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Help with tactfully getting out of a very sticky situation.HOW IT ENDED PAGE 17

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  • Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
    I am glad to hear everything is good at your new barn. How is your horse doing?
    Not to de-rail this or go too OT... but he's doing FABULOUS. At my barn, there are a few tween/teen girls that do the "chitty chat/talk about boys/occasionally get into "snits" amongst themselves" kinda thing. But nothing I can't handle... it's actually quite amusing. Keeps me young. I just nod my head alot.

    Hope all is well with you and your family. I've thought about you from time to time.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
      Ok Ok... I am an asshat.. I accept that... fine.

      But I have to say.. I did not stick my nose into this willingly... << SNIP >>

      I don't know what else to say I think from now on I will stick to horsey stick art... ( I really am not a snarky poster and am sorry this turned into such a trainwreck)
      I think some of what you posted was out of "old" anger about what happened to you and you didn't want it to happen to someone else. Or anything else similar to that. Though some of the posts were "colorful", I don't think any harm was intended. Emotions can definately take over our thought processes on occasion. Like I said, I've been on the receiving end of this before. And it's not fun from that side either.

      Comment




      • BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


        certainly an interesting twist!

        I find it interesting how some folks need to out the object of conversation by jumping to their aide...

        H-L I don't think you put anything offensive about either parent A or B here, well, not in a criminal way, knickers get wadded up for a lot less anyhow! Nothing one can do about that.


        As to the Ex trainer, you have not said enough about her!

        Some days you just luck out and get hit with the poop of the net! Don't take it too hard, I am sure stick art will find somebody who finds it offensive!

        Comment

        • Original Poster

          Originally posted by Alagirl View Post


          BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


          certainly an interesting twist!

          I find it interesting how some folks need to out the object of conversation by jumping to their aide...

          H-L I don't think you put anything offensive about either parent A or B here, well, not in a criminal way, knickers get wadded up for a lot less anyhow! Nothing one can do about that.


          As to the Ex trainer, you have not said enough about her!

          Some days you just luck out and get hit with the poop of the net! Don't take it too hard, I am sure stick art will find somebody who finds it offensive!
          Oh I could post I whole bunch on ex-trainer...but I have tried to restrain myself. I have even managed to restrain myself from posting something snarky on the threads she has started recently. I figure Karma will get back to her someday and I know she is sitting back enjoying watching this turmoil that I have NO doubt she stirred up in the first place. The most important thing is I have my horse.. he is happy, and all mine now and that is all that really matters in the end. She has shown her true colors and anyone who continues to want to do business with her or associate with her in a business capacity knowing how quickly she will screw you deserves what they get in the end. Like someone said...you can't protect people from themselves.
          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
          ';;;;;;; clique
          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

          Comment


          • Indeed!

            Comment


            • Originally posted by LSM1212 View Post
              Not to de-rail this or go too OT... but he's doing FABULOUS. At my barn, there are a few tween/teen girls that do the "chitty chat/talk about boys/occasionally get into "snits" amongst themselves" kinda thing. But nothing I can't handle... it's actually quite amusing. Keeps me young. I just nod my head alot.

              Hope all is well with you and your family. I've thought about you from time to time.
              All is well with us. We were at your place of employment on Saturday for Family fun day!!

              Comment


              • Oh for Christ's sake! You cannot even tell the truth in a post without the offender getting mad and threatening you!

                You don't owe her an apology, parent A owes you an apology. Her behavior was atrocious and rude,, but I guess that is the norm for most people. The people who are the worse do not recognize themselves when they act like idiots.

                So if she gives you any trouble, call the crayola posse. I'll just un-retire and come help you out. I need to come look at some old ottb mares up there anyway.

                Meanwhile glad your horse is doing well.

                And maybe a stick art of Parent A getting runover by the crayola bus/trailer?
                With LexVA driving and Anyplace Farm in his lap? Or wait, someone else was to drive to help Blind Alter, and Lex was going to drive to rescue Supernatural. I get confused, as I won't be driving or piloting (plane or sub), just riding shotgun.

