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RIP Aero

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  • My condolences go out to you!

    I loved hearing the tales of Aero and he will be missed dearly!

    I couldn't imagine being in your place. He is in a better place now and is happy.

    HUGS!!

    I love cats, I love every single cat....
    So anyway I am a cat lover
    And I love to run.

    Comment

    • Original Poster

      Thank you everyone--

      I have not read every reply word for word...

      but DO know that the words I read when this shitty day started this morning were the words I needed to find and gather the strength to do what he was begging me to do--every time he screamed at me, he wasasking, and suddenly as hescreamed at me, he looked so so so old.

      Your words helped me shut out that little voice saying "Maybe you could try.....or what about...." and do what needed to be done

      Situpandride said during one of our many crisises (if thats not a word it is now) that it was just a dress rehearsal for the inevitable. She was right. Those times when I questioned it helped me brace myself for this, but nothing could prepare for the pure raw pain, anger, guilt, remorse, etc.

      You see, I only had two and a half years with Aero. I called about him and another horse for lease at the time and as he was described to me over the phone I already decided I would lease him. I told the person I would take him sight unseen.

      So that began our relationship. I feel robbed not have been able to love him longer. The first time I met him I was riding another horse and he was led into the indoor and he looked me up and down and blew me off. Later on I groomed from head to toe and gave him treats and he decided he liked me somewhat.

      I then had his hocks injected and he gave me some of the most wonderful rides of my life. He began to look for me and realize I was "his." The girl who I leased him from ended up giving him to me as he was "too high maintenance" and I jumped into the role head first.

      Then he had a spinal cord injury which we rehabbed for 6 months...he then abcessed severely in his RF and almost had surgery--6 months back into under saddle work he bowed his tendon....9 months later he went back under saddle but was diagnosed with Cushings---then the latest crisises -- the back, the puncture wound, the colic, the tying up--all happened.

      I am angry I did not have near enough time with him. But i am also trying to grasp that he was sent to me for a reason, and reason was for me to give him a loving life in the end.

      He was a very stoic and proud horse and always thought a horse trailer ride meant a horse show which meant all the attention on him. When he went to the clinic for his abcess he came off the trailer and looked around and screamed "THIS IS INDEED NOT A SHOW" When I showed him this soring for fun he thought he was quite cool and showed off his lead changes even when they were not asked for and threw in a few bucks for good measure.

      He was not just mine, but I was his.

      I cannot believe he is gone. Jen22 came over tonight and brought purple roses and a sparkly chestnut Beanie baby, which he would have loffed. She sat and cried with me and we told Aero stories--she knew him when she was younger when he was a lesson horse at another barn. She said he was as snotty back then as he was later in life. She got me to laugh but not to eat as I am afraid I will throw up still so I promised I would try tomorrow--she and I always have Fun Day on Thursdays and I am going to need one-- I have been warned that tomorrow will be tough.

      i still feel as if it is surreal and I am numb and I know he is gone but I do not believe he is gone, if that makes sense.

      i honestly do not think I would have found the strength to do it had it not been for this thread--I really dont. I have now been up for 19 hours straight and had to make the hardest decision of my life today--and that decision will in turn affect many other decisions I need to make in the upcoming weeks, of which I am not even going to think about right now--as Coreene said on the phone, I have met my "weekly decision quota" today.

      I have never had to put a horse down and have never been around when one has been put down---I thank my vet for preparing me for the twitches, the eyes not closing, etc. I will sit down and write them a letter when my mind is a bit more clear and thank them for everything--from putting up with my hysteric horse mom crisises concerning Aero to validating the decision I made.

      I have his poop in a baggie in the freezer and his blankets in a garbage bag and his tail on my dresser--I am not sure what I am going to do with it--didnt someone say they make bracelets? I tried to get a chunk that had all the colors and did not take a thick chunk as i did not want to send him to the bridge tail-less.

      The tears come in waves--I only cried once when Jen was here but that is ok because she cried for the 2 of us--plus I have spent the day crying--i cannot believe how much snot and how many tears one human can produce--I am dreading going to bed because when I wake up in the morning it will not just be a dream and when I walk into the barn and call out "Hey Gorgeous How are you?" there will be no answer. I do feel a huge emptiness inside that I do not think I will ever be full again.

      i have only doubled over and cried til I gagged once and that is when he first went down--but I am sure it will be to yet come again. Oddly enough as I walked back to the house after he went, I felt somewhat serene but the moment only lasted for a fleeting second.

