• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

They Will Never Understand!

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • They Will Never Understand!

    A minor vent. Welcome to join, agree, or argue! I know it's been done before.

    I'm getting rather tired of non-horsey folks' attitudes towards the amount of money spent on horses. I pay the bills, not you. That said:

    YES, I pay more to board, feed, shoe and show them than I do in rent and utilities.

    YES, 'all' I get for it is a stupid ribbon (if I'm lucky). Or even worse, if I'm not showing - all I do is ride around in circles (their words, not mine).

    YES, the time I am required to spend to care for them equates to a second job (albeit a part time one). That's why I make that funny face when you ask 'so, what do you like to do for fun?' after I've already told you I have a young dog and two actively showing horses.

    Folks, I've dreamed about horses as long as I can remember. I drew countless pictures of them, stared longingly at every horse in a roadside pasture and lived from one vacation trail ride to the next until I finally drove my Mom crazy enough to pay for some lessons. I have boxes full of plastic horses of every brand, size, color, and shape, and the fact that Barbie's legs don't bend that way didn't deter me from plopping her atop that steed.

    No, horses aren't everything...but they sure are something.

    It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - TS Eliot

  • #2
    Originally posted by Heinz 57 View Post
    Folks, I've dreamed about horses as long as I can remember. I drew countless pictures of them, stared longingly at every horse in a roadside pasture and lived from one vacation trail ride to the next until I finally drove my Mom crazy enough to pay for some lessons. I have boxes full of plastic horses of every brand, size, color, and shape, and the fact that Barbie's legs don't bend that way didn't deter me from plopping her atop that steed.
    I lived out my dream of owning horses and living on a horse farm and I still jump the shadows, fire hydrants, mail boxes, etc. along the road while driving. I wish my actual horse's lead changes were as good as my imaginary road grand prix horse's lead changes!

    I'm gonna get in a wreck on day


    • #3
      It's hilarious. One of my non-horsey friends took me to task for buying my horse - my $1500 horse and the care he requires. I pointed out to her that she pays the equivalent or more her smart phone, cable, car payment, etc. She just gave me a look. Wouldn't you know it, in the same conversation she related to us a piece of art she spent $1500 on and more to frame it. I pointed this out and she said it was different because her art was an investment. Where's an eyeroll icon when you need one!

      He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


      • #4
        Where else can I get physical exercise, physical therapy, mental therapy, and a quiet space to work on my grants and papers, all at the same place and time? Can't do all that with a smart phone!
        a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues


        • #5
          I went to the GYN doctor yesterday for my yearly check-up. The nurse who was doing the preliminary exam asked, among other things, if there had been any "social changes" in my life, meaning marriages, divorces, deaths, etc. I said that I'd had to have my horse put down in February.

          Amazingly, she said she understood, and said that they had lost her daughter's horse because of colic not long ago. I almost cried with relief that somebody knew that it could be a big thing in your life for your horse to die. Sometimes empathy is there when you least expect it!


          • #6
            I have a friend who smokes. She is appalled at the amount of money I spend on horses. I pointed out that she spent about the same amount of money on cigarettes as I did on board. She rolled her eyes and said I didn't understand. Nope, I didn't, and I still don't. My hobby provides exercise, entertainment, crazy stories, and good friends, and I am happy to pay for it. Her hobby gives her cancer.


            • #7
              My brother is appalled at the money I spend on my horses. My brother, with the gym membership. And three kids. And two houses.
              I'm not ignoring the rules. I'm interpreting the rules. Tamal, The Great British Baking Show


              • #8
                I understand completely. Horses are therapy. For we who are "Horse Crazy" anyway. The best thing there is for a person with PTSD is to go out on trail rides and have fun just going out in the woods for a long ride. Same goes for the horses with PTSD.
                Non-horse people will never understand because they do not want to. As mentioned above the cigarettes and clothes and perfumes and lots of "Lady Stuff" cost lots more than what our horses do.
                I went without much of what my husbands friends wives had because I wanted the horses in my life.
                I don't even try to explain it to the outsiders. Horse people fully understand.
                When we had to put down our Polish Arab it broke our hearts. My non-horse friends said "It was just a horse". No it was not just a horse. He was our friend.
                No they will never understand. Horses are good for people. That is what counts.


                • #9
                  Yup. Goes for dog owners too, for that matter.

                  I came up with these a few months ago when thinking along those lines...



                  ...and yeah, okay, this one too:


                  Horse & Dog Designs: Clothing, Home Decor, Custom Gifts, ETC:
                  WoofNWhinny*GIFT IDEAS for Horse Lovers!
                  Fabric, Shoes, & Nail Art
                  Personalized Gifts for Adults, Kids & Babies


                  • #10
                    Amen Heinz! Add the injuries we incur with horses and people really get on your case! If I'd done any of my various injuries (blown disc, torn ACL, broken collar bone, most recent arm/shoulder/ribs) doing any "acceptable" sport like skiing or cycling then no one would tell me to stop that dumb hobby.

