• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.



Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 1/26/16)
See more
See less

Great Lesson -- But What's Wrong With Me?

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Great Lesson -- But What's Wrong With Me?

    I just got back from a GREAT riding lesson. I had an absolute blast riding with an absolute Cadillac little OTTB mare. After years of H/J, I am starting at very beginner level dressage, and my lesson horse is a school master. (My own horses are still home for what remains of the winter.)

    My face is beaming, the smiles so wide. I just cannot say how much fun I had. And a much-needed break.

    However -- please tell me I am not the only one who does this -- before the lesson, I almost didn't go. I didn't want to go. Intellectually I wanted to go, but the rest of me did not want to go. I was not afraid, there is nothing to fear with this horse, riding at this level.

    I didn't want to change my clothes, pull on my boots, chaps, helmet. Get the horse out of the stall, groom her, pick hooves. Saddle pad, saddle, tighten the girth, bit & bridle.

    For some reason -- these just seemed like overwhelming tasks. And I nearly bailed out of the lesson.

    What's wrong with me? Am I just becoming very very lazy?? Does anyone have these thoughts before a lesson?

    I rode great today. Been working out all winter, and it is really paying off in my riding. And, the horse is just wonderful. It was overall just a lovely time. But I almost didn't go ... ideas?

  • #2
    I think this happens to me more when I've been riding a lot, or I'm really tired, or the weather is crappy. Or if my last ride was a crummy one. But really, the majority of it boils down to laziness. Sometimes the thought of getting dressed and driving out to the barn, despite really wanting to see my horse, is the last thing I want to do. Especially if its not convenient! But I usually suck it up and go anyway, and then I'm always so glad I did! Sounds like the same situation for you.

    Helps if I hit up the barn after work or something, because if I get home and let my butt hit that couch, its pretty much all over.


    • #3
      I feel like that often. Sometimes it's just the difficulty of changing my attention, pulling it away from whatever task I'm on to all the prep for riding. I don't find the prep itself to be very enjoyable, including a rather long drive out to the barn.

      I've overcome the long drive part by getting the best possible audiobooks I can, so I look forward to the drive. The other parts, I just tell myself I'm not going to ride today, while I actually get up and do all the stuff I have to do to ride today. I find that telling myself I'm not going to do it gives me a sort of zen like relaxation about the whole thing. I'll be on the horse and starting to trot, and saying in my mind, "I'm just not going to ride today." Weird, huh? And then the process itself, which I love so much, takes over.

      Are you just bored with all the stuff like getting dressed, grooming, and such? I know I get bored and particularly irritated with pulling on those stretch breeches, cause they always twist up, lol. Low levels of annoyance, that I think can start to poison the whole process.

      Also, maybe there's still some tension, if not fear--maybe you are afraid of the lesson not going well, anticipating problems or thinking of times that didn't go well. Now you have a great lesson to use as a visualization, if that helps.

      At any rate, no you aren't the only one!
      Ring the bells that still can ring
      Forget your perfect offering
      There is a crack in everything
      That's how the light gets in.


      • #4
        Winter blahs??

        I have them right now. I find all sorts of excuses and make promises to myself. "Oh, it's too windy, yuck, she'll be spooky and I HATE riding in the wind anyways," "Ugh, I'm on nights and have fitness goals for myself, and the gym is only open XYZ hours...when I go back to days, I'll ride more..."

        That's what happens to me. It's worse when I'm on nights too, because the weather is shitty; it's cold and wet and windy (and recently, snowy); I don't wake up until 1pm which is early and I'm tired, or 230pm and then there are only two hours of daylight this time of year; blah blah blah.
        COTH's official mini-donk enabler

        "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


        • #5
          I find that I'm much the same, although with my horse being off lately and only being allowed to lunge, my motivation was even less. Drive all the way out, get all his gear on, set up all the trot poles, lunge, take all his gear off, then clean up the arena :/

          It takes a LOT of effort to go out there for maybe 30 mins of working the horse, when the prep time takes longer than the actual work. I find the cold and dark are my biggest enemies. If I come home and I'm cold, I'm not getting out from under the blankets.

          However, we've had some sunny, nicer days lately which have upped my motivation. Now I can't wait for my guy to be sound again so I can get back on!


          • #6
            I'm like that, especially in the winter... even tonight I used the excuse of "oh, it's cold, and I want to be home in time to watch the hockey game" to skip my ride. But as others have said--warmer weather and the reappearance of sun usually give me a good recharge!
            "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

            Graphite/Pastel Portraits


            • #7
              Originally posted by King's Ransom View Post
              I didn't want to change my clothes, pull on my boots, chaps, helmet. Get the horse out of the stall, groom her, pick hooves. Saddle pad, saddle, tighten the girth, bit & bridle.
              I started re-riding again on Sundays at the start of Dec. As I normally sleep in until noon on Sundays, getting up at 7 a.m. to get showered, dressed and packed to go to my lesson (an hour away) was unbearable. Well, not the doing part, but the thought of it was unbearable.

              As much as I loved riding -- once I was there -- getting up and going was torture. I blame the rain and cold we had -- even here in mild Ga. I only bailed on one lesson, and that was because the windchill was around 19 degrees that morning.

              BUT -- I will have to say, now that it's part of my routine, and the weather is warming up nicely, there's no hesitation (other than a couple of snooze alarm hits) to get me going and out the door.

              I'm sure some (most?) of it on my part is laziness, but I've had the same routine for a few years now. I actually felt, I don't know -- disgruntled? slighted? -- by the fact something new was suddenly on my schedule and demanded my attention on Sunday mornings.
              The dude abides ...


              • #8
                This happens to me when my horse is at the backyard barn. It's hard to get motivated, and some days I have to literally give myself a kick in the butt to go ride as opposed to just do barn chores and go home.
                But I am ALWAYS happy that I did get on and ride. Interestingly, my mare (ottb and can be a bit of a fruitloop some days) often gives me the best rides when I don't feel like riding!
                At the big indoor where my horse is now, I don't get that feeling even tho I am riding pretty much every day. It's a big, busy barn and I am very rarely alone in the indoor. It's good for motivation, since I ride alone a lot when at the other barn. I work better when people are watching!
                Case in point, it was 20 degrees and windy today, and I still rode.

                If you feel like that on a regular basis tho, maybe you need to find an activity you really look forward to?
                Ottbs - The finish line is only the beginning!


                • #9
                  Originally posted by sophie View Post
                  This happens to me when my horse is at the backyard barn. It's hard to get motivated, and some days I have to literally give myself a kick in the butt to go ride as opