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Horse/Baby/Money Advice?

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  • #41
    Originally posted by ACP View Post
    And DO NOT have a baby until all your debts are paid.


    If we all waited until we can afford a baby, hardly anyone would have one.

    With that being said, being in a BETTER financial situation (as in, NOT paycheck to paycheck) is a good idea before you add a child to the mix. They are EXPENSIVE and LONG TERM.

    Good luck with it. My "baby" will be 13 next week. Time flies!
    Alis volat propriis.

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    • #42
      Originally posted by bluemooncowgirl View Post


      If we all waited until we can afford a baby, hardly anyone would have one.
      So true. True with horses too! hahaha (seriously, that's how I justified mine. "well, there's never going to be a GOOD time, might as well jump in!" Good call at 24. haha)
      "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

      My CANTER blog.

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      • #43
        Wait a second, hold the phone...

        I say fight for it, make it work. You have a one in a million horse? Depending on your definition, you may NEVER have another one of those again. Go to the barn, stand square in front of THAT horse and take a good long look at his face. If after five minutes you can see yourself unattached from that horse, then sell and get on with the baby making.

        But if you have one inkling of doubt about letting such a wonderful horse go, then don't. Make it work.

        You aren't pregnant yet. And in this society we all can probably use an overhaul on our careless spending habits.

        But I will tell you this. For some of us, horses are our identity, our sanity, our breathe of life. I had several moments over the last twenty three years where logic meant selling my horses. Every time, I refrained, make sacrifices and kept the animals. I too am married with a seven year old who was premie and required a lot of med care his first year. There were times when the horses and the kid had exactly what they needed while I went without. I would not change one decision I have made.

        The question is not sell the horse to be financially responsible while heading into parenthood. The question is how tough is your resolve? If you are willing to do the work to keep all the balls in the air as a child gets added into the mix, you will figure out how to have your horse, your relationship and a baby.
        ...don't sh** where you eat...

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        • #44
          Well, it can be done, but you to cut your expenses and you need to do it quick. When I had my first daughter (we have 3 now), here is what I did:

          1. Get your horse out of full training. So freaking expensive. You'll never be able to justify this expense when you have college education to save for.
          2. Take one lesson a month. Have someone videotape you so you can get the most out of it.
          3. Half lease your horse out to someone fabulous. If he is as awesome as you say, then someone should be paying YOU to ride him, not the other way around!!
          4. Budget out what day care will cost (if you work) or figure out how to live on hubby's salary alone. It is shocking how expensive this is. We paid over $18,000 last year for our two little girls and lots of folks pay a lot more than that.
          5. If you show, show on the cheap. Schooling shows are just as much fun (sometimes more) and are much less expensive and take less time/effort.


          I was lucky enough to have a sweetheart of a horse who didnt mind if i only rode 1-2 times a week and was a barn favorite, so easy to lease out. I did this for about 5 years and finally ended up selling him when we got our own farm. Now I have my own little farm and two horses plus pony for the kids, but I still only have time to ride 1-2 times a week (I work full time). Which is just fine! My 8 year old is learning to ride which is about as close to heaven as it gets.
          where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?

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          • #45
            This is a hard decision to make, and I wish you the best whichever choice you make. I'm planning to be horseless for at least the next 5-10 years due to family and budget, but it's all in what you make of it. I had my daughter right out of college and there was no way I could afford my horse, so I sold him. My daughter is four now and DH and I might, might be able to afford some horse-related activity, but it would really strain our finances and I feel it would be too selfish of me. For the benefit of my family, I will have to keep dreaming. If I got back into horses now, I would deny my daughter some of the experiences I had as a child, like dance classes, family vacations, and the like. Plus DH and I would like to have another child and I would like to go to grad school, so horses will have to wait a little longer.

            Good luck!

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            • #46
              Count me in with the "let's be financially responsible before we become parents" club. Most horses are "one in a million" only in our dreams. Mostly, they become one in a million only after we've spent almost that much seeing what they can do

              If your bond with your horse is such that you don't care if he ever competes again as long as you can just hug his neck from time to time, then put him on cheap board and have your baby.

              But I really think at some point given your finances it will come down to new shoes for baby or a trim for Dobbin, and Dobbin's going to lose out. I'd sell him now, and I'd put the money aside but not necessarily for a new horse. If you didn't bring the horse to the marriage and exclusively pay for his upkeep, then the horse is marital property and you should use the money from his sale for whatever you and your husband decide it should be spend on. Paying off debts, child expenses, whatever.
              ~Kryswyn~ Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo
              Check out my Kryswyn JRTs on Facebook

              "Life is merrier with a terrier!"

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              • #47
                I had kids and horses and there was a year or two that the horses were way on the back burner. we always have a long break from the horses b/c of winter and I planned the kids around that but it was still very difficult to get horse time in when I had an infant.

                We also didn't have a lot of money-the horses were at home and got minimal care, no training or expensive feed or new tack or anything like that.

                By the time my oldest was two though he was up and running with the horses, riding with my husband and we would go horse camping and take him with us. By the time the youngest was 2 we were in full 'horse family' mode. The kids are now 12 and 14 and are excellent horse people.

                My best advice is to map out how you could afford kids and hopefully horse(s) on just ONE salary. (If you even want to do horses on the cheap-maybe you don't want to do it if it's not training and showing?) We always did it just on my husband's salary, making sure that we could cover the mortgage and whatever else just on that. You never know if your circumstances are going to change and you might need to make it with one parent staying home with the child. Horse or no horse, try to cut it back to do-able with one salary.
                “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen R. Covey

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