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Emotional bank accounts.

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  • #21
    Originally posted by MunchingonHay View Post
    a little off topic, but I HATE Dr. Phil and have you ever noticed that he looks like the Walrus from Alice and Wonderland?
    The walrus that dups the clams into following him and then he EATS THEM !!

    come to think if it, PP kind of looks like the walrus too

    https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/im...J9eRx9Ic5rR_sg
    It's the 'stache. The glorious, hypnotic 'stache.

    Comment

    • #22
      That term "emotional bank account, with your partner" is exactly the same term that a therapist friend of mine used 10 years ago when discussing my relationship with another friend of ours. So although I buy into the concept when talking about my friend 1) it wasn't invented by the person referred to in this thread, and 2)it relies on both parties in the relationship understanding the concept of emotional give and take.
      Last edited by Kate66; Jun. 18, 2012, 10:38 PM.

      Comment

      • #23
        Most cults do come with built in excuses (cloaked in psychotherapy jargon) should you eff up. That way the almighty leader won't look like a failure.
        "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

        Comment

        • #24
          Originally posted by Laurierace View Post
          The horses aren't the only victims in this mess though, the people are as well. They are told every single step of the way that they aren't worthy and they aren't good enough. Nice message. Join the Army and get paid for the same message.
          Except the Army actually tries to put you back together, and in my case, better than ever.

          My horses & ponies forgave me all the dumb crap I did when I was a kid and had no instruction. Why are all these Kool-Aid drinkers paying an instructor to allow them to screw up their horses? I will never understand this.

          Here's my opinion, for what ever it's worth. There are people who innately understand horses, and for those people these NH principles work because they already get what the horse is thinking and feeling. There are people who, with the best instruction in the world, will never get it. They have no "horse sense." Most people fall somewhere along the continuum, of course, but PP and his acolytes make a living selling a line to group B-that if they try hard enough, they can become group A- that is complete BS.

          But those people can be happy and successful horse owners and riders, as long as they don't expect their horse to adore them and follow them like a puppy! If that's what you want, get a puppy!!! Labradors are awesome for that, once they get past the jumping-all-over-you-and-eating-things stage.
          Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian

          Comment

          • #25
            My bank account cries all the time because it feels so empty sometimes. :=)
            Nudging "Almost Heaven" a little closer still...
            http://www.wvhorsetrainer.com

            Comment

            • #26
              Horses don't "forgive." Some are just more tolerant of idiocy and abuse than others. Take a look at a really good school pony, for example.

              I think this is just another well-thought out ploy by the PP "trainers" to explain why their program has a ton of people and horses flunk out and to do damage control for the amount of negative press they get from true horseman that ridicule their program.

              If you notice, all the "truisms" put forth by the PP program are based on human emotional content (probably gathered by some PhD. on staff) and not based on the instinctive reactions of a prey animal that isn't the brightest bulb on the planet.

              Comment

              • #27
                Guess the OP got her question answered =)

                Comment

                • #28
                  The overall idea completely makes sense to me.

                  You try to build up as many confidence-building experiences as you can to cover you if you ever have to accidentally make a withdrawal (missing a distance, or whatever).

                  If most of your cumulative transactions are confidence-shaking, you will untrain your horse. If most of your cumulative transactions are confidence building, you can make a mistake and have enough in the bank account to bounce back.


                  It is a little ridiculous to knee jerk hate the Parellis SO MUCH that you lambast even the rare stuff they do say that makes perfect sense. Even if they do express themselves weird.
                  The Noodlehttp://tiny.cc/NGKmT&http://tiny.cc/gioSA
                  Jinxyhttp://tiny.cc/PIC798&http://tiny.cc/jinx364
                  Boy Wonderhttp://tiny.cc/G9290
                  The Hana is nuts! NUTS!!http://tinyurl.com/SOCRAZY

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                  • #29
                    Somehow I managed to accept that I make mistakes without all that emotional nonsense.
                    RIP Don - 3/28/2004-8/15/2012

                    Comment

                    • #30
                      How about, make sure your horse trusts you by always being a good leader, and making as few mistakes as possible. That can be accomplished by using common sense, having an understanding of horse behavior, and being athletic and coordinated enough not to hamper your equine partner.

                      Now you can buy my plush toy and DVD.

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                      • Original Poster
                        #31
                        Originally posted by Kwill View Post
                        Guess the OP got her question answered =)
                        sorry if I couldn't chime is fast enough. I've been plagued by an "error 405 Gateway timeout" message for a while. Is that the website or just my internet connection?

                        Anyhow, I thought the blog post was interesting. This

                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp0QYfYBnq4

                        is also pretty interesting. I consider this person to be pretty educated on the topic of horse training. He admits, less than 10 minutes in, that he has made many mistakes and will likely do so again.

                        I do not, at all, understand the notion that one should/can expect a trainer/mentor/guru/whatever to guarantee that we will NOT make mistakes.
                        "Friend" me !

                        http://www.facebook.com/isabeau.solace

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                        • #32
                          Originally posted by meupatdoes View Post
                          The overall idea completely makes sense to me.

