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Help with tactfully getting out of a very sticky situation.HOW IT ENDED PAGE 17

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  • #181
    The most important skill you will ever learn in the horse business is the skill of identifying a disaster before it happens and running as fast as you can the other way.

    Here are some tip offs on identifying 'bad words' when you need to run the other way:

    1. You hear the words 'Can you help me load my horse' coming out of any mouth within a mile of where you are.

    2. You hear the words, 'Can you help me buy a horse or pony' (in any way, shape or form).

    3. You hear the words, 'I am unhappy with my trainer' (similar words are 'I'm unhappy with the barn owner' or 'I'm unhappy with Person X in the barn' or 'I'm unhappy with Person X's child' - and PLEASE - don't even try to suggest that 'I'm unhappy with Person X's dog' is any less dangerous - any statement in a barn that includes the word 'dog' has its danger factor raised by a factor of 50)

    4. You hear the words 'Let's talk about Person A in the barn' (similar words are 'Person A is a bad rider', or 'Person A needs help' - the spectre of one person saying another person needs help, raises the danger potential of the situation by a factor of 100).

    5. Any statement made by any parent of any child (whether currently in the barn or not) to you, about a barn owner, trainer, horse owner, child, parent, horse, pony or dog.

    If you hear anything that even slightly reminds you of these statements, you need to RUN RUN RUN.

    If you believe that you can help without sullying yourself, if you flatter yourself into believing you have something in you that will prevent this opening from turning into an unmitigated disaster, if you believe in ANY part of your brain that the person hasn't done this 100's of times to other people with the same diastrous effect, if you have the feeling that you will not wind up getting drug through the dirt from this and that this is a harmless "conversation" - just remember, the DSM-IVr has a name for that, and a pharmaceutical company makes pills for it.

    These are 'safe' things to hear in a boarding barn:

    1. How are you

    2. How's your horse

    3. Isn't it a lovely day

    4. Have a nice ride

    5. I hope your child has a nice ride

    Be forwarned, though, 'Safe' things are very, very often followed by 'bad' things.

    Be on the alert, and wait for it. Then run.

    There are several things you can do to strengthen your 'bad' shield.

    1. Learn to fake the symptoms of major Axis I psychiatric disorders

    2. Tell everyone you have a combination of AIDs, Herpes and a rare form of Spongiform encephalo-myelitis that is spread by breathing on others.

    Comment

    • #182
      Here's one the DSM hasn't recognized as a disorder yet, but it can be used at the barn to help HL:

      CRS-Can't Remember S___. Be very forgetful and don't remember anything at A or B have told you. Tell them you have CRS and cannot help them.

      Comment

      • #183
        Originally posted by slc2 View Post
        These are 'safe' things to hear in a boarding barn:

        1. How are you

        2. How's your horse

        3. Isn't it a lovely day

        4. Have a nice ride

        5. I hope your child has a nice ride
        Love it - that's exactly how to stay "safe". And, always remember the tried an true phrase, "well, bless your heart".

        Comment

        • Original Poster
          #184
          Originally posted by slc2 View Post
          The most important skill you will ever learn in the horse business is the skill of identifying a disaster before it happens and running as fast as you can the other way.

          Here are some tip offs on identifying 'bad words' when you need to run the other way:

          1. You hear the words 'Can you help me load my horse' coming out of any mouth within a mile of where you are.

          2. You hear the words, 'Can you help me buy a horse or pony' (in any way, shape or form).

          3. You hear the words, 'I am unhappy with my trainer' (similar words are 'I'm unhappy with the barn owner' or 'I'm unhappy with Person X in the barn' or 'I'm unhappy with Person X's child' - and PLEASE - don't even try to suggest that 'I'm unhappy with Person X's dog' is any less dangerous - any statement in a barn that includes the word 'dog' has its danger factor raised by a factor of 50)

          4. You hear the words 'Let's talk about Person A in the barn' (similar words are 'Person A is a bad rider', or 'Person A needs help' - the spectre of one person saying another person needs help, raises the danger potential of the situation by a factor of 100).

          5. Any statement made by any parent of any child (whether currently in the barn or not) to you, about a barn owner, trainer, horse owner, child, parent, horse, pony or dog.

          If you hear anything that even slightly reminds you of these statements, you need to RUN RUN RUN.

          If you believe that you can help without sullying yourself, if you flatter yourself into believing you have something in you that will prevent this opening from turning into an unmitigated disaster, if you believe in ANY part of your brain that the person hasn't done this 100's of times to other people with the same diastrous effect, if you have the feeling that you will not wind up getting drug through the dirt from this and that this is a harmless "conversation" - just remember, the DSM-IVr has a name for that, and a pharmaceutical company makes pills for it.

