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How many COTH members does it take to change a light bulb?

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  • How many COTH members does it take to change a light bulb?

    Okay, I will probably get my hand slapped because this isn't really horse related, but it's too funny not to share! Hopefully Mod1 will leave it up for a while...

    Well, it's sort of horse related, because I swapped out "dog" for "horse" towards the end. Does that count?

    How many COTH members does it take to change a light bulb?

    One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

    Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

    Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

    Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

    Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.

    Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

    Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

    Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.

    Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take
    this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

    Eleven to defend the posting to the group saying that we all use light bulbs
    And therefore the posts are relevant to this group.

    Thirty six to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior,
    Where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

    Seven to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

    Four to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

    Three to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

    Thirteen to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

    Five to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

    Four to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

    Thirteen to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs."

    Three to tell a funny story about their horse and a light bulb.


    One COTH lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now with something unrelated and start it all over again.
    Last edited by jenm; Oct. 6, 2011, 02:26 AM. Reason: changed title
    Proud owner of a Slaughter-Bound TB from a feedlot, and her surprise baby...!

  • #2
    Be careful. It is dangerous to change a lightbulb (light bulb) while standing on a horse's back. (Okay, now we need six more to post about the dangers of changing the bulbs.)

    I love these things.


    • #3
      "Sadly, some people's greatest skill, is being an idiot". (facebook profile pic I saw).


      • #4
        And one to point out horses can see fine in the dark.
        They don't need any light bulbs.


        • #5
          Too funny! And I will make this HR now...can someone please copy and paste the different breeds changing lighbulbs? ya know, where the QH and Appy owners bet which horse can do it faster and the TB does it lightening fast
          Originally posted by The Saddle
          Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.


          • #6
            *snork* That about sums it up in a nutshell (or nut shell), speaking of which, how many nutshells........


            • #7
              Originally posted by rustbreeches View Post
              Too funny! And I will make this HR now...can someone please copy and paste the different breeds changing lighbulbs? ya know, where the QH and Appy owners bet which horse can do it faster and the TB does it lightening fast
              Google gave me these, I'm sure there are other versions floating around somewhere.
              Thoroughbred: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I’m scared of light bulbs! I’m outta here!

              Arabian: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?

              Quarter Horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.

              Shetland: Give it to me. I’ll kill it and we won’t have to worry about it anymore.

              Friesian: I would, but I can’t see where I’m going from behind all this mane.

              Belgian: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.

              Warmblood: Doesn’t anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the TB get back here and do it.

              Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I’m gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! I’ll rewire the barn after, too.

              Appaloosa: Ya’ll are a bunch of losers. We don’t need to change the lightbulb, I ain’t scared of the dark. And someone make that damn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him.

              Haflinger: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?

              Mustang: Lightbulb? Let’s go on a trail ride, instead. And camp. Out in the open like REAL horses.

              Standardbred: Oh for Pete’s Sake, give me the damn bulb and let’s be done with it.

              Lipizzaner: Hah, amateurs. I will change the lightbulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn’t think so.

              Miniature: I bet you think I can’t do it just cause I’m small. You know what that is? It’s sizeism!

              Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the lightbulb to my personal groom after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle, but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.

              Cleveland Bay: I’m busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.

              Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.

              POA: I’m not changing it. I’m the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now, excuse me, I have a grain room to break into.

              Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and changed it while you were all arguing.

              I found one for the riders!
              ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse / respiration / hydration levels to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. Um, any chance that the light bulb could assist me in my conditioning regimen.....

              DRESSAGE QUEEN: Me! Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought!

              CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things can not be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.

              EVENTER: Hmm, as soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It will put hair on your chest. Only prissy Dressage Queens require lights, anyway.

              SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my bum. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.

              NATURAL HORSEMAN: You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video available at $99.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.


              • #8
                Thank you Teacup!!
                Originally posted by The Saddle
                Perhaps I need my flocking adjusted.


                • #9
                  where am I, what day is it, am I still having a good time?


                  • #10
                    I had not read that one about riders, very funny.

                    Need some western event riders mentioned there also.


                    • #11
                      Love all of those! Too funny!
                      No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill
                      For Hope, For Strength, For Life-Delta Gamma
                      www.etsy.com/shop/joiedevivrecrafts Custom Wreaths and Other Decorations


                      • Original Poster

                        Originally posted by Bluey View Post
                        I had not read that one about riders, very funny.

                        Need some western event riders mentioned there also.
                        I've seen the horse one, but have also not seen the one about riders. I'm sure it will only be a matter of time before Reiners, Ropers and other western disciplines are added by someone clever.
                        Proud owner of a Slaughter-Bound TB from a feedlot, and her surprise baby...!


                        • #13
                          I want a Standardbred. Or just a grade horse. Wait, I already have one of those ...
                          "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

                          Spay and neuter. Please.


                          • #14
                            Miniature: I bet you think I can’t do it just cause I’m small. You know what that is? It’s sizeism!

                            This one had me crying I was laughing so hard. The rest are funny - but this one is PRICELESS!!!
                            Originally posted by SmartAlex

                            Give it up. Many of us CoTHers are trapped at a computer all day with no way out, and we hunt in packs. So far it as all been in good fun. You should be thankful for that.


                            • #15
                              Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry.


                              • #16
                                Instead of wasting light bulbs leaving them on until midnight, just body clip already. And report back on whether you clipped wet or dry, and with what brand clippers, and what brand of chapstick you mistakenly wore while clipping.
                                Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans


                                • #17
                                  THE BREEDER- Is the light bulb the correct wattage to bring the mare in to heat? Make sure that there is a timer set up so that the light bulb goes on as scheduled. We will also need a live video stream to make sure that the timer is working and that the light bulb is on and that the mare is winking!
                                  Oldenburg foals and young prospects
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                                  • #18
                                    Can you be more specific about the light bulb and how you want to use it?


                                    • #19
                                      The use of light bulbs is what precipitated the downfall of the real horseman. Back when you had to grow your own tree, cut it down, and start a fire from the kindling with your bare hands just so you could see to mount your bridle-less horse bareback and without a helmet in order to ride 20 miles uphill in the snow we had actual horsemen, not just passengers. Quite frankly, if you didn't learn to ride back then you have no hope of ever understanding anything about horses and should probably just embark on a career as a light bulb changer and forget horses entirely.
                                      My daughter's blog about all things eventing, fashion, and pony!


                                      • #20
                                        They left out the Hunter rider- "What color bulb is popular this year? Is there a certain name brand bulb all of the BNT's are using? Everybody WAIT! I need to get my trainer to stand beside me while I change it".