      My eyes feel like they weight 68034 pounds and I am sure they look like it too--putting contacts in ought to be interesting the next few days.

      This has been one of the worst months of my life--and as I said, Aeros death is going to change a lot of things for in the upcoming weeks---everything, as shitty as they may be, happens for a reason. The problem is that the reason is not always obvious at the time and often enough it seems to not make sense.

      Again, thank you
      Co-founder of White Trash Dressage (WTD)
      http://www.lulu.com/mavw1971
      also available on Amazon.com
      http://www.cafepress.com/wtdressage

      Comment


      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Astraled:
        You'll see Aero again . Good horses come back. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

        This, this wonderful, wonderful sentiment, I absolutely, 100% believe, Molly. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even in a year or two, but somehow, some way, they find their way back to their special person.

        Our hearts ache and ache until that time. And much like you knew when it was time for Aero to move on to his next life, so, too, will come the time when you look into another pair of lovely eyes and realize that there, just there, is the spark of your dear old friend, come back to spend another lifetime with you.

        In the meantime, take comfort that you did the right thing, the moral thing, the BEST thing for Aero. And that he thanks you for it.

        So, as you cry for the loss of your dear friend, hold this thought upper most: It's only goodbye until you meet again.
        Congratulate me! My CANTER cutie is an honor student at Goofball University!

        Comment


        • Molly,

          My heart goes out to you and your tremendous courage. I lost my absolute best friend when he turned 29 and the day came he told me it was time. I had bought my property because I knew I couldnot be separated from him. I was lucky that I was able to arrange for my vet and the back hoe to arrive at the same time. But you showed some much more courage than me. I spent the morning with Dan but when the time came, the vet advised me to walk him to spot under the tree and then he said to drop the lead rope and walk away. I could not face losing him. I am crying even as I write this and it was six years ago. Your strength to actually be at his side amazes me. I had Dan for 19 years but I think if I saw him go down I would have totally lost it. I walked into my house and tried to shut off the sounds outside. I still can't think of that day without crying. I have never been able to part with the mane and tail hair I saved that I wanted to make into a bracelet.
          Although life has gone on and thanks to this BB I have learned so much of the wonder companions that Dan is with over the Rainbow Bridge, he will forever remain in my heart.

          Though you don't know me as you do some of the other BBers, I understand what you feel and admire how you handled it. Your courage is to me an inspiration.

          Thank you for sharing your story.

          Comment


          • horse_poor, I am SO SO SO sorry for the loss you have suffered. Just remember, we are all here as a shoulder to cry on.

            Comment


            • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Beezer:
              <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Astraled:
              You'll see Aero again . Good horses come back. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              This, _this wonderful, wonderful sentiment,_ I absolutely, 100% believe, Molly. Maybe not immediately, maybe not even in a year or two, but somehow, someway, they find their way back to their special person.

              <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

              I believe it too. It's the only way I can explain having had a once in a lifetime horse twice, the first one died when I was 17. This one didn't come to me until I was 40-something. The connection was INSTANT. I had seen her in a dream, as she looks now, not then, about three months before I had any idea she existed. I like to believe we may have existed many lifetimes together, but that may be a little fanciful....
              Freaky Farm Hermit Clique
              Mighty Thoroughbred Clique COMH Page: Tory Relic

              Comment


              • So Sorry to hear of you loss...it will take awhile, but bit by bit the good memories will start to take over the and soften the hurt of this day...

                Goodspeed Royal Aero
                West of nowhere

                Comment


                • Dear horse_poor,

                  As I was walking past Mr. Blondie's stall this evening, I noticed him staring at his www machine with a sweet, sad look on his face. I asked if he was okay, and he stepped aside so I could read what he had been reading. It was a post on the Rainbow Forums - the horse dog was describing Aero's arrival today.

                  The horse dog and Willem were there, of course, as Aero stepped blinking into the warm sunshine. There was a large but respectful crowd waiting for him, curious to meet this esteemed personage about whom they had heard so much.

