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Silly, Silly Man

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  • Silly, Silly Man

    The man I have been dating has been having serious issues with the time I spend with my horse. I told him, never make a horse woman choose between spending time with you or spending time with her horse. You will not want to hear the truth.

    So he was a jerk and told me that I need to set a schedule and stick to it.

    I am not going to miss him. pfft.

    Silly man..or stupid.
    OTTB - Hurricane Denton - Kane - the big dog!
    Tuggy - RIP 9/12/2016 - Wait for me at the bridge
    Foster LolaMaria AKA LolaBean (Boxer)

  • #2
    Precisely why I have an "ex-husband"
    "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

    Comment


    • #3
      I rememer those days. I didn't marry a guy that was into horses, I married the guy who never complained about the time I spent with them. Before Mr. Way, most of my boyfriends would start to whine "I feel like you'd rather be with your horse than me." And after a few rounds of that, whadya know, it was true

      And ironically, because DH never made those sorts of statements I was much more inclined to set aside time for him.

      Better to hash that stuff out early in a relationship than try to make it work and end up in a miserable marriage where you both resent each other.
      "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
      -Edward Hoagland

      Comment

      • Original Poster

        #4
        I have no issues making compromises but they have to make them also sometimes. I was doing all the compromising and he was getting his way.

        Um..no.

        I support myself.
        OTTB - Hurricane Denton - Kane - the big dog!
        Tuggy - RIP 9/12/2016 - Wait for me at the bridge
        Foster LolaMaria AKA LolaBean (Boxer)

        Comment


        • #5
          Yup...not a compatable match for a horse lover!!! Better to know it early before you waste too much saddle time!!!
          www.crosscreeksporthorses.com
          Breeders of Painted Thoroughbreds and Uniquely Painted Irish Sport Horses in Northeast Oklahoma

          Comment


          • #6
            My poor husband married me before I got back into horses. Poor guy had NO idea how our lives would be turned upside down by the presence of the Golden Morgan in our lives. It was a good sign when he traded in his truck for a larger one that could pull my newly purchased trailer better.

            He actually loves my horse, though he has no interest in riding.
            You have to have experiences to gain experience.

            1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't want to sound too nuts here...but I guess I feel the need to throw this out.

              THere was a time when I had a horse in training and I can remember getting in arguments with my then fiance about getting home to ride when he wanted me to hang out on the boat for a 3 day weekend.I couldn't FATHOM not riding for 2 days in a row. Good gollly!

              Well, that ex is still a good friend, and now both he and I are happily married and let me tell you, as much as I love my horse and my horse life, it's not my #1 anymore. Sure, if she's sick or injured she is #1. But on a day to day basis? No. Not anymore. And we've been together 22 years.

              My horse and me that is.

              My husband has never challenged my horse time. But I think that having a husband and a family has made me WANT to change my horse time some.

              Best wishes.
              A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

              Might be a reason, never an excuse...

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by BuddyRoo View Post
                I don't want to sound too nuts here...but I guess I feel the need to throw this out.

                THere was a time when I had a horse in training and I can remember getting in arguments with my then fiance about getting home to ride when he wanted me to hang out on the boat for a 3 day weekend.I couldn't FATHOM not riding for 2 days in a row. Good gollly!

                Well, that ex is still a good friend, and now both he and I are happily married and let me tell you, as much as I love my horse and my horse life, it's not my #1 anymore. Sure, if she's sick or injured she is #1. But on a day to day basis? No. Not anymore. And we've been together 22 years.

                My horse and me that is.

                My husband has never challenged my horse time. But I think that having a husband and a family has made me WANT to change my horse time some.

                Best wishes.
                Yeah but it's different if you decide on your own, versus being backed into a corner like the OP was.
                *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  #9
                  What really torqued me off is that he knew I did horses and rode. It is not a passing fancy that i only do when there is nothing else. Horses are the reason that I go to my job where my soul is sucked out daily. They are my time to just decompress from the work e day.

                  He had been picking at me all week about the horse and time I spend with them. We don't live together at all. So why should my $$ impact him. We had been talking about living together but with this recent behavior HELL no.

                  He told me that dating is a job interview..and that I wasn't doing well. I turned and looked at him. Well if it was a job interview you would be mucking stalls because that is how badly you are doing now. Actually not even cleaning stalls, but moving manure pile around.

                  It is going to be interesting to see if he calls me Sunday.
                  OTTB - Hurricane Denton - Kane - the big dog!
                  Tuggy - RIP 9/12/2016 - Wait for me at the bridge
                  Foster LolaMaria AKA LolaBean (Boxer)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I likely would have told him I wasn't interested in the job
                    where am I, what day is it, am I still having a good time?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by AppendixQHLover View Post
                      He told me that dating is a job interview..and that I wasn't doing well.
                      But what an opening to fire him as a boyfriend. Seriously, if you already have one soul-sucking job, do you really need a boyfriend who sees a romantic relationship as being another?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I make it clear upfront that under no uncertain terms that my animals - and by extension my farm - come first. I've been very fortunate to have dated people who "get it", or at least get that I have a very busy life outside of them. But then again, those are the sort of people I seem to attract. I'm not interested in being someone's only focus and they certainly aren't going to be mine.

