• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Your forum sign-up is not complete, you must add an Alias/Screen Name before you can post to the forums. Your name and email is not exposed to Forum users, only the Screen Name is accessible or viewable. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Looking for tactful advice for clueless parents :-(

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 Next
  • #21
    I have been in this situation. I have just been honest and said that I can't condone the horse being shown. I refuse to be one of 'those' trainers who do take lame horses. I too have seen horses in the ribbons who should not be in the ring. Often the judges don't want to be the 'bad' guy and ignore what they see in front of them.

    Comment

    • #22
      Isn't there a veterinarian in the picture? I should think theirs would be the final word on what is done to this damaged, in-pain horse.

      Comment

      • #23
        Originally posted by Kwill View Post
        Try, "as your trainer and your daughter's coach, I can't take a lame horse to a show, as it would reflect badly on me and it's unlikely she would place in a class on this horse, which would be disappointing to both of us. The judge might ask your daughter to leave, but they also know she is being coached by me. I hope you can understand. Your horse is in pain and his show days are over, I am sorry."
        I think this would be the best route, I guess I like the wording.

        Also, I agree with high hat, I've seen unsound horses show and sometimes place. No one wants to be the bad guy anymore . Be an advocate for the horse, OP.
        COTH's official mini-donk enabler

        "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl

        Comment

        • #24
          I dunno. I think I'd make up various reasons for why you can't get her to the show. In the long run, the horse is being used and alive. When it becomes very clear to girl and parents that the horse is permanently lame, what happens to the horse? Not good.

          I used to think that the schooling barn with their ancient horses was cruel and why didn't they have nice better looking horses. It wasn't until I was much, much older that I saw they were taking care of their oldies as long as possible.
          They accommodated their shortcomings and took into account their routines and took care of them in return for a light load of beginner children.

          Comment

          • #25
            I have to agree with the person who mentioned that if it is just one or two walk trot classes at a lesson type horse show I am guessing Dobbin will be fine.

            Other than that you might also want to remind yourself when you pull up your big girl panties to face this mother/daughter that I would guess the same mother who does not want to tell her daughter that she can not show is probably going to refuse to pay you trucking and day fee when the daughter gets excused from the ring after once around.

            Be honest with the mother and daughter. Dobbin can not show because he is too lame. He is fine for light hacking at home, he is not fine for a show. Insert whatever rules you want to use to buffer your point and then suggest ways that daughter can participate in the show. If another horse is not an option how about grooming for her friend. Is this a local type show that she could volunteer to ring master at?

            Comment

            • Original Poster
              #26
              Thank you all for the great replies and suggestions. Dobbin is fine for light work, walk trot, beginner horse camp riding but definitely not to show, even with hock injections. I definitely wouldn't take him to the show but always try to remain professional in my dealings with clients. As I've never encountered someone who wants to show a lame horse before, after my initial shock of why would you even consider showing a lame horse, I didn't feel I got my message through to mom on why he shouldn't show. I will try some of your suggestions and yes, No, is a complete sentence.

              Thanks

              Comment

              • #27
                Let us know how it goes! It's tough position to be in, but at least you are the authority in the matter, and not a frustrated bystander.

                Comment

                • #28
                  Originally posted by unalteralter79 View Post
                  ... The mother (clueless) said that she does not want to tell the daughter that she can't show and she will let the judge tell her...
                  Inform Mom that the judge (except at a Dressage show) is not required to provide reasons for their decisions or written evaluations to each exhibitor/parents and usually has no time for personal conferences...she just probably won't place. Then YOU get to explain why after they waste money getting there and entering. And she will say "WHY didn't you say something before?". Even if you did and they did not listen.

                  Of course, at some of these shows, 70% of them are at least NQR and riders don't know it, some less then observant judges too, so you can't count on her not placing. But YOU know that horse is lame and should not place.

                  Sounds like a PITA client, maybe you'll get lucky and they will leave when you put the kabash on showing the lame horse or loading him up with drugs
                  When opportunity knocks it's wearing overalls and looks like work.

                  The horse world. Two people. Three opinions.

                  Comment

                  Previous 1 2 Next
                  Working...
                  X