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Moral Dilemma: What Would You Do?

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  • Just to clarify...I absolutely do not condone sellers who are dishonest or sneaky.

    Huntertwo...I understand that the no-trainer aspect was more prevalent 40 years ago...but today, most young riders that are looking for a horse to compete have a trainer or have access to a trainer.

    As for the money thing (this is a little bit of a sore spot for me)...wouldn't it be more cost effective to pay a trainer to help you find a horse than to pick the wrong one yourself and have to deal with all of the cost and emotional aspects that come from that? I DO NOT understand in the least why people try to cheap out in this sport?! (Huntertwo..not saying that this happened in your family as it was such a long time ago and things have changed).

    I know how much it costs to do the horse thing and I know that it is hard and that we would all like to find cheaper ways of doing things...but it has also been my experience that 9 times out of 10..cheaping out just comes back to bite you in the behind.

    It drives me nuts when people that own horses complain about the costs - that's what having a horse means!! One big expense! But if you love the sport, you suck it up and you put out the cash and do it right. IMO, the absolute worst way to "save" money is to not have a coach. This is strictly for those who want to compete and do not have the knowledge/experience to campaign a horse themselves. It does not in any way reflect upon the pleasure rider or hobbyist.

    I've seen too many nice horses ruined b/c their owners were too stingy to get a professional's help!! Ok, end of vent...I apologize if I have offended anyone but I feel strongly that if you choose to do something, you do it right and don't complain about what YOU got yourself into.
    \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

    Comment


    • Why does it feel like open season on ESG here? I, for one, think that ESG comes across as quite to-the-point and honest to a fault. These are qualities I seek in someone I would choose to do business with.

      And in response to those who disagree with my statement that many posters here don't sound like they have run a business...To all of you, do you really want employees who sneak around and give their unsolicited (and perhaps unqualified) advice to customers behind your back? Wouldn't you rather they approach you directly if they have concerns with your decisions? Sure, the trainer in this scenario may have been in the wrong on this occasion, but were the OP's actions really the professional way to handle it?
      Ristra Ranch Equestrian Jewelry

      Comment


      • My 1st horse purchase years ago was from a private seller (stayed at my place for a week, then was returned to the seller because once the drugs wore off, the horse was completely unsound from navicular). When I was a kid, we never bought from a trainer, though my dad wasn't opposed to hiring a trainer for an otherwise good horse that was doing stuff he didn't know how to fix.

        Every other horse purchase I have made has been through a trainer. There are awesome trainers, traders and private sellers. Like any other thing, the bad "people" are the problem. You can learn a ton from the good ones. All around good horse people can be hard to find, imho.

        Comment


        • It drives me nuts when people that own horses complain about the costs - that's what having a horse means!! One big expense! But if you love the sport, you suck it up and you put out the cash and do it right. IMO, the absolute worst way to "save" money is to not have a coach. This is strictly for those who want to compete and do not have the knowledge/experience to campaign a horse themselves. It does not in any way reflect upon the pleasure rider or hobbyist.
          From the posts I have seen on this forum, there are as many unscrupulous trainers as there are unscrupulous dealers. Anyone who wants to seriously pursue a sport needs to learn enough to be able to make their own judgements!

          Comment


          • One's own judgement can never replace years of experience.

            The problem with learning the sport on your own is that you are inevitably going to screw up sometimes - like buying the wrong horse or trying to train something that is beyond your skill level. I guess my thought is that I wouldn't want to screw up my horse...which happens ALOT with people who don't have the knowledge going out and buying something that they cannot handle or bring along properly.
            \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

            Comment


            • I think that ESG, Vandy and Czar all bring up very good points here. Yes some posters might be to the point but I would rather that than all of the other garbage. We are all entitled to our opinions. That is what the OP asked for. That is what she got. Isn't honesty what all of you people say you want? Maybe a pair of rose colored glasses would suit better.

              Comment


              • ComingAttraction..once again, we agree
                \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

                Comment


                • Originally posted by ESG:But what really rots my socks is that the OP seems to be changing the details of the story to suit her position whenever she's challenged. That is a huuuuge red flag to me, as it's the sign of someone who knows their argument is flawed.
                  The OP stated at the beginning that she was changing many details; she wanted to protect the identities of those involved. It's right there in the first post: she wanted to start a general discussion about this "sort" of situation, not necessarily her exact circumstances. To wit:

                  I'm changing a lot of the details because I don't want to slander anyone involved. I just want to know what my fellow COTHers would have done in a similar situation. Again, LOTS of details have been changed due to the fact that my previous posts might make it too obvious who I'm talking about if I didn't change everything, so don't worry too much about the specifics; just consider the general situation.
                  Shahwhatever (too lazy to look for the actual spelling) was kind enough to provide me the actual story via PT, and based on that I'd have to say that I think she did the right thing. It's worse than a "green OTTB" and potentially very dangerous, IMO. So I've changed my mind on that.