          These are 'safe' things to hear in a boarding barn:

          1. How are you

          2. How's your horse

          3. Isn't it a lovely day

          4. Have a nice ride

          5. I hope your child has a nice ride

          Be forwarned, though, 'Safe' things are very, very often followed by 'bad' things.

          Be on the alert, and wait for it. Then run.

          There are several things you can do to strengthen your 'bad' shield.

          1. Learn to fake the symptoms of major Axis I psychiatric disorders

          2. Tell everyone you have a combination of AIDs, Herpes and a rare form of Spongiform encephalo-myelitis that is spread by breathing on others.
          I loff this... and considering I work in a hospital there is no telling what cooties I have anyways. I am living by the mantra MYOB... and keeping my nose on my face and out of other's business. I'm just really glad my phone has been silent.
          ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
          ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
          ';;;;;;; clique
          //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

          Comment

          • #185
            That is probably the most useful information that slc has ever posted. And it's even on topic!
            Seriously, that was very succinctly put.
            "Perhaps the final test of anybody's love of dogs is their willingness to permit them to make a camping ground of the bed" -Henry T. Merwin

            Comment

            • #186
              slc, brilliant job!
              In loving memory of Laura Jahnke.
              A life lived by example, done too soon.
              www.caringbridge.org/page/laurajahnke/

              Comment

              • #187
                Currently adding slc's hints to our PC "rules, guidelines and bylaws"

                Comment

                • #188
                  Originally posted by Sue from Auckland View Post
                  Currently adding slc's hints to our PC "rules, guidelines and bylaws"
                  If you mean Pony Club, then it needs to be international!

                  Comment

                  • #189
                    SLC, that was perfect! I'm going to print and post that one around the barn.

                    Comment

                    • #190
                      Waaaaaa....Drama llama wants to be fed!

                      I wanna update.

                      Yeah, so I'm a bad person. I can't help it.

                      Comment

                      • #191
                        Originally posted by horse-loverz
                        Although my Daughter is still going to be the groom at the horse show in 2 weeks so that SHOULD prove interesting.
                        Am eagerly awaiting horse show report. Has daughter learned yet to operate a camera while hiding it under a towel & looking like she's grooming at the ring while taping said pony? Also would love some "back at the barn" interaction too--you know the best drama goes on at the stalls after the show ends.
                        "I'm not crazy...my mother had me tested"

                        Comment

                        • #192
                          Yup -- awaiting further reports. I think this drama is far from over.

                          Comment

                          • #193
                            Originally posted by StruckByLightning View Post
                            Waaaaaa....Drama llama wants to be fed!

                            I wanna update.

                            Yeah, so I'm a bad person. I can't help it.
                            Me too! I'm just glad you posted first! I already know where I'm headed in my handbasket - glad to know I'll have some company!

                            Comment

                            • #194
                              April fools, right????

                              I have been lurking... but... I keep checking the date of the posts to make sure it isn't April First. I guess it is all too nutty to make up! Boy my barn is dull.

                              Comment

                              • #195
                                Originally posted by trinkamally View Post
                                Boy my barn is dull.
                                And may it stay that way!

                                Comment

                                • #196
                                  Originally posted by horse-loverz View Post
                                  I loff this... and considering I work in a hospital there is no telling what cooties I have anyways. I am living by the mantra MYOB... and keeping my nose on my face and out of other's business. I'm just really glad my phone has been silent.
                                  May I suggest a SARS mask? That'll keep people away!
                                  "Adulthood? You're playing with ponies. That is, like, every 9 year old girl's dream. Adulthood?? You're rocking the HELL out of grade 6, girl."

                                  Comment

                                  • Original Poster
                                    #197
                                    Ya'll are so not helping my MYOB mantra... I've been good I haven't asked and I don't potentially run into either Parent until Thursday because I go so early to the barn on Tues and Wed that I am the only boarder there... usually. I will work on DD's stealth filming skills though
                                    ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                                    ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                                    ';;;;;;; clique
                                    //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                                    Comment

                                    • Original Poster
                                      #198
                                      Originally posted by trinkamally View Post
                                      I have been lurking... but... I keep checking the date of the posts to make sure it isn't April First. I guess it is all too nutty to make up! Boy my barn is dull.
                                      Sorry nope not April Fools..
                                      Last edited by horse-loverz; Sep. 4, 2008, 09:57 PM.
                                      ___._/> I don't suffer from insanity.. I enjoy every
                                      ____/ minute of it! Member stick horse art lovers
                                      ';;;;;;; clique
                                      //__\\<-- Don't feed the llama!

                                      Comment

                                      • #199
                                        Originally posted by CallMeGrace View Post
                                        If you mean Pony Club, then it needs to be international!
                                        Yup, and believe me, it's hard enough just getting things put in the national stuff

                                        Comment

                                        • #200
                                          PM

                                          Horse-loverz, you have a PM -

                                          Comment

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