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When Is Enough Enough? (switching barns)

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  • #21
    I agree with the majority of postings on this topic. There seems to be so many issues to be resolved and if there hasnt been any resolution yet, it seems to me there wouldnt be in the future.
    i also think if the economy continues to decline then it is even more important to support those trainers, barns etc that provide true quality of care for both boarders and horses. I am guessing everyone else is seeing the huge increase in board costs, feed etc. Everyone is trying to make money and save money. some are doing it fairly and honestly while others cut corners every way possible..
    ok, getting off my diatribe

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    • #22
      Seeing as we only have your written post to go by, you do not sound like a spoiled brat to me.

      I understand your reluctance to move barns - boarding barns can be scarce in some areas! Add to that the fact your horses probably look well (albeit a bit too much and perhaps a bit too little body fat) you are questioning yourself as to whether you are being a pain in the ass or you do have legitimate concerns.

      I hate hate hate when people aren't honest. You can't really discuss anything with the BO as you know she lies to you. If only she would be honest with you it would be so much easier. She could let you know she won't be doing what you ask, and you could decide if you can live with it or not.

      It sounds to me like you have reached the point of no return. Change is almost always for the better (a good friend told me that!) and I would guess you will find a situation that suits you better and you will realize how much stress you were under worrying all the time.

      Something I wish I had done in the past - in public make your reasons for leaving all logistical ones. Barn too far, horsie does better on pasture, discipline change...

      The not being truthful about the eating habits of a sick horse, and not getting daily meds - those are pretty big issues.

      Add me to the I love my trainer and BO clique!

      Comment


      • #23
        Originally posted by FineAlready View Post
        I will not tolerate a BO who lies to me. That alone is grounds to leave because you know you cannot trust the person in charge of your horses' day to day care. Not okay.
        I agree with this, and apply the same rule to BO, BM, trainer, vet, farrier, spouse, etc. It might be a little lie (of course your horse was turned out, even though his halter and lead haven't moved in three days and his legs are clean even though paddocks are all mud...), but that usually indicates a willingness to lie about big things too. It is hard to move on, I know, as you really do wonder if it will be even worse at the next place. Devil you know and all that. But I would sure be looking for other options, and definitely talk to other boarders when checking out new places.

        And I will once again count my lucky stars that I have my horses at home now. I'll quit all together rather than have to board in this area again!

        Comment


        • #24
          Do yourself a favor and start looking around! Ask sufficient questions of any potential BOs and ask around to know what you're getting into. I agree with others who say there's more than 20% wrong here.

          The BO must be trustworthy. Not perfect, but trustworthy. This is non-negotiable. When you find that person, you will be sooo much happier.

          You and your horses need to feel at ease and welcome in the environment.

          Likewise, safety and basic feed/care/water are non-negotiable.

          And any concerns about care should be something you and the BO can discuss in a mutually respectful manner.

          If you've thought about leaving, then you're just staying because you're comfortable. But you're really neither comfortable nor happy there. As long as you can find a better place that you can afford, you need to get out.

          Been in your shoes before, unsure about leaving a bad situation. Once I left, both my horse and I just seemed more relaxed and happy. Now I would never go back. I think this will happen to you.

          Good luck!
          Born under a rock and owned by beasts!

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          • #25
            Horsepoor I am with you on so many levels.

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            • #26
              Originally posted by dacasodivine View Post
              Not sure why you've been on the fence for so long. It is clearly time to move. She is putting your horses in danger by overfeeding and not giving meds. This is not acceptable. And then to lie about it? Not acceptable!
              Absolutely agree! Your horses are at risk of too many problems. Go!

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              • #27
                You should move. When you move, just be nice and professional. I recently moved barns, and told them the truth, that the barn just wasn't a good fit for me anymore. I am MUCH happier now

                I think what's hard about your situation is that your leaving your trainer too, and you will probably see her at event, etc... Again, the only thing you can do is be professional. And if your feeling squeamish about it all, just remember you are doing this primarily for your horses. They are NOT getting the kind of care that they should be getting at what sounds like a full service boarding barn.
                Unrepentant carb eater

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                • #28
                  Add me to the list of those saying "my horse's care comes first."

