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Sex abuse in the Horse World

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  • starlite hasn't ever posted anything offensive that I've seen. I don't see what the big deal is.

    June 10th, 2003. D(idi)-Day.....Le Retour Part II
    Centre Equestre de la Houssaye
    See our flyer to learn more!
    ---WHX---

    Comment


    • yes, I admit it, but I didn't create this name to troll or anything, honestly. I still read COTH frequently (is this a crime?) and every once in awhile I felt like answering some topic. I also wanted to remain somewhat anonymous. if you as a moderator would rather I not do this, just tell me and I will stop.

      Comment


      • I think it's only fair now that enema's identity is revealed too.

        June 10th, 2003. D(idi)-Day.....Le Retour Part II
        Centre Equestre de la Houssaye
        See our flyer to learn more!
        ---WHX---

        Comment


        • I agree! especially since SoEasy knows who s/he is.

          Comment


          • NOPE ... I know, and the person has not been banned by the Administrator.

            When someone is banned, it doesn't mean only that identity is banned, it means the person is banned.

            Meanwhile, this has nothing at all to do with the topic of this thread, so let's all go back to talking about sex.
            Mal:This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then .... explode

            Comment


            • so are you telling me to stop posting? even though I haven't done anything wrong? just trying to be clear.

              Comment


              • I am telling you that YOU were banned, not ~Emma~ was banned but another name was ok. I am telling you now that the 'dog with a bone / won't let go of something' attitude is part of WHY.

                I am also telling you that it is off topic on this thread to discuss this further.

                The topic of the thread is sex abuse. It is important. Let's go back to it.
                Mal:This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then .... explode

                Comment


                • Ooooooooooh SaddleFitter! Thank you!! That double standard has always bugged me. And no one has never explained it well. "Boys will be boys" just doesn't wash; after all, some sex partner was involved.

                  I think the same moral imperative applies. If you're going to think it's wrong for minor girls and adult men, then you have to think it's also wrong for minor boys and older women ... or for same-sex relationships involving an adult and a minor. And to be bluntly honest, I do think it's a little hypocritical to put all the onus on young women and not hold young men to the same standard.

                  ***Dear Sam: All I really want for Mother's Day is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***
                  Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

                  Comment


                  • I have a request to ask of stb78lw and RugBug: May I join the group of people that are virgins? Please? I feel like an idoit right now.

                    Hi, my name is Kelly and I am 20 years old. I am also a virgin.(Boy, do I feel like an old person)! Yes, I realize that some people will judge me because of that and other people will thank me for it. I am a virgin because I wasn't ready to have sex when I was younger and I am still not convinced I am even ready now. I also haven't found the right partner yet.

                    I had my first period when I was 10 years old. Or, 10 years and two months old, if you want to be excat. I don't know why I was so early, but I was. I wasn't ready for it. I didn't know what was happening and I was scared. In fact, I am pretty convinced that I was ashamed of the fact that I didn't look like the other girls in my class and as a result, I hid. I didn't talk to anybody except the teachers and I didn't really enjoy my younger years. I am saying all of this because I see people on this thread saying that young girls shouldn't be so sexy or flirting or having sex with someone twice their age.
                    Has anyone ever thought that the girls that are now developing so early are scared or confused or wanting someone to say that they are OK? I believe when someone is that young, they really don't know what they want. When someone gives them attention, it's a cool thing because some of them don't think that anybody was paying attention to them before. Maybe becuase their parents were/are working long hours at work and are never home or that they are the middle or youngest child and don't have the parent's undefided attention when they get home.

                    There are a varity of reasons why girls have sex so young. But, it's no use fighting over the reason, when we don't even know the person that we are fighting over. Have we even asked some of the girls the reasons that they do what they do? Instead of fighting, let's start listening. Instead of saying that every girl who has sex at a young age is a bad person, let's start embracing them. Maybe all they need is someone to care about who they are, as a girl and as a hunman being. I think that everyone wants to feel loved and they will go searching until they find it. Every person has their own stories, their own experiences, their own lives. So, let's reach out and hug that person. Let them know that they are an important part of the world and they are cherished because of that.