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  Thanks Cloudy I would loff to see the crayola bus and a bunch of crayola clad COTHers driving up the driveway to the barn I think I would pee myself laughing. Maybe we could find a random child loose in a pasture somewhere and be "facinated" by that as well
                  ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                  ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                  ';;;;;;; clique
                  //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                    All is well with us. We were at your place of employment on Saturday for Family fun day!!
                    Too funny.... but I don't work there anymore! But hubby still does. They downsized last summer and I lost my job. But have a new one for almost a year now. Another large company in our community. PM and I'll let you know the name.

                    H-L: I wouldn't say an apology was really needed, per se. But like you said before, you are staying out of it. Just keep it that way. Though you think the kids are great and have never posted a mean comment about them, that doesn't mean that they don't read what you are saying about their parents. And they can't view it the same as you can as an adult.

                    Comment


                    • horse-loverz doesn't deserve any criticism, as she is not the one who has behaved badly. Parent A is one of the most toxic people I've ever heard of, and Parent B,...............well, all I can say about that is that it's a good thing that God looks out for fools and children, and He'll be pretty damned busy keeping Parent B and his get out of trouble.

                      paris08, jmh1311, LSM1212 - pipe down. horse-loverz started this thread to ask how to politely get Parent A off her back; if you want to lay blame, lay it at the door of the responsible party - Parent A.

                      Oh, and don't think that both Parent A and B's kids don't know exactly what their parents are; as others have said, kids are observant, and not stupid.
                      In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
                      A life lived by example, done too soon.
                      www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

                      Comment


                      • ESG wins thread!
                        "The standard you walk by is the standard you accept."--Lt. Gen. David Morrison, Austalian Army Chief

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by ESG View Post
                          horse-loverz doesn't deserve any criticism, as she is not the one who has behaved badly. Parent A is one of the most toxic people I've ever heard of, and Parent B,...............well, all I can say about that is that it's a good thing that God looks out for fools and children, and He'll be pretty damned busy keeping Parent B and his get out of trouble.

                          paris08, jmh1311, LSM1212 - pipe down. horse-loverz started this thread to ask how to politely get Parent A off her back; if you want to lay blame, lay it at the door of the responsible party - Parent A.

                          Oh, and don't think that both Parent A and B's kids don't know exactly what their parents are; as others have said, kids are observant, and not stupid.
                          Like I said before... I know almost ALL the parties involved (don't know Parent B or Paris08)... we live in the same community and I used to ride and board w/ H-L. She knows I'm her friend... now. And in being so, I don't sugar coat anything. She knows that. All I agreed with is that if the kids are reading this, it might be best to "tone it down" just a tad. I know she's upset about being stuck in the middle. We've talked on the phone about it. And that she is upset about what happened w/ her horse. I would be too. Just as I was when I left that situation too. A year before she did.

                          I never said that what Parent A is doing is right. Nor Parent B for that matter. But again, there are ALWAYS two sides to a story. I haven't spoken to Parent A since earlier this year. She's never done anything to me personally. And I wasn't there for the last year of "chaos" or the current new barn situation so I only know this one side of the story.

                          The reason I take this "two sides of the story" opinion pretty seriously is because I was bashed VERY badly when I left. And many things were said about me that weren't correct. I knew the ET very well. I tried to say something to my old barnmates (nothing bad, just keep an eye out type of thing) but I was told that I was just being mean and spiteful. And H-L defended the ET at that time... on this BB... when I was expressing my frustration and or new triumphs. So I just sat back and let it go. Figured they would either keep trucking on a long w/ ET or figure out on their own what was best for them.

                          H-L and I have dicussed this in person and on the phone... what I thought she should do about this particular situation (stay out of it) and her previous big situation. I shared my thoughts... and then have left it up to her to do what she feels is best.

                          So, I think I've been nothing but a friend to H-L even after what happened before. When she needed a place to go after her "hiding" place, she spoke to me about all the places she was looking in to and I gave her my opinion on each one as I had already gone down that road when I was getting ready to leave. The place she is at now, isn't advertised and wasn't on her list. But I knew about it and I gave her the info for it. And that's the barn she is at now. And I gave her my farrier's name and number to check into. And that's who she is using. Along w/ my MT person.

                          So please don't tell me to "pipe down". I know much more than you think. And I truly have the best intentions at heart for all parties involved.
                          Last edited by LSM1212; Oct. 10, 2008, 11:33 AM.

                          Comment


                          • Let me get something straight. My gripe wasn't with the situation. It was how it was handled. Once HL told her she was staying out of it, that should have been the end of it. Instead it has turned into a soap opera for all the world to read. That is the problem I have. I understand that originally she asked a question to the forum. After she got her answer that should have been it. Instead she decided to feed all of you the entire situation. Not cool. Especially if you have kids in the same barn.

                            As far as Parent A's parenting skills go, you have no idea. Her two daughters are the nicest and most polite children you would ever want to be around. She was just trying to the best for her daughters as far as the pony is concerned.

                            And just so you all know there is no contract between either Parent A or Parent B. The situation was handled face to face with each other. That is the way you handle a situation.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                              Let me get something straight. My gripe wasn't with the situation. It was how it was handled. Once HL told her she was staying out of it, that should have been the end of it. Instead it has turned into a soap opera for all the world to read. That is the problem I have. I understand that originally she asked a question to the forum. After she got her answer that should have been it. Instead she decided to feed all of you the entire situation. Not cool. Especially if you have kids in the same barn.

                              As far as Parent A's parenting skills go, you have no idea. Her two daughters are the nicest and most polite children you would ever want to be around. She was just trying to the best for her daughters as far as the pony is concerned.

                              And just so you all know there is no contract between either Parent A or Parent B. The situation was handled face to face with each other. That is the way you handle a situation.
                              I'm sorry, but what you don't like about this entire thread is that HL continued on with her story and yet you come here and Finish the story by telling us that neither Parent A or B have a contract and handled things face to face.

                              So, aren't you doing exactly the same thing you are admonishing HL for doing?
                              Chronicle of My Horse
                              Secret Passage Ranch
                              **a member of the
                              Riders with Fibromyalgia & Adult Re-riders Clique

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by War Admiral View Post
                                ESG wins thread!

                                Right!


                                Sigh, why can't barns be free of disputes and issues?
                                Boarding barns are like Southern Baptist Churches.

                                Comment


                                • Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                                  And just so you all know there is no contract between either Parent A or Parent B. The situation was handled face to face with each other. That is the way you handle a situation.

                                  And after the persistance of Parent A to HL for her input, she STILL has nothing in print with Parent B? WOW.....

                                  Face to face, yea great....His word against hers if this arrangment falls apart...and then who gets REALLY hurt in all this?.....yeah the kids....

                                  Please do your friend Parent A a favor and encourage her to get something in writing....Since she has knowlege that the PAPERWORK that HL had was how she was able to PROVE her ownership to anyone and everyone who with the power to help her get her horse back, ummmm this verbal agreement just baffles me...Can we assume that because Parent B traded one on his other horses in this deal he is now unwilling or unable to put a value on this pony? Who has the bill of sale? How will the future sale of this pony be handled? How will the training bills be handled... I personally don't need any answers here and have no stake in this thing, but she is playing a fool's game if she thinks this thing is not going to bite her in the behind...

                                  We have no idea what kind of money we are talking about here... but please, please I smell another freight train coming if she continues on with this handshake deal with Parent B...
                                  Crayola Posse: Mulberry

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster

                                    Ok I just woke up (have to work tonight) and I have to say for the last time I don't think I have said anything negative about the kids... ever.