                  Your horses' care is being majorly compromised with the excessive feeding, no meds, etc. How is this only 10-20% of importance to you? Why are you still there?

                  Feeling like you are a low class boarder, actually having to follow the barn rule of cleaning your own stall when your horse is left up, these are minor things. Your horse's care is major.


                  Now I was in an 80-90% okay boarding situation at one time, but my horse's care was 100% okay. I moved and wished I'd done it sooner.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    I am not going to ask why your still there.

                    I read it you have 3 horses at this barn. You are looking to move your horses but not sure if you want to go all the way in without a back up plan.

                    If it was me I would fine some where that I want to try. Give my 30 days notice on my older horse that I can't ride. Move him to the new place and try it for 30-60 days and see if you like it. If it doesn't work them move him back if you like it then give 30 days for your young guy going to the trainers for 2 months. If you are still happy at the new place then give your 30 days for your last guy. This way you are only out 30 days money if you need to move without staying for the last 30 days.

                    You have found a new place and haven't pi$$ed off the BO till you know that you don't want to go back. Also gives you the opition to move the horses back if it is not working at the new place before they are all gone.

                    JMHO
                    My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

                    Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed

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                    • #30
                      The feed issue is the most serious.

                      Move your horse now or you will find the BCS 7 horse foundered not just lame.
                      The BO/Trainer treats you like a doormat and you are being nice about it ansd compounding the problem.
                      3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375 10582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706 79821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081 284811174502841027019385.....

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                      • #31
                        It's obviously easy for posters on the internet to say, "That's outrageous! Just move!"

                        But the reality is choosing the right boarding situation is often a matter of deciding what you can live with, and what you cannot ... given the available choices in your area and price range.

                        If you have options that seem to be a better fit, I would certainly investigate them; it doesn't sound like it would be hard to at least find a place that would feed your horses properly and not lie to your face.
                        **********
                        We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
                        -PaulaEdwina

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                        • #32

                          80-90% happy
                          10-20% unhappiness

                          Sounds by your post these are actually reversed. MOVE.
                          The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings.

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            I am sorry for all that is going wrong and am in a similar situation as you. I have really limited options other than fencing my yard and moving my horse home. Start looking around, talk to different feed stores, my farrier is a great source for barn information. Don't feel guilty about leaving, your horses care comes first. There's nothing worse than pulling in to your own barn after a couple of days not being there thinking...What now? If your choices are limited than consider distance, if it's closer than you can get there more.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Originally posted by horsepoor View Post
                              I agree with this, and apply the same rule to BO, BM, trainer, vet, farrier, spouse, etc. It might be a little lie (of course your horse was turned out, even though his halter and lead haven't moved in three days and his legs are clean even though paddocks are all mud...), but that usually indicates a willingness to lie about big things too.
                              Exactly. Liars are liars. I also consider it unacceptable and grounds to move if I catch a BO lying to another boarder. I've been lied to by BOs/trainers, and it makes me more angry than almost anything else a person can do (short of actually abusing my horse intentionally).

                              It's true that it is not always easy to move or find a new place. Heck, I for sure have experienced that, and have stayed in some places MUCH longer than I should have. But, OP, yes, definitely start looking around and move when you find something that looks to be a good fit. Do your homework, don't act hastily, and you should be able to do better than what you have now.

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                Originally posted by candyappy View Post
                                In my boarding experiences long ago grain, supplements, medicine and any extras were the owners responsibility to feed and purchase. The barn provided hay, water & stall cleaning. Period. Everyone seemed to be able to meet their horses needs without all the drama of today. We were happy boarders and in control of what our horses were fed and medicated with ( if needed).
                                And I am also sure in the boarding experiences you are talking about (long ago) there were also barns that provided all the care an owner could want, including washing, grooming and tacking up your horse, of course you paid for that service. You probably weren't.

                                OP- get out, seriously. I could not imagine lying about the smallest things, what about big things, like if your horse got hurt, would they lie about how it got hurt?

                                As a BO I feed what the owner wants, I don't question, unless I feel strongly they would do better with a different feed. I have several feeds (5) to meet the needs of the horses we have here (only 12 horses.)

                                You shouldn't pay full board and feel like you must be there every. single. day.

