• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Sex abuse in the Horse World

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Well Anne FS - by her own admission Sandstone is an Adult now but still feels it's o.k. for a minor to have sex with a trainer if the age difference isn't too different. I'm wondering why she has the Junior tags on her subscript if she's now an adult.

    And those of us shocked at these posts aren't obsessed with virginity - we are concerned with promiscuity and lack of self esteem. Those who want to be virgins when they married HAVE that choice - but PLEASE don't tell me all of you flag wavers for freedom don't make these young men and women feel strange for making that choice.

    I just know that no one in my junior high (way back when) was "hooking up" and oral sex was SEX. Maybe looking back decisions seem a lot different over the years. And unfortunately discretion on the part of your partners is un-controllable when it comes to their decision to share the details with others.
    Summit Sporthorses Ltd. Inc.
    "Breeding Competition Partners & Lifelong Friends"

    Comment


    • sandstone, I'm curious: what was your topic about sex for rides about? it seems like it fits into the original ideas of this topic well.

      Comment


      • This may be way off...but where is love in all of this? Is sex b/c you love someone gone out the window these days? I sound old don't I but I'm just out of my teenage years

        I'm not sure who it was who said it, but they mentioned that they had sex with someone b/c they felt comfortable with that person. I just about fell off of my chair!! Geez...I feel comfortable with a lot of guys but that certainly doesn't form a basis for sexual relations...in my opinion that is.

        I guess I am old fashioned about love being an important aspect of sex. And really, to keep this on topic, if you are a trainer and you fall in love with an underaged student...than you should be able to contain yourself until that minor is an adult. If you can't..I would seriously re-evaluate how much you really love that person or perhaps what love means to you.
        \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

        Comment


        • ise, I really DON'T think I make people feel weird about choosing to remain virgins. It's a personal decision ... I wouldn't want people making ME feel strange for MY personal decisions, why in the heck would I want to do it to someone else? I don't think it's weird, and with today's movement of teen abstinance (and I mean independent of abstinance-only sex ed programs) it's NOT weird in a lot of parts of the country.

          Czar, sex and love go hand in hand, but they don't always. If that makes any sense. I confine sex to loving, committed relationships. Which do exist at my age, really. I don't feel the need to 'go out and get laid'. Sure, I have the urge sometimes but really, it's just that much better when you're in a long-term relationship with someone you love.

          As for the underage student/trainer thing, I agree. Or better yet, wait until they're not your student anymore - there's been more than one story about the young college professor who falls for their student and WAITS until said student has graduated to take it to another level.

          -Albion

          'O lente, lente currite noctis equi' - Ovid

          Comment


          • Can we please get back on topic, people!

            I believe that a young woman of 15 can make a mature choice to sleep with one of her peers,practice safe sex, and have a meaningful relationship.

            I believe that a young woman of 15 can make a mature choice not to sleep with one of her peers and have a meaningful relationship.

            I believe that as a society, we have are prompting early sexual development and teaching girls that their primary assest is their sexuality and not their brains or personality.

            But what we are talking about (or should be) is the expoitation of girls by adults that occupy a position of trust. Period.


            It's about choice!
            Not who boinked who and when they did it and why.

            Comment


            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> I'm not sure who it was who said it, but they mentioned that they had sex with someone b/c they felt comfortable with that person. I just about fell off of my chair!! Geez...I feel comfortable with a lot of guys but that certainly doesn't form a basis for sexual relations...in my opinion that is.
              <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


              That was me. I wasn't talking about some random guy friend--I was talking about a boyfriend of nearly a year at the time, and we have since been together for 3 1/2 years. It was my own decision, and I really don't know why it should shock you.

              Comment


              • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Albion:
                I'm just saying that there's NOTHING shameful about retaining (maintaining?) your virginity. I don't feel there is ANYTHING shameful about me, as a 20 year old, having sex with my boyfriend who I've been dating for quite a long while.

                I don't care if someone decides to stay a virgin til marriage, or not - I just expect NOT to be treated or talked about like the freakin town slut. Because I'm not out sleeping with everyone I feel like, I'm not out hooking up & having one night stands.

                The idea that because someone loses their virginity before the age of [fill in the blank here] or marriage means they turn into some sort of slut who's sleeping with everything around is just plain insulting!

                <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                Fair enough, I don't think you're the town slut. Never have called someone a slut for having responsible sex in committed relationships.

