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Fess up - who has a hidden horse or two?

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  • #21
    Originally posted by CosMonster View Post
    Huh, this thread just made me realize that I think I have a "hidden" one right now. I got her in August and I'm pretty sure I haven't told my partner. We have our separate accounts for our hobbies so it really wouldn't matter to him, and in fact when he first saw her (before I acquired her) he wanted me to buy her so he'll probably be happy about it. It was such a casual thing I'm just not sure I ever thought to tell him.

    Ah, well, he'll find out eventually. It's not like I'm actively keeping the secret, he's just gone almost all the time for work (OTR trucker) and I don't think about things like that when we're talking on the phone. Maybe I'll remember the next time he calls.

    That's how my ex found out about my second 2. I never asked, or told him, i just brought them up in conversation. It wasn't until I mentioned that "GirlHorse" was in heat that he realized she was female that he goes "Um isn't your horse named "Boy Horse" and a male?" and i'm like.. no that's the other one. and he's like oh, ok. how many horses do you have? and I said 3.. G1, G2 and Boy.
    "Sadly, some people's greatest skill, is being an idiot". (facebook profile pic I saw).

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    • #22
      No, I don't do this. All horses are out in the open and all bills are above board.
      "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

      http://s1098.photobucket.com/albums/...2011%20Photos/

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      • #23
        SO said no cats. I ended up with one, he said don't you dare get another. Uh huh and then there was 2. Hey I felt bad her owner was dying of cancer the cat was 8yrs old who is really going to take an 8yr old cat??? Come on! Plus she was right in town where I worked. The neighbor was so happy I was going to take her. I guess no one else replied to the ad.

        Can't do it with horses. Since he's head trainer he'd totally notice I was jogging several or another horse. And he'd notice at feed time. No way to get around that one.
        A. Stables

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        • #24
          Well I actually had the hidden horse from my parents. Which wasn't too big a cover up until the day I fell off and broke my leg. I was so scared to get found out I snuck inside, dragged my crippled self up the stairs and went to bed. BAD idea. My ankle was huge in the morning and I was in a ton of pain. Should have had it treated right away. I made up a lame excuse about tripping off my friends front step and twisting my ankle. Dad took me to get it xrayed and sure enough, there were 2 small fractures. The doctor kept saying, "You're SURE you just fell off a step? Because this kind of fracture is always seen in a fall from a very tall height" (my 16.3hh horse had LAUNCHED me into the air). I never actually told my parents about the horse and sold him shortly after. I think its kind of karma though because that leg injury has been a big issue even years later. It's my little reminder about things biting you in the arse when you lie.

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          • #25
            Originally posted by katarine View Post
            Nope. I'm not about to do such a thing- he helps me feed, hay, doctor, and manage them: betraying his confidence with another mouth to feed behind his back is a huge violation of trust.

            If you married a jackass you have to hide things from, though, maybe you deserve each other, who am I to judge. But no, not in my DNA to do such a thing .
            This.

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            • #26
              I would never honestly. I may not tell them untill after I've done it (you know, the whole easier to get forgiveness then permission thing), but not lie for years. For me, it's my money anyways - and while SO does not "get" horses, he loves me and wants me to be happy.

              I had a BF years ago that told me "After we get married if you bring pets home without my permission I'll shoot them". Needless to say, this is why he's an Ex.
              www.felixfjord.blogspot.com

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              • #27
                When my Mother was still alive I never told her I had 5 horses. She knew I had one and when I retired one horse and bought # 2 I don't think I told her for about 6 months or longer. Then I went into breeding a few race horses with current BF and had 3 more (mare, foal at side and yearling) which Mother never knew anything about. She also didn't know about BF either because I knew from experience she wouldn't have approved of the King of Siam. Thank heavens she lived in PA/FL while I lived in NY.
                Sue

                I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people...I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

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                • #28
                  Do model horses count? Um, most of my artist resin collection was hidden until DH drove me to the last show.

                  He was like this:

                  I said "oh some of those I've had for years" which was absolutely true. He just didn't know about them
                  HaHA! Made-est Thou Look!

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                  • #29
                    I'm the one who comes home to owning new horses. It doesn't happen intentionally, and I'm told as soon as feasible most times. Its just the nature of the business. Sometimes I get a say though I actually called hubby from work midday yesterday and was told I own a new horse. I said um, who? Got the name, looked up the record, and in a matter of minutes said no, I do not. Gave my reasons, saved us money and hassle, and we won't be taking her. On the other hand, I expect to own another new horse today. Viva la loca.

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                    • #30
                      Never hid a horse - never intend to. My husband is my best buddy. He does fencing, "vet" work, acts as my spotter when I break out new ones/young ones, goes to endurance rides with me, truck/trailer maintenance, mowing pastures, hauling hay, etc..... He knows just about everything there is to know about every horse I own. There's no way I could hide one if I wanted to. He notices if a horse looks "off" or didn't eat their hay, or other little details. And he's not even a horse person. Just an engineer with a mind like a steel trap.

                      I could not imagine lying to my best bud in such a way. He has an expensive car hobby and he gets to buy and do whatever he wants. I do the same with my hobby. It's a mutal agreement and there's no need to tarnish our relationship over it.

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                      • #31
                        Originally posted by Brooke View Post
                        I once had a client whose two kids were in training with me - each with a horse. Her husband knew the kids had horses, but had no idea how much she was spending. Each time she went to the grocery store, she wrote a check for more than the amount, pocketed the cash and paid me each month in what she had squirreled away. I'm sure glad he never asked me how much they were paying. I don't think I could have lied to him.
                        Unbelievable.

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                        • #32
                          I could never do that. I ways think in the "what if something happened to me, who would look after them?"

