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The great disconnect...

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  • The great disconnect...

    ....between what you CAN do, what you WANT to do, and what you SHOULD do.

    Need some broad perspectives....

    Background:

    Bought green horse this summer. Carefully researched breed, breeder, bloodline. Picked out suitable young, unbroke horse. Started her under saddle.... and a month later, a health condition I have reared its ugly head and I've been out of commission since.

    I was told I could go back to riding a few weeks ago, however, then had a diagnostic test as part of the clearance, and was told I need additional follow up testing as issue is not resolved. So I'm back to sitting on the sidelines.

    Horse is going well under saddle, thanks to a friend who is riding her for me. Vet loves the horse, farrier loves the horse, BO loves the horse. Friend riding horse loves her. Everyone loves her! She's awesome.

    But, she's a baby horse. She does baby horse things. Not very often, she really is one of the most level-headed, sweetest, sanest horses I've ever come across.

    And, over the last few months, my aspirations have gone from wanting to show and ride quite a lot, to wanting to hack for 20 minutes 1x a week, W/T and a little canter.

    I'm not a pro and I'm not terribly accomplished but I can confidently say I CAN ride this mare. But SHOULD I be riding this mare, I am not sure, given the risk and my already tenuous health. She needs a good year of wet saddle blankets and mileage and I don't feel like I'm in a position to do that.

    This is the first time ever in my entire life that I've said "Hmmm maybe I shouldn't be riding this horse...."

    So, what do I do?

    Send her for training? (Though my budget would only allow a few months.)

    Sell? (The market is flooded I know, but she's a decent mover, sound, has had a good start, and would be a perfect horse for a confident kid or ammie.

    Or just do nothing and re-evaluate in a few months? (though my friend cannot ride her forever, and I have this thing about young horses sitting around doing nothing especially as she was started a little late...)

    I know what my gut instinct is telling me but I am curious to see what others have to say.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

  • #2
    Sell her.
    ~ Enjoying some guac and boxed wine at the Blue Saddle inn. ~

    Originally posted by LauraKY
    I'm sorry, but this has "eau de hoarder" smell all over it.
    HORSING mobile training app

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    • #3
      Originally posted by alibi_18 View Post
      Sell her.
      Ditto.

      Goes into the "If you have to ask, you know the answer" category.

      Good luck with it.
      Alis volat propriis.

      Comment


      • #4
        FG, I agree with the idea of selling. You have enough friends with horses that should you want to go get your horsey fix, you have access to horses.

        You know that should you ever just want to go out for a lazy hack and not have to worry about green horse antics, the fat spotted mare is ready and waiting.

        I did this when I got sick with the bone infection in my face. I knew I needed to have multiple reconstructions and would be out for quite some time. I couldn't justify keeping the young horses or the high maintenance showable horses. I opted to keep the fat spotted mare because she could sit for MONTHS (years even) and be the same slow, sane and safe ride.

        It was really tough and I hated rehoming them, but it was the best thing for me and the best for them too. I couldn't be what they needed me to be at that place in time.

        Comment


        • #5
          As we age, or deal with our lives -- goals will change.
          Trust me --- to ride or not to ride is your question more than...what to ride.

          It is SO pleasant to simply tack and go riding on a safe, trustworthy mount and enjoy yourself; than to always have *work to ride* facing you.

          Advice> when you do look for this new horse -- be sure they are doing what you want to do.

          Your mare? Im sure plenty of trainers would be willing to work wth you on her sale for an amount that will allow you to purchase a new horse-- it isnt about money anymore.
          IN GOD WE TRUST
          OTTB's ready to show/event/jumpers. Track ponies for perfect trail partners.
          http://www.horseville.com/php/search...=1&ssid=057680

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          • #6
            Flashy-if it was just you, and you wanted to take a small risk with keeping and riding the horse then I'd say keep her if you want to. However, it's not just you but your family, and it's too risky to take the chance of something happening to you. You can sell or full lease, but right now even though she's a good horse she's too young and inexperienced for you. When circumstances change you have to change with them, and do the best thing for you and your family.

            And since you have others you can hack on very safely, then I wouldn't buy for a long time.
            You can't fix stupid-Ron White

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            • Original Poster

              #7
              Originally posted by brightskyfarm View Post
              As we age, or deal with our lives -- goals will change.
              Trust me --- to ride or not to ride is your question more than...what to ride.

              It is SO pleasant to simply tack and go riding on a safe, trustworthy mount and enjoy yourself; than to always have *work to ride* facing you.

