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The SO who wants to understand

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  • The SO who wants to understand

    So, for the most part, my SO is indifferent to the horses. He'll help me feed, come to make sure I'm still alive if I've been in the ring or up at the barn (which usually ends up with me on a horse, even just hopping up bareback and enjoying the ride as whichever horse I hop on meanders around doing their own thing. And yes, the horses do know the difference between hanging out time and 'Mama means business' time) too long. He'll even ask how the horses are doing, and helped me hang the new ring gates, made appearances at a couple of the shows last year to show his support. I even got him up on His Haffyness, bareback! First and only time we know of that he's been on a 'horse' ever.

    But, he could take it or leave it and hasn't shown much interest in learning more. If we're hanging out up in the pasture, enjoying end of the day drinks, he'll pick a horse to 'chill' with, and share his beer. That's the extent of it.

    Or had been.

    Lately, he's been asking me questions. Not "Who are you going to ride today?" or "How did it go?" or "Do you need help so we can be done faster?" But, "Who chewed on that post? The fence too? What IS cribbing? So that's bad for them, right? What are those things on the leg? (Chestnuts. My initial answer was "NOT tumors") That one gets the special diet right? Tell me more about that. What's this thing called? (in regards to tack) What's this for? So the whip is just an extension of your arm? Have you ever HAD to use it to, you know, hit? Why do they move out of YOUR space without you having to touch them, but climb all over me and kind of just laugh at me when I tell them to move? How can I get them to respect me like that?"

    It makes my heart happy. I don't think he'll ever be out shopping for a horse of his own, but he's really trying to understand and wanting to learn more about this 'thing I do'.

    Had to brag!
    Owned by a Paint/TB and an OTTB.
    RIP Scoutin' For Trouble ~ 2011 at 10
    RIP Tasha's Last Tango ~ 2010 at ~23
    RIP In Sha' Allah ~ 2009 too young at 5

  • #2
    Encourage that!!! My DH is the same... he loves the horses but riding, etc. is not his schtick. But he'll ask questions, he pays attention to how I do things & may ask why and when I need something built or other help, he's the man on the job.
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.


    • #3
      If you'd have told me 5 years ago I'd be riding a 17h, 2000# horse in medival comptetion, I'd have laughed at you. But then my horse found me, thanks to my wife... oddly, the day or so before we brought home her engagement 'ring' Grace.

      Funny, in hindsight I see the hundreds of little details that had been installed in me over the last 30 years to make this a part of reality.

      The curiousity sure is a good start was for me...
      Nudging "Almost Heaven" a little closer still...


      • #4
        My DH is the same. He is more then happy to come and help out but has his own things. He does ask questions and can do the feeding for me if I can't. I like knowing that if something happens to me he can look after them. I give the info he asks but don't push.
        My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

        Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed


        • #5

          My DH had had very little exposure to horses before meeting me, and now he embraces all things horsey. Right now he knows just enough to be dangerous, and still isn't allowed to handle them without supervision, but I'm loving watching the learning process!

          The best question he ever asked was (after the whole Romney "Dressage is for the elite" thing), while we were cracking jokes about it in the barn, "Is that why Willow has a crown on her butt and her neck (She's Danish WB)? Because she's elite?" He was dead serious.

          Encourage it!


          • Original Poster

            On a completely related note:

            Belg! Maybe I can pick your brain for some armor templates Honeyman has agreed to make me and a friend a set of foam armor. To break up the usual schooling/showing and to blow off some steam, and because we're great big children in adult clothing, we're plotting to do a spin off of FMJ...full FOAM jousting Pool noodles instead of lances. I keep forgetting to bring it up when I'm with my scadian buds.

            And yes, I fully intend to nurture this new development with his expanding curiosity. At first I was just giving the short answers, but when he started pressing for more information, oh did he open up some flood gates! I think he was a little overwhelmed at first by just how much is stored in this brain of mine.
            Owned by a Paint/TB and an OTTB.
            RIP Scoutin' For Trouble ~ 2011 at 10
            RIP Tasha's Last Tango ~ 2010 at ~23
            RIP In Sha' Allah ~ 2009 too young at 5


            • #7
              He sounds like a keeper. Make sure you are careful to not make any of his questions seem silly (which we all know can be hard at times).


              • #8
                My wife (thathorse) is a lot more knowledgeable about the armor LOADS more. My creative bones aren't in costuming...

                But I'm always open for brainpicking! We don't do contact (crestfallen, opponent jousting) but we have quintain jousting and other period games set up every year (behind this year, too much mowing). The equipment is easy to build for the most part, and gives a great sense of 'ownership' in the sport to make it
                Nudging "Almost Heaven" a little closer still...


                • #9
                  EquineImagined, do a search for "SCA equestrian" and you might find some info that would be helpful... this is the equestrian handbook that has specifications for weapons/armour materials and so on: http://sca.org/officers/equestrian/p...n_handbook.pdf

                  And good luck with the encouragement! My husband shows up for a show every now and then and gives my horse a carrot, so he's not much interested, but I love that he listens without complaint as I talk endlessly about horsey things that he can't possibly understand or care about...
                  "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

                  Graphite/Pastel Portraits


                  • Original Poster

                    You know, I got so excited when they brought 'cavalry' to Atlantia, but never got around to joining. >.< I'll pass that along to him though! (Wish I'd thought of it, should have.)

                    BIG step, it's almost time to get on D-girl for the first time (with tack and for more than a few seconds) and I mentioned waiting til one of my friends is around to lead her (glorified pony ride first ride) And he volunteered to do it <3
                    Owned by a Paint/TB and an OTTB.
                    RIP Scoutin' For Trouble ~ 2011 at 10
                    RIP Tasha's Last Tango ~ 2010 at ~23
                    RIP In Sha' Allah ~ 2009 too young at 5


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Superminion View Post
                      The best question he ever asked was (after the whole Romney "Dressage is for the elite" thing), while we were cracking jokes about it in the barn, "Is that why Willow has a crown on her butt and her neck (She's Danish WB)? Because she's elite?" He was dead serious.
                      Hah hah, you must post this in the Things non-horsey husbands say thread.
                      Ring the bells that still can ring
                      Forget your perfect offering
                      There is a crack in everything
                      That's how the light gets in.