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Help with tactfully getting out of a very sticky situation.HOW IT ENDED PAGE 17

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  • #301
    Originally posted by LSM1212 View Post
    So please don't tell me to "pipe down". I know much more than you think. And I truly have the best intentions at heart for all parties involved.
    Then please don't bash your friend for asking for advice and taking it. That's not how friends behave.
    In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
    A life lived by example, done too soon.
    www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

    Comment

    • #302
      Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
      Let me get something straight. My gripe wasn't with the situation. It was how it was handled. Once HL told her she was staying out of it, that should have been the end of it. Instead it has turned into a soap opera for all the world to read. That is the problem I have. I understand that originally she asked a question to the forum. After she got her answer that should have been it. Instead she decided to feed all of you the entire situation. Not cool. Especially if you have kids in the same barn.
      h-l tried to handle Parent A politely, and (as it usually does with obnoxious, oblivious people), the courtesy went right over Parent A's apparently empty head. I don't care what you say - if someone were to call you at 11PM to try to bully you into getting involved in a situation you're trying desperately to stay out of, you'd have ripped her a new one, and you know it. h-l didn't, and has tried to keep totally clear of the situation. That, in my book, is class and consideration far above and beyond what Parent A merits. If her kids are reading this, good - best they know what others think of people who behave as Mummy has. Talk about an abject lesson!

      As far as Parent A's parenting skills go, you have no idea. Her two daughters are the nicest and most polite children you would ever want to be around. She was just trying to the best for her daughters as far as the pony is concerned.
      Oh yeah - she was trying her best, all right; to get h-l to help her screw Parent B with a contract. Jesus Christ on a crutch.

      And just so you all know there is no contract between either Parent A or Parent B. The situation was handled face to face with each other. That is the way you handle a situation.
      Not with horse ownership, you don't. Not if you don't want to get screwed, or aren't out to screw someone else.
      Last edited by ESG; Oct. 11, 2008, 09:04 PM.
      In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
      A life lived by example, done too soon.
      www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

      Comment

      • #303
        Originally posted by ESG View Post
        Then please don't bash your friend for asking for advice and taking it. That's not how friends behave.
        ** scratching head ** Ummm... how did I bash her? I just agreed that since kids are involved here... even if you have glowing things to say about them... it had been noted that the kids are reading this BB and it might be best to keep that in mind. And that there are always 2 sides to a story and why I shared my experience with being on the other side. JMO.

        I've told H-L from the start to stay out of it after telling Parent A, when she approached her about the pony, that she didn't think co-ownership was a good idea and then when Parent A didn't listen to her and issues arised, to just give Parent A the name/number of the lawyer she used. And leave it at that. She helped where she could. I would have done the same thing. The rest is up to Parent A. But not to get "sucked" into the situation. And not to discuss it with Trainer, etc. That it should be left up to Parent A, Parent B and Trainer.

        H-L and I both have been in a similar bad situation. So I know where she's coming from. I've just learned that our horse community (and the entire horse community) is a very small world. H-L knows I have her best interest at heart.

        But hey... you don't know me and I don't know you. And you only know H-L via this BB. Where H-L and I know each other in person. And have spent a good deal of time together in the past.

        If I was such a "bad" friend, why would I have helped her find a good place to move her horse w/ a great Trainer, a new farrier to help her horse, etc. and talked to her on the phone and in person numerous times about the crappy situation she was in w/ her horse and now this situation? I shared all of the "leg work" I had already done when I got out of that situation so she didn't have to do it alone like I did.

        Comment

        • Original Poster
          #304
          Originally posted by LSM1212 View Post
          ** scratching head ** Ummm... how did I bash her? I just agreed that since kids are involved here... even if you have glowing things to say about them... it had been noted that the kids are reading this BB and it might be best to keep that in mind. And that there are always 2 sides to a story and why I shared my experience with being on the other side. JMO.

          I've told H-L from the start to stay out of it after telling Parent A, when she approached her about the pony, that she didn't think co-ownership was a good idea and then when she didn't listen and issues arised, to just give Parent A the name/number of the lawyer she used. And leave it at that. She helped where she could. I would have done the same thing. The rest is up to Parent A. But not to get "sucked" into the situation. And not to discuss it with Trainer, etc. That it should be left up to Parent A, Parent B and Trainer.

          H-L and I both have been in a similar bad situation. So I know where she's coming from. I've just learned that our horse community (and the entire horse community) is a very small world. H-L knows I have her best interest at heart.
          And LSM I have heeded your advice (and everyone else's) and stayed out of it... amazing huh??
          Last edited by horse-loverz; Oct. 12, 2008, 02:42 AM.
          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
          ';;;;;;; clique
          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

          Comment

          • #305
            Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
            And LSM I have heeded your advice and stayed out of it... amazing huh??
            Yes you have... and I've very PROUD of you. And you know you can always call me to vent. You know we've both "been there, done that".

            So... when do I get to come over???????

            Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
            I don't think that the drama has spread thoughout the barn other than tension between Parent A and Me.. I know I certainly haven't gone around advertising what an Asshat I am.
            And you know what? If that's the case, you are better off anyways. I've learned to stay clear of that stuff. I definately learned that lesson the hard way. And... you're not an asshat. But that last comment did make me laugh. You just try to help people. *raising hand* Guilty of that too. It's a great quality to have but I've learned to be more picky about giving that help.

            Comment

            • #306
              i dont care what u say u still r mean.

