• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Major, long-standing attachment issue - Advice??

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Major, long-standing attachment issue - Advice??

    A bit of background:
    About 7 years ago, I added a 10 year old 15.1 hand cute little bay to my trailer during an OTTB buying expedition. His owner needed him gone yesterday and he really did not care where. This seemed sad to me given that the horse had raced 98 times over the past 7 years and it seemed the scrappy little fellow deserved a chance.

    I turned him out at home to give him time to adjust to life on our farm. He immediately became attached to any and all horses around him. I am used to dealing with some attachment issues but this is extreme.

    After three years with no improvement, I found him a home with a patient trail rider thinking that maybe a change from our farm would help.

    Several months ago, he shows up for sale. I call about him and find out that nothing has changed so, afraid of where he might end up, I take him back.

    He is now 17 and just as bad as ever. When out with other horses he is happy but un-catchable and difficult to manage when you do get him. He currently lives by himself but across the fence from other horses. He is fine when they are out but he loses his mind when they come in to eat. When put on a farm by himself, he eventually calms down but, after coming home, he is immediately attached again. It is not about specific horses - any horse will do.

    Has anyone ever dealt with attachment this extreme? He will always have a home here but it I hate that he can't have a job because his neurotic little mind can't relax since there are other horses about. I have tried everything, for years at this point. He may never change but if anyone has any suggestions I would be happy to give them a try!!!

    Thanks,
    Jammie
    Last edited by horseshoe56; Aug. 29, 2011, 04:11 PM. Reason: Typo

  • #2
    If he has 17, and you have been dealing with the same issue for years, he probably won't change. The horse is clearly showing you who he is.

    If it were me, and I could afford it.... at this point, I'd find him a permanent buddy and just live with the fact that they have to be together 24/7. Maybe a pony, a mini, or a retired horse. And just let him be the clingy boyfriend.

    Some may disagree with me but really how long can you bang your head against the wall?

    Might be worth discussing with your vet, if you haven't already.... just to make sure there is nothing physical going on that may heighten his anxiety level.
    We couldn't all be cowboys, so some of us are clowns.

    Comment


    • #3
      I relearned to ride on a very, very herdbound mare. She was in her 20s, and wasn't going to change. Started with trail rides with her owner riding her buddy; the first few times we went out the mare put her nose on his rump and could barely stand to be more than a few feet from him. She got better over time, riding with a buddy horse, and eventually I could ride her in an indoor attached to the barn and after a few minutes of calling, she'd settle. But that is really all she was capable of; she just needed other horses nearby, poor neurotic little soul. She went lame and I graduated to riding her buddy, and OMG the DRAMA whenever we took him away. (He was, and still is, a saint of a horse, and put up with all her shenanigans and was not herdbound to her, so we could take him away.)

      So if you have a friend who rides and a second horse to ride, maybe you can work with this guy while riding with someone else. But he probably is who he is, complete with herdboundness.
      You have to have experiences to gain experience.

      1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia "More Valley Girl Than Girl Scout!"

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree with the suggestion of getting him a permanent buddy that goes everywhere with him.

        Unless you are leading a very competitive life with him just let him have a friend that he knows is always there because it will make both of your lives easier they are herd animals and that is a deep instinct to try and override and train out... It's easier to work with if they have a buddy that is always there. Then you can take him away for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc and he always goes back to the same friend.
        Strong promoter of READING the entire post before responding.

        Comment


        • #5
          If you can afford him, can you just call him retired and let him be the pasture buddy for everyone else? Or is he a danger to himself?

          I know it's a PITA having a horse like him. I had a horse that ran fences for 5 days straight and lost about 100 pounds when I had to separate him from the mares who were beating him to a pulp. It was excruciating for both of us...it never got better and he broke down pretty bad and was ultimately euthanized (he had a chronic injury that couldn't heal from his manic behavior). It was very, very sad having a a horse that insecure. One of the hardest times in my horse experience.

          Comment

          • Original Poster

            #6
            Thanks to everyone for sharing.

            After trying everything with this guy, I began to believe there was no fixing him but one can hope !

            It is very important to me that my horses live as stress-free a life as possible and this poor guy just can't let the stress go. Too bad I can't teach him to meditate!!! Turned out alone, he is ridable but he never really gives you his full attention since a part of his brain is always aware of the other horses. If turned out with others then he is settled and happy in the field but it is almost impossible to work with him.

            I am lucky enough to have the facility to just put him out in a situation where he will never be alone. While he can't have a job, it seems the best way to make him happy.

            Thanks again and if anyone else has a miracle cure I am certainly listening!!!

            Jammie

            Comment


            • #7
              I'm glad he's with you. He worked hard and you're very kind to understand his needs and let him just be a horse.

              Comment

              Working...
              X