Fell off my horse, went to get Xrays, then found another surprise...

[buff4948]

TIMA - hang in there, it's a tough situation you're in and you're handling it in a very mature fashion. <<<<<<<HUGS>>>>&g t;>>

[sfrider]

TIMA - Is there any chance you are embarrassed about your situation? I only say this because you say nobody in your barn knows. Anyway, my point is ... Don't be! You are an adult and you were responsibly using birth control. There is nothing at all to be ashamed about. I can understand you wanting to keep your privacy, especially if you choose adoption. You don't need to explain yourself to everyone under the sun.
As a mother with 2 young children, all I can say is it is very very difficult and if you are not mentally prepared for it (and you can never really be) what a beautiful gift you will be giving a deserving couple. Good luck to you in your pregnancy and decision.

[Velvet]

Wow, that's tough. I love that one of the options you're considering is adoption. I strongly disagree with talking to Planned Parenthood, they'll talk you out of it and into another option to make a buck (that's because they are not altruistic and do not have your best interests at heart as do your family and friends). Talk to your family, boyfriend and friends and make a decision based upon that information. Do what YOU know is best.

Good luck. I hope you are very happy with whatever decision you make. After hearing what you've said, I know you'll make the right one for you and your baby!

[horsecrazy100]

Although I have no idea what you're going through, I just want you to know that I'll be praying for you. My thoughts are with you.

[ponygrl]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Wow, that's tough. I love that one of the options you're considering is adoption. I strongly disagree with talking to Planned Parenthood, they'll talk you out of it and into another option to make a buck (that's because they are not altruistic and do not have your best interests at heart as do your family and friends). Talk to your family, boyfriend and friends and make a decision based upon that information. Do what YOU know is best.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

now I have to disagree with this. She is way too far along for them to even suggest what you are alluding to. Thats not on anyone's agenda at this point. My last two gynecologists (nurse practitioners) worked for PP for 20+ years each and only have glowing recommendations for the organization.

I dare to go out on a limb and say that even they would push the adoption route at this point as well. The point is _planned_ parenthood, as in, it happening when you want it to.

off soap box. Good luck TIMA - you are in my thoughts.

[Erin]

Velvet, that was a really ignorant thing to say. And somehow I have the feeling that you've never actually set foot IN a Planned Parenthood clinic. I have. A very good friend of mine also worked for them for number of years. (Which took guts, considering how often they got bomb threats.) Every time I've been in one of their clinics, there has been abundant information on adoption.

A good friend was also counseled there after an unplanned pregnancy... and chose adoption.

Sorry, don't want to hijack the OP's thread, so that's the last I'll say on it. I just couldn't let that statement go unchallenged.

[Velvet]

Erin,

I can't imagine why you are breaking the BB rules and going after me. I'm assuming you are the one who has problems with the issue for their bomb threats. I never mentioned that. I only told the original poster that I thought it was wrong that she be pointed to an outside resource that is a BUSINESS and will always look at their bottom line when giving information. This person has a support group she can turn to and one with her best interests at heart. She needs to turn to her family and friends for correct information and for the needed support--this is where I disagreed with those pointing her to PP.

Calling me ignorant of facts when you don't know that my information is from someone who worked for PP for 14 years is really in poor form. (And it's especially ironic since you've often called me up on the carpet for smaller rule infractions in the past. )

I hope the OP is ignoring this and instead focusing on the good wishes of the people out here and the support of her family and friends.

[Albion]

Uh, isn't PP a not-for-profit organization?

[Velvet]

As I said, this is not what this topic is about and I think it's not in her best interests to continue. If you want to talk about the definition of a business and where they get their funds, I'll be happy to talk about it in a PT.

I just think a discussion about a business (or if you prefer a money making organization) that deals with a hot political topic should be removed from this current post.

I hope the OP talks to her family and friends about the baby.

[ponygrl]

as far as I can tell, the OP has told (select) friends and family and has already met with an adoption agency and is in the process of selecting a family for the child.

It seems a little late in the game to be playing this political game, both in the thread the the OP's gestation.

[soloudinhere]

If Planned Parenthood is only helping people for the money, why do I give to the Planned Parenthood league of Massachusetts every year? clearly they must not need my support.

Planned Parenthood is a funded organization that has nonprofit status. Their "bottom line" doesn't matter because they cannot legally be making over a certain amount. By the way, not all planned parenthood locations will perform abortions or support them, so it's a rash generalization to say that that's what they're going for. No sane doctor would even THINK of suggesting an abortion at 35 or 36 weeks.

Also, Planned Parenthood is not an adoption agency. Their sole job is to counsel you on your choices and refer you to some place or person that can execute those for you, not to do what's in their best interests.

It's fine if you don't agree with Planned Parenthood or abortion, Velvet, but to tell a poster in need of good, correct advice to turn down a very viable resource of that. Parents and friends are biased people based on their knowledge of a person and their own wants and needs, and often information that is possessed by people these days is wrong or incomplete. Rejecting an objective source of up to date information is a bad idea, as is rejecting free-of-charge counseling.

While she does have people that support her, both here and in the "real world" talking to someone who's seen a LOT of people in her situation would not be a bad idea on any front. She can always reject what they have to say as not right for her.

