horse

            Life will never, ever get any easier until you learn how to get it. To get it, you have to get involved. And get involved in a way that you gain information, strengthen relationships, repair things (promises, plans, projects) that are broken, and make plans to follow up on those broken things to ensure they are repaired.

            You are going to be eaten up with ulcers and worry by 40 at this rate. You owe it to yourself and your family and your health to learn how to Get It.


            • Original Poster

              Um, I don't want to talk to the BO about her issues with the barn worker in regards to the childcare and her not doing the work up to par for the BO. Or should I say, I don't want the BO to involve me by talking to me about things that had (up to now) nothing to do with me.

              I do not want to talk to the barn worker about her not doing her job, not nessesarily about my horse being loose in the indoor arena. The arrangement she has with the BO for trading work is not my business. My horse's ankle and water are my business.

              I don't want to get involved in their relationship. But thank you for the psychology lesson?


              • #27
                Wow, LBM, you are mad. Yes we all got it, and that anger is well justified - I would be if I were in your shoes. However, lashing out to other posters does nothing to further your cause, only make you sound childish, and I am saying this because, based on your own admission, you "are" kid in my book, seeing I have lived and seen the world quite a few years more than you.

                Please, calm down and chill a bit - many have offered sound advice and all left is for you to adopt one that is most sensible. If you are in a managerial role, you should know that wantonly lash out, either to the perpetrator or other bystanders, will never get you anywhere you wish to go. I know, because, as an employee of a decent sized company, I know those who don't have the bearing to confront difficulties with composure will never survive. Good luck.


                • Original Poster

                  Where did I lash out? Did I completely miss something?


                  • #29
                    You 'read' as an angry, pissy person, LBM. I feel bad for you b/c I get the feeling you either have no clue how you come across, or you know but you don't care, because 'it is what it is'. Either way, I genuinely feel bad for you. Either way is a rough road.

                    Good luck. And I mean that.


                    • Original Poster

                      Oh dear! LOL! I did not mean to come off that way. I'm actually NOT angry, pissy or any of that. Just really rather annoyed that my horse was pretty close to healed and reinjured due to the workers mistake/apathy/not latched gate etc.
                      No need to feel badly for me.


                      • #31
                        Sadly, your orig post describes very typical things I saw as a boarder. No communication from BO/BM to workers or if there is communication, no follow through. I remember trying everything as far as notes on the board in the feedroom, notes on stall, calls to everyone I could think of. I think it is a real shame this happened to your girl and I think it it is ridiculous, but sadly I also think it is common in boarding situations. There are a few BO/BM's on this board who sound really on top of things but they are the exception not the rule. I would certainly be upset in your case.

                        I don't think it's personal at all, it's just how things are. I'm really sorry this happened.

                        I do have to add, though, that I think the BO just sending a text was not an especially reliable way to convey instructions to a worker. Does anyone know if the worker got the text, or got it on time to do anything about it? If your phone isn't getting a signal a text can be delayed, or battery dead, etc. Your own notes should have been enough, but still I don't think texting instructions is very good. No feedback on whether the message is received at all or received correctly.
                        If thou hast a sorrow, tell it not to the arrow, tell it to thy saddlebow, and ride on, singing. -- King Alfred the Great


                        • #32
                          I'm with Katherine and LS on this. Get to the bottom of this first. Too many possible reasons for this. I hope your mare heals quickly.
                          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein



                          • #33
                            @ Katherine: I was trying to come up with the same thing in my head. Communication is a 2 way street and just sitting there being pissed at everyone isn't going to get things solved. You will just be mad and everyone will just be going about their business making you mad
                            Draumr Hesta Farm
                            "Wenn Du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein kleines Licht daher"
                            Member of the COTH Ignorant Disrepectful F-bombs!*- 2Dogs Farm


                            • #34
                              First, I feel your pain, I have a horse on stall rest as well (colic surgery) and we put him on this stuff - Thia-Cal which has made him quite agreeable to his current situation so you might want to give that a try. However, though my horse is doing quite well he recently did have a bit of an adventure the other day when he got loose, went for a spin, trotted up and over into our ring - 4'6and we had a dead lame pony that would routinely jump over the ring and paddock fencing. The thing could barely walk but he managed to jump if he was let out. So it's possible your mare did the same - never underestimate their ability to do or get where they're not supposed to. I would ask the worker what happened and that way if it was a mistake you have re-iterated to her what needs to be done. If the mare is hot talk to your vet about giving her some calming agent (as mentioned I've become a fan of Thia-cal - its $20.99 per gallon from FarmVet) or Reserpine (sp?) (the variety that is a powder? added to feed - I know some who've used this on their stalled horses).