              Advice> when you do look for this new horse -- be sure they are doing what you want to do.

              Your mare? Im sure plenty of trainers would be willing to work wth you on her sale for an amount that will allow you to purchase a new horse-- it isnt about money anymore.
              So true. At this point, I'm ready to hang up the spurs, after all the ups and downs of the last few years. I told my friend just a few hours ago that I'm going to retire. Never in my life have I WANTED to take a break, but I'm there now.

              She is a *lovely* little mare. I think it is a case of timing, for sure. Great horse, wrong time.

              Snowflake, you've always been very kind to me throughout the horsey trials of the last few years, and I appreciate that so much! It helps to have supportive horsey friends. And I've yet to sit on your spotted mare, would love to do so sometime.

              Jan you are right-- if it were just about me, I'd take the chance and ride. But I've got young kids, and a husband who has grown increasingly concerned. It has made me stop and think, for sure.

              Anyway thanks all for the collective wisdom.
              We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh, I'm already there.

                Sadly, sold the horse of a lifetime. Bought an old lady packer.

                The man who bought my former horse is over the moon, and could never have afforded that quality of horse.

                I no longer worry when I throw a leg over my new horse. His idea of a spook is to look quickly in the direction of the "spooky" thing and sort of say "Oh, just a "insert spooky object" here. And quietly go back to what he was doing. Has just enough bad boy personality on the ground to keep me from being bored and feeling really old.

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                • #9
                  Hi Flash.

                  Please take this with a grain of salt and forgive me for the general stream of consciousness posting...in advance....

                  In the last few years, I've gone from riding several horses per day, no fear, to riding 0 in almost a year.

                  I've gone from having my own small "herd" as well as a few others I hopped on from time to time down to one steady eddy whom I've had for 21 years.

                  I've gone from being a single gal with no worries who could hang at the barn til 10, eat some ramen and call it good to one with a husband and two children who depend on me for having a roof over their heads, insurance, food on the table, rides to and from stuff, etc.

                  I miss horses.

                  One of the biggest thrills in my life was to have a great ride and now I've straddled a horse maybe two times in 12 mos.

                  My vote? Keep her. Keep having a friend ride her. Take necessary precautions. If it's looking like a hairy day? do what the horse can do well and get off. No fights. But keep on keeping on.

                  Because once you get out of it for too long, it's hard to get it back.

                  Even if you take a year break from riding and she sits? She'll be fine. If you like her and she's a good egg? You can pick it back up in a year with a trainer after you've saved some $$.

                  I rehomed my "good" horse to keep my "good egg" horse. I don't regret it per se, but I know that I won't be competing for years. YEARS. Just as I was starting to find my path and focus, I had to stop. Life. <shrugs>

                  I don't regret that I have backed off horses to take part in family stuff per se. I just miss horses and what they do for my SOUL.

                  Keep her. Another year isn't going to make it or break it. If you're this keen on her, give her a chance to grow a brain. Save up the $$ and send her to someone you trust. Take the precautions you can.

                  But keeping a horse person away from horses kind of drains the whole life blood from them (I think).

                  I need horses like air or water or food. But I'm starving. I don't regret my choices to focus on family per se, but I am not me without it. I too have encountered some health things that are also contributing and making my choices harder (Lupus). But someday soon, I want my life back.

                  Don't give yours away without more careful thought.

                  Best wishes.
                  A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                  Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                  Comment

                  • Original Poster

                    #10
                    Originally posted by 2ndyrgal View Post
                    Has just enough bad boy personality on the ground to keep me from being bored and feeling really old.
                    Ha I love it.... I think I am really missing my old man, too, who was actually just like that!

                    I suck at selling horses, and dread the thought. At the same time, I've spent a lot of years trying to Make It Work with horses that were not a good fit. In this instance, it isn't fair to the horse OR me to do that, and I'm wise enough to recognize it. She's too nice to be wasted, truly.

                    This horse needs a 14 year old girl... to braid her tail and ride her for hours and paint her hooves pink and fuss over her.... ride her bareback and swim in the pond and run fast and jump and all that great stuff.

                    I'm not in a hurry, so maybe that girl will find us somehow!
                    Last edited by FlashGordon; Dec. 23, 2011, 05:43 PM. Reason: add info
                    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

                    Comment

                    • Original Poster

                      #11
                      BuddyRoo, I miss you! We are living parallel lives, woman! I too have SLE.