Political card was uncalled for, really has nothing to do with the situation at hand, and the fact that you think it does tells me that your advice should be taken as opinion only and thought of with a grain of salt.

TIMA- congratulations on taking this so well and I'm so glad to hear you're doing fine. Best of luck to you and your fiance in this time.

[sbock]

TIMA - Pls check your PTs! sbock

[Savvy Mom]

To change the subject, I just wanted to implore you when it comes to labor and delivery, to do what YOU need to do to have a positive birth experience!! As a mom who had two completely different labor and deliveries, one with drugs, a posterior positioning, and a c-section, and one with an anterior positioning, no drugs (literally didn't need them) and a vaginal birth, there's simply no way to know what your labor will be like. The beautiful thing is that, as women, none of us do! We're all in this together, no matter how long you've had to prepare or not.

Do not let ANYONE tell you, friend, nurse, or otherwise that you're a failure if you
use pain medication, opt for a section, etc. That's a bunch of total garbage. No one knows your labor but you! I can say this in all honesty because I opted for the section with my son (a long story, but not a decision I regret to this day,) and fought like he** to get a v-bac birth for my daughter. Their circumstances were completely different. If I had had a third, I can tell you with almost certainty, that would have been completely different too.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm on a soapbox, but I'm passionate about this. You are a smart, bright, and articulate young woman who has chosen to make wonderful decisions for herself and her baby. Don't let anyone pull the wool over your eyes on this one!

Big, big hugs to you!!

Savvy Mom
-Proud Founder of the Appendix QH Clique, member of the OTTB and I Love My Mare Cliques

[Linus]

Oh dear. Please don't let another good thread go down that road.

I think it's always a good point that friends and family probably give better, or at least less biased advice than might Planned Parenthood. FWIW an adoption agency is going to be giving biased advice, too -- and often have a financial stake in the outcome as well. I didn't see anything "political" in Velvet's advice; I've known people who've had less than glowing experiences with the org. I am 100% pro-choice, if that matters.

Topic? You're in my thoughts and prayers, TIMA; I can only hope that if I ever found myself in your circumstances, I would have a tenth of your strength & grace.

[Timex]

and Velvet, just for your own edification, i went to planned parenthood when i first found out i was pregnant, about 6 weeks. and they have been nothing but supportive and kind, and encouraged me to KEEP my baby, even though i had several other options. i have nothing but praise for Planned Parenthood. and i regularely take my son with me to my appointments tehre, and they love seeing how he's grown since they saw him last. So please try to refrain from making such ignorant comments. While you may have some preconcieved notions as to what Planned Parenthood is all about, those ideas are very, very wrong and contrary as to what the organization is about.

[gully's pilot]

TIMA--this is a tough situation, and I admire your strength.

My son's best friend is adopted. And that boy's brother--and the children of our friends who came for Thanksgiving--and another friend's son--and another--and another friend's three daughters--

--all of these parents were unable to bear children. Some couldn't conceive; some had multiple miscarriages. All these children are loved and well cared for.

Adoption is a lovely gift. You can create a family.

[HSM]

I haven't been here in a while but I popped in and saw this thread, and just had to comment to the original poster. My thoughts are with you; I am an adoptive parent (kids are teens now) and I commend you for your ability to be so selfless when you have been hit so unexpectedly with so little time to prepare. I also want to urge you to follow the advice of the poster who suggested seeking support for yourself going forward, after the baby is born. Hopefully you are working with a qualified agency that will help you with this and that will enable you to continue to be at peace with the decision you have made. God bless you and best of luck to you.

[Magnolia]

I've never been pregnant, but as one of the many uninsured in this world, I go to Planned Parenthood for the yearly exams so important to monitoring our health. It costs me $90, and I get general health counseling with a physiscian for 15-20 minutes as well. For me to go to a standard OB-GYN would be 4 times that amount, and I doubt they would even see me without the obligatory "new patient exam" ($200 + at most offices).

So, whatever your stand on abortion, planned parenthood is helping make sure that those of us uninsured women have a place to go to monitor our health and receive preventative birth control without going broke. I'm sure if the OP was uninsured that PP would provide her with a lower cost wellness exam to make sure her baby was healthy as well....

[Skeezix]

TIMA,

Glad you are getting good information.

I understand what you mean about the control issue. I plan everything and when I found out I was pregnant, one of the biggest things that freaked me out were many of the same feelings you are experiencing. I am glad you went to child birth class. Some of my friends thought I was crazy to go through Lamaze classes because I went by myself. It felt strange at first because, like you said there were all these women there with their husbands, and I was the only one by myself. The first couple of weeks I felt strange, but everyone was so warm and supportive, it was a wonderful experience. The most important thing for me was the knowledge I gained. When things started happening I knew exactly what was going on, what stage we were in, etc. I understood all of the terms, and that helped keep me calm because I always knew what was going on--a sort of control if you will.

Take care and hang in there, it will all be okay. Lots of hugs coming your way!

[sagebrush]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by seahorsefarms:
how is this horse related????????????? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh My! Does your compassion for animals not extend to your fellow human beings in need?