                              I would also discuss w/ your BO/BM that not only will you consider moving if proper care is not given but if mare gets re-injured or if another vet call is needed because of the barn's negligence -then that bill might just be theirs, not yours. Good luck w/ your mare's recovery.


                              • #35
                                I'd just be honest with both the BO and the barn worker. Just let them both know what happened and ask that it please NOT be allowed to happen again. At my boarding barn, one barn worker simply "forgot" to turn my horse out one day. No big deal but I was annoyed. And another day someone did not make sure the gate that enclosed the stallion was unlatched - resulting in loose stallion - scary to me at the time but I now understand he is a'' bark and no bite.

                                People make mistakes. It stinks that this resulted in a setback for your mare.
                                What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


                                • #36
                                  Well, FWIW, I had a VERY similar scenario around this time last year happen to me. However, it sounds like you BO is MUCH MUCH more reasonable than the one I was dealing with. My horse (fractious from stall rest young OTTB) had a suspensory tear and injury to his DDFT and needed to go out in a pen the size of a stall. BO turned him out in a round pen where he could run and when I arrived he had been pacing and cantering around for quite some time. I feel your pain as I remember that I was FURIOUS.

                                  I digress, but in any case, I had to just tell the BO not to turn him out even though I knew it would be MUCH worse for his mental health but at least I knew he wouldn't be doing more damage. Is this an option since it is evident that the care that should be taken is not?
                                  "Be the change you want to see in the world."
                                  ~Mahatma Gandhi


                                  • #37
                                    I have to say, sounds like 3 people with kids/jobs, and none of them have as much time to get things done as they would like. All want for someone else to be 'the one' who gets things done.

                                    Sounds like barn worker has been honest with the 'this is the best I can do right now, take it or leave it' statement.

                                    Since the barn worker is the low woman on the totem pole, she is likely to be the one blamed. I find it unlikely that the OP makes no errors/shortfalls in her efforts to juggle work/home/child. Same for the farm owner. Everybody has kids/jobs and wants somebody else to make up the difference so that they can do what they need to do.

                                    What y'all need is some single/childfree people around that place!
                                    "Friend" me !



                                    • #38
                                      I am actually sort of amazed at everyone jumping on the OP. I would have been livid. Truly and completely livid. I don't think the OP was doing anything more then venting.

                                      I had a similar situation where someone handled my mare with a hot-headed GELDING without my permission. Gelding went after my mare who pulled away, bolted, and went down on her side. Furious does not even begin to touch on the feelings I experienced when I got that text message. I can actually feel my blood pressure increase just thinking about it over 3 months later. It was stupid and her lack of oversight to save 5 minutes could have resulted in a serious injury or worse. I went through a similar mental process as the OP where I vacillated between anger, frustration, and confusion about such a complete lack of common sense.

                                      OP, I'm glad you mare wasn't injured and I think it is a good idea that you elected not to speak with the worker. You are understandably still upset and ultimately the BO needs to determine the consequences if any, for the workers repeated mistakes. I agree that I do not think you should have to talk to the BO about her personal relationship with the worker.

                                      Ultimately, you write the bills and you have every right to have your instructions followed. Especially when the instructions are tied to your horses well-being and a recent injury.

                                      If the worker cannot remember to put a rehabbing horse in a pen, then the worker is no longer a good match for a boarding facility unless she is willing to foot the bill if her actions directly result in the injury of a clients horse.


                                      • #39
                                        Of COURSE she should be livid.

                                        But livid doesn't get answers or improved behaviors and actions.

                                        That takes communication.

                                        Of COURSE she should be upset, damn skippy. But she is going to have to get answers about what happened and what's been/being done so that it doesn't happen again. And....that takes communication. About the issue itself. Not age, not kids, not relationships...only the issue itself and nothing else. When you present a very narrow topic for discussion and refuse to be drawn off of it by superfluous details, things can get really clear, really fast.


                                        • #40
                                          So has anyone asked the bw directly and specifically why the horse was loose in the arena?
                                          My blog: Crackerdog Farm