• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Fell off my horse, went to get Xrays, then found another surprise...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #61
    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by vxf111:
    On a slight tangent I am thoroughly shocked that you got pregnant on Depo because that is quite unusual. Were you on the depo while you concieved or only subsequent? You really need to see a good doctor if you decide to keep the baby because there's a risk of tubal pregnancy/premature birth with depo and there may be other health considerations as well. My understanding was that women who accidentally concieved on depo often had complications and thus often chose to abort for safety reasons. But you're further along than most probably and I am NOT a doctor and could be completely wrong. But please see someone who is knowledgeable in this area so that you (and the baby) will be safe. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I agree here. Have everything checked out. I started on Depo 6 years ago this spring & my dr didn't take my choice of birth control lightly (she actually didn't care for it, but I wanted it). I was told there were severe risks & complications for the baby if pregnant on the Depo. I don't know how long you were on Depo prior to becoming pregnant, but I had to take tests & have bloodwork done before they would even give me the first shot (it's good for 3 month stints & you MUST stay on the program for it to be effective). I am not trying to freak you out, but am very glad you have a dr appt right away to discuss this. Make sure you get all & any of your questions answered. Write them down ahead of time if you think you may forget any. And your Mom will be there for you--she loves you & wants what is best for you.
    "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

    Comment


    • #62
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Flash44:
      I will pray for you, that everything turns out for the best no matter what your decision may be. God be with you. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



      *NO HORSES TO SALGUHTER
      *BROKEN PONIES

      Comment


      • #63
        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by hitchinmygetalong:
        I haven't read all the posts here but having had three babies I find it almost inconceivable (sorry, bad pun, unintentional) that anyone could be eight-plus months pregnant and not suspect something was amiss. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        At this juncture, whether she should have known is irrelevant. She IS pregnant and has some hard choices to make... That's what's important now. Pestering her about how she could not have known does not really help the situation or the poster any, except to maybe make her feel worse for not knowing...


        Comment


        • #64
          To the OP: You obviously have some very important decisions to make, best of luck to you. Sounds like you have some good support, and you are not alone, which is truly a blessing that not everyone enjoys.

          As an aside, am I the only one who is a little shocked at all the advice to not tell the father? While he may be a creep, he still has rights as the father of that child. If he is dangerous, thats one thing, but it just seems a little harsh to write him off as just a 'donor' and to advise perjuring oneself to avoid dealing with him. Hmmm. While a guy may be a crappy boyfriend does that make him a crappy father not deserving of knowing he has a son/daughter out there?

          Comment


          • #65
            About the not knowing she was pregnant thing...I too would have found that hard to believe, but someone at my old barn (who did know she was pregnant because it was on purpose) had her baby a couple weeks early, but even right up till then she never had one symptom and never had more than a little pot belly. Had she not been trying and gone to the doctor, she would in all likelihood not have known she was pregnant. And she was just an average sized person too, quite thin really.
            \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

            Comment


            • #66
              i'm with some of the other posters, and can't imagine being THAT pregnant and not knowing, besides the weight gain and getting bigger, those little suckers move quite a bit. but that aside, i can sympathize with the OP. i was 24, had just started dating my boyfriend, was on birth control, when i found myself unemployed and pregnant. not exactly an ideal situation. for ME, neither abortion or adoption was an option. so now i have an almost 11 month old son, whom i adore. my boyfriend has been great, and is a great father. and that is the key, to be a good father, regardless of who the sperm donor is. if you and your fiance choose to keep this baby, then it doesn't matter who the biological father is, it matters who the FATHER is. but, no matter what you choose to do, either adoption, or to keep the baby, good luck, and my thoughts are with all of you.
              Different Times Equestrian Ventures at Hidden Spring Ranch
              www.DifferentTimesEquestrianVentures.com

              Comment


              • #67
                Goodness. I have nothing useful to say, but you certainly have my sympathy.
                But, I will share this story, as I witnessed it myself.
                everal years ago, I and a group of friends were having an early Christmas dinner party with people that he worked with.
                Midway through dinner, one of the women suddenly clutched her stomach, and doubled over in severe pain.
                She was rushed to the hospital, where she delivered a baby girl!!!
                This woman had NO idea she was pregnant. There were no "symptoms" of pregnancy. she continued to have her period all through her gestation, gained no noticable weight, experienced none of the normal things that women say they feel throughout a pregnancy.

                So, there they were, she and her husband, two days before Christmas, with a fresh baby!!!No baby supplies, nothing!!

                You can bet we all went on an emergency shopping spree!

                (they blame my presence at the dinner for this daughter ending up hopelessly horsey! So much so that they ended up buying a small farm, and boarding horses!)

                so, whatever you decide to do, good luck, and please let us know!
                LESS HARD WORK, MORE FINE DINING!™
                complicate, obfuscate, prevaricate.

                Comment


                • #68
                  well whose to say you weren't visiting friends in another state and had a one-night stand with a guy you only knew by first name?

                  Good luck.
                  Hopeful Farm Sport Horses
                  Midwest Breeders Group
                  Follow me on Twitter
                  Join me on Facebook

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    I admire your courage and know that you will work things out for the best.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Wow, just wow. I really don't have anything to add other then good luck, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I've heard of people that still get their period and not know that they are pregnant, so I can understand not getting it because of your BC. Ooooofff, what a shocker that must have been. I think I would die.
                      Missouri Fox Trotters-To ride one is to own one

                      Standardbreds, so much more then a harness racing horse.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        well, you are in a hard situation. But, as others have said, not impossible.

