Horse/Baby/Money Advice?

[caffeinated]

I just have to say - think about this - you sell you horse that you love, and then, you do not conceive. Ever.
You would have sold him for nothing.
Something else to think about....

Well... not really. The horse wouldn't be sold for nothing, the horse would be sold for hopefully a reasonably good price given his description. Which, baby or not, could help out the OP's financial situation quite a lot. Even if she did not get pregnant, that's not "nothing," even though it may seem like it.

[FlashGordon]

I just have to say - think about this - you sell you horse that you love, and then, you do not conceive. Ever.
You would have sold him for nothing.
Something else to think about....

That happened to me, tho I didn't really love the horse I had at the time and probably would have sold her eventually anyway.

But the money I saved in board, lessons and showing came in handy when we decided to adopt.

I agree that if this is a one in a million horse, hang onto him. Otherwise there are a lot things to consider.

[poltroon]

If you are already paycheck to paycheck, after having an infant you will be frantic and miserable. Babies take up time, they crush your earning power, and they do add to your expense more than you expect, just because you have less time to do things for yourself. Baby day care cost == horse board costs in most areas of the country. And this is the best case scenario.

[IronwoodFarm]

Don't dawdle about the sale. It sounds like the horse is nice, the show record is good, and he is in regular work including showing. Sell the horse now while he is worth something, put the money in an account for the next horse.

My sister was once in a similar position of being quite strapped for cash but not wanting to sell the horse even when offered some very serious money for him. So she economized, including dropping his insurance. Of course the horse coliced and died 6 months later, but not before running up a $10K vet bill. My sister literally spent years paying off that debt. She sold all her horse stuff, had yard sales, etc. It was many more years before she got another horse.

If she had sold the horse when she had the chance, she would have been so much better off. So don't make the same mistake; sell the horse.

[LittleblackMorgan]

If you are already paycheck to paycheck, after having an infant you will be frantic and miserable. Babies take up time, they crush your earning power, and they do add to your expense more than you expect, just because you have less time to do things for yourself. Baby day care cost == horse board costs in most areas of the country. And this is the best case scenario.

I wish day care and board was the same here! It's 300 a week for full time day care. I pay 350 a month per horse for boarding.

[fordtraktor]

I agree, everywhere I have lived day care is way more than horse board. A week of daycare equals about a month of horse board in many places, including mine. And that doesn't count baby diapers, food (great if you can breastfeed, but that is not free -- if you work you need a good pump/bottles/storage bags/etc., just as starters). Don't forget baby vet bills (lots of appointments at first), and baby tack (car seat, stroller, clothes, high chair, toys, playpen, etc.....Craigslist and shower helps but still, not free).

I would sell the horse. I am contemplating selling one before we conceive again. I probably won't because I suck at selling horses and while super-lovely he's a TB with no show record, so not worth much....but still, if I were smart I would while he's young and sell-able.

[caffeinated]

Baby day care cost == horse board costs in most areas of the country. And this is the best case scenario.

For me it's more. Baby Day Care is about $400 more than what I was paying for full board.

:/

[MYalterID]

I could save $800 a month cutting training and moving to a cheaper board situation, and cutting out shows/clinics would be good for $2000ish a year. But if I take him out of training and just putz around a few times a week, that will make it a tougher sell if that's what I decide to do later. My head says sell, but my heart can't imagine being horseless.

[runNjump86]

Would you be able to take a weekly lesson somewhere after you sell, so you still get your horse fix?

Man, all the baby stories make me shudder. DH would love to have kids like, NOW, and I'm on the "in a couple years" boat. Oiy.

[Giddy-up]

I could save $800 a month cutting training and moving to a cheaper board situation, and cutting out shows/clinics would be good for $2000ish a year. But if I take him out of training and just putz around a few times a week, that will make it a tougher sell if that's what I decide to do later. My head says sell, but my heart can't imagine being horseless.

You only spend $2000 for shows a year? Was that a typo?