                  As Aero gazed about him in wonder at the multitude that had come to welcome him, he noticed a beautiful young woman - tall and slim and blonde - standing beside the horse dog, holding the most magnificent purple horse robe he could ever have imagined. Moving ever so quietly so as not to startle him, she stepped forward and gracefully draped the horse robe around him. She gently kissed him on the nose, and quietly whispered, "Welcome, Royal Cousin."

                  Naturally, as soon as he heard her voice, he immediately knew who it was, and was mortified that she should see him in such a state - old, stiff, ill, missing part of his tail - but as he stepped backwards to bow his respect to her, he noticed that he could move without pain. His hooves were solid and shiny and perfect. His hocks bent as freely as they had when he was a weanling. And as he bent his head down, he wondered at the sight of his now-strong legs, softly glowing with health. Then he caught sight of his tail - flowing, thick and luxurious, down to brush the ground.

                  When he straightened, taller and more magnificent than ever before, the woman was gone. But his new friends were still there, and the festivities began... and nary a paparazzo in sight (because, of course, they are dispatched posthaste to The Other Place).

                  Hugs to you from Mr. Blondie and Prozac Pony and me.
                  Approved helmet: Every time; every ride.
                  "When a sport gets to be predictable it ceases to be fun." - RAR's wise brother

                  Comment


                  • Molly, I don't post often anymore, but I wanted to join everyone else here to send all the prayers, positive thoughts and energy I can to you. Please know that this wonderful Royal One carries your love with him. It never, ever dies, and I truly believe he'll be watching out for you.

                    You are a horsewoman in the truest sense of the word. Tonight, I raise a glass to you and Aero. Your courage and dedication are an inspiration to us all.

                    Comment


                    • HP thank you for loving him enough to let him go.

                      /hugs

                      Comment


                      • I'm sitting here with my eyes full of tears. What an awful day for you to go through! Like others I followed your stories on Aero on COTH and new he had a bad healing wound but had read nothing on a colic. I saw the pictures on his last showing, what a sweet heart. So I was really shocked to see Rip Aero on my screen. I now read that you had him for a relatively short time, but you took good care of him and I'm sure he blossomed (at least mentally) in your care. He knew he was loved by you, he must have felt it. I mean WE even feel it. You were really brave in your decision and you can let go now; he is now without pain and safe. I don't know if I'm going to be so brave when Fargo's time will come but I do hope I'll have the strength. For now, take care and know that he will still be around; he's with you in your heart.
                        Offspring of Ramiro Z clique,member TrakehNERD Clique Very proud and honored to be the human of Fargo (RIP) and Whizzard. Whizz what a true friend you are.

                        Comment


                        • Whoever said that good horses come back is absolutely true... I had an angel of a pony who we had to put to sleep four and a half years ago. She was incredibly special, and she was my first pony, which made it even harder. She had foundered pretty badly originally in her left front, and then from putting lots of stress on her other legs, her right front began to founder as well, and she began to rapidly decline. We went to see her a few days before we put her to sleep, and it was heartbreaking to see. I can't even describe it-- this was a normally tubby pony who loved to eat, who wouldn't even get up to go eat-- Louise (Muller, the lady who was taking care of her) would put her food in front of her so that she wouldn't have to get up to eat. Three days later, we made the decision to put her to sleep. Ironically, I was feeling sick that day and decided not to go to school. I am very, very glad that I didn't.

                          A year and a half later, I ended up with another horse who was as similar to the pony as possible.

                          Horse_poor, you will always remember Aero. I still look at pictures of Justine and cry. I cried while reading this thread-- I know how heartbreaking it is to have to put a horse to sleep, but it's the best thing for them. It's even worse seeing them suffer.

                          Major hugs. XXX
                          Charlotte

                          Comment


                          • I am so very very sorry. I am not very eloquent so I will just echo the thought "good horses get to come back." Aero will never die - he will live forever in your heart. You were the best thing to have happened to him. Giving you a great big ((((((hug)))).
                            "Cats aren't clean; they're covered with cat spit."
                            - John S Nichols (1745-1846,writer/printer)

                            Don't come for me - I didn't send for you.

                            Comment


                            • Oh Molly. I sob with you. I hurt with you.

                              I spent quite some time in prayer for you in the shower last evening because I could sob in there without Mr. C'mare hearing me. I specifically prayed that God would give you some peaceful sleep, with good dreams of Aero, knowing that that would be the hardest thing for you last night.