                You may say there's nothing shameful about being a virgin at whatever age, but let me tell you, you are in the minority. And I am telling you this from firsthand experience. I am a virgin. Now, before everyone goes and checks my profile, I'm 31 and I plan on waiting for marriage. It's been hard at times, but it is what I believe. and the condemnation I feel from the majority of society is unbelievable. I am not frigid, I am not a prude, I just believe that sex should be within the confines of marriage and know that for *my* emotional health, letting someone get that close to me without some guarantee of being in it for the long haul together would not be smart. (And I know marriage isn't a guaranteed forever...which is why I am still single and looking for someone worth the effort ) I will believe this if I am single at 45. I may end up being the oldest American Virgin, but I shouldn't be made to feel abnormal.

                The stereotypes are there for both sides. You're not a slut and I'm not frigid.
                Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
                Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"

                Comment


                • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Czar:
                  <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I personally think that conservative/religious obsession with virginity is strange <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  Wow! So now, if you value virginity, you are an obsessed, strange, conservative, religious person?! Geez! lol

                  No wonder young kids are giving their virginity away at ridiculously young ages...who would want to be stuck with that stigma!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                  My feeling is that putting an extra-special premium on virginity--and people here are using the word "prized"--and elevating it as an asset for your future, is classifying your sexuality as a currency. Using phrases like "giving it away" and "saving" it indicate that it's seen as a something to be traded, like money. I'd rather talk about the ability to think critically and act with self-determination, which don't necessarily go hand-in-hand with virginity, but certainly prepare someone better for constructive relationships than an accounting of whether or not they've ever had sex. And not to belabor the point, but making virginity a "prize" is unhelpful when many children and adults have had no choice in whether or not to keep theirs.

                  I've seen some of the abstinence-education materials that religious groups distribute to children, and one of the bonuses they cite for virginity is that girls can attract a better class of husband when they are "pure." Maybe it's just me, but I think that's creepy, and not ethically any different from using intercourse to get a relationship going.

                  Comment


                  • And, of course, it's all compounded, jl, by the fact that girls are physically maturing at increasingly younger ages.

                    Comment


                    • Fair enough, RugBug. Maybe I am in the minority - which depresses me. But I really DO believe everything I posted - it makes no difference to me whether someone is a virgin or not, assuming they're of an age to rationally make a decision about such things.

                      Anyway - back on topic!

                      -Albion

                      'O lente, lente currite noctis equi' - Ovid

                      Comment


                      • starlite....my apologies...you did not mention in your post that this person was a boyfriend. It sounded from your post as though the decision was very casual. Again, my apologies.

                        hobson...I definitely see your point and while it doesn't change my own beliefs, I do understand your train of thought. It only struck me funny when I first read it
                        \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

                        Comment


                        • Although still a proud member of the jr cliques I am an adult I show in the adults without a harnes, have relationships with men in their late 20s BLAH BLAH BLAH

                          The sex for rides thing was regarding junior riders: How far would you go to get to show a horse? ::senario-another trainer comes up to you in the tack room suduces you and says why dont you come by my room tonight and we can have a few drinks, talk about you riding that new horse i just got:: Yes, a true story although not me.

                          Marion
                          *Amalia*

                          Comment


                          • Well, in that scenario, Marion, I would hope the girl would kick him in the nuts.

                            Sadly, would also bet there are many ambitious and driven juniors who might contemplate it; also think that some of these girls may well justify it in their minds as acknowledgement of their talent - rather than recognizing it as blatant manipulation and exploitation. But then again, there are adult women who'd probably contemplate a similar 'exchange' to advance their careers.

                            Comment


                            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>And, of course, it's all compounded, jl, by the fact that girls are physically maturing at increasingly younger ages.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                              Any idea why, Heidi? I'm really curious, as I know that I started my period about four years earlier than my mother did. However, I always thought that was because she had lacked sufficient nutrition from the age of 13 to 16.

                              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>The sex for rides thing was regarding junior riders: How far would you go to get to show a horse? ::senario-another trainer comes up to you in the tack room suduces you and says why dont you come by my room tonight and we can have a few drinks, talk about you riding that new horse i just got<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                              At 14, lonely and scared and very much in of male adult approval-I may well have thought that it was a good trade. He must really like me to want me, right?

                              At the ripe old age I am now, I would tell him to f@ck himself so loudly that you'd still be hearing the echoes.

