• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Your forum sign-up is not complete, you must add an Alias/Screen Name before you can post to the forums. Your name and email is not exposed to Forum users, only the Screen Name is accessible or viewable. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile
  • Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.
    Complete Profile

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Help with tactfully getting out of a very sticky situation.HOW IT ENDED PAGE 17

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Page of 18
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 4 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Next
  • #261
    Originally posted by lcw579 View Post
    Gotta agree with Mandy on this one. I think HL has been exceedingly well behaved when it comes to Parent A, especially considering the fact that she knew that ET was going to SELL HL'S HORSE OUT FROM UNDER HER!!!! If it was me, I'm not sure I would have managed the same polite restraint that HL has shown.
    Parent A didn't know anything until the horse was already gone. HL had been planning this way before anyone else knew it. Again two sides to every story.

    Comment

    • #262
      I can see how it would bother you to read this since you know these individuals, but really, unless these parents want to withdraw from society altogether, people are going to see and discuss their activities. HL is well within normal adult behavior to entertain us with her fellow boarders' antics. They don't even have a solid argument that she is hurting their feelings. You're not alleging that anything here isn't true. So get a sense of humor already.
      \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

      Comment

      • #263
        I understand the need for adults to be entertained at other people's expense, but what you don't realize is that the children of Parent A have read every post on this situation. How will that affect Parent A's and HL's children's relationship? Not a very good situation for the new trainer and the entire barn. Also alot of what has been wrote here is far from the truth. I am not sure who gets off more by this. You all or HL.

        Comment

        • #264
          Believe me, I know all about the "2 sides to every story" thing. Yes, I know the OP. Yes, I know Parent A. Yes, I know ET. Yes, I know NT. But no, I don't know Parent B. Nor who Paris08 or jhm1311 is though I'm sure I could figure it out if I took the time to think about it. But I'm not part of that "group" anymore so it doesn't really matter to me in the long run.

          Bad things have been said about me in the past... and on this board too regarding my situation awhile back. W/O knowing the whole story. So I can see it from both sides.

          Are some posts "a little over the top"? Yes. But are some posts also very acurate? Yes.

          The horse world is VERY small. No matter where you live. So even if actual names aren't listed, most people know someone somewhere who does know the people involved or can figure out who a person is talking about.

          JMO.

          Comment

          • #265
            Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
            I still harbor some resentment for Parent A though that she KNEW my boy was being sold out from under me and didn't tell me she was going to stand by and let me get screwed. I just had to get lucky that my intuition was correct and that my timing was lucky because 1 week later and he would have been gone thanks to crooked ex-trainer.

            :

            Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
            Parent A didn't know anything until the horse was already gone. HL had been planning this way before anyone else knew it. Again two sides to every story.
            Hmmm, seems the two stories don't add up.

            As for the kids, HL hasn't said anything negative about Parent A's children, in fact she has complimented the girl's riding skills. Perhaps, knowing the thread may have upset them, Parent A shouldn't have alerted the children to its existence? JMHO

            Comment

            • #266
              Hmmmm...it does seem inappropriate for someone to have pulled a child aside and said "hey, go check out this thread. That's your mom/dad they're talking about! Aren't you mad?"

              But HL isn't the one who did that. And if one of the parents or the former trainer did, then wow, HL is really restraining herself from telling us how nutty they really are. And if that's the case, reading this thread is the least of those kids' concerns.
              \"Non-violence never solved anything.\" C. Montgomery Burns

              Comment

              • #267
                LSM1212 I will give you help finding out who I am. You shared a horse with my daughter.

                Comment

                • #268
                  Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                  I understand the need for adults to be entertained at other people's expense, but what you don't realize is that the children of Parent A have read every post on this situation. How will that affect Parent A's and HL's children's relationship? Not a very good situation for the new trainer and the entire barn. Also alot of what has been wrote here is far from the truth. I am not sure who gets off more by this. You all or HL.
                  Do you honestly think 12 and 14 year olds don't already know what is happening around them...They are more aware that adults give them credit for.......They didn't need this BB to enlighten them as to what has been going on.....
                  Crayola Posse: Mulberry

                  Comment

                  • #269
                    Originally posted by MandyVA View Post
                    Hmmmm...it does seem inappropriate for someone to have pulled a child aside and said "hey, go check out this thread. That's your mom/dad they're talking about! Aren't you mad?"

                    But HL isn't the one who did that. And if one of the parents or the former trainer did, then wow, HL is really restraining herself from telling us how nutty they really are. And if that's the case, reading this thread is the least of those kids' concerns.
                    Parent A didn't show her children. They are old enough and smart enough to get online all by themselves.

                    Comment

                    • #270
                      No but most of you have been pretty cruel to Parent A without knowing her story. So judgemental!!!

                      Comment

                      • #271
                        Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                        No but most of you have been pretty cruel to Parent A without knowing her story. So judgemental!!!
                        Well then if you know so much about it, why not enlighten us?
                        www.simplicityweimaraners.ca

                        Comment

                        • #272
                          Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                          Parent A didn't show her children. They are old enough and smart enough to get online all by themselves.

                          I'm sorry, but the internet is a big place and this board alone can be daunting with all the threads going.....Do you really think they found this one thread on their own while the story is still unfolding??? Doubtful.....My money is on the ET....or maybe a mean spirited onlooker who has guessed the parties involved...

                          Again, have you ever met girls of Parent A daughters ages and them not have a clue about the latest drama around them........Please....I feel bad for the girls for being brought into all this, but H-L was not a prominant player in creating this situation.....So if this makes them view the parent in a different light....Well, this may make said parent see with some regret how she has conducted herself....
                          Crayola Posse: Mulberry

                          Comment

                          • #273
                            Originally posted by paris08 View Post
                            you have made up this soap opera, nothg of facts just here say you have these people followg this story just like the phone call tday to an ex member of our barn what snooping from what u heard this weekend none of ur busnss.
                            yooth uv 2day... leaders of tomorrow. ugh.