                              Risk-Averse's story of Aero's crossing and meeting the Princess, minus the paparazzi, did me in this morning. What a beautiful word picture she painted of His Royalness finally feeling free again.

                              I'm sure Willem would agree: You be das bestest mum ever.
                              <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                              Comment


                              • dear horse_poor, I am so sorry for you, and am sending you warm hugs. I do understand the pain you are feeling, as many of us do. It is the last act of love you can do for them.
                                Last December, I had to put my precious Lucy down. I had foaled her and loved her her whole life. and I thought the pain was going to kill me. The year before that I had to put my Bob down - I had him for 21 years...
                                Afterwards, my husband and I sat on the couch crying and talking, and he said something that has helped me.
                                He said, it is like a door opening and this beautiful shining thing comes into your life, for a period of time, and then another door opens, and the shining thing passes through....
                                they are gone, for now, from our life.. and the world seems so dark with their passing...
                                He wrote a song, called "Shining Thing" I know it is about Lucy,and all the dogs and horses we have loved, that brighten our lives, that shine with their own transcendent beauty, and then, move on...
                                love never ends..
                                hugs to you. xox gail
                                I'm crying my eyes out again for all the loss and the loss to come.

                                I take some of the tail hairs and put them away till spring, and then place them out on branches and bushes for the birds to find, and to use them in their nests...
                                it is comforting for me to see the swallows' nests in the barn, and to see grey and black hairs woven through....
                                A Fine Romance. April 1991 - June 2016. Loved forever.

                                Comment


                                • I know I don't post here anymore, but when I saw this...
                                  Horse_poor I am so so sorry about Aero. I cannot fathom how hard this is for you but I commend your courage and dedication. We need more horsewomen like you. Aero could never have asked for a better mother, one who stuck it out and made the right decisions.
                                  He was truly a special horse and I know you will miss him beyond missing him, but you did the right thing and he thanks you for that.
                                  From my ponies and myself I extend my most sincere sympathies, hugs, slobbers, and virtual manes to cry in.
                                  Huge hugs to you Molly,
                                  xoxox-Mar
                                  If riding were all blue ribbons and bright lights, I would have quit long ago.
                                  ~George Morris

                                  Comment


                                  • Big hugs for your bravery.

                                    My big black Bentley horse will be happy to show him around over there--his speciallty is best rolling/scratching places.

                                    Comment


                                    • horse poor,

                                      I just came across this thread this morning.

                                      God bless you for having the courage to give Aero the release he asked for.

                                      Being the human of an older, much loved horse, I dread the day I have to make the same decision.

                                      I hope that I can do it with the same dignity and fortitude you've shown.

                                      Godspeed Aero, your mum loves you very much.
                                      Homeopathy claims water can cure you since it once held medicine. That's like saying you can get sustenance from an empty plate because it once held food.

                                      Comment


                                      • <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by horse_poor:
                                        I had his tablecloth sheet that I took off him before he corssed, the blanket covering him when he crossed, a baggie of poop in my pocket, his sheet Iwas mending---what to do with it? -- <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

                                        HP, I know you're probably not at the point to think about this, but odds are you'll look back on this thread over the coming weeks, so I'm going to post it while it's in my head.

                                        You asked what to do with the sheet you were mending and immediately Equinelaundry popped into my head. I think Aero would be proud to have his sheet cleaned and donated to another TB who is in need. Since EL generously fixes, cleans and donates sheets/blankets to the rescue of your choice, you could specify a TB rescue for his sheet.

                                        I recently came to terms with the fact that my old boy's blankets would never fit his niece and nephew and sent them to EL so that they could go keep a needy horse warm. I thought I would be sad to see them go, but it actually felt really good, as I know that Red would have approved.
                                        www.sandbarequinetransport.com

                                        Proud member of the ILMD[FN]HP and Bull Snap Haters Cliques

                                        Comment


                                        • H_P, I am sitting here at the front desk weeping and hoping no clients come in . . .

                                          I am so sad that we have lost such a special member of our COTH family, and wish I could find the right words for you, but there really aren't any.

                                          The important thing to remember is that he loved and trusted you enough to tell you when it was time and you loved him enough to let him go. So he went on his own terms. When its all said and done, remember that. Hold on to your memories and love and know you did the right thing.

                                          Lots of hugs and support coming your way. Just remember how much you and Aero are loved here.
                                          \"Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.\" Anne of Green Gables

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