I say sell the horse while he's saleable & people want him. If you wait too long there might not be any buyers. Pay off your bills. Get in a good place financially where you aren't living paycheck to paycheck--what happens if one or both of you lose your jobs? Then have a baby or not. Buy another horse later on if you want. There are always more horses.

And I would like to hope your trainer could find a horse for you to brush or hack occasionally while you are horseless since you have been a good client.

[BuddyRoo]

Another perspective....

Most horses don't "hate" time off. If your awesome horse is young, what's the harm in just boarding and dinking around for a couple of years if you have a child?

I "dinked around" for a few years while I was working overseas on and off. My horses were FINE. I went from being competitive to being a "when i get a chance" back to competitive briefly....then I met a man with kids and got married which really torpedoed my riding. But I still have my main mare and have had her for 22 years now. She's fine. And after the adjustment period with marriage and kids, I'm ready to get back into the horse world again.

I don't think that your only options are horse or no horse. Perhaps there's a middle ground.

That said, kids are freaking EXPENSIVE. I can't speak to the time commitment when they're infants because I don't have kids of my own. But as pre-teens/teens who can't yet drive? They really take up a lot of time.

[poltroon]

I could save $800 a month cutting training and moving to a cheaper board situation, and cutting out shows/clinics would be good for $2000ish a year. But if I take him out of training and just putz around a few times a week, that will make it a tougher sell if that's what I decide to do later. My head says sell, but my heart can't imagine being horseless.

But see, here's what will happen.

In your last trimester, and for the first few months after the baby is born, you won't have time and energy to go out to the horse. So then you need to find someone else to ride for you... which may even involve paying someone. And the horse gets unfit and naughty, and then you don't feel comfortable getting on until you put the time in, and you don't have the time...

If you're paycheck to paycheck now, that $2000 won't be enough. (It probably won't even cover your child's health insurance.)

Sell the horse. Find yourself a lesson barn or even a half-lease; there will be plenty of opportunities if you're a capable and reliable rider. You don't have to give up horses. Put the money from the sale into your Totally Separate and Untouchable horse account, which will be for buying your next horse when things stabilize.

[FlashGordon]

But see, here's what will happen.

In your last trimester, and for the first few months after the baby is born, you won't have time and energy to go out to the horse. So then you need to find someone else to ride for you... which may even involve paying someone. And the horse gets unfit and naughty, and then you don't feel comfortable getting on until you put the time in, and you don't have the time...

If you're paycheck to paycheck now, that $2000 won't be enough. (It probably won't even cover your child's health insurance.)

Sell the horse. Find yourself a lesson barn or even a half-lease; there will be plenty of opportunities if you're a capable and reliable rider. You don't have to give up horses. Put the money from the sale into your Totally Separate and Untouchable horse account, which will be for buying your next horse when things stabilize.

Yes, x100.

[ACP]

But see, here's what will happen.

In your last trimester, and for the first few months after the baby is born, you won't have time and energy to go out to the horse. So then you need to find someone else to ride for you... which may even involve paying someone. And the horse gets unfit and naughty, and then you don't feel comfortable getting on until you put the time in, and you don't have the time...

If you're paycheck to paycheck now, that $2000 won't be enough. (It probably won't even cover your child's health insurance.)

Sell the horse. Find yourself a lesson barn or even a half-lease; there will be plenty of opportunities if you're a capable and reliable rider. You don't have to give up horses. Put the money from the sale into your Totally Separate and Untouchable horse account, which will be for buying your next horse when things stabilize.

This, for sure. DO NOT use the money from selling the horse to pay bills. You can use the board, training, vet, farrier stuff to pay bills. And DO NOT have a baby until all your debts are paid.

[TheHotSensitiveType]

My two cents.... Are you going to be able to ride your horse to his potential without keeping him in full training or will you have to keep him in full training the whole time while he gets to his potential? Is that you you find enjoyment in horses (i.e. pay to have someone else train your horse and you ride occasionally)? Does him reaching his 'full potential' matter to you? If it does matter to you, can you really afford it?

