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Stupid, stupid, STUPID...please share your STUPID stories (update on me p. 7)

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  • #41
    Originally posted by Lauruffian View Post

    Please share your face-palming horse-related stories to help me temper my anger with myself and embarrassment of getting hurt for being unnecessarily careless...gotta have some humor in this mess.

    I feel down a horse trailer RAMP! By. MY. SELF!

    Broke my ankle, dislocated it, tore all the soft tissue from my knee to my toes and broke my tibia and fibia in 5 places 1,2,3,4,5!!!

    I was not weight baring for 5 months! ugh!

    Jingles for you ankle!! get a back on track ankle brace I love mine!


    • #42
      Stupid #1
      I did almost the same thing as lauruffian, except it was not a tape measure. I just groomed then fed and as I was putting away the grooming box I forgot to put the swat on the belly of my gelding ( the poor guy is itching himself raw). So I grabbed the little tub and walked up to him knelt down to see exactly where to slather it on and the second I touched his belly he just about jumped out of his skin and then bolted right over me. He did not see me or hear me approach he was so into his feed tub. His spook caused his pasture mate to spook and bolt all over as well. Lucky for me nothing broken, but I was black and blue all over. His shoes tore my good jeans too. I had to do the GI Joe army crawl out of the turnout since I couldn't quite stand up right away and I did not want to get ran over again.

      Stupid # 2
      Not checking my tack before mounting. I have fell off quite a few times when the girth was not tightened properly. ( and damaged a few saddles as well because of this) I also had stirrup leathers break.


      • #43
        Too many stupids to recount. Just cringing from your descriptions...FEELING them...and wishing all a safe recovery...be kind to yourselves.
        "Over the Hill?? What Hill, Where?? I don't remember any hill!!!" Favorite Tee Shirt


        • #44
          Ah the old cutting corners karma will kick your butt for sure.
          1) leading old horse out to paddock while yakking with my friend who had shown up to chat. We were joking about how easy it looked in the movies to just jump on a moving horse. So, my friend decides to take a run at the old boy, well obviously he wasn't listening to our conversation and not only spooked but kicked out and got my friend in the knee. Stupid momentary lapse. She still has a lump on the side of her knee.
          2) horse on crossties for farrier. Instead of snapping lead to halter to walk him back out to paddock, I just grabbed his halter. Just as I turned him to walk out, the perfect storm of loud and scary noises happened, and my big boy lurched out the end of the barn with me being carried along on my tippy toes. I never let go tho and I think my farrier learned a few things about my profanity skills that day.
          R.I.P. my sweet boy Tristan
          36 years old, but I was hoping you'd live forever


          • #45
            I have a very interesting and bloody story about my 13 year old self. I often wonder how my mom survived my childhood...

            My old Appaloosa gelding wouldn't even walk over a ground rail unless you had a stick in your hand. I used to use sticks ripped off the tree. Didn't matter if you tore off a 2" stick, or a 2' stick. A riding crop couldn't work. You had to ride him up to a tree and break off a stick. Besides, my young colt found my crop the day before so I had to lay it to rest.

            This one day, Chester was being especially quirky and I got my stick. It was about a 2 feet long.

            I had set up some good sized jumps. I aimed Chester toward the first one, he popped over it with much enthusiasm and ran that stick up my right nose hole. I bent back in mid air and when he landed I bent forward again. The stick went up my left nose hole and came out my cheek. I jumped of him, handed the rains to my friend and ran up the driveway to my house. When I ran into the kitchen door, and coughed blood everywhere. My poor ma freaked and we made a 45 min trip to the ER in 25 or so mins. No permanent damage except a perpetually snotty schnaz and a super 'noid Mawmaw. Whether its para or a' to tack onto the 'noid depends on the way the wind blows.

            Even after all these years, I still give my poor Mawmaw the vapors. I remember my first solo motorcycle ride on my cbr 600 after an accident that landed me with a 4 month vacation and steel reinforcement. I was trying to pull into my super steep and travelled driveway, and I dropped my bike. The last view I saw as I went for a visit into my recycling bin was her face in the shape of pure horror.

            After she asked me how I felt, my usual "roadkill" answer wasn't very well received.
            Originally posted by dizzywriter
            My saddle fits perfectly well. It might be a little tight around the waist, but I take care of that with those spandex things.


            • #46
              I survived a 19 mile trail ride and overnight camping trip with two middle school age kids. Drove all the way home unloaded horses and upacked without a hitch. When I got home I threw a swim suit on and headed to our pool house for a beer and a quick swim. I cut the corner of the pool too close, fell in and shattered my lower leg. I mean bone was poking out and I was in the deep end of the pool by myself. Fortunately, I did not drop my beer!!!!

