How do you handle the "I'd like to go riding sometime" comments????

[Oxerbound]

I think part of the problem is that so many people have negative experiences, and there ARE risks involved. Plus, we all know how expensive horses are, and for many, I'd guess they're also a source of escape and relaxation (ah, the irony ). Sometimes I just don't want to share my barn-time with others, especially since I know that I won't get any productive ride-time if a newbie is there, needing my help.

That said, I've had friends who know I ride who have asked to come with me, and I've welcomed eagerly. However, I make a few things clear beforehand. I tell them that I would love to show them my horses and I have one that they can sit on, but since they haven't ridden before, it will be in a strictly lesson-type arrangement. (ie, less "galloping through fields", more walking in the indoor). When I moved and that horse wasn't available, I just told them I didn't have a horse they could ride, though occasionally I would strap my helmet onto said person's head and let them sit on my horse while I hand-walked him to cool out.

If we're in the middle of show-season, I also explain that my riding time is limited and I really need to work my horse, but they're welcome to watch me ride. Often, people are really excited to do this, and they learn a lot and ask good questions. Plus, they really seem to like helping groom and learning how to tack up the horse, and feeding him treats and whatnot. One of my friends felt really special when I asked her to hold the horse's reins while I went to grab my helmet

Anyway, I think "repetitive askers" really do want to learn about horses, and are often more accomodating that we think. Two of my friends became repeated barn groupies and accompanied me often, whether or not they got to ride, and one even went on to taking consistent lessons and bought a horse of her own later.

Really, I think it's easier for people to enter such unfamiliar territory as riding by going with someone familiar, rather than just making a random phone call. And though I admit that if someone I'm introduced to says "Oh, you ride? I've always wanted to! You should let me come ride your horse," I'll just nod, smile, and make an excuse to leave, I will generally make a big effort to help those close or semi-close to me get involved with horses.

"You people have held me back long enough! I'm going to join a clown college."

Prayers for Silver

[ExRacer]

I explain that my horse is a nut and I don't let anyone else take the risk of riding her I explain that I am liable if anything were to happen, so I don't take the risk. however, I will usually offer to take them out to the barn for a visit, but only at odd hours when the barn isn't hectic.

~Shanon~
"Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do--do it and let it speak for itself." --Martin Vanbee

[DutchOwner]

I generally do what everyone else has mentioned, i.e., not suitable, competition horses, particular on who rides them, etc. etc...but I add that I'm always looking for people to come out and help and if they'd just like to spend some time with the horses grooming and such that would be fine...it's a great way to solicit help and determine people's competence at the same time, while allowing people an outlet for their love of horses.

"The 21 yr old Equestrienne with 22 yrs of experience who gets stoned and longes young warmbloods and then jumps them with no helmet."

Official mucker, picker, groomer, treat distributor, scratcher, wrapper, and servant to Sly, Aussie, Sesica, and Bristol.

Proud Member of the Elite Four Member Alaska Clique!!

[Scootie]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nikkibaby27:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deltawave:
Why do so many of you all go out of your way to discourage people from even taking an interest in horses? I cannot understand this!!

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Because they are snobs who do not want to share!

I cannot believe some of you! It's fine if you have a green, or a horse that only experienced people can ride, but if you have an quiet horse, give you co-workers, friends, etc a chance! I have people ask me all the time if they could ride my horse. If they really want to they come out.

I get my horse, show them how to groom, tack up etc.. Then I get on and show them how to warm up a horse. Then they get on. I tell you, some people who knock horses fall in love when they get to ride. It's a whole new experience that for them and it makes me happy when they are smiling on my horse! When they get use to riding and developed proper balance and skills I take them out on the trail.

If somebody want to ride with me, I give them a chance. They really enjoy the barn and the horses. Some even start to take lessons and down the rode buy a horse when they are experiences enough!

That is how I got my start. My neighbor would take me trail riding all the time because I couldn't have a horse. It also teaches responsibility and it's great exercise!

It's also a great way to bond with people.

http://www.geocities.com/area51/crat...artofGold.html

http://www.dmtc.com/dmtc98/Pedigree/

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Oh come on, It's not about snobbery at all, just that horse owners generally want to feel OK about their decision to allow or not allow other people to ride THEIR horse.

Many people's horses represent a large investment not only financially but of time, energy and personal comittment. Many people who love their horses may not feel it is in the horse's best interest to let inexperienced people get on them. There are some other very responsible horse owners of kind, suitable horses, who have no problem with this, but usually they have a system or "technique" in place to protect the horse and their friend.