                        The one thing that has been a deal breaker in the past is the fact that in my mid 20s, I am established, own my own home and rent an apartment up north and I have no plans to change that in the foreseeable future. I've also had a few comments about the fact that my parents are building right next door (Okay, 20 acres away, but still. They are, however, awesome people and VERY respectful. I am quite looking forward to sharing a fence line with them!). So basically, anyone I'm with for the long haul is going to have to move into my life. Interestingly enough, that's never seemed an issue with the women I've dated, but the men? Different story all together. Thankfully, I'm not terribly interested in being married...ever and I'm just as happy having someone who I can, erm, have a good time with as someone I am actually in a relationship with.

                        Sorry your SO is being such a d-bag, OP. People can really suck sometimes
                        Nine out of ten times, you'll get it wrong...but it's that tenth time that you get it right that makes all the difference.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I hope you will conveniently lose all of your phones and forget how to turn on the computer on Sunday. A JOB INTERVIEW/! yuck Blow me away with love, that is so sad.
                          "We, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit." JFK

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Job interview? I would have some choice words. Never answer his call again, that is such an asinine comment. Please.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Aye this is my hubby and my biggest fight... the funny thing is that I am down to one horse now where I had 2 and 3 pre marriage and in the beginning of marriage. I have scaled back from what I was when he met me..

                              I always remind him that I never hid this horse obsession lol!

                              When you all figure out how to get them to understand our love please help me!
                              ::Karley::

                              Henry (House of Fortuny) 7 yr old OTTB
                              http://dondeestahenry.blogspot.com/

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Originally posted by AppendixQHLover View Post
                                What really torqued me off is that he knew I did horses and rode. It is not a passing fancy that i only do when there is nothing else. Horses are the reason that I go to my job where my soul is sucked out daily. They are my time to just decompress from the work e day.

                                He had been picking at me all week about the horse and time I spend with them. We don't live together at all. So why should my $$ impact him. We had been talking about living together but with this recent behavior HELL no.

                                He told me that dating is a job interview..and that I wasn't doing well. I turned and looked at him. Well if it was a job interview you would be mucking stalls because that is how badly you are doing now. Actually not even cleaning stalls, but moving manure pile around.

                                It is going to be interesting to see if he calls me Sunday.
                                Count yourself lucky.

                                The word is "controlling".

                                And it will not stop with the horse.

                                Tell him to hit the road.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Oh I can throw a lot of COTHisms at this one.

                                  Let's start with one I've read a lot recently: when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

                                  Followed up with... job interview? make a schedule and keep to it? WHERE'S THE FRUITBAT?!

                                  And I'll finish up with a new spin on a sentimental favorite: better a day too soon than a minute too late!
                                  Shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you? You are at your very best when things are worst.
                                  Starman

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Probably best to let this one go.

                                    The right person is the one you want to put ahead of the horses, because they are the one who never asks you to.
                                    For the horse color genetics junky

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Yuck!

                                      I find there are few people who "get it" including horse people. I'm pretty darned serious about the horses, have them at home, try to ride two a day plus gym. On top of that, I have friends and a social life, and of course work more than 40 hours/week, family time, etc.

                                      I find most guys very quickly want me to be free to spend time with them nearly daily. It's only the guys who have a passion of their own who understand 1) horses are living creatures so I have to be responsible and reliable for them and 2) I want to spend a lot of time with them. The busiest guys with their own interests are the ones with whom I end up spending the most time, as we both have to work out ways to spend time together and there isn't the resentment men who have no life of their own seem to have. They're also the ones who get that my having a passion isn't a knock on them, but rather part of who I am - and that I will fit them in if I want to and if I fit them in it's a good thing.
                                      Originally posted by Silverbridge
                                      If you get anything on your Facebook feed about who is going to the Olympics in 2012 or guessing the outcome of Bush v Gore please start threads about those, too.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        It's not about the guy not "understanding horses," it's about him wanting control. If it wasn't horses, it would be something else. . .anything that "distracts" you from being available to him whenever he wants you.

                                        I was in one of those relationships for a while. It's not worth it. He knew from the beginning that I owned a horse, that I rode very frequently, and I told him directly that having horses is not a hobby you can put on the shelf or park in the garage. He said it was "cool" and he understood, but he really didn't get it.

                                        He got the boot.
                                        Please copy and paste this to your signature if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Lets raise awareness.

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