              Rumor around work was I got thrown from my horse. It sounded a lot better than falling in my pool.


              • #47
                Ouch! Let us know what the diagnoses on your ankle is!

                I haven't had any stupid moments ending in injury around the barn, but my mom had a pretty good one a while back. She grew up on a TB breeding/racing farm, so she knows the full extent of TB twitchiness. I was tacking up girthy Tb mare who refused to let you tighten the girth when she was in the cross ties. Mom was holding mare who had bridle on, she put her fingers in the bit, because she's used to holding horses by the bit rings at the local therapeutic riding place so that they don't bite. I tighten girth, mare decides that she doesn't feel like having a tight girth that day, rears, and backs, giving my mom a real nice spiral fracture and teaching the little kids some nice new vocab words

                My best stupid, non-horsey moment had to have been this past December. I was getting ready to go to school, and in a slight hurry. Rather than walking in front of my car on the perfectly dry flat driveway, I do a bit of a run. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground and my ankle killing me. Turns out it was a bad sprain, on crutches for two weeks. Passed out three times while my mom tried to help/carry me into the kitchen. Only thing I remember was telling her that I was nauseous and I wanted to lie down on the couch and her saying, "YOU'RE NOT RUINING MY NICE COUCHES DAMN IT!"

                I could go on for hours about non-horsey related stupidity, but this is a horse board
                Last edited by Electrikk; May. 1, 2012, 10:22 PM.
                I like mares. They remind me of myself: stubborn know-it-alls who only acknowledge you if you have food.
                Titania: 50% horse, 50% hippo
                Unforgetable: torn between jumping and nap time, bad speller


                • #48
                  Well, there has been the horse who, when I was unbridling, got too close and he threw his noggin which connected to my nose...and knocked me for a loop.

                  The bucky gelding who I was standing by his shoulder, looking off into the distance, and he saw something opposite of me and went sideways, over the top of me...and knocked me for a loop.

                  Then, there was the Doc Bar filly who, even though well suited for roping, the owners wanted her made into a WP horse and while doing a slow lope in a big field, tossed me so fast, I didn't even know what happened. Just all of a sudden I was looking up into the sky, holding her reins, she looking down at me...because I'd been knocked for a loop.

                  And...there was the Hancock bred stud horse who I was taking out for a quiet walk and the next thing I knew, someone was waking me up from the middle of the road, still holding the reins, while the stud stood there and looked at me. He'd done something, pitched?, and I'd gone off and hit my head and was a pile of cowgirl in the middle of the road...because I'd been knocked for a loop.

                  This is getting depressing....heh...I could go on and on and on....
                  GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!


                  • #49
                    Originally posted by Arcadien View Post
                    2 - don't try to get escaped mare to back out of feed room by pulling on her tail
                    Several years ago I had my horse in the aisle, but not on cross-ties. I think I left him standing for a second before cross-tying to grab a brush. Whatever the reason, he wasn't cross-tied. I had him facing the big back door, which was wide open since it was summer. He started to take a few steps towards the door, so what do I do? Grab his halter? Nope. Grabbed his tail. Why? I have no clue. I was about 16 or so and for some reason thought that would be an effective way to prevent him from leaving the barn. Thankfully he didn't kick, but he did get very annoyed at the idiot holding him by the tail and took off out the barn doors. The good news was I didn't have to chase him far as he is highly food motivated and had stopped to graze at the end of the paddocks.

                    When I was about 12 I learned first hand why you don't put your face right up in the horse's knee when you're currying it. My mom was thrilled about buying me new glasses.

                    I can think of a few stupid things I've done where I later realized how damn lucky I was to have not gotten hurt.


                    • #50
                      Lord we are a group here.
                      I would like to hear more about the process of getting in the car and trying to drive with no tires....
                      My stupidest was hitting myself with my car. A gate, a herd of horses and not getting the car all the way in park... that's the highlights.


                      • #51
                        Lauruffian - take care of that ankle! Definitely have an ortho take a look at it. Some ERs are great, others ... well, they try.

                        I would like to say, this is all making me feel better about my most recent injury. Part of it, I chalk up to bad judgement, part I chalk up to bad luck.

                        Back in November, I was heading out to our winter turnout field to bring in a few horses. I had gotten one group and was headed back out to get the last one - my gelding. I had broken (pretty much shattered) my left leg in July of 2011 and had only gotten back into walking independently in September and back to light riding in October. My leg was really sore from all the walking after a long day of work so I decided to ride my gelding back to the barn. We had done this several times before and I had ridden him bareback/in a halter quite a few times as well. He was known to be nice and quiet so no alarms were going off in my head.