A story of a friend, she got a young horse with a ton of 'potential.' Put horse in training, trainer says horse has lots of 'potential' and is worth a lot of money and will be worth even more money with more training! (young horse is a really nice, talented horse) Horse hurts himself over the summer and has a rough nearly year long rehab, but trainer and owner think the horse is ready to get back to training. Horse determines that he is not interested in training; he gives the middle hoof whenever he does not want to do something, and agile/quick/talented enough to dump all but the most skilled. Horse that was 'worth a lot of money' was a give away.

If I was you, I would sell while he is 'worth a lot of money and full of potential,' pay bills off, or then buy something that I could enjoy now on less expensive.

[fooler]

Somethings to consider:
*Paycheck2Paycheck? Pass time for you and hubby to create a budget. If you think finances are hard now, just add a baby into the mix.
*First time conception after age 30 has it's own set of issues. Not to mention the increased risk for birth defects. You need to discussion with your OB/GYN. Of course you may be a baby making machine without any complications
*You may want to consider leasing your horse for the next 12 to 24 months. Cuts your expenses, allows you to vet a possible buyer of the horse, keeps the horse in training. Your trainer probably knows someone who is interested.
*As others have noted children in general are expensive and take a great deal of time. And they are adorable (most of the time). Most importantly they are forever.

[Kate66]

I agree with the others that, given that you board, you are best to sell the horse while he's going well. Don't go into being parents while you are living paycheck to paycheck. Quite apart from anything, god forbid, if anything goes wrong with your pregnancy or child, you will struggle from the medical bills. It's like your vet rainyday fund!

Here's my story - I bought a lovely Hanoverian and built a lovely full size dressage arena. I was 39 and the chances of getting pregnant were slim. Therefore, almost immediately thereafter I got pregnant! I made the mistake of thinking it would just be 9 months off riding. In fact the pregnancy only lasted 5 months. However, by then the mare was out of work. I then had to pay someone to bring her back to fitness and show her to any potential purchaser. She then broke her olecranon in the pasture, cost a fortune in vets bills while I tried to keep her on stall rest, pushing out a baby in a stroller with an oxygen bottle and then finally just ended up giving her away because I surely couldn't sell her anymore and I couldn't handle dealing with her and the baby. It was a nightmare and extremely stressful. Thankfully she ended up with a lovely home, but I ended up out of pocket for her and my lovely arena which was never ridden in again!

As for that 9 months off thing - here I am 5 years later and I am only just starting to ride my old gelding who I've had for 15 years. From a financial perspective at least I have my own place so wasn't forking out board.

However, as you are in Texas and have a wonderful horse and I am in Texas and have just got past the baby stage and am ready for a wonderful horse - I suggest you just give me your wonderful horse to ride for the next few years while you enjoy your 1st few years of mommyhood and then you can come and get your lovely horse back again :-)

[lolita1]

I'm on the sell now commitee babies are way more important than horses. You can always get another one later.

Leasing is a good way of avoiding the costs but make sure you put certain clauses in the contract such as an agreed number of shows etc that must be attended or a pick of show you believe the horse should go to. That way you don't lease the horse to someone that promises x but doesn't fulfil and leaves you with no alternative to regaining control of your horse. Additionally you need to be very careful about taking back the horse if the contract is broken ... don't sign open ended leases.

While I do think leases are good in principle the leasee could always return a "broken" horse.

[ACP]

I'm on the sell now commitee babies are way more important than horses. You can always get another one later.
.

Not everyone will agree with this. IF you really want a child, then a baby is more important that a horse.

[Kate66]

Not everyone will agree with this. IF you really want a child, then a baby is more important that a horse.

Well obviously as this whole thread is about the OP wondering whether to keep the horse because they do want to have a baby, it's a pretty relevant comment to this thread.