                    I've rolled my eyes at co-workers who do kid-related things from vacations to sick days and bitch about the cost, but god forbid I should whinge slightly about the money I had to spend on a vet bill, or how much the last show cost! Those expenses or time spent is just silly business.

                    I don't own a smart phone, I use a bunny-eared TV, we don't vacation, we live in 35 year old house and the bathroom is all original--blue fixtures and all. My friends can't understand why we don't remodel and take a vacay every now and again. Why not? I own horses. I vacay at shows and love making my barn look amazing--cause that's what really matters to me
                    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!


                    • #11
                      Sometimes I feel guilty about what I spend on my horse habit...especially when I consider those starving in Somalia or still barely existing in Haiti. But my kids have healthy college funds and I make sure my bills are paid so I figure if I'm going to spend more than 40 hours a week earning a paycheck some of it might as well go towards something that makes me happy.

                      Besides, there are tons of hobbies that are more time and money consuming. Golf, racing cars. Well, maybe not tons but there are a few.


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by meaty ogre View Post
                        Besides, there are tons of hobbies that are more time and money consuming. Golf, racing cars. Well, maybe not tons but there are a few.
                        And when was the last time a golf ball snuffled your hair,or your race car nickered at you when you put gas in it?

                        Sadly, some people just don't get it, will never get it, so I don't waste my time anymore trying to explain it.
                        Stallions are from Mars.
                        Mares are from Venus.
                        Ponies are from Hell!


                        • #13
                          I so understand! I spend quiet a chunk on the boys every month but they are my main source of entertainment! LOL I LIKE giving them baths, rasping their hooves and studying barefoot trimming!!! I LIKE searching for a new place to ride and the JOY of ordering a custom saddle - I guess some could equate it to buying Louis Vitton shoes or a Coach purse of which I own NEITHER.

                          I do have a G4 phone but it is a business expense, we don't go on vacations...the only vacation I want to go on is one where I can take my horse!

                          I am not a shopper unless it is horsey stuff, I don't have my nails and pedi's done. My hair I let go until I look like Madam Mem on Disney's Sword and the Stone. My Rav is nearly 5 years old and I don't think I will be trading it in any time soon. I don't need anymore doodads...I have a ton of them. But I would like an LQ trailer if the Horsey Fairy is listening!
                          Logging Miles with the Biscuit 530.5 Miles for 2011 visit my trail riding blog at www.dashingbigred.blogspot.com


                          • #14
                            My sisters-who grew up with the horses and have moved to lesser houses because of better barns as kids-say the same things!! No, we don't have the money they do,and yes, due to circumstances beyond our control money is way tight right now, but my girls don't do sports like theirs do/did. One sister had a dd that did competitive dance and cheerleading, the other does lacrosse and swim team. THe other sister had boys that played baseball, football, and basketball. Spend 200 on a bat and then fuss at me because I spend money monthly on the horses for my kids to enjoy?

                            She may not have changed the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man, and she rode good horses….author unknown


                            • #15
                              The non-horsey people in my life have no clue how much horse things cost or how much I spend.

                              Life is much easier that way
                              Auventera Two:Some women would eat their own offspring if they had some dipping sauce.
                              Serious Leigh: it sounds like her drama llama should be an old schoolmaster by now.


                              • #16
                                RockinHorse, I was just going to say the same thing. Why would you even try to explain the benefit, let alone the cost, of horses? It's nobody's business but mine. People ask me all the time, but I never give them a straight answer. Just because they ask doesn't mean it's any of their concern.


                                • #17
                                  It's even worse when you make the choice to go pro. I keep waiting for my father to send the men in white coats to save me from myself. Little does he know, I already work at the 'funny farm'.
                                  "Rock n' roll's not through, yeah, I'm sewing wings on this thing." --Destroyer


                                  • #18
                                    When I was at work one day years ago one person asked me about the expenses of owning a horse as they were thinking about getting one. After I explained about board, shoeing, vet, equipment, etc. etc. etc, she was amazed. Said it was like a mortgage on a summer home! To be honest, it was probably more if you considered showing!

                                    But like you say, Heinz 57, "I pay the bills". It's my money and I'll do with it as I please.

                                    BTW, I had a horse that when people asked what breed he was, I said a Heinz 57!

                                    I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people...I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.


                                    • #19
                                      Hubby made the comment "just think of all the money you would have every month if you didnt have horses?" in which I reminded him, it would be worthless if I didnt have them to make going to work every day worth it. I mean, honestly, what DO people do when they go home from work every day? If I didnt have my horses to care for, man Id be super bored! And no, I dont have kids.

                                      But hubby is very understanding and supportive and though he doesnt "get it" truly, he does "get" that theres no changing it.

                                      Member of the ILMD[FN]HP Clique, The Florida Clique, OMGiH I loff my mares, and the Bareback Riders clique!


                                      • #20
                                        I must be super lucky, I've really never had anyone question my devotion to my horses...In fact, I usually get some variation of the sentiment that they wish they had something they were as passionate about as I am about my horses/riding.

                                        Then again, they probably just know it's a little late to be questioning someone's level of devotion once they've gone so far as to run off to Kentucky and study horses in college. lol