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Introducing OLIVER!!!

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  • Original Poster

    Tonight was so sad though, not because of Oliver but because Willem seems to be just slipping further and further away. I had said to my dad "But I miss him so much," and my dad said "Now Willem is a sweet memory." I don't want a memory. I want him to come back. I don't want this horse, I want Willem, and he is never ever going to come back, and most of the time I can handle it, but sometimes it is just so very, very difficult.

    And I just cried and cried and cried. I cried with Luana, she knows how I feel, having put down first her beloved Dixie, and then last year she put down her dear Mac. And now she has Bacchus, the only one left from her trio. I felt like such a baby, I just kept crying "I don't want Oliver, I want Willem."

    And then I took a deep breath and did a big Cowgirl Up and went over to apologize to Oliver for having said it, just in case he could have heard. And gave him a big kiss. He is a dear sweet loving horse, I am so very, very fortunate to have him in my life. He has figured out that I am the "carrot lady" and I think he is starting to figure out that I am his new mom. And bless his heart, what a good boy he is, all new people and surroundings and horses and hay and everything, and he just goes around with a big smile. I could not have been more fortunate than to have found him. And very soon I will love him, because there is no way not to.

    He is like a little boy who gets to go to the Tonka Trucks section in Toys R Us for the first time and can't believe all the wonderful little trucks. Life for Oliver is a happy adventure, and I am blessed to be able to share it with him. So though it was sad today, for a while at least, I cannot wait to go and see him again tomorrow.

    Comment


    • Okay now you even got me teared up.

      "Now Willem is a sweet memory." I'm sure your Dad didn't mean to upset you but that would have busted my heart in half too. (((HUGS)))

      Chin up, you gave Willem a very happy life. While it is sad he isn't in the flesh with you anymore I don't believe the ones we love ever truely leave us. xo

      The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
      -- Brian Pickrell

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      • Congratulations!! He is quite handsome, and one lucky boy

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        http://community.webshots.com/user/madisonav

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        • I went through this last summer.
          I know how hard it is to bring a new partner into your life after losing someone you've loved for a long time. There are times that you almost resent the new because he's not the one that's gone. Other times you feel guilty that you are letting go too fast. The good news is that Oliver sounds like a wonderful personality and he will help you to work through the transition. Focus on the loff - past and present. You have a lot of us rooting for you.

          Comment


          • Congratulations! I am sure Willem is looking down from his great pasture in the sky thinking "Oliver - she's the best mom you could ever have - she will love you with all her heart and soul - you have nothing to worry about." I know Willem can rest happily knowing his mom is happy too.

            Enjoy Oliver and we will be looking forward to your new adventure!

            Comment


            • Dear Coreene:

              From a poem (In Blackwater Woods) by Mary Oliver. I think maybe you need this now.

              To live in this world
              you must be able
              to do three things:
              to love what is mortal;
              to hold it
              against your bones knowing
              your own life depends upon it;
              and, when the time comes to let it go,
              to let it go.

              Willem is not slipping farther away from you; you are reaching the point of the time of letting go. You will find that as you go through this part of the process of grief that he will still be a big part of you but that much of the pain will be gone (this is the letting go part.) I went through this process when I lost my beloved Chrissy and I remember the feeling you describe of having her slip away. This poem helped me so much (although it did make me cry a lot and it still gives me a lump in my throat...)

              Hold on. You are in everyone's thoughts around here.

              Sue L
              "Horsemanship is not merely a matter of bodily skills, but is based on scholarship and, therefore, is a matter of the mind and intellect." Charles de Kunffy

              http://www.equiimages.com

              Comment


              • Willem was such a large presence to all of us, I can't imagine him genuinely slipping away. Perhaps it is the pain that beginning to slip away, and it's the absence of the pain that you're beginning to feel, that feels unsettling to you. But his spirit will always be in your heart, which grows larger to make a new place for Oliver.

                Coreene, you've been through a terribly stressful couple of months. Bad stressful, and then good stressful in getting Oliver. It's not at all unreasonable for your fatigued mind to want things to be "normal" again, in the give-me-a-break sense. This new and different stuff is too much work! This is normal, and, this, too, shall pass.

                I still admire your ability to let yourself feel these things, cry when you need to, and then continue to move onward. You are a special person, and an inspiration to us all (and that's hard work, too !)

                ___________
                He's not really a pony, and I'm really not "pony aged" either.
                "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

                Spay and neuter. Please.

                Comment

                • Original Poster

                  You guys are the best. I can't tell you how much easier it makes things when you know you're not the only one to feel this way.

                  Sue, that poem is beautiful, I will print it out and keep it. It is so very true.

                  On a much happier note. I put Oliver's pedigree into the Del Mar All Breeds database more completely (he is Loewenherz, American WB 1997). And it's like reading a fairytale book of all the horses we read about growing up, the CW Anderson books and all the stuff about the great English racehorses, King of the Wind and all the wonderful Quarter Horses. I'm toodling through this and thinking "King! OMGiH! The Tetrarch! I remember the photos from when I was little!" Not to mention all the Holsteiner stuff.

                  But I think the biggest warm and fuzzy of all is that I can say "I have a Man O'War." Wildly diluted, and many, many generations back, it is his great-great-great-great-great grandpa through War Admiral and Father John, but I'll be buggered if it didn't take me back to being five years old, my first trip to a public library, when I discovered "Billy and Blaze" and "Twenty Gallant Horses" and was well and truly in love with Man O'War. I know I touched on this briefly before, but I still get a big fuzzy about it.