                      My biggest fear is being the Woman Who Used To Ride, but I need to figure out how to strike a balance between giving it up and staying safe.
                      Last edited by FlashGordon; Dec. 23, 2011, 05:43 PM.
                      We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Sent you a PM. ((hugs))
                        A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

                        Might be a reason, never an excuse...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by FlashGordon View Post
                          This horse needs a 14 year old girl... to braid her tail and ride her for hours and paint her hooves pink and fuss over her.... ride her bareback and swim in the pond and run fast and jump and all that great stuff.

                          I'm not in a hurry, so maybe that girl will find us somehow!
                          Great Ad!

                          No, Im not kidding! Ive done ads like this and had awesome (and the just right) buyers call!
                          I just now opened a Christmas Card with pictures from 2 sisters who bought a qh mare for trail riding last spring They are dressed in Santa garb, horses have bells and all dressed up in garlands and hats.... with smiles! Sold due to an ad just like the above statement.

                          The right ones always come along.
                          Last week we sold a palomino qh gelding to a 60-something mother who wanted to (re)ride with her grown daughter -- same kind of horse as 2ndyrgals's......... lots of people looked, many got off saying he was *boring* (Yikes).. but this lady Loves him, perfect for her (todays) needs.!

                          I retrain the tb's, but you can be sure I take the trail appy for the pleasure rides --- In the near future, I will be taking a seat next to you on this subject. I do intend to ride until death, even if it takes a hoyer lift to get me up there LOL
                          IN GOD WE TRUST
                          OTTB's ready to show/event/jumpers. Track ponies for perfect trail partners.
                          http://www.horseville.com/php/search...=1&ssid=057680

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'm in the keep her camp. If she's sane and you really like her, why sell. So, she sits. And....?? If you find the 14 yo girl, rethink the issue but for the time being, let life alone.

                            I think I understand where you're coming from. I've had to look past my beloved colts-to-start-because-I-don't-like-the-way-most-horses-are-started and look for a more steady eddy, who is gonna have to horse-up and deal with western dressage. Kind of a change goin' on.
                            GR24's Musing #19 - Save the tatas!!

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                            • Original Poster

                              #15
                              I'm definitely not going to do anything rash or make any quick decisions, I'd like her to get going a bit more under saddle anyway. But it's in the back of my head, and should that 14 year old come along.... well yeah, you're right, then we will revisit.

                              It is truly just a situation of balancing needs/wants/ability. Am I the rider I was a few years ago? Probably not. It's hard sometimes to reconcile the rider you are with the one you used to be....kwim?
                              We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                A middle road would be to lease her to that 14 year old girl, via Pony Club if possible and then see where you are in a few years.

                                On the other hand, a 16 year old dead broke, sound, talented Oldenburg/TB cross just fell in my lap a few months ago . . . so the perfect horse can come along too, as well as the perfect rider.

                                I can't tell from your post if you should just wait a little while and let the horse become more mature, or if you should sell her and find a very safe, calm trail horse. The middle road lets you take some time to decide.

                                Good luck. You don't need an answer this instant. Think on it awhile.
                                https://www.facebook.com/SugarMapleFarm
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                                • #17
                                  I'd keep her for a bit. Re-evaluate in the spring.
                                  Jigga:
                                  Why must you chastise my brilliant idea with facts and logic? **picks up toys (and wine) and goes home**

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                                  • Original Poster

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by SMF11 View Post
                                    A middle road would be to lease her to that 14 year old girl, via Pony Club if possible and then see where you are in a few years.
                                    That was one of my thoughts too, SMF. She really would be a perfect, easy project for the right kid. And I'd rather lease her to the right home indefinitely, than sell her on randomly just for the sake of selling, kwim?

                                    Your new horse sounds lovely, enjoy him!!
                                    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

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                                    • #19
                                      FG-that sounds like a great idea, and I love that you would still have control over the horse. You never know exactly where life will lead you, and it sounds like it's a good plan for now. I'm sure the right situation will come along.
                                      You can't fix stupid-Ron White

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                                      • #20
                                        Flash, I think you know in your heart if she is or isn't your heart horse. I think life is to short to be without your hearts desire.

                                        I think leasing her to someone sounds great and maybe doing a partial lease on a made horse so you can ride once or twice a week.

                                        Jingling for us all to have our "perfict" horses in the New Year!
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                                        Equine Art capturing the essence of the grace,strength, and beauty of the Sport Horse."

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