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500 things my Horse told me! - Time for some fun!

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  • from my 15 yo OTTB (re gymnastics line):

    "well I already did it three times clear, now let's see how fast I can do it."


    • Yep, Talkofthetown, he came off the van Friday morning. His last race was in July. (also ran..)

      He also says it's too hot down here, the bug spray is awful, but bugs are the WORST, the hay sucks, but the grain is wonderful, the stall fan amazing, grass is mesmerizing, sand is great to roll in, but these people have absolutely lost their minds thinking that right turns are in any way desirable.

      And don't they know that 'whoa' means "give me about half a mile to think about it" ?

      Oh, and, psssst, don't tell anybody, but they have GIRLS here.....

      A classic OTTB Stallion, 17'1" (on concrete with the bubble in the middle!) grey and well, not exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Sweetest guy on earth, though.


      • My 7 yr old TB/Paint mix, after he managed to throw me off Sunday...
        "I thought we were done..you said if I took that fence perfect we were done..why did you make me try to work more..that's what you get.....I'm sorry though Mom, I still love you..oh, and the grass tasted really good over there...sorry about the dirt on your butt...oh yeah..look at the spot you left on the ground...I still love you though Mom..gimme treats."
        yeah...gotta love him...


        • Big goofy warmblood who fell over in the wet grass while flying around..."I meant to do that!"

          Other gelding watching..."hee, hee, hee, hee, hee......"

          Young mare watching...."dumb, dumb, dumb...."

          Old mare...."Kids"

          Me, after the initial gasp....couldn't stop laughing. Weird to see a horse on his back with all four feet in the air like a huge puppy.

          PS: He's fine. Lost nothing but his dignity. Big goofball.


          • Hogan (foxhunter): "Circles, circles, cirlces ... I CAN bend lady!!! Circle, straight, circle straight ... I HATE ring work! When are we going to go chase things? I HATE the ring!!! Booooooooooooooooring."

            Pogo (8 hand pony): "You, lady, treat me like I'm 18 hands tall or I'm gonna go all 'crazy pony' on you." and "If that MAN (vet) tries anything I'm going to go all 'crazy pony' on him" and to my 3 year old niece "I LOVE you! Want to have a pony ride? Oh, you want to pull my tail? Its ok. I LOVE you!"

            Buck (old QH): "Look I'll do whatever you want just make sure there are cookies at the end."


            • Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho" View Post
              "I know you have told me this already. But repeat it again. Promise me I am with you forever."

              Awwwwww *sniff* That's perfect.

              My TWH mare " Yeah, I have great hair and all, but have ya seen me go fast? We can leave anyone in our dirt. Would you like to? *I* would. How about now? Now? Maybe now??"

              My Rainbow Bridge Mare "Thank you. It was time for me to get some rest."

              Husband's gelding "Dooooodes! You are so here for ME! To see ME and pet ME and give ME cookies and coo over MY good looks. It is, after all, all about ME."
              Crayola posse ~ Lazer Lemon yellow
              Take time to give...it is too short a day to be selfish. - Ben Franklin


              • Would you STOP letting that MAN (the trainer) teach you new things!!!
                Not my monkeys, not my circus.


                • Hope the Donkey: Excuse me... yes you over there. Please, kindly remove the shetland wedgy. Thank you so much...

                  Sunny (The shetland): I'm a genius, nobody understands how hard life is when you're as friggin smart as I am. I honestly don't know how much more stupidity I can stand in this life. I'll just wait right here under the shade of the donkey and theorize. Oh wait- we have company? Kids & adults? SWEEEEEET- I LOVE company (even if they are noobs). They are so dupped when I put on the cute pony face- they just can't stop giving me treats. So gullible... dumb humans.

                  Ginger: I love my pasture buddy, I love my water bucket, I love my toys, I love my hay... people ahhhh not so much except for my boy person- I love him.

                  Hazel: Yeah, well moving is really overrated. I could just stand here all day. Why do I need to go over there? How about YOU come over here? Oh you have a cookie? I'm coming over- be there in just a second. Hi! Oh don't kiss me. No people lips. Why can't I just have the cookie without the people lips touching me? Here- I'll take that cookie and you can scratch my butt instead- that's a good deal!