                    Regarding sex abuse in the horse world. It happens. It also happens at schools, chruchs, homes and else where. I believe that we need to start empowering young people, particularly girls, to take a stand against this problem. To tell people that it's OK to say what happened to you and how you feel/felt about it. People need to not feel so ashamed or scared to say what happened to them for fear of what other people might say. People need to be told that they are OK and that their family and/or friends will still love them, regardless of what happens.

                    OK, I am off my soapbox and running to hide under the table...(Duck)

                    Comment


                    • There isn't a double standard, there's a single standard...

                      Boys aren't sexually abused to the degree that girls are. Girls dominate horse sports at a young age and are subject to greater pressures than boys. Boys aren't as sexualized in our western culture. Male sexuality isn't as regarded as a marketable commodity; and no boy has yet to register an opinion, an anecdote, or shared an experience on this thread - that I know of.

                      Part of the assertion would seem to be that boys set the standard of 'acceptable behaviour' - I'd argue that's part of the problem. Boys and men aren't, or shouldn't be, the standard - and I think we'd be hard-pressed to find ANYONE on this thread who'd condone manipulative, exploitative boys. Just as we'd question a manipulative or exploitative girl.

                      Yes, doubtlessly, boys are also sexually abused and subject to exploitation. And, yes, I'd maim and murder anyone who'd harm my boys - as I would anyone who'd threaten my daughter. But the reality is that boys aren't subject to the same microscopic objectification of their body parts that girls are - which is, I think, part of the root of this proverbial problem.

                      When women in 2003 continue to make less than 70 cents to the man's dollar, when men continue to dominate the corporate boardroom and political arena, as a mother of two boys, I worry less about their future than I do my daughter's - which, yes, does sicken me.

                      Comment


                      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Alan Greenspan:
                        And everyone knows how I feel about irrationality. And exuberance. And Hillarykins.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                        And I about you, Alan darling.

                        You make me feel like a teenager again.

                        Comment


                        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Heidi:
                          _There isn't a double standard, there's a single standard..._

                          Boys aren't sexually abused to the degree that girls are. Girls dominate horse sports at a young age and are subject to greater pressures than boys. Boys aren't as sexualized in our western culture. Male sexuality isn't as regarded as a marketable commodity; and no boy has yet to register an opinion, an anecdote, or shared an experience on this thread - that I know of.

                          Part of the assertion would seem to be that boys set the standard of 'acceptable behaviour' - I'd argue that's part of the problem. Boys and men aren't, or shouldn't be, the standard - and I think we'd be hard-pressed to find ANYONE on this thread who'd condone manipulative, exploitative boys. Just as we'd question a manipulative or exploitative girl.

                          Yes, doubtlessly, boys are also sexually abused and subject to exploitation. And, yes, I'd maim and murder anyone who'd harm my boys - as I would anyone who'd threaten my daughter. But the reality is that boys aren't subject to the same microscopic objectification of their body parts that girls are - which is, I think, part of the root of this proverbial problem.

                          When women in 2003 continue to make less than 70 cents to the man's dollar, when men continue to dominate the corporate boardroom and political arena, as a mother of two boys, I worry less about their future than I do my daughter's - which, yes, does sicken me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                          and THAT attitude is why cases with boys aren't as talked about in the media...

                          ---
                          Never apologize never explain...
                          I haven't and I don't...
                          --Marianne Faithfull
                          -----

                          Comment


                          • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hillary Clinton:
                            <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Alan Greenspan:
                            And everyone knows how I feel about irrationality. And exuberance. And Hillarykins.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            And I about you, Alan darling.

                            You make me feel like a teenager again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                            Sloppy Sarah Stevens says that Hillary Clinton turns her on..

                            ---
                            Never apologize never explain...
                            I haven't and I don't...
                            --Marianne Faithfull
                            -----

                            Comment


                            • I understand your point and agree, Heidi, re the exploitation issue. My comments, though, were more musings on the fact that the young woman/girls who've stated on this thread that they've had sex have garnered a few slings and arrows.

                              I don't see the same concern/condemnation/slinging of arrows at their partners. It just seems to me that two people were involved, and if "we" want to hold one of them accountable, we should hold both of them accountable.

                              Do I think that some (perhaps many, but not all) underage girls have sex for the wrong reason? Yes. Do I think that some (perhaps many) get pressured into it or have it because they think that it's the only way to be popular or keep a boyfriend? Yes. Do I think that parents and society play a great role in creating an atmosphere tolerant of objectifying young girls? Absolutely.