                  I disagree strongly, however, with her decision to remain with this trainer. The best way to handle this would have been, IMHO: (1) tell trainer you're uncomfortable with the situation and ask him/her to at least mention something to the buyers; (2) talked to the buyers yourself, if trainer wouldn't; and (3) put in notice with the trainer and get out.

                  Based on the length of this thread, I think there's an interesting discussion to be had here, regardless of the actual details of the OP's situation. I'm glad she brought it up.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Vandy:
                    Why does it feel like open season on ESG here? I, for one, think that ESG comes across as quite to-the-point and honest to a fault. These are qualities I seek in someone I would choose to do business with.

                    And in response to those who disagree with my statement that many posters here don't sound like they have run a business...To all of you, do you really want employees who sneak around and give their unsolicited (and perhaps unqualified) advice to customers behind your back? Wouldn't you rather they approach you directly if they have concerns with your decisions? Sure, the trainer in this scenario may have been in the wrong on this occasion, but were the OP's actions really the professional way to handle it?
                    It is always open season on ESG, and those who share her opinions, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!

                    (In other words, you just painted a big fat bullseye on your bee-hind )

                    (BTW, if I don't want to slender somebody, I do NOT tell strangers on the net about it, not even via PT, just because my posted location states I am from the Moon does not mean I am not living next door!)

                    Comment


                    • I would really like to know what was wrong with the horse.

                      My whole argument was based soley on the horse being Off track. If there is a different reason I would like to know.

                      But as an aside, I can relate to having to deal with moral situations. I was put in a similar situation a few years ago. One early morning I got to the show grounds to find my boss doing something very bad to one of our children's hunters. The second I saw it I gave my two weeks notice. AFTER THAT I went to the owner of the horse and told her what was going on, and let her make her decision as to what to do with her coach.

                      Bottom line: if you don't like what your trainer is doing you shouldn't be working for him. Don't let your trainer think you are on their team while you are sneaking around behind them. Trainers talk, you WILL get a reputation. No one wants to hire someone who may sabotoge their business behind their back.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Alagirl:
                        It is always open season on ESG, and those who share her opinions, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!

                        (In other words, you just painted a big fat bullseye on your bee-hind )
                        Oh, Great I usually don't pay too much attention to who is who on the BB unless I know them personally (have never met ESG), but over the past few weeks I have been posting on 2 different threads which basically turned into ESG bashes, and I heartily agreed with her opinions both times. So now hearing this, I am intrigued. Both times I was curious why I was basically stating the same opinions as ESG and no one was coming after me. Guess I am just one of the little people...now graduating to a little person with a bullseye I guess
                        Ristra Ranch Equestrian Jewelry

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Vandy:
                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alagirl:
                          It is always open season on ESG, and those who share her opinions, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!

                          (In other words, you just painted a big fat bullseye on your bee-hind )
                          Oh, Great I usually don't pay too much attention to who is who on the BB unless I know them personally (have never met ESG), but over the past few weeks I have been posting on 2 different threads which basically turned into ESG bashes, and I heartily agreed with her opinions both times. So now hearing this, I am intrigued. Both times I was curious why I was basically stating the same opinions as ESG and no one was coming after me. Guess I am just one of the little people...now graduating to a little person with a bullseye I guess </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          Nah, my first horse was named Vandy - I couldn't be snarky to a person named Vandy.

                          Plus two people could say the same thing, but one is more diplomatic about saying it.
                          Whats that saying about getting more bees with honey?
                          MnToBe Twinkle Star: "Twinkie"
                          http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/f...wo/009_17A.jpg

                          Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Vandy:
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Alagirl:
                            It is always open season on ESG, and those who share her opinions, been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!

                            (In other words, you just painted a big fat bullseye on your bee-hind )
                            Oh, Great I usually don't pay too much attention to who is who on the BB unless I know them personally (have never met ESG), but over the past few weeks I have been posting on 2 different threads which basically turned into ESG bashes, and I heartily agreed with her opinions both times. So now hearing this, I am intrigued. Both times I was curious why I was basically stating the same opinions as ESG and no one was coming after me. Guess I am just one of the little people...now graduating to a little person with a bullseye I guess </div></BLOCKQUOTE>


                            I guess you just flew in under the radar - for now! I am sorry that I outed you!

                            Comment


                            • It is one thing to post an opinion. It is quite another to be nasty about it. Hence, no patience or respect to ESG and posse who thought nothing of being nasty.

                              I believe it would be wise for the OP to move her horse. Continuing to have her horse in this person's stable may lead to more problems like the one posted here. A person must be able to live with their concience in order to live a good life. It sounds as though the OP is a young person. A word of advise: There are literally thousands of stables out there. There are literally thousands of jobs. Find one of each and be happier.

                              Comment

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