                              Comment


                              • lol jl...ahh...that made my day!
                                \"Don\'t go throwing effort after foolishness\" >>>Spur, Man From Snowy River

                                Comment


                                • jl, it's still a contentious debate, but some of the theories being tossed around include better overall nutrition, and the fact that children are getting fatter. There seems to be some link between childhood obesity and the onset of female puberty. Also, there may be environmental causes - there are apparently 'estrogen mimics' which are naturally occuring chemicals.

                                  Article from the ACSH - provides an decent overview of the debate, some of the theories, and the criticsims of those theories.

                                  -Albion

                                  'O lente, lente currite noctis equi' - Ovid

                                  Comment


                                  • Well "JL" I DON'T feel someone 15 is mature enough to have a meaningful sexual relationship with a peer. With or without birth control. I'm 52 and had my first sexual experience at 19. I've been married for 25+ years - to the same man! - and lived with him for three years before that. BUT I can still remember missing a period at the age of 22 and that horrible feeling of what this would mean to my life. I don't really believe ANY 15 year old is so mature and "with it" that they can handle that situation. My God - we have young women who are having babies NOW and putting them in trash cans. NOW - when they have all the choices my generation never had. Buying rubbers was like trying to buy some controlled substance when I was in college. Forget abortions - I knew a girl who flew to England to have one done legally. We all chipped in money for airfare. But with all of the restrictions we had I never recall ANYONE having a full term baby and putting it in a dumpster. AND - better yet - this wonderful mature, knowledgable generation we have now - doesn't even notice that their friend is pregnant?!?! Give me a break.

                                    Just because young girls are getting their periods at a younger age (which BTW - is now linked to hormones in meat & milk) - doesn't mean there's a link to maturity at a younger age.

                                    Sandstone brags she's now an adult and having "relations" with guys in their late 20's. Wow - wave the flag - you're legal, you're available and by golly you're ready!!

                                    Sadly these posts that state 15 yo's are mature enough for sex - puts pressure on young kids that age - so when some sick (and I mean sick) horse trainer or whatever shmoozes them - well they are already brainwashed in to believing - they're ready ...they can handle it.

                                    To the person who asked about sex with love. Well we can all agree there's levels of fornication and people set different standards for what they want and need. But truly loving someone and sharing a lifetime of ups & downs, good times, bad times and sexual relations all along the way - well the intimacy is not even definable. The passion is way beyond even those crazy, crazy nights when you were young and had no thoughts of tomorrow.
                                    Summit Sporthorses Ltd. Inc.
                                    "Breeding Competition Partners & Lifelong Friends"

                                    Comment


                                    • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>My feeling is that putting an extra-special premium on virginity--and people here are using the word "prized"--and elevating it as an asset for your future, is classifying your sexuality as a currency. Using phrases like "giving it away" and "saving" it indicate that it's seen as a something to be traded, like money.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                      Exactly hobson. Although in the scenario described by Marion, sex is being used as currency.
                                      One of the problems that I see is that if you going to use something as intimate as your sexuality to barter for better rides -you better damn well make sure that you know what and why you're having sex and you better make sure that you're getting fair value for your trade.
                                      A woman of 30 that decides to do her boss to climb the corporate ladder (and I am not repeat not advocating this type of behavior is making an informed decision.
                                      A girl of 16 that decides to have sex with her trainer to ensure his approval is not.

                                      [This message was edited by jl on May. 01, 2003 at 05:03 PM.]

                                      Comment


                                      • Ooops, I deleted my post....... did not read far enough to notice a follow-up by the poster I was questioning......sorry.
                                        [i]\"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be wo

                                        Comment


                                        • Well,ise@ssl, you're most certainly entitled to your opinion.
                                          That said, having grown up in what we call the 3rd world, I've known women that were mature enough to have sex, bear children, and build a business to help support their families at 15.
                                          I think you're generalizing based on your limited experiences within this culture. American teenagers are paradoxically encouraged to display grownup sexuality at a very young age while also being cosseted as children.

                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>My God - we have young women who are having babies NOW and putting them in trash cans.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                          This is nothing new historically and has always occurred when women have been penalized by society for giving birth.
                                          <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Sandstone brags she's now an adult and having "relations" with guys in their late 20's. Wow - wave the flag - you're legal, you're available and by golly you're ready!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
                                          You've over stepped-the line here. I hardly think Sandstone has been bragging nor do I think your implication that she's to drop her pants at the wave of a flag as you so charmingly put it,is fair.

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X