              Comment

              • #307
                Better to be "mean" than stupid & screwed over six ways from Sunday.
                I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
                Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.

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                • Original Poster
                  #308
                  Originally posted by lma View Post
                  i dont care what u say u still r mean.

                  ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                  ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                  ';;;;;;; clique
                  //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                  Comment

                  • #309
                    Is "Ima" referring to you, H-L?

                    Itz hrd 2 tll w no punksuashn & bad spllng dude

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster
                      #310
                      I am guessing it's me but who knows I could barely make out what Paris08 was saying too.

                      ETA: You know all these people who are "mad" at me are all "greenies" never being on this forum before which is one of the reasons I felt ok posting for help here. I have apologized for sharing the info.. but again it really is not much different than gossiping with friends.. granted there is more of an audience but at least the parties involved can read and know exactly what is being said. I am still amazed that someone involved could read this thread.. read the resposes posted by everyone and STILL not get a contract or anything in writing. Again the kids are wonderful well mannered kids.. Parent A is nice but very very nieve to how many ways things can go bad in this deal. I don't know what else to do to remedy the situation of them being mad at me.

                      I feel like I am being called a bad person because I refused to write a one sided contract... then stayed out of their business completely... bad me. I posted on here my observations and opinions..as a place to vent and share..again bad me but the last time I checked I was free to form my own opinions and observations.

                      At the last show I attended with both Parent A and B just last weekend I cheered on both their kids and the pony, giving them congrats after their classes Parent A's kid and I even competed in the same class when they combined the long and short stirrup and she beat me (like I knew she would cause again she is a great rider I was actually kinda disappointed they combined classes because I knew there was NO way I could beat her ) But I had fun.

                      I haven't called either parents names.. (I may of called Parent A a bulldog type of person oops just realized I called parent B an asshat.. my bad... but a spade is a spade) Have never said they were bad or stupid people but their (mainly Parent B's) actions have been less than responsible at times. I don't know what else I can do or how many other ways I can aplolgize.
                      Last edited by horse-loverz; Oct. 14, 2008, 03:28 AM.
                      ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                      ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                      ';;;;;;; clique
                      //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                      Comment

                      • #311
                        Being called mean or bitch generally means that you aren't doing what someone else wants you to do and that something is usually in their best interest and not yours. I wouldn't sweat it. Embrace your inner bitch!
                        Delicious strawberry flavored death!

                        Comment

                        • Original Poster
                          #312
                          Originally posted by EponaRoan View Post
                          Being called mean or bitch generally means that you aren't doing what someone else wants you to do and that something is usually in their best interest and not yours. I wouldn't sweat it. Embrace your inner bitch!


                          You know what is funny.. one of my best friends I work with told me to release my inner bitch just last night...for another situation
                          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                          ';;;;;;; clique
                          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                          Comment

                          • #313
                            I think "bitch" means they just don't understand where you're coming from .

                            Comment

                            • #314
                              There's a very funny bit on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update from last season, when Tina Fey came back to host the show.

                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjFIlLSRGnw

                              They were discussing the use of the word "bitch" and it was hysterical. It's about three minutes into the clip. Two of the best lines are:

                              "Bitches get stuff done!"

                              and

                              "Bitch is the new black."

                              Comment

                              • #315
                                Originally posted by EponaRoan View Post
                                Being called mean or bitch generally means that you aren't doing what someone else wants you to do and that something is usually in their best interest and not yours. I wouldn't sweat it. Embrace your inner bitch!


                                So very true.
                                Great advice.

                                Comment

                                • #316
                                  Originally posted by EponaRoan View Post
                                  Being called mean or bitch generally means that you aren't doing what someone else wants you to do and that something is usually in their best interest and not yours. I wouldn't sweat it. Embrace your inner bitch!

                                  Epona I love you!!!!!

                                  h-l - you just got called Tina Fey!! That ROCKS!!!!!!
                                  Crayola posse ~ Lazer Lemon yellow
                                  Take time to give...it is too short a day to be selfish. - Ben Franklin

                                  Comment

                                  • #317
                                    H_L... you need to stop apologizing for asking for advice on a situation which was clearly uncomfortable for you and not of your doing. IME, there are people in this world who are just always looking for a reason to be offended, and most often they are the same people who operate without compassion or consideration of others.

                                    IMO, you have come across as a very nice, fair, and sympathetic person, and if you lived in my area, I would definitely want you as a friend.
                                    Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                                    Witherun Farm
                                    http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/

                                    Comment

                                    • #318
                                      Originally posted by Trevelyan96 View Post
                                      H_L... you need to stop apologizing for asking for advice on a situation which was clearly uncomfortable for you and not of your doing. IME, there are people in this world who are just always looking for a reason to be offended, and most often they are the same people who operate without compassion or consideration of others.

                                      IMO, you have come across as a very nice, fair, and sympathetic person, and if you lived in my area, I would definitely want you as a friend.
                                      I completely agree. If there is ever a Kentucky get together I hope that I get to meet you and LSM1212.

                                      Comment

                                      • #319
                                        Originally posted by ddashaq View Post
                                        I completely agree. If there is ever a Kentucky get together I hope that I get to meet you and LSM1212.
                                        *Awwww* :blush: I would love to meet you too!

                                        Comment

                                        • #320
                                          Originally posted by lma View Post
                                          i dont care what u say u still r mean.
                                          iz u mor than 10 yeers old? whoo iz ur post speeking 2?

                                          Comment

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