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So Long ALLEN, we will miss your blinged lego asian legs!

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  • #61
    WAIT!!!!! Allen lost his legs when El Pollo Diablo (from the other thread about a month ago) challenged him to a cockfight (I'm sure there's a joke there somewhere--hehehe you said cock, Bevis) and he lost. The evil rooster and his chanting hoardes also pecked the little girl's eyes out when she rushed to Allen's rescue? Does that work?

    As for the supersonic farting, maybe that's what helps propel Allen over the jumps and on to victory??? And maybe there's a funny scene where the Olympic committee judges keep saying "what's that strange noise" as Allenis performing on course and they're so distracted by it they don't notice his blinged asian/leggo legs?

    Comment


    • #62
      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Pirateer:
      No, she's not blind.

      But she doesn't have eyes. She wears a neat thing like Jordi LaForge on startrek. She can see distances from 50,000 strides away. The USEF hasn't discovered it yet, but they take her Gold Medal away after the Olympics afterwards. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

      Ahh. Thank you. I was worried that she might be normal or something.
      http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

      Comment


      • #63
        I thought Allen lost his legs in a freak clipper accident.
        http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

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        • Original Poster

          #64
          hehe...no no, she can't be normal...its a MOVIE!
          DUH!

          as for the clippers, its a possibility...maybe he got an infection after snorting too many apple bute lines and he didn't feel the pain, as his legs rotted off? nah, too icky...

          you think we could get margie engle to play the blind girl? Or is she too good? Hows about the girl from wildfire?

          Comment


          • #65
            Allen gets a special sponsorship. Leggo my Eggos!!!!! Gives it a whole new meaning though...
            Somewhere in the world, Jason Miraz is Goodling himself and wondering why "the chronicle of the horse" is a top hit. CaitlinAndTheBay

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            • #66
              On the way home from the Olympics can the plain crash on a desert island so that the girl can rediscover Allen's love of racing? Maybe that can bring the story full circle!!!
              \"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-

              Comment


              • #67
                <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Candle:
                Allen gets a special sponsorship. Leggo my Eggos!!!!! Gives it a whole new meaning though... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                Yeah, like if they take his lego legs away, someone wants to buy him to make waffles. Mmm....Waffles.

                Comment


                • #68
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Sakura:
                  On the way home from the Olympics can the plain crash on a desert island so that the girl can rediscover Allen's love of racing? Maybe that can bring the story full circle!!! </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  Yes! That's it! And there on the deserted island with only his girl to keep the sand out of the legos (can't run if they're full of sand now, can he?), their relationship flourishes. She will have to dive down for seaweed to feed herself and Allen until she discovers her vision-goggles are not waterproof! She will lose all sight and have to feel her way around the island by sound and touch. Luckily she has Allen to stnd on when she needs to get a coconut or something to drink as there has been a drought and all of the creeks are dried up.
                  http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DeLapp512:
                    no alaska no!

                    he can't crash into them! you can't win the olympics by crashing into asians... </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                    But maybe you SHOULD be able to. Whadda ya think??

                    Sorry--I'm a little late to the thread.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by jetjocky:
                      But maybe you SHOULD be able to. Whadda ya think?? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>They would cane you for it in Singapore.
                      "I did know once, only I've sort of forgotten." - Winnie the Pooh

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        You're probably right.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          You know, there are some very SERIOUS problems with your original scenario, so that no one will suspend disbelief (like you have to do in the latter Star Wars movies). And then they won't pay the big bucks to see it. You must be consistent. For a nominal fee, in addition to psychic readings over the phone, I can also do continuity.

                          (1) Most critical - and right from the beginning - they give Allen 4 legs but the goat still has to hop along on 3? can you imagine what PITA, I mean PETA, people will say? The movie will be boycotted, and you will lose dollars. I suggest they the crazy vet tries it on the goat, it is a success, and then in a maniacal fit, goes whole hog and does all 4 of Allen's legs.

                          (2) It is imperative that Allen lose his legs in a heroic feat. Something to do with saving the blind girl from Asians, perhaps, which is why she is so insistent later that he take his place among Olympians. Otherwise, we have no motive for her ( we could say that the craziness is inherited, but that's stretching it). If you want to market this for SciFi, have Allen beamed aboard an alien spaceship where instead of the anal probe, they remove his legs (remember: anal probes are only for humans, see South Park/Eric Cartman for details).

                          (3) We may have to be careful with the Asian thing. Remember Aladdin and issues about negative stereotypes of Arabians? Remember? Casey Casem was furious that Aladdin performed no dressage feats in the movie, because, as we all know, Arabians can't do dressage.

                          Actually...why not make Allen an albino Arabian, and then the title could be "White Horses Can't Jump" - but that would be okay, since he would be doing dressage anyway?
                          www.specialhorses.org
                          a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            ROFLMAO

                            Of course, of course! And we all know that the only reason Allen got new legs is because he's white.
                            http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              this is the best thread i've ever read on coh. even better than haiku war.

                              slc

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                If the $7000 pony is not white, we could bleach him. People have done far worse to be in the movies. It's a small price to pay. And start him moving on stilts, so he gets "into the part."

                                It does not matter, of course, whether the $700 pony can jump, or do dressage, or race. That will be fixed in the movie. But it would be really neat if you could train him to land a triple lutz.
                                www.specialhorses.org
                                a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                Comment


                                • #76
                                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by DressageGeek "Ribbon Ho":
                                  If the $7000 pony is not white, we could bleach him. People have done far worse to be in the movies. It's a small price to pay. And start him moving on stilts, so he gets "into the part."

                                  It does not matter, of course, whether the $700 pony can jump, or do dressage, or race. That will be fixed in the movie. But it would be really neat if you could train him to land a triple lutz. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                  The $700 pony is a girl! Does this mean she had a sex change?
                                  http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

                                  Comment


                                  • #77
                                    Look, if the $700 pony wants to star in this movie, she'll have to do whatever it takes. Besides, Lassie was a girl who played a boy, which is apparently okay in media for dogs but not humans..um, does Rosie O'Donnell count?

                                    You know, you have to sacrifice for your art.
                                    www.specialhorses.org
                                    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                    Comment


                                    • #78
                                      No no no... special sex change effects are to be provided by a disgrunted former Disney animator.
                                      "I did know once, only I've sort of forgotten." - Winnie the Pooh

                                      Comment


                                      • #79
                                        I was thinking the sex change could be part of the movie. Add some drama, you know. Some emotional conflict as the $700 pony realizes that she is a gelding trapped in a mares body.
                                        http://burpclothsandsaddlepads.blogspot.com/

                                        Comment


                                        • #80
                                          Wild Oaks - this is a brilliant idea. Even better if the blind girl is androgynous...so we don't know until the end what sex she is, and therefore exactly what sex the $700 pony is interested in...oh wait, can we have inter species love like that? What if we don't show anything, just imply it, like in the Doris Day - Rock Hudson movies?
                                          www.specialhorses.org
                                          a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues

                                          Comment

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