Lots of posters have been willing to recommend horsey opportunities to friends and relatives including trail barns or beginner instructors, especially if they are not comfortable allowing their own horse to be used this way.

The bottom line it that as in other areas of life it HAS to be OK to say NO. To anyone at any time for any reason.

Also, why do you assume NO means a blanket NO to riding horses--I don't think anyone on here has meant that, usually it is more of NO you can not ride MY horse. Personally, I have no problem with locating a trail barn and taking someone there to get a horsey fix (I would not recommend a trail barn to someone else that I would not patronize myself). I also have one family member who I will not do this with because she has proven herself to be at an unusual level of risk on a horse. And I have a sister who I will not do this with because, frankly I can't stand her attitude and couldn't put up with it for that long. Both of these people certainly have the right to find these opportunities on their own (they both have) and do what they want. In the case of my sister, I would not mind suggesting a place to ride if she asked because she's done this before, she's not scared of horses, and I think she would be fine. The other person I would not recommend ANY riding unless she is seeking instruction and I have even offered to help her with that.

So just because someone is not share their PERSONAL horse with others does not in any way indicate they are trying to simply prevent these folks from getting on a horse. Most horse people in fact are more than happy to share their pleasure with others, but want to do it in a way that is appropriate for them, their horses, the person wanting to ride and all the extenuating circumstances.

So don't go getting your britches in a wad just because I told you you can't ride my horse.

Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique

[BelladonnaLily]

When they say "I'd like to go riding sometime", I guess the best answer would be "Great! Where?"

Seriously, honesty is probably best. Such as, "I don't have an appropriate horse for a "recreational" rider." Or "I board at a facility that will not allow me to bring guests to ride." Or even "Horses can be dangerous to anyone, especially someone inexperienced. I do not feel qualified to supervise you and keep you safe. I suggest riding lessons at (fill in the blank)."

[deltawave]

No, I wasn't saying it's wrong to try and dissuade someone who's never ridden from wanting to try out your just-broke greenie, but some of the attitudes (using the "you don't really understand anything" voice, or "my horse is high strung"--does anybody really say that?--or "I'm worried about lawsuits" or lying to people...) are kind of sad. We spend so much time kvetching how horse sports are unpopular and people have so many misconceptions...what a paradox!

I daresay an honest answer (like belladonna mentioned) would go a lot farther and give a better impression than a big blow-off, which I'll bet the average person can discern in a heartbeat.

I hate to think where I'd be if the person whose pony I begged to sit on--just once--had coldly dismissed me as a "horse crazy kid with no experience". (which was true) I'd probably be getting more work done, but it was the start of my riding life and I'm forever grateful to that person!

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"If you think your hairstyle is more important than your brain, you're probably right." Wear a helmet!
Pictures!
Helmet Nazi, Bah Humbug, Mares Rule, Breed Your Own and Michigan cliques!

[Scootie]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deltawave:
No, I wasn't saying it's wrong to try and dissuade someone who's never ridden from wanting to try out your just-broke greenie, but some of the attitudes (using the "you don't really understand anything" voice, or "my horse is high strung"--does anybody really say that?--or "I'm worried about lawsuits" or lying to people...) are kind of sad. We spend so much time kvetching how horse sports are unpopular and people have so many misconceptions...what a paradox!

I daresay an honest answer (like belladonna mentioned) would go a lot farther and give a better impression than a big blow-off, which I'll bet the average person can discern in a heartbeat.

I hate to think where I'd be if the person whose pony I begged to sit on--just once--had coldly dismissed me as a "horse crazy kid with no experience". (which was true) I'd probably be getting more work done, but it was the start of my riding life and I'm forever grateful to that person!

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_"If you think your hairstyle is more important than your brain, you're probably right."_ _ Wear a helmet!_
http://www.deltawave.homestead.com/photos2.html
Helmet Nazi, Bah Humbug, Mares Rule, Breed Your Own and Michigan cliques!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No I was only saying that the to not allow someone else to ride a horse is always valid, whether it is a horse that is not suitable, or whether someone does not want to share the horse. If I wasn't limited by my lease agreement to only one rider, I still wouldn't let just anybody do that. And this is a horse that used to be used in beginner lessons, he is about as lazy as they make them. The lazy, stubborn old thing has also taught me more about riding than any instructor ever could, so maybe I feel obligated to not subject him to unnecessary discomfort. Hey, he totes my sorry ass all over the place and doesn't complain too much, so why should I ask for more? And I think a lot of people have that kind of relationship with their horse, especially if it is the only one they own or have the use of.