                  Gracie: I'm better than anyone here. Don't talk to any of those horses. It's all about me really. Look- see how the planets twirl around me.

                  All the girls at 5:30AM:
                  I see movement! I think I heard the alarm clock- did you here the alarm clock? get up get up GET UP! Is that the bathroom light? Oh wait the kitchen light is on! Who is that walking around by the sliding doors? Ohhhh they better get out here fast... NO forget the damn dogs and cats- come OUTSIDE! Shoes-shoes-shoes- are by the door! Come-ooooonnn already put your shoes on and get out here.


                  • Mom, you saved me from a living hell and I will love you forever and ever and I will let you do whatever you want to me, like clip my ears

                    My other horse

                    Dang woman I know you saved me and I love you for that but I'm not sure about these scary jumps and this dressage thing.

                    6months later:

                    Hot dang Mom we are rocking this This is so fun WEEEEE
                    Horses aren't our whole life, but makes our life whole


                    • Originally posted by IndysMom View Post
                      Would you STOP letting that MAN (the trainer) teach you new things!!!

                      I belive thats my horse to.

                      Also my Pony would say

                      I'm fat, I'm happy, so why do you keep putting this little thing (my child) up on my back. Can't I just be FREEEEEEEEE

                      My TWH

                      Which way did it go George, Which way did it go????????? With the look of confusion contantly. lol
                      Horses aren't our whole life, but makes our life whole


                      • This morning Luke, my bobble-headed TWH told me that wadded up duct tape does not taste good. Then he asked me to kindly unstick it from his lips.

                        Last night my QH Jazz [who has basically been (hopefully) recovering from an injury for the past two years and I'm just been riding bareback with a halter and lead rope for that time (lots of walking!)], told me that he has no need for a saddle or bit. Get - that - thing - out - of - my - mouth! Now!
                        "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Confucious
                        <>< I.I.


                        • Originally posted by rabicon View Post
                          Mom, you saved me from a living hell and I will love you forever and ever and I will let you do whatever you want to me, like clip my ears
                          This is definitely my horse too. He has also been known to say:

                          I need to MOVE let's CANTER NOW!
                          *squeal, Head toss*
                          If I don't listen, and ask for canter, the bucking begins

                          He may be grateful for his life now, but he's still an OTTB

                          The pony in the farthest turnout at lunch or snack time:
                          "Waitress! Over here with that hay please"

                          The Chestnut OTTB mare
                          "WHAT is THAT?!!?" (towards anything on the driveway, that doesn't belong there, like a dog toy or stick, when she is going in or out of the barn)


                          • Duckie(Morgan gelding) : Mom, I can do whatever you want, as long as you ASK, not TELL!

                            Maddie (Chesnut OTTB Mare): I am perfectly happy being the pasture queen! I do not need brushed or fly sprayed! BAck to work? WHat do you mean back to work? Has it been 6 months already??? Are you sure? Call the vet, any vet, we need a 2nd opinion!
                            "Farriers are the hairdressers of the horse world. They know everything about everybody..."-Lildunhorse


                            • Woodrow (Qtr horse ? cross) - Crap! They're pulling the trailer out of the barn! Run! for the love of carrots, run everyone!.....Wait, false alarm.

                              Woodrow again - I'm the man. Helllloooo beautiful. (to the love of his life, husband's blonde horse).

                              Zephyr (mustang) - oooohhh loook, there's a jump, let's go over it! On second thought, where's the food?

                              Zoomie (OTTB mare) - Aaaahhhhhh! I TOLD YOU not to touch me there!!! Where are you going? I'm scared of everything! Oh, what's that over there? Let's go investigate.
                              Yogurt - If you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? Steven Colbert


                              • Mini Maximus: "See farrier come. See pony Run! Run, pony, run. Look! Jane chases pony. Come, Dick and see!"