                              Look at that talent search show for kids that's on TV; how many of those little girls are tarted up like hookers multiple times their age? They sing songs about subjects they can't possibly (I hope) know anything about. Look at the "beauty contests" for little girls; is it any wonder they grow up thinking that winning a wet T-shirt contest somehow adds to their self worth? Look at (what I consider) those God-awful, obnoxious "Girls Gone Wild" videotapes advertised all over cable; how many mothers' sons have bought them and are oogling breasts and thinking that that's the sum total of a woman's worth?

                              I'm rambling, I know. But I truly believe that those who can't abide girls having sex cannot then turn around and condone boys having it.

                              ***Dear Sam: All I really want for Mother's Day is FLYING LEAD CHANGES!!***
                              Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

                              Comment


                              • Wow, 5 pages in one day. Guess we needed another "wandering on/off topic" thread since the War Thread closed.

                                It's been a good read.

                                ~AJ~
                                I've been there...that's why I'm here.
                                “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
                                ? Albert Einstein

                                ~AJ~

                                Comment


                                • Doubtlessly, Beeze, I think it terribly unfair and sad that girls who are sexually active are demeaned as 'sluts' while boys are forgiven with that old fall-back, 'well, boys will be boys'. I also think it's that same attitude which nurtures and enables a society/culture which objectifies girls as a series of body parts and absolves boys from their equal share of responsibility.

                                  I don't think anyone on this thread would applaud a 14 year old boy who was sexually active, and they'd be equally outraged if a young boy was sexually abused. And personally speaking, I'd be as outraged if my boys were having indiscriminate sex at 14 as I would be with my daughter.

                                  Comment


                                  • Do you really think they are forgiven or is it just a different perspective in that males are supposed to demonstrate their capability.

                                    The simple fact is girls and boys are not the same, there are a lot of things in life that are not fair and it hardly seems mature to want to have sex with a lot of partners just because the boys do! That's a very poor justification.

                                    Being equal and free doesn't mean you need to feel the same way about sex as boys. It means that being picky and choosey is also perfectly acceptable and you have the right to say no.

                                    Sex as a simple physical experience doesn't have much value on it's own. To the male who is a "hunter" it is a trophy. To the female who was seduced and used it is not bragging rights.

                                    It is wise to save that experience for that special person. By the way one of the reasons for the old attitudes about virginity was because that way a woman didn't know if her husband was the best at it, since she had no comparison. But, does that mean you should test them all to see who is the best?

                                    Battle Scarred Veteran
                                    http://www.usAHSA.org and http://www.noreinstatement.org

                                    Comment


                                    • Excuse me Saddlefitter - I did refer to male/female in my posts.

                                      There should not be a double standard for young men. And young men are preyed upon by coaches but we don't see it as often in the horse world because fewer young boys ride than girls. And I'm sure it does occur.

                                      No it's not acceptable to tell your daughter to be selective and abstain and slap your son on the back and say "boys will be boys". It comes down to parenting and teaching responsibility and respect for themselves and others.
                                      Summit Sporthorses Ltd. Inc.
                                      "Breeding Competition Partners & Lifelong Friends"

                                      Comment


                                      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Darkerhorse:
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hillary Clinton:
                                        <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Alan Greenspan:
                                        And everyone knows how I feel about irrationality. And exuberance. And Hillarykins.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        And I about you, Alan darling.

                                        You make me feel like a teenager again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        Sloppy Sarah Stevens says that Hillary Clinton turns her on..

                                        ---
                                        Never apologize never explain...
                                        I haven't and I don't...
                                        --Marianne Faithfull<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        Well Richard, not exactly, but that Alan Greenspan.... WOW, what a HOTTIE. And we all know how I feel about MONEY and POWER...

                                        -I don't know, don't really care... Let there be songs to fill the air-

                                        Comment


                                        • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Darkerhorse:
                                          and THAT attitude is why cases with boys aren't as talked about in the media...
                                          <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                          Darkerhorse that's exactly what I was thinking. I think that the support is not there for boys who've been abused in the way it is for girls. From what I've seen anyway. Either from their peers or from the culture in general. Boys see that and they stay silent the way girls did 50 years ago.

                                          Comment

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