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Just a funny, crappy little story.

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  • Just a funny, crappy little story.

    If you know anyone who thinks taking drugs for recreation is fun or cool, have them read this.

    Saturday night, my friend and I were out feeding my horses when a young man appeared on a small hillside overlooking my barn area. He was babbling about being used to cities, had mud up to his mid thighs, and was saying crazy stuff like, "I came up from the river. I got caught in quicksand and I almost died!"
    He was under the influence of something. Staggering, babbling, and his story wasn't adding up. I asked why he was on my property (I am bordered on the two back sides by rivers, and a cornfield on the third one) He had a story about taking a wrong turn, then seeing people in the river and running away from them, then he got caught in quicksand "and almost died".
    When pressed for who he was visiting, all he could say was, "I'm two blocks from their house."
    Except that we don't HAVE blocks out here. OK, whatever, get off my property. I pointed to the road and said hit it. He jogged away.
    The mud bothered me...so I went around to the backside of this hill he appeared on. A hill that has limited access.
    When I reached my manure pit, I was amused/horrified to see his tracks where he waded through the nastiest, deepest black spooge behind the pile (my compost guy is coming in a week to get it all, so there's quite a pile right now) and then; even BETTER than that.....
    We have a vet clinic on the grounds. The employees gather cat and dog poo and dump it over the embankment to the compost pile. There is a 20' bank that is primarily cat and dog poop, complete with gray fans of cat litter visible.
    He climbed RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE of that, using his hands and feet.
    He crossed a driveway to get to it, ignoring an open roadway in favor of clambering up that embankment. I suspect he was running from someone, I mean, why else would you go in a straight line from the river like that, ignoring open paths? He was running by the time he hit the road.
    My friend asked why I didn't call the police? I think he had punishment enough.
    Drugs ARE NOT your friend!

  • #2
    scary considering the things some of these chemically addled people have done lately
    Nothing says "I love you" like a tractor. (Clydejumper)

    The reports states, “Elizabeth reported that she accidently put down this pony, ........, at the show.”


    • #3
      scary indeed. Glad he didn't have a weapon and think you were a menace. Hope he didn't get hit by a car either.


      • #4
        I'm glad he didn't try to eat your face!


        • #5
          Gross. That's just nasty, hope he he had enough sense in his altered state to keep his hands out of his mouth.

          I dunno though, I still would have reported him to the police. Drug-crazed fool running through river beds and climbing through compost piles? Can't imagine he was on his way home from a prayer meeting. I'd be worried he'd just offed the neighbors or something. Then there is always the possibility that he had some sort of medical or mental issue that was causing his behavior and the guy was actually in need of medical help. Can't diabetics act pretty off the wall if their blood sugar gets too low? And we've all heard the stories of people with mental issues losing it when they go off their meds.

          Back when I used to tend bar I had a disheveled man wander in off the road acting all sorts of weird and babbling like a complete nut. Thought the guy was completely wasted and probably drugged up, my first reaction was to refuse service. Told him to have a seat and I'd get him some coffee. Went in the back to fire up the coffee maker and he wandered back outside, right into the road and got hit by a car at about 35mph. Damn near killed the guy and poor driver that hit him was a 16yo girl that had literally just got her license that day, was the first time she was driving without her parents. Girl was a hysteric mess and the guy almost didn't make it. One of the officers came back later to take my statement and told me the guy wasn't actually drunk, after they had gotten him to the hospital they found out he was diabetic.

          I still kick myself for that. Maybe if I'd have been a little more proactive instead of chalking him up to a crazy drunk/druggie I could have saved both those people a very bad evening.


          • Original Poster

            He was with it enough that he wasn't going to stagger into the roadway. We were a hair away from calling the cops, but I didn't want to escalate it with him.
            I keep cans of wasp spray with me in the various buildings. They shoot 25' and sting like a mother if you get the face, usually knocks people off their game enough to gain some time. Thinking some bear spray will come in handy too.
            I would have loved to be around when he sobered up and smelled himself!

            Edited to add: You want to know the main reason why I didn't call police? Our department has been gutted by the current mayor. Why, I have no idea. It's been going on for a while now. They are so strapped now they can only respond to true emergencies. And this guy wouldn't have qualified as one. IF an officer had responded, it would have probably been thirty minutes or more. Believe me, I was considering it, but decided the risk of agitating him with no backup wasn't worth it.


            • #7
              Great title


              • #8
                No need to get defensive, I was just pointing out that sometimes what we see isn't all there is to the story. Hopefully the guy was just a drunken fool and is currently sleeping off a nasty hangover. But wouldn't it be a shame if there was some other cause for his erratic behavior, and he truly needed help, an ambulance, etc?

                FWIW, when you call the police on someone you don't have to confront them and tell them what you are doing first. You can just as easily remove yourself from the situation (or urge him off the property like you did) then make the phone call. Saying a discreet call to the police would have agitated him further is kind of a bull**** cop-out. Same as the excuse about the response time, mayor gutting the police department or whatever. Whatever the issues are with law enforcement in your area, they don't negate your ability to pick up a phone and dial three little numbers (9-1-1).


                • Original Poster

                  Defensive? You read a lot into my printed words. What I stated is what has happening and what went through my mind when I had only a moment to decide what course of action to take. If you think it's bullshit reasoning, well, it was my decision to make...not yours.

                  And, tell me this, on what grounds would I have to call? And why in the world would I call 911? I *thought* he was acting high, but did I have proof? Was I being threatend? No. I had a man telling me he got lost and ended up on my property. His babbling about taking wrong turns and not knowing where he was, none of that was 911 material.

                  (of course, opting to climb a poo pile might raise some eyebrows at the station... )


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by CHSatwork View Post
                    I'm glad he didn't try to eat your face!
                    ~Over or Through~

                    A Blog of Percy's Journey!


                    • #11
                      Great story! I'm glad nothing weird(er) happened. But you gotta admit the image of a drunk city-boy climbing a sploogey manure pile in the dark is pretty freaking hilarious!

                      Originally posted by Lady Counselor View Post
                      And, tell me this, on what grounds would I have to call? And why in the world would I call 911? I *thought* he was acting high, but did I have proof? Was I being threatend? No. I had a man telling me he got lost and ended up on my property. His babbling about taking wrong turns and not knowing where he was, none of that was 911 material.
                      Yeah, I was physically accosted (as in, grabbed my arm, put his face in mine, and yammered at me) by a mentally-unstable man in the city where I work and I called 911 when I got to my car. They told me I was fine, and to be more careful when walking downtown.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Lady Counselor View Post
                        Defensive? You read a lot into my printed words. What I stated is what has happening and what went through my mind when I had only a moment to decide what course of action to take. If you think it's bullshit reasoning, well, it was my decision to make...not yours.

                        And, tell me this, on what grounds would I have to call? And why in the world would I call 911? I *thought* he was acting high, but did I have proof? Was I being threatend? No. I had a man telling me he got lost and ended up on my property. His babbling about taking wrong turns and not knowing where he was, none of that was 911 material.

                        (of course, opting to climb a poo pile might raise some eyebrows at the station... )

                        LOL, no really, him babbling would have been grounds. Even if they show up 30 minutes later to gather him up on the highway.

                        But no sweat, he didn't drown in your quicksand of doom and had some wits about him left. We can't baby everybody.