                          My DH is the best and would let me have anything I want even if money was tight. Knowing that I have to be careful or I would end up with more then I can look after.
                          My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

                          Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed

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                          • #33
                            Originally posted by Auventera Two View Post
                            Never hid a horse - never intend to. My husband is my best buddy. He does fencing, "vet" work, acts as my spotter when I break out new ones/young ones, goes to endurance rides with me, truck/trailer maintenance, mowing pastures, hauling hay, etc..... He knows just about everything there is to know about every horse I own. There's no way I could hide one if I wanted to. He notices if a horse looks "off" or didn't eat their hay, or other little details. And he's not even a horse person. Just an engineer with a mind like a steel trap.
                            You too? We are VERY lucky and among the minority. My "non-horsey" husband can spot thrush, lameness, weight loss, personality changes and can tell good from bad hay. He feeds, bathes, wraps, trailers, holds horses, lunges horses and even goes by the nickname "Stable Boy" for kicks and giggles. I am so fortunate, and he actually really enjoys it and I even got him to marry me on horseback.

                            He is a saint...I think I will keep him...

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                            • #34
                              A "famous person" example: Ann Romney, the wife of Mitt Romney, owns and rides dressage horses. In a New York Times interview, someone asked her how many horses she owns and she said "Dressage is a sport of seven-figure horses and four-figure saddles. The monthly boarding costs are more than most people’s rent. Asked how many dressage horses she owns, Mrs. Romney laughed. 'Mitt doesn’t even know the answer to that,' she said. 'I’m not going to tell you!'" To be fair, she *does* have her own money.

                              (I've met her -- she had a horse boarded at a barn where I took lessons -- and she's very sweet. Not my stripe of politics, but that's OK.)
                              You have to have experiences to gain experience.

                              1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

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                              • #35
                                All above board. I treat my husband with the same respect with which I would want to be treated. If he felt like he needed to hide expensive purchases from me, I'd be puzzled and hurt.

                                If I am spending so much on a horse that I can't disclose it to him, perhaps I'm spending too much and should think twice about the purchase.

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                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by SunkenMeadow View Post
                                  You too? We are VERY lucky and among the minority. My "non-horsey" husband can spot thrush, lameness, weight loss, personality changes and can tell good from bad hay. He feeds, bathes, wraps, trailers, holds horses, lunges horses and even goes by the nickname "Stable Boy" for kicks and giggles. I am so fortunate, and he actually really enjoys it and I even got him to marry me on horseback.

                                  He is a saint...I think I will keep him...
                                  My partner does all that too (when he's home) (well, I don't let him longe because I'm very particular about it but he'd be willing to). I'm lucky too, though I'd be luckier if he would quit #$%# driving and be home more often.

                                  I feel like I should clarify too that I buy and sell horses for a big part of my business, and this mare was in training for several months before she was given to me, so he knows the mare is there and he doesn't really care to know every single horse I buy and sell. It's not quite the same as if I just owned one or two other horses, but I really like this horse and am planning on keeping her for awhile so I should probably mention it.
                                  exploring the relationship between horse and human

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                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by Brooke View Post
                                    I once had a client whose two kids were in training with me - each with a horse. Her husband knew the kids had horses, but had no idea how much she was spending. Each time she went to the grocery store, she wrote a check for more than the amount, pocketed the cash and paid me each month in what she had squirreled away. I'm sure glad he never asked me how much they were paying. I don't think I could have lied to him.

                                    When I taught lessons at a boarding barn, we had a boarder who would always pay her board in cash, so her husband would never find out how much she spent. He knew she has a horse, he just didn't know how expensive she was. She was a Western rider, and never took lessons from me. To be honest I'm glad - I would've hated to be part of that.
                                    The Equine Wellness and Nutrition FB Group - Come join us!!
                                    https://www.facebook.com/groups/equinewellness/

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                                    • #38
                                      I had a hidden horse for a couple of months. She's above board now, and given the reaction I got when I finally 'fessed up, I probably ought to have spilled the beans right away.


                                      My parents aren't horsey, they support my love of horses and understood the pain and sadness I went through after the death of my beloved old Thoroughbred. They also were sympathetic when my half-lease fell through on a little black Quarter/Morgan mare that same year, and supported my purchase of my Haflinger 4 months later (Dad even pitched in on the purchase) although I've been paying for him entirely since.

                                      So when I found that little mare on Craigslist, 3 years after my lease ended, I knew I had to get her back. I moved my Haflinger from full care to self care and put her on to self care too. My parents knew the Haffie was moving to self care, but not why. I only told them part of the reason -- to get him off the hay they were feeding at the barn which was making him too fat. The reason why I didn't tell them was because I wasn't sure how they'd react to me getting horse #2, particularly since this was a horse I'd had a bond with in the past and was special to me.

                                      Turns out, they were actually pretty happy for me.
                                      "My time here is ended. Take what I have taught you and use it well." -- Revan

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                                      • #39
                                        I guess I never understood the rationale behind "hiding" a large, expensive animal from your spouse..and we wonder why divorce rates are so high??

                                        I never have and I never will..big reason is, I don't feel it's right to keep things like that from your SO..and he is a horse person as well..

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          I don't know how anyone has the self control not to blurt out about the new horse to anyone who will listen.
                                          My last 'secret horse' was a christmas present for my sister (who's an adult). She was finishing college when my mother and I picked up a nice little GRP for a song. I have never had to abrubtly hang up on my sister so often...
                                          It's just tooo tempting to tell her "oh, Pony did the more adorable thing today" Or "Pony is going to be just perfect for you"....

                                          I think she was starting to feel unloved on how often my mom and I abruptly ended the call (bad reception.. you know). Fortunatly now Pony is above board so we can all share the pony stories....

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