                                LW:"You do realize I'm 24effin years old? I used to pack GIRLS around on my back in the dressage ring, with nice english tack. WTH is that cow-carcass monstrosity you just pulled outta the tack room? It stinks and must weigh 8000 pounds. You're not putting *oooouuuffff* THAT on my *oooouufff* back. *Sigh* *Phartzzzzzzz*"
                                On hoofbeats and heartbeats, your love came to me. With carrots and kisses, I now set you free.
                                RIP, my beloved RootBeer (4/1973-8/2007)


                                • When my mare was weaned, she moved in to a herd which grazed on a public park. The public were allowed to walk through the park. The public (unfortunately) wanted to feed the horses and (unfortunately) thought they were allowed/entitled to do so. So for quite a while Millie's conversations mostly consisted of "Hi there, I'm Mille. NOW FEED ME" (accompanied by snotty-mare, ears back faces, particularly if a carrot or similar was not produced IMMEDIATELY). Took a while to break that little habit


                                  • Round 2:

                                    Mr. Harvey Horse (back in the day...) After finishing the hunter course PERFECTLY at my first show... "Hey that was FUN! Buck! Kick! Buck!.... Hey, ma, where did you go...? What are you doing on the ground....?"

                                    Injin: "Walk snarf face high hay walk snarf face high hay walk...."
                                    "Sudden stop. There's a vine coiled around my leg. Twice. Did you even notice? Sigh. Ok, hold still, I'll piroette or something. Turn. Shuffle. Walk. Shuffle. Turn. Ok there. I saved your butt. AGAIN."
                                    (It's true, I didn't notice till he stopped. He backed and filled and shuffled till we were free.)
                                    Do not take anything to heart. Do not hanker after signs of progress. Founder of the Riders with Fibromyalgia clique.


                                    • TB/B mare: *BIG SIGH*
                                      Me: "What's up, Sweatheart?"
                                      T/B mare: I just LOVE you so much, Mommy..."
                                      Me: Awww, I lov-
                                      T/B: "Hey look! COWS!" *Runs off.*

                                      Warmblood boss mare: "Hi Mom!"
                                      Me: "Hey, big girl!"
                                      WBM: "You going to feed us, now?"
                                      Me: "Food coming right up"
                                      WBM: "Love you"
                                      Me: "Love you more"

                                      New Warmblood mare: "...*..." SQUEAL!!

                                      Big PaintxCanadian gelding:"You want to ride? Okay! You want to jump? Okay! I must run fast now? Okay! We're done? Okay! Um...can I have a treat, now? *Dawdles away* "Dum-de-dum-de-dum...I loff beer, I loff popcorn, I loff grass, and hay, and apples, and mints..OH, I LOFF those...and carrots, and grain, and Warmblood Boss Mare...yaaaaawwwn! I think I'll take a napppzzzzzzzz".

                                      Yearling warmblood gelding: "Ik, wle xcbl uetwqs slqoppt TREAT?"

                                      Hubby horse Paso Fino/Appy gelding:*Running like mad across the field* "Mommmmyyyyyyyy! WHY must I stay outside with these horse creatures? Can't I come in and watch TV? Will you let me hold the remote? Don't leeeeave!"
                                      GreenGate Stables


                                      • Learning something new...

                                        Day 1: What? Ahh! I don't know what you mean!?!? I'll try this? No? Ahhhh! Ahhhhhhh! I'm feeling all sweaty. Can I get a Xanax or something over here? Ahhhhh! What do you want, lady? Oh that? Could you have maybe said that in the first place? Now I'm all stressed out.

                                        Day 2: Yeah, I know how to do that. Been doing it practically all my life.

                                        1 Week later: Umm, we've done that several days in a row now. I thought I was fairly clear that I knew how to do that. I do, however, have an improv routine I've been thinking of trying out. Here, I'll pretend I have no clue what you want. Now, you can try to teach me again! I'll pretend I'm upset! Wait, what? Hey..hey - what are you doing that for? Oh fine, I'll just do it. But I think it's dumb. You're so bossy, you know.


                                        • "You brought that lunch for ME, right? Give it here, now, and I'll stop kicking my stall door. I promise."
                                          Teaching Horseback Riding Lessons: A Practical Training Manual for Instructors

                                          Stop Wasting Hay and Extend Consumption Time With Round Bale Hay Nets!!