                  Comment


                  • My dear, dear Coreene! We now have horses that are related, even if very distantly, because my beloved Promise is also a Man o' War through War Admiral.

                    So, from one cousin to another, Miss Promise says "Welcome!"

                    ---------------------------
                    "This it be die most importante thing in die world, that someone they loff us."
                    Willem
                    If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.
                    Desmond Tutu

                    Comment


                    • Ah ha - that's where Oliver got his size and color from - War Admiral! Coreene, I am so happy for the both of you to have one another.

                      I am thinking Willem heartily approves of this match. I know the BB does. More pics please!!

                      Comment


                      • Hi Coreen,
                        I am fairly new here. I just read all of Willem's posts and there were times I laughed out loud. He sounds like one in a million, and I am so sorry for your loss.
                        Oliver-love the name!- is such a handsome boy. I look forward to learning more about his personality.

                        Comment


                        • Mary Oliver's poems are beautiful - I highly recommend them.

                          In Blackwater Woods got me through Chrissy's untimely death and Spike my good dog's death. One day, I took it down from my cubicle walls because I had memorized it and it had woven its words into the the everyday fabric of my life.

                          Coreene, you have already done the first two things you have to do to live in this world and you are learning to do the third. I think the third thing is the hardest thing to do for those who are left behind. You will be able to do the third but I can tell you from experience that that will take time because we love our equine friends so much.

                          Give Oliver a pat on from me and his other friends on COTH tonight and tell him he has big shoes to fill :-) Then give him a carrot from The Carrot Lady and let him find his voice. That way Willem's voice will never be stilled.

                          Sue L
                          "Horsemanship is not merely a matter of bodily skills, but is based on scholarship and, therefore, is a matter of the mind and intellect." Charles de Kunffy

                          http://www.equiimages.com

                          Comment


                          • Coreene~ I am THRILLED for you-he is STUNNING.

                            Just remember my email---Milo is a REAL 1/4 horse as well!

                            1/4 Hanoverian
                            1/4 TB
                            1/4 AQHA
                            1/4 APHA

                            That is the BEST!

                            I know there are tough emotions and second guessing but don't stay in that place too long. You have enough love to share with Willem and your new boy---don't you dare question your decision.

                            "I don't mind where people make 'whoopie', so long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses. --Mrs. Patrick Campbell (quote modified for young eyes)

                            Comment

                            • Original Poster

                              Gotta love that QH and Paint. Mama is reg APHA, her mom is AQHA but is either 3/4 or 7/TB actually, I can never figure out the math. Mama's dad is also Paint (Saint Siemon, by Cherokee Siemon, that pops back to Leo). I know squat about all the QH and Paint stuff as I have said before, but am VERY happy it is there. That way I got the socks and I do so love the QH personality. I guess this makes him 1/2 Holsteiner and 1/2 Paint officially.

                              Or, like Willem would have said "He be von der Gepainted Persuasione."

                              Comment


                              • Ah, then if he's got Paint in him, then he's at least an honorary relation to the Spotted One. I think it was Jimmy Wofford who said (at least, that's what I'm pulling up from my brain), that the thing about Paints, is that they are either really bad, with crappy Paint attitudes, or they are really good, with crappy Paint attitudes. But since you have half a one, then he must be the really good kind, with the Holsteiner attitude!

                                On a sweet/sad note, a wise person once told me that if you hide your heart away, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness, it will change: it will not break, but will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. Willem is with you, with us, and is alive every time one of us says that we "loff" something, everytime we think "Mein Gott in Himmel" or mention "karrotten." We live forever in the memories of others.

                                Comment


                                • Ahhh Coreene, don't cry Your heart is just stretching to accomodate your new guy. You are bound to feel it. This it be right.
                                  See those flying monkeys? They work for me.

                                  Comment


                                  • Bloody hell, I'm crying again.

                                    Coreene, you are a wonderful mom and don't you DARE get upset with yourself if you sometimes feel resentful that Oliver isn't Willem. I know you feel Willem's slipping farther from you, and you probably feel disloyal to him every time you catch yourself enjoying Oliver, and sometimes it's going to piss you off when Oliver's being adorable, just because he isn't Willem and you miss him.

                                    Grieving is awful but necessary and natural. Nothing we say here can change the process, only maybe ease it a little because you know so many people are thinking of you and hoping good things for you. When you get really down, just remind yourself of what you have already convinced me--Willem picked Oliver for you.

                                    And if you, as I have done, are sometimes short with Oliver because you miss Willem, don't beat yourself up over it. He's surely falling in loff with you already, and their hearts are bigger than ours. He will loff you, and forgive you, and Willem is smiling down all the while (except when he is munching all the heavenly karotten he can find).

                                    Comment


                                    • Ohhhhhhhh...Oliver is related to Miss Liz too!! She also goes back to Man 'o war through War Admiral!!!!!

                                      Miss Liz sounds out a hugh hello to her new found cousin Oliver!!!

                                      "Member of the Western clique"

                                      All gave some...And some gave all...God bless the USA
                                      "You are under arrest for operating your mouth under the influence of
                                      ignorance!" Officer Beck

                                      Comment


                                      • Well if he goes back to Leo, then somewhere in the genetic road map he is related to my Spenser (QH) too ! He is much smaller than your Oliver but is quite wonderful......you & Oliver are now officially part of our family!

                                        Just think of how much fun we could have if we had a COTH BB Horse Family reunion for everyone whose horse is somehow related . (Not to mention how many karroten we would need!)
                                        Old age is no place for sissies.
                                        Bette Davis

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                                        • Original Poster

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