This is a very personal decision that only the owner of the horse should have to make and no one should feel guilty if they say "no" for any reason. Also suggesting alternatives such as affordable lessons, trail rides, etc. are anything but a brush off, it is actually a very nice way to help someone get started who might not be aware of these resources.

Concerns about insurance coverage, liability, etc. are not a lie--unfortunately this is a reality for ANY horse owner, but also for stable owners and other parties who could be adversely affected. For a lot of people, this is a more comfortable explanation than going into some of the other reasons, which would probably be more potentially unpleasant.

Then there are some people who are too persistent, who won't take no for an answer or listen to reason. This is really not socially acceptable behavior on their part, why should someone have to be subjected to this simply because they have a horse, even if said horse would be perfectly OK? A more stern response, including "there are things you JUST DON'T KNOW" responses, is sometimes necessary to put an end to this cycle.

I have also been on the other side of the picture, have asked people if I could ride their horse (a long time ago), sometimes they said yes, sometimes they said no. The probability of anyone really getting me started riding as a child was pretty much negated anyway by a parent who was extremely hostile to the idea. I appreciated the "yes"s but could also emphasised with the "no"s, especially after having been forced to share my things with younger siblings and getting too many back broken.

I just don't like the idea that if you own a horse who can be safely ridden by just anybody, you have any obligation whatsoever to allow it to happen. Unless you want to. But if you don't want to you shouldn't have to.

Founder and president of the No-Legged Rider Clique

[PortraitPainter]

I had a non-horsey friend come visit me when I was a barn manager last summer. He wasn't pushy or anything, but was expecting a trail ride. I put him on the laziest horse at the barn, strapped him up in the safety gear in the sweltering heat and made him walk and try to steer in a small paddock. After about 15 minutes of rubbernecking around the paddock (with me snarking at him to keep his chest open and heels down, knees relaxed, steer dammit!), friend decided it wasn't as fun as he thought, and there were going to be no long glorious and harmonious tampon-commercial-type gallops through verdant fields, and that riding really IS alot of work (plus after seeing me fall off during interval training), he decided that he didn't want to go on a trail ride afterall.

The thing is, unless the wannabe is truly an ass, once they get on and try to coordinate everything there is to coordinate about riding, AND realize that, yes, horsies DO have a mind of their own and WILL veer towards the gate and it IS a little scary to lose so much control of your direction, people are pretty understanding about a horse-owner's reluctance to let 'em hop on and hi-ho silver away.

So, I say, invite them out and let them try. Then make them try to post the trot.

-N

www.naominickerson.com
specializing in equine and canine portraiture and other fine art
*hold onto your breath, hold onto your heart, hold onto your hope*

[wimbsy]

I tell them he's lame!

(Never been, knock on wood!)


Braid Yourself & Drafty X Cliques

[Valentina_32926]

If they're of the right size I can put them on my very quiet 14.2 hand mare. But since I don't have a ring (large open pastures) they go on a lead or lunge line. When they want to ride sans my restraint I tell them for liability purposes they need a helmet (and can purchase one locally for about $90.00), boots or shoes with a heel and I need a ring. And so no - I can't "let them go free". It was really neat though to meet a new co-worker who stated she was rusty but rode while growing up then find out rusty equated to could ride in beautiful form but muscles were sore by the next day. Turns out she learned from a child until she was an adult undder Carl Bessett - a BNT for hunter/jumpers. At the end of the trail ride that day (she started by riding in my pasture, then we went on a trail ride) she even jumped my (then) green (in jumping) mare over a small jump (2 foot) with beautiful form, correcting the mare before allowing her to jump the fence!

But she is the exception, although I've been lucky to find a few people this way who later became a close horsey friend.

Sandy in Fla.

[Liretta]

I would love to be able to say my mare is an ambassador for the Arabian breed and that she will allow anyone to ride her, but it just isn't the case, so I cannot. If she was as sweet as she looks, safe and gentle, you can bet I would allow her to be ridden by others. I have to discourage it for liability reasons and because I have enough emotional problems with this mare and I don't need to make her more untrusting of me.
Some day I hope to have a sane, quiet horse that my daughter's friends can take for a hack when they come to visit.

[DH]

I suggest a trail riding barn down the road which we could all go to, then we could drop in on my girl and feed her some carrots.