                        I knew I was pregnant, but I was 19, and thats young. Single, the whole nine yards- I did tell the dad, and truth be known, I am not happy that I did. Sorry- I am all for rights, and esp dad rights, but he was really never a dad. Instead, now at 22, she has a fantastic step dad, and is in a serious relationship, is going to teach early ed, and has done well for herself in USPC. Her dad helped with NONE of this, and actually caused a great deal of stress in her life. So, if he is that big of an a** then, sadly, i fall on the don't tell side. And as HFSH says, whos to say???

                        I went to start the abortion process, and I left, it was just not right for me. I firmly believe in choice, becasue I chose to have her. And she is a delight.
                        But Adoption is a great option for you, if you can bring yourself to do it. You know how wonderful it is- nothing more to say.

                        It did change my life- things were somewhat harder then they might have been. I did not get to finish college "on time", so therefore did not "live up to my potential" (i did not have supportive parents....) But in retrospect, it was the only decision for me.

                        If you need anything, pt me. And you have my hand on your back- good luck to you-

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Without giving up TMI, be EXTREMELY careful and speak to your doctor at length about the risks involved with becoming pregnant on Depo. Very bad things can happen- hopefully it will not be a problem in your case. Good luck to you and I wish you all the strength in the world.
                          Proud owner of an Econo Nag...

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Folks - don't be so shocked at the thought of a woman deceiving everyone about who the father of the child is - it's been done for thousands of years and will continue to be done. For good or for bad. Many women have left the "father" section of the birth certificate blank or have had their husband raise a child not his own for many reasons - some of them selfish, some not.

                            It's human nature.

                            And there are many men out there who would be less than pleased to know they are a father.

                            Yes, the father has many many rights - all of them well deserved.

                            She's in a very tight spot right now - she may want to keep things as simple as possible.

                            Children are wonderful and a blessing. But for many of us, women and men, it is a traumatic and unhappy event. What it proves to be in the future depends very much on the choices she makes now.
                            Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
                            Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
                            -Rudyard Kipling

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Aside from wishing the OP all the strength in the world to cope with this, I have a comment:

                              Several people have said she made a mistake and now must raise her chin and deal as well as she can. What mistake did she make? She was on BC, taking care of herself. So she dated an ass - who hasn't? That's no reflection on her.

                              Good luck girl - your mother will probably freak out, but she'll be there for you. Don't worry.
                              ----------------------------------------
                              PSSM / EPSM and Shivers Forum
                              http://pssm.xanthoria.com/
                              ----------------------------------------

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Couldn't agree more Xan.

                                Actually, the baby has some rights regarding parentage. The advice from that 20-year-old flyingstardust is not only kind, but spot on. A family lawyer would be a good person to consult.

                                You are going to get through this thing and be okay!
                                The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. Oscar Wilde

                                Comment


                                • #76
                                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>quote:
                                  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                  Originally posted by hitchinmygetalong:
                                  I haven't read all the posts here but having had three babies I find it almost inconceivable (sorry, bad pun, unintentional) that anyone could be eight-plus months pregnant and not suspect something was amiss.
                                  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                  I just had to say, I was pregnant for three months and didn't know. I can see where it is possible.

                                  After several weeks of feeling "not quite right", I went to my general practitioner. I was tired (mono). I was nauseous (flu). I had severe indigestion (acid reflux disease). My breasts grew (side effect of going off birth control). I lost several pounds and then started to gain weight (once again- hormone related). When I finally called my doctor to tell him the news- he was silent- dead silent. Oops. What did they teach him in medical school anyway?

                                  You never know. Everyone has different symptoms- or none at all.

                                  Comment


                                  • #77
                                    If adoption is frightening you, just remember that these days, there is such a thing as "Open Adoption" - my brother and sister-in-law went through that when they adopted their daughter, and it has turned out wonderfully.

                                    They were there when she had the child, and they remain in touch with the birth mother - visits, etc. My niece is a wonderful kid, well adjusted and a very solidly nice teenager now! I think the open part worked well for all involved.

                                    Good luck in whatever your decide - however, get some solid counseling and get it sooner than later! For the kid's sake.
                                    co-author of 101 Jumping Exercises & The Rider's Fitness Program; Soon to come: Dead Ringer - a tale of equine mystery and intrique! Former Moderator!

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      Just My Style - Were you still having your period during those three months? Seems like that would be a tip-off but so odd it was missed that long! Just wondering if I have to start peeing on a stick every month, even though my period arrived.

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        JMS, the first three months, yes. I can see not knowing...although you did feel not quite right. Rarely does it show that early.

                                        But she's at nearly 8 months? I would think something would be showing at that point...enough to make you wonder what is going on?

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          Only adding my prayers and good thoughts headed your way, and I too think that it can and does happen, even to people who have had babies before. I worked as a Labor and Delivery nurse for 12 years...I saw it all, and it happens just like she said more than anyone realizes. I do not know what part of the country you are in, but in Tennessee, state law says that "whoever the mom is legally married to at the time of the birth of the child is the father" and is put on the birth certificate and the child is given the last name of whatever the mom's LEGAL last name is. On the flip side that has caught some women and men off guard when they are "not legally separated" but not divorced and are having the child of their new boyfriend, and the last name of the child becomes whomever the mom is LEGALLY still married to, because that is her legal last name. Something for you to check into maybe?
                                          Member of the \"I LOFF my Mare!\", Re-riders and "Sisterhood of the SmoothStride Pants" cliques!

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X