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WWYD? Tricky situation.. Update pg 2

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  • #21
    Get her back. Period. If you have to put her down a year from now, so be it, she'll be safe and happy with you until that day. She doesn't need to bounce around from one place to another, having babies to pay her rent. You owe her safety and comfort. If you can't swing it let her eat a bag of carrots and go over The Bridge.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.


    • #22
      Originally posted by FalseImpression View Post
      I would work my ass off. I cannot understand people who have horses for a long time and say they love them for the many years of good relationship, but then decide to go with a younger horse... sounds like a husband who wants a 20 something vs the woman who gave him years of her life and his children. AND you are the one who decided to breed her... and you are telling her "I like your kid better".. sorry to be harsh...

      Sorry... that's why we have a 20 year old and my daughter takes lessons on other horses. I would never give up on the old mare...

      Good luck
      I agree yet don't agree. If it was someone who wasn't trying to find the mare a good home and just passing her off to the first person who comes along and washes her hands of the mare is one thing.

      Horses are expensive, and they're not like a dog or cat who you can care for in your home, and if they are lame (dog or cat) it's not a reason to move them on (well, for most dog or cat owners).

      MOST horse owners really want a horse that can be ridden, not a crime or a bad thing. And when a horse goes lame and only one horse can be afforded, I see nothing wrong in trying to find the lame horse an appropriate home or putting them down. There are thoses out there that love a pasture ornament and can afford one. Not many but there are some.

      Now, personally myself, RIGHT NOW I am blessed in that I have my own farm (who knows though what can happen in the future) so I have my old blind horse (had him for 8 years, he's about 21-22 now) I have Leo, the old blind coth cutie mini (who is doing wonderful! I need to update his post with pics so everyone can see him.) and I bought a horse that was in a bad situation (heaves, bad hip, stuck in a stall with no feed when owner lost his job) that we put her to pasture for 2 years (with feed and supplements, but no more stall for her) and she lived a wonderful life as a crotchity old mare queen till we finally had to put her down.
      I want a signature but I have nothing original to say except: "STHU and RIDE!!!

      Wonderful COTHER's I've met: belleellis, stefffic, snkstacres and janedoe726.


      • #23
        Originally posted by oliverreed View Post
        Personally I'd pick door # 3. Work freaking ass off and get mare back.
        Yes, this, ditto, a thousand dittos, especially if she's one of those special old mares which it sounds like she is.
        Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
        Sam: A job? Does it pay?
        Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
        Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


        • #24
          You will regret it if you let her go. This is an opportunity.

          After reading your story, I don't think you dumped her. FWIW.


          • #25
            I realize you have tried sincerely, but you still had guilt feelings. They will never go away if, one or another, you do not get her back. At least, you chose right because the person did get in touch with you and is giving you options. So many times we hear of the horse being sold on without the previous owner being contacted.
            You got that chance. Take it!!


            • #26
              it's not easy, but you know what to do.

              You tried to find a great home but that's not the case and fortunately you have a chance to try again.

              Think of it this way. If you knew all that you know now, you would not have let her go there.

              So you are still looking for the right home. Thank you for caring. Do the right thing.


              • #27
                Originally posted by Ghazzu View Post
                Go with the lease, and spend the time finding a better situation for when it ends.
                I have to agree with this.


                • #28
                  You say she's a well bred mare. What breed? What discipline?

                  Feel free to PM me if you want.
                  Home of Sea Accounts xx
                  AHS/HV, ATA, GOV, RPSI, JC, AQHA, APHA, APtHA
                  "LIKE" www.facebook.com/SeaAccounts


                  • #29
                    Originally posted by Laurierace View Post
                    This is my vote as well. Believe it or not, I just went through this exact same situation except my mare can no longer be bred which is all anyone wanted to do with her because she has amazing foals. Thankfully my mare is sound but green. It took a while but if I searched the world over it could not have had a happier ending.
                    Don't know her breeding but maybe one of the people Laurie turned down would be a good fit for your mare. Miracles do happen.

                    You tried and it didn't work. So now you can start the process over again and hopefully find a new home for her by the time the foal is weaned.


                    • #30
                      Originally posted by Ghazzu View Post
                      Go with the lease, and spend the time finding a better situation for when it ends.
                      "Those who know the least often know it the loudest."


                      • #31
                        I would take her back and try to find a new situation for her after the lease as well. Also, I would think about actually putting a price on her as opposed to giveaway. I have found in my albeit limited experience with buying/selling giveaways usually attract yahoos, well-meaning but clueless, or worse. There are good people looking for freebies and you can always price her low and negotiable. Might help with the riff-raff. Also, many people assume giveaways have huge problems. Maybe she isn't rideable, but if she is a good mom, babysitter, etc, she may be worth her weight in gold to a breeding barn in the right discipline/breed. Try to reach out to those barns/trainers as much as you can and include references to her current foals. I'm sure you've tried this of course, and I do not think you dumped her at all. I applaud your efforts on doing right by the mare and wish you luck!

                        Becky & Red
                        In Loving Memory of Gabriel, 1998-2005 and Raalph, 1977-2013


                        • Original Poster


                          I had a lengthly, and honest chat with the person who has my mare, and I really just needed to take a deep breath with all of this.

                          Person is ga ga over her, and the living arrangements they have set-up are actually quite nice. She will foal out in a brand new large stall with a tidy 3 acre adjacent paddock, separate from the (extremely ancient) donkey, and on the other side of the property from the stallion (who actually couldn't care less about mares or other horses, as it turns out). She has an experienced QH breeder who lives right next door who will be attending the foaling should a problem arise, and has even invited me to help her foal watch as we get closer to her due date. She's also switched vets, to the one who has known my mare for 12 years who has been present to help with the mares previous foalings.

                          Mare looked relaxed and content out grazing when I visited the property, and since speaking with them she's been texting me little updates which is great. They've been discovering her little quirks and antics over the past few days since having her home, and they've been sharing them with me. Quite cute, and makes me feel better knowing that they appreciate her fun personality.

                          All is well!


                          • #33
                            Glad it seems like it may work out.

                            I just rehomed my old mare to have babies too. Like your mare she was no longer rideable at a level that was useful for my program (for lessons or me), but bored...and had really liked being a mom previously, so found her a home with a breeder.

                            Felt guilty as I have had her since birth, but the new owner has a better facility for a retired mare (big pastures to roam) and I have to get over the idea that only I can care for her the right way.

                            I hope it all works out for both our mares.
                            Freeing worms from cans everywhere!


                            • #34
                              Glad it seems to be going better, I would ask if they would be open to an annual lease situation so in case things go sour you can take her back. Sounds like she has earned you always making sure she has a soft place to land.