I explain that they can't ride my horse because I like them too much to fetch them down from the rafters or scrape them off the wall

~Mighty TB Clique~
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." ~ Ellen Parr

[beasley]

this is just my personal experience of course, but i get really frustrated when people you have just met tell you they know how to ride and have ridden several times. sometimes they even know what to call the bridle, saddle, etc. and can talk a decent talk. i have a really hard time arguing that my horse is too difficult or in training because they try to convince me they can handle it. in an effort not to be a total b*tch, i concede to take them to the farm and let them ride a dead broker QH. when they walk out to the field holding the halter by the cheek piece and try to wrap it around the poor horses ear...i know i am in trouble. what do you do when people just flat out lie, and won't take no for an answer? it is not that i don't want them to ride, but they are putting my, my horse, my farm not to mention themselves in a very dangerous position by misrepresenting their riding ability.

[beasley]

this is just my personal experience of course, but i get really frustrated when people you have just met tell you they know how to ride and have ridden several times. sometimes they even know what to call the bridle, saddle, etc. and can talk a decent talk. i have a really hard time arguing that my horse is too difficult or in training because they try to convince me they can handle it. in an effort not to be a total b*tch, i concede to take them to the farm and let them ride a dead broker QH. when they walk out to the field holding the halter by the cheek piece and try to wrap it around the poor horses ear...i know i am in trouble. what do you do when people just flat out lie, and won't take no for an answer? it is not that i don't want them to ride, but they are putting my, my horse, my farm not to mention themselves in a very dangerous position by misrepresenting their riding ability.

[Phaxxton]

I recommend a good hack stable or lesson barn. I then explain that all horses are not made equal, etc., etc. and that it's safest to go that route for beginners or inexperienced riders. I also don't let anyone ride my horse, so that solves that. I don't feel bad saying "no" when people ask to ride him. He's not beginner safe and I don't want anyone getting hurt.

[Pixie Dust]

The only person who has ever pressed the issue of riding my green TB was a total butt-wipe. I didn't want him in my house, let alone near my animals. It had nothing to do with snobbery. I have taken plenty of friends out to ride in the past, and have given "pony rides" on Hektor as well.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. Oscar Wilde

[Beethoven]

I am always like yeah uh huh maybe sometime beacause right now (make up a reason). I mean it is one thing if the person rides horses, but if they have never ridden before then its def no thanks you.

~Jenna & Beethoven~
http://community.webshots.com/user/jlm179

[Nikki^]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deltawave:
No, I wasn't saying it's wrong to try and dissuade someone who's never ridden from wanting to try out your just-broke greenie, but some of the attitudes (using the "you don't really understand anything" voice, or "my horse is high strung"--does anybody really say that?--or "I'm worried about lawsuits" or lying to people...) are kind of sad. We spend so much time kvetching how horse sports are unpopular and people have so many misconceptions...what a paradox!

I daresay an honest answer (like belladonna mentioned) would go a lot farther and give a better impression than a big blow-off, which I'll bet the average person can discern in a heartbeat.

I hate to think where I'd be if the person whose pony I begged to sit on--just once--had coldly dismissed me as a "horse crazy kid with no experience". (which was true) I'd probably be getting more work done, but it was the start of my riding life and I'm forever grateful to that person!

!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree with you 100%. Come on people! Give them a chance for goodness sake!

Kioko

Look up your TB's bloodlines

[ZappBranagan]

"Well before we go any further, you should know that these are OTTBs still working as competitive sport horses. Also, do you have a disability policy that would provide coverage? Last summer, nearly half of the riders in our barn were in casts (not a lie) and they're all seasoned competitors. I can ask around to see if anyone has a crush vest in your size..." It's good to keep some big pictures up of eventing competitors in your office/cube, then you can always gesture at it: "this is what sport horses think of as fun, so imagine what can happen if they get scared..... Still, you should come out and meet them sometime and see if you want to get back into the sport."

I'd love to bring them to the barn on a windy night when they're being brought in for feeding. Stand them right at the door and let them see the TB's come galloping up the aisle right at them. Something about 1200 lbs of TB muscle coming straight at you and not even attempting to put on the brakes until the last possible second will pretty much convince even the most hardiest of blowhards that maybe thay are not masters of the universe.

[Holly Jeanne]

I don't think not allowing people who ask to ride your horse is necessarily discouraging them from an interest in horses. I always tell them than I'd be happy to have them out to groom and to help me with the in hand work. I tell them I'd love for them to brush the 8 month old (with supervision) so she can get used to lots of people. As yet, no one has wanted to do that, just ride. That, to me, doesn't spell an interest in horses. As a kid, I would have jumped at the chance even to groom. As I've had experienced riders who had a hard time riding my mare (ie sister who showed and won in equitation), I'm not willing to risk the persons health or my mares. The other mare is pregnant and the baby is 8 months. I don't think most of us would discourage a true interest but there is a difference between someone who is really interested in horses and someone who wants a ride without paying for a commercial trail ride.