                                    Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
                                    The lady's girls are 12 and 14 years old, and both are very good riders. The problem is that she has agreed to go in "halfsies" with another parent at the barn on a pony for her 12 yo daughter.

                                    Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post


                                    The saddest thing of all is that Parent A's kids are both very nice.. very polite kids, they are not pushy or bratty at all, The youngest kid pushes herself to do well but really enjoys the challenge of riding especially the difficult ones.





                                    Ok these are just some of the quotes I could find that I had said about Parent A's kids... I think they were all complimentary.

                                    Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
                                    Yes Parent A's child rode the pony.. she loved it.. because it was fast, forward and strong and the kid does love a challenge. That kid can ride has a butt made of glue and probably can handle pony under the supervision of a trainer, if left to her own devices and no guidance though I think it would fall apart fast. I think Parent A has an unrealistic idea of what her kid can and can't do and the difference between supervised rides, training and just hacking and messing around. She wants her kid to be competitive at shows on this pony and evidently thinks the kid can do it all herself.... the kid is good but she's not THAT good.
                                    This one may be a bit a bit on the negative side I guess but not toward the kid. With the scenerio I was given by Parent A herself at the time(not hearsay) I really didn't think it would be a good idea. But that is not just for Parent A's kid I don't think there are very many 12 yo out there period that could teach and train a pony completely solo especially with a parent that really is not-horsey.


                                    Originally posted by jeta View Post
                                    And after the persistance of Parent A to HL for her input, she STILL has nothing in print with Parent B? WOW.....

                                    Face to face, yea great....His word against hers if this arrangment falls apart...and then who gets REALLY hurt in all this?.....yeah the kids....

                                    Please do your friend Parent A a favor and encourage her to get something in writing....Since she has knowlege that the PAPERWORK that HL had was how she was able to PROVE her ownership to anyone and everyone who with the power to help her get her horse back, ummmm this verbal agreement just baffles me...Can we assume that because Parent B traded one on his other horses in this deal he is now unwilling or unable to put a value on this pony? Who has the bill of sale? How will the future sale of this pony be handled? How will the training bills be handled... I personally don't need any answers here and have no stake in this thing, but she is playing a fool's game if she thinks this thing is not going to bite her in the behind...

                                    We have no idea what kind of money we are talking about here... but please, please I smell another freight train coming if she continues on with this handshake deal with Parent B...
                                    This is what amazes me the most. When I last spoke to Parent A I implored her to at least get a bill of sale when she pd Parent B her half of the money showing she was half owner. I hope she did get at least this.

                                    Contracts aren't for when things are going well... contracts are insurance for when they don't. Contracts help keep honest people honest. jmh1311 I know that you nor Parent A frequent these boards much but If you search the archives there is thread after thread after thread of "verbal agreements" gone south... and one person is always left holding the bag SOL because there was nothing written down and one person's word against the other. The issues Jeta mentioned are just some of the issues that I told Parent A to stipulate about. I mean what if the pony has a catestrophic injury and has huge vet bills, who pays??? or if one party doesn't want to pay and wants to put pony down and the other does what then?? Insurance for pony, any plans for change in barns, or training, or discipline changes, how the split of proceeds from sale of the pony would go.. all things that should be in writing.

                                    My contract saved my arse, as well as the rest of the paper trail I had to back it up with.JMH I know with your husband's business you require contracts for when you do work.. to specifiy what is and isn't covered, people get contracts when they buy cars, houses, or any other major financial transaction a horse sale or co-ownership agreement is no different. A smile and a handshake just doesn't cut it anymore. I thought ex-trainer was my friend and that she would never screw me over.. but I was wrong. Just like now Parent A thinks Parent B will be up-front and honest but I don't think that is how it will go. Always get it in writing.. that mantra has been said over and over and over on this board.


                                    I have done well and stayed out of it and will continue to do so. I don't talk to trainer regarding the going's on regarding the pony so I don't want anyone mad at her. I go to the barn.. ride my horse.. or watch daughter ride our horse and go home.