                        The sun had pretty much set and the wind was blowing (first clue that this was a bad idea). There were still a few horses in the pasture who were at the gate, running back and forth, ready to be brought in (second clue). I went to mount up, but before I could even get on him, a sudden gust blew in, shaking the branches of a nearby tree, spooking another horse in the pasture (we were right next to the fence) who took off ..... Well, my guy LOST IT. He bolted, his front legs kicking through my right leg (the one that hadn't been previously broken) and totally taking it out. He bolted away, back towards the barns while I laid down, KNOWING that the leg was broken.

                        Thankfully, I had my cellphone with me - personal rule that I carry it with me whenever I'm at the barn and there's a chance I'll be alone - and I was able to call back to the barn. I told them where I was and that I needed an ambulance. A friend of mine, another boarder, found me right away, but the ambulance couldn't quite figure out where I was so I laid in the field for awhile ... in the dark with the temps in the upper 30s.

                        My family was called and they arrived (my brother and mother - my mother being a nurse and my brother being an EMT). They were able to aide the paramedics and it was determined that my leg was certainly broken (it was an open fracture). Took a bit to 'stabilize' me - but I was eventually transported to the local trauma center. Had surgery to place a rod and screws early the next morning. The surgery caused some complications with oxygen and heartrate and I ended up with a longer hospital stay than expected. ARGH.

                        Although I eventually got back (fairly quickly actually), I had issues with ongoing pain. My surgeon and I decided to go ahead and go back in for a second surgery on the same leg to remove the screws in the hopes that it would relieve the pain. I'm still recovering from that surgery, but there is no way of knowing yet if the surgery was actually successful (in relieving the long-term pain).

                        So yeah - bad/rash decisions mixed with some bad luck just never ends up looking pretty


                        • Original Poster

                          Oh, y'all are cracking (and cheering) me up! After some wincing, that is. I definitely, definitely feel much better (erm...mentally and emotionallye) and in a way, feel more like a real horsewoman.

                          My ankle sucks right now--feels like a great big basketball-sized water balloon. It doesn't hurt too much if I don't try and move the ankle, particularly side-to-side. I will say that first getting out of bed in the morning and the feel of gravity as I got upright su-UCKED. :::throbthrobthrob::: Drugs are helping, as is ice.

                          Soonest the orthopedist could see me is Wednesday morning , so I have to wait until then for a more definitive diagnosis and re-x-raying. I have succumbed to the truth that I have to keep my sub at least 3 more days. I'm out of sub days after Wednesday (part of being a Mom! I used them all up for the boys...well, that and the day we put our mare down ), so anything after that will be difference pay (as in, the difference between my daily rate and the rate of a sub--in essence, I have to pay for the sub out of my paycheck).

                          All this, and I miss my boy. I'm REALLY pissed that I only got 3 rides in on him when I did this...it's going to feel like ages before I'm riding again. Harrumph.

                          Oh, and I have a couple of other stupid horse-related injuries (actually, I swear all of my injuries are stupid...like when I thought it'd be HI-larious to pound on a friend's window to scare them, then put my hand through the window and severed a tendon in my pinkie), though these two weren't so much from being stupid as being a klutz.

                          First was 20+ years ago. In a riding lesson, I kept leaning to one side, so my instructor had the questionable solution of taking the girth off my saddle. I managed to maintain my balance, but the saddle pad kept slipping. I paused to dismount and fix the pad (for the second time), and as I was coming off my foot got stuck in the stirrup. With no girth to hold the saddle, the whole thing started slipping off with me, then just completely fell--and then the stirrup iron on the other side swung over and nailed me in the face on the bridge of my nose. That felt AWESOME.

                          Second was last year. I was pushing an empty trash bin back to my mare's stall when it slipped forward and I fell forward, stepped on the swung-open lid which stopped it with a jolt and sent me "HURRRRR!"-ing inside the trash can and NAILING both forearms on the edges of the open can, both knees on the dropped lid, and my HEAD clocking the inside of the can. Explaining that to the urgent care doc was...interesting. My right arm was hideeeeous and needed two x-rays, but was not broken...just ugly. Took a few months to really feel right. (Of course, after I got out of the can and hobbled out, I still mucked her stall and fed her, noticing my numbing and swelling arm halfway through and thinking "Oh, great.")

                          My middle school students loved that teacher nearly broke her arm falling to an empty trash can/manure bin, though.

                          Thanks so much everyone and keep the stories coming!
                          SA Ferrana Moniet 1988-2011
                          CP Trilogy 2002-2015
                          My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie


                          • #53
                            Once grabbed a hot electric fence that spanned a gate while leading a camp pony. Took me maybe 30 seconds wondering why he was all tensed and glaring at me... the electric was somehow passing through me to him I finally felt it then figured it out and dropped the wire. Bless his heart he did nothing wrong and stood stock still, the situation could have been bad. Belive the little guy is still working the camp circuit.