                            Comment

                            • #274
                              It's not my story to tell. I am just a friend of both parties.

                              Comment

                              • #275
                                Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
                                Parent A got kind of pissed when I told her my horse was not really ready to show. (we are undoing bad training now and taking it slow). She got even more pissed when she came to the barn one day and saw my daughter riding our horse in her lesson. She came up to me angry and said "I thought you said he wasn't rideable... My kids are better riders than you daughter is so if she can ride him my kids could." After I picked my jaw up and checked for a set of brass balls I calmly said that I told her he wasn't ready to show.. not that he wasn't ridable, and while my daughter may not be as good a rider as hers it is HER horse and SHE knows him and his cues which makes a huge difference. She said that my horse was obviously ready to show since ex-trainer had won with him in the jumper ring . Again I took a deep breath and told her calmly that ex-trainer pushed for height not proper body usage and we are doing hunters and we had to take horse back to square 1 and undo a lot of bad training.

                                OMG.... Parent A is definitely a peice of work.... in all of these discussions did it not occur to her that this is YOUR horse? If someone had said something like that to me... well, lets just say my reaction would have been legendary in the barn for years.
                                Lowly Farm Hand with Delusions of Barn Biddieom.
                                Witherun Farm
                                http://witherun-farm.blogspot.com/

                                Comment

                                • #276
                                  Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                                  It's not my story to tell. I am just a friend of both parties.

                                  Has it every occurred to you that you are hearing a story too?

                                  Or in your eyes on HL tells stories?

                                  Comment

                                  • #277
                                    Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                                    Parent A didn't show her children. They are old enough and smart enough to get online all by themselves.
                                    Yes, they are. But I just asked my 13 year old daughter who often looks around on here under my name what threads attracts her attention. Her answer ones with pictures, ones that ask for critiques, posts where she can learn something, show names and brags.

                                    Ones she won't open: threads like this that have a definite adult (ie boring ) subject and threads that warn of being long. She's not really into dramas at other barns or the ins and outs of buying/selling. Now if someone told her that she knew the people involved I'm sure she'd be all over it like white on rice. But then what responsible adult would give a kid a heads up about a discussion on the internet regarding her mother?

                                    Comment

                                    • #278
                                      Originally posted by jmh1311 View Post
                                      LSM1212 I will give you help finding out who I am. You shared a horse with my daughter.
                                      Ahhh... okay. Got it. I thought so... but didn't want to jump to conclusions. Rare, I know.

                                      Comment

                                      • #279
                                        Originally posted by LSM1212 View Post
                                        Ahhh... okay. Got it. I thought so... but didn't want to jump to conclusions. Rare, I know.
                                        I am glad to hear everything is good at your new barn. How is your horse doing?

                                        Comment

                                        • Original Poster
                                          #280
                                          Ok Ok... I am an asshat.. I accept that... fine.

                                          But I have to say.. I did not stick my nose into this willingly...

                                          Parent A came up to me and spoke to me initially about the prospect of co-owing a pony.. I told her baaad idea for several reasons.

                                          Parent A called ME at home in the evening to tell me about purchasing pony.. and asking ME to help draw up contract and what she wanted in it. After I hung up phone I had time to think about it.. and really wanted no part of it. So in a moment of blind stupidity and probably something I will regret for a long time I posted a thread on this BB.... a BB I know that Parent A does not read (at least she didn't at that time) on how to extract myself from this situation... hence the title of the thread... "Help with tactfully getting out of a very sticky situation"

                                          My main concern in all of this was the kids... I didn't want to see Parent A's kid get hurt or screwed out of a pony.. nor did I want to see Parent B's kid get screwed. Mostly I just wanted out of the whole deal and honestly wish I never got drawn into it. Having been screwed over once myself I really didn't want it to happen to anyone else.

                                          Again.... All the kids themselves are great. Both of parent A's kids are wonderful kids and excellent riders I don't think I've ever said anything bad about them. I actually hope I can ride as well as both of her kids do someday... they are really awesome to watch. Parent B's kid has a great attitude... I still think her dad is an asshat though sorry.

                                          As far as the issue about my horse goes... I vividly remember Parent A calling me the day I got my horse out of the barn.. because I was heading to work after getting him tucked into his new home and her calling my cell and asking me if I got him out because he had been sold. I remember this because I remember sitting in my car crying... upset because ex-trainer (who is also an asshat) would actually do this to me and that what I had suspected but did not know for sure was true... and the fact that Parent A knew and didn't tell me. I even asked Parent A why she didn't tell me before and she said she didn't want to get involved... Again that is what she told me over the phone.

                                          My daughter knows nothing of the drama or this thread or anything. So please if anyone is mad at me fine... it's not her fault at all so don't take anything out on her (most people who know her knows she's usually Captain Oblivious anyway).

                                          I have tried to stay out of it. I don't talk to trainer about pony or kids involved... I actually told her this thread had been drudged up again and apologized to her for starting it... and for any tension it has caused.

                                          I will issue a blanket apology to Parent A and Parent A's kids. If I hurt your feelings I am sorry.. I was only trying to find a tactful way of staying out of your business anyway I did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings.. especially the kids.

                                          I don't know what else to say I think from now on I will stick to horsey stick art... ( I really am not a snarky poster and am sorry this turned into such a trainwreck)
                                          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                                          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                                          ';;;;;;; clique
                                          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                                          Comment

                                          Previous 1 4 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 Next
                                          Working...
                                          X