                          You try to build up as many confidence-building experiences as you can to cover you if you ever have to accidentally make a withdrawal (missing a distance, or whatever).

                          If most of your cumulative transactions are confidence-shaking, you will untrain your horse. If most of your cumulative transactions are confidence building, you can make a mistake and have enough in the bank account to bounce back.


                          It is a little ridiculous to knee jerk hate the Parellis SO MUCH that you lambast even the rare stuff they do say that makes perfect sense. Even if they do express themselves weird.
                          Agree. Let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

                          I further think horses do understand apologies: http://horsitivity.wordpress.com/201...and-apologies/
                          Last edited by Camstock; Jun. 19, 2012, 03:10 PM.
                          http://www.camstock.net/

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by Camstock View Post
                            Agree. Let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater.

                            I further think horses do understand apologies. My blog post about exactly that topic: http://horsitivity.wordpress.com/201...and-apologies/
                            Then, some times it makes sense to let the baby go with the bathwater.
                            Ever heard of "fluidity", "monkey riding" and other such?

                            The website is acting up, or the internet is, has been since yesterday and getting worse.
                            Already reported it, but you may add any details you may have also, let the Moderator know.

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                            • #34
                              Bluey, you probably know that the phrase "throwing out the baby with the bathwater" means throwing out everything and not considering that some good might be mixed in with the bad/idiotic. Your point about the other ridiculousness doesn't disprove my thought that perhaps some good exists in Parelli-land.
                              http://www.camstock.net/

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                              • #35
                                Originally posted by Camstock View Post
                                Bluey, you probably know that the phrase "throwing out the baby with the bathwater" means throwing out everything and not considering that some good might be mixed in with the bad/idiotic. Your point about the other ridiculousness doesn't disprove my thought that perhaps some good exists in Parelli-land.
                                I have said time and again there is much good and fun there.
                                The concept is great, the execution, well, worthy of letting go down the drain.

                                Comment

                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by Bluey View Post
                                  I have said time and again there is much good and fun there.
                                  The concept is great, the execution, well, worthy of letting go down the drain.
                                  Agreed.
                                  http://www.camstock.net/

                                  Comment

                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by JSwan View Post
                                    The writer needs to have her hormone levels tested.

                                    Really.
                                    She does seem to have her horse/ human thinking out of whack.

                                    But I always say to each his own. Sounds like she takes the well being of her horse ( who is a riders partner, after all) as a top priority and it should be. I know nothing about Parelli, saw the beginnings of a show on RFD TV once, but couldn't stomach the intro. Instead of bashing the methods, as happens here from time to time we should be more concerned on how the horse is taken care of and handled . If their teachings are not harmful to the horses well being then what difference does it really make?

                                    Comment

                                    • #38
                                      Originally posted by candyappy View Post
                                      She does seem to have her horse/ human thinking out of whack.

                                      But I always say to each his own. Sounds like she takes the well being of her horse ( who is a riders partner, after all) as a top priority and it should be. I know nothing about Parelli, saw the beginnings of a show on RFD TV once, but couldn't stomach the intro. Instead of bashing the methods, as happens here from time to time we should be more concerned on how the horse is taken care of and handled . If their teachings are not harmful to the horses well being then what difference does it really make?
                                      It depends what you consider "harmful to the horse".

                                      Should I assume you did not get to see some infamous videos, part of what the PP system was selling as "educational", where they were carelessly clunking a hitching rail hard and then on to the horse, or the one of Barney being bopped around mercilessly?

                                      Those and others were very poor horse handling, worse if intended as training.
                                      Harmful?
                                      Well, evidently not in their eyes, it was in the teaching videos they were selling.

                                      In most other's eyes not part of their system, rough and not acceptable.

                                      Comment

                                      • #39
                                        It's not news that most horses keep track and act accordingly, and aren't actively looking to ruin your day.

                                        When I was riding a lesson horse with a reputation for being a dirty stopper if you weren't bringing your A game, I made a point to fuss on her and tack her up myself even though they were usually tacked ahead of time. I petted her face, I talked to her, I repositioned the saddle and did her girth up slowly and gently. When I did groom her, I did it kindly. I did all the nice little things you can do before you get on that any horseman would say is reasonable and possibly even necessary.

                                        I truly believe it went a long way because over time, that horse started saving my ass when everyone in that ring knew I didn't deserve it.

                                        I did kind to her. She did kind to me. I really don't think I'm anthropomorphosizing too much when I attribute that to her. I am not a riding rock star. And she didn't do this for other riders too frequently, even the ones that rode her often and were good riders.

                                        Comment

                                        • #40
                                          Originally posted by Ambitious Kate View Post
                                          I took a behviour clinic with Rex Peterson and learned whatever I could from him and Cari Swanson.
                                          You mean this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w02XWe6W-6A Rex Peterson?

                                          I'm not trying to be critical of you, but I am very critical of Rex Peterson. I think he's barbaric. And his "sugar string" is just as euphemistic as "carrot sticks" and "magic wands," only much more brutal.

                                          http://www.youtube.com/watchv=qceVQJ...eature=related

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