                                I have boarders that come by every few weeks. One boarder who has a 26 year old horse told me once she came to board here (and was here about a month) that (that she has had since she was two) she could FINALLY take vacations. She hadn't had one in years, she checked on her horse every. single. day. Now she vacations for up to a month at a time now!
                                I want a signature but I have nothing original to say except: "STHU and RIDE!!!

                                Wonderful COTHER's I've met: belleellis, stefffic, snkstacres and janedoe726.

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                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by Chardavej View Post
                                  I could not imagine lying about the smallest things, what about big things, like if your horse got hurt, would they lie about how it got hurt?
                                  I'll go ahead and answer this one for you: yes. Yes, if the OP's BO will lie about things like feed, then the BO would lie about how a horse got hurt. I'm sure the OP knows that too.

                                  I also agree that the test of a really good barn is whether or not you would feel comfortable leaving your horse there for a week or more without checking on him. I feel that way about the place I currently board, although I do still go out pretty much every day just because I like to and it is close to my house.

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    OP I suspect you are in a tough spot because there is a lack of other boarding facilities within your price range/distance. I've been there. I boarded with a crazy woman who didn't show her true colors for almost a year. A year and a half later I was desperate to move my horses, but was in an area where boarding barns just DID NOT exist. The entire year and a half I felt trapped, and worried about my horse's health and safety (she was THAT crazy) every day. I would go out late at night to feed them hay. Despite them getting nearly 10# of Nutrena Prime and Nutrena Senior A DAY, they were both thin. She had two kinds of hay...crappy grass hay, and a beautiful, green grass mix. My horses were the only ones who wouldn't get a flake of the good hay. She had about 8 of her own horses, then two other boarders (her minions, long story). She accused me of starving my horses, even though SHE was the one feeding them. She would toss out three flakes of the crappy grass hay to two geldings...no wonder they were thin!

                                    I couldn't take it anymore and started browsing local papers and online magazines for boarding options, and found a gentleman 45 minutes away (!!) who had SUPER cheap rates. It was an old dairy farm set on 70 acres, plus 20 acres of neighboring land we could ride on. The horses had large dirt (mud in winter, but unavoidable in IL) paddocks that each had a concrete run-in where they were fed. There was one huge pasture that he would let everyone out in for a couple hours when he got home full of grass.

                                    Now, the pasture fencing was barb wire, I had to supply hay and grain, but he would happily feed twice a day, clean the run-in portion, and let them out/bring them in every day and give them a good once-over at night. That man was a saint. I never regretted moving there, and hated to leave. Within six months my horses were filled out and their grain had been cut in half. My vet even asked what took me so long to move them.

                                    Start looking and asking around. Even if a new place seems less than perfect, look at the other horses on the property, and follow your gut. My horses were so happy at that farm because *I* was happy. Plus we had miles and miles of trails to ride and cows to chase! I never had an issue with the pasture fencing, and when my older horse started chewing on the wood panels in their paddock the BO gladly (and without charge) put up wire panels over the wood to stop him. Good, honest care far outweighs nitpicky things in my mind.
                                    runnjump86 Instagram

                                    Horse Junkies United guest blogger

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                                    • #38
                                      I agree with most of the other posters that your horses are in a dangerous situation. Are they going to die tomorrow? Probably not. But, if they aren't receiving meds and if they're being fed TWICE the amount they should, that consitutes physical danger.

                                      At the very least, it doesn't hurt to look around. And you may find that you discover a hidden gem even if it looks a little iffy at first (like runNjump wrote about). You just have to get out there and do some sleuthing and looking around.

                                      I work part-time at the barn where I board, and I do my utmost to treat every horse as though it were my own. Scrubbing water buckets and troughs, checking and double checking that supplements are in their grain before I feed, cleaning stalls meticulously, and answering any questions I can that the owners may have (or that I feel comfortable answering). It's why folks pay board...isn't that why you pay board? To know they're cared for?

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        With a situation like that, it definitely would NOT take me 2 years of vacillating on whether or not to leave. Geesh.

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                                        • #40
                                          I figure whenever the barn ceases to be a place of fun and becomes one of stress, it is time to move on. I completely understand the indecision part, I did the same thing for about 12 months. I can say, once I made the choice and moved my horses I was SO MUCH happier! No regrets other than not doing it sooner.

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