                                    As for sharing more of the situation on this thread.... well guilty I guess. I consider this a community of friends.. sometimes forgetting the scope that it entails, so just as I would gossip with friends verbally.. I did the same here. I'm human.... I also wanted to see if others found this as exaspirating as I was finding it. I didn't want to discuss it with others at the barn..to avoid drama so I came here. I have said I was sorry, but the last I checked this was a free country and I do have the right to speak/type about whatever I want. I'm sorry Parent A's and her children's feelings got hurt.. but I am even sorrier for her that she didn't learn something from all of this and get a contract.


                                    I hope things work out for them, I also hope for both their sake they get something in writing to protect them both.
                                    Last edited by horse-loverz; Oct. 12, 2008, 02:50 AM. Reason: can't spell
                                    ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                                    ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                                    ';;;;;;; clique
                                    //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                                    Comment


                                    • H-L you did nothing wrong, you were just asking if the situation was as bad as you thought and gave background. If people are embarrassed by having their behavior on the internet or other public places then they shouldn't do it. Remember though since you have warned everyone involved that they are headed for a train wreck and they refuse to listen then whatever happens is their own fault and I only feel sorry for the kids and pony because they're the ones that will get hurt in the end.
                                      You can't fix stupid-Ron White

                                      Comment


                                      • ...And this is why, if I want to ask a question that involves sensitive, specific information about other people, I use my trusty alter The horse world is really small, and folks who can be identified by barnmates by their COTH usernames and post about sketchy stuff at their barn are just asking for trouble IMO!

                                        No, it doesn't seem to me that HL is in the wrong, but I bet this thread has stirred up a LOT of barn drama that could easily have been avoided!

                                        Oh, and FWIW, HL's trainer needs to grow a pair. If anyone talked to me like Parent B, allowed their 6-year-old to jump an unsafe pony after specific instructions not to do this, basically ANYTHING that's been related on this thread, they'd be gone from my barn yesterday! HL's barn seems to be known by a lot of COTHers, and if nothing else, it's been made to look like a drama-laden free-for-all over there, and that can't be good for business!
                                        Please don't sabotash my conchess.

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster

                                          Originally posted by Haalter View Post
                                          ...And this is why, if I want to ask a question that involves sensitive, specific information about other people, I use my trusty alter The horse world is really small, and folks who can be identified by barnmates by their COTH usernames and post about sketchy stuff at their barn are just asking for trouble IMO!

                                          No, it doesn't seem to me that HL is in the wrong, but I bet this thread has stirred up a LOT of barn drama that could easily have been avoided!

                                          Oh, and FWIW, HL's trainer needs to grow a pair. If anyone talked to me like Parent B, allowed their 6-year-old to jump an unsafe pony after specific instructions not to do this, basically ANYTHING that's been related on this thread, they'd be gone from my barn yesterday! HL's barn seems to be known by a lot of COTHers, and if nothing else, it's been made to look like a drama-laden free-for-all over there, and that can't be good for business!

                                          Haalter.. you are correct.. I should have posted this under an alter.. didn't dawn on me to do that until it was too late though. The Barn really is a pretty drama free barn and I have apologized to trainer for any trouble I have caused. I don't want to hurt her business as she is a great instructor and has really helped me and my daughter as well as my horse fill in the the gaps left by Ex-trainer. LSM1212 used to board with me when we were both with my ET and JMH knows me from ET as well but neither currently lesson or board at my current barn. I would hate to be the one causing my Trainer to look bad or making the barn look bad when it really is a great place to learn and and the quality of care your horse gets is excellent.

                                          I love the barn I am at and the excellent care my horse receives there. I am hoping that by me staying out of this situation and minding my own business the drama that I have created will die off and it will be a drama free place once again. I don't think that the drama has spread thoughout the barn other than tension between Parent A and Me.. I know I certainly haven't gone around advertising what an Asshat I am.
                                          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                                          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                                          ';;;;;;; clique
                                          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

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