                            • #54
                              Originally posted by Windsor1 View Post
                              Now you have cankle (singular).

                              I got into my car one morning to go to work without realizing that the wheels had been stolen off it. Not a stupid action, I guess, but definitely clueless. :-)
                              I feel terrible for laughing, but


                              I once got a spectacular black eye after I was attempting to suture a wound on one of my horses and just needed to get one more stitch in and tried to get by without topping up his tranq. I caught him with my chicken elbow, he startled and I punched myself in the face while holding a pair of needleholders.
                              Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
                              Sam: A job? Does it pay?
                              Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
                              Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.


                              • #55
                                As a kid, my best friend and I were cleaning neighboring stalls, and excitedly gossiping about something. I must have had a particularly important and/or funny point to make, because I poked my head around the wall dividing the two stalls to tell her something.
                                So my face suddenly appeared in the doorway of the stall she was cleaning.

                                And a microsecond earlier, she had just let fly a pitchfork full of wet stinking manure toward the wheelbarrow in said stall doorway.

                                My mouth was wide open because I was laughing about something.



                                • #56
                                  I just about knocked myself out this weekend putting away my new little Millcreek manure spreader. (Which I love, BTW.) Put the garage door up enough just to duck under and slide the spreader in after its first use, made a little adjustment while admiring its awesomeness and congratulating myself on my excellent craigslist find, and then stood up. WHACK!!! Slammed the side of my head against the inside of the garage door hard enough to knock myself to the ground. Brilliant. At least I managed not to fall onto the spreader blades... it was close.

                                  Pehaps I should have been wearing my helmet. Who here wears their helmet while cleaning pens?
                                  where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?


                                  • #57
                                    I was cleaning my mares hind foot about 5 weeks ago.something spooked her and she sort of kicked my hand.I could still move my thumb up and down but not well side to side.Probably should have had it checked but didn't.I can almost carry a cup in that hand,but no problem with reins.


                                    • #58
                                      "Do as I say, not as I do"
                                      All I could think about reading all of these stories

                                      A few of my own:
                                      Decided to use the fence to quickly mount my bareback and haltered horse to join some ladies on a quick trail ride. Horse decided that he was going to move his butt last second as my body was flinging itself onto his back and I slid off (think Wipe Out style...) and fell onto a nice rocky patch below.... and I mean sharp painful rocks! I got up, dusted myself off, and walked the extra 5 feet to the mounting block and hopped on while the ladies all freaked out. I didnt realize till I got home later that day that there was blood on the back of my shirt and my whole back was scraped up and bruised....the chiropractor is still workin on me after many years >.<

                                      And years before that, I had just got a new (very stretchy) girth and was putting it on my horse (that was quite a bit taller than I was at the time!) and somehow snapped my arm back real fast and tore a ligament in my forearm.

                                      And the most recent... I was sitting on the hood of my car while holding on to a lead line with my grazing horse attached. He decided to move along to get a better patch of grass and pulled not-paying-attention me right off my car and plopped onto the ground, still holding the lead... He just looked over at me with the "whatcha doin down there?" look on his face and returned to grazing. :P The only thing bruised was my ego!
                                      Clancy 17hh chestnut Dutch WB, '99. Owned and loved since '04 and still goin'!


                                      • #59
                                        OP, I don't know about you but I feel MUCH better about my stupid stories now.
                                        What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by Jane Honda View Post
                                          ran that stick up my right nose hole. I bent back in mid air and when he landed I bent forward again. The stick went up my left nose hole and came out my cheek.
                                          I am such a klutz and have done so many dumb things over the years that I now have nearly constant paranoid fantasies. As in, if I reach up to wipe my eyes I imagine that I will trip in that second and fall and gouge own eyeball out. Nearly all of these involve my eyes, but thanks to this story Jane Honda, I am sure I will now have to worry about ramming things up my nose as well

                                          Lauruffian, definitely don't skip the ortho. About 4 years ago I fell off my friend's horse and broke my ankle. I was SURE it was broken because when I tried to put weight on it I passed out. However, the oh-so-helpful doc at urgent care said the x-ray was clean, it was only a sprain. No mention that I should get it rechecked in a few days because sometimes fractures don't show immediately. Weeks later when I was still in pain, I return and ask for another x-ray. The very rude doc who seemed to think I was pill-seeking or something was very surprised to see the large bone chip in my ankle.

                                          Unfortunately, because I had been walking on it for weeks that chip had been moving around and destroyed the cartilage in my ankle. 2 surgeries and months of no-weight-bearing ensued.
                                          Holy crap, how does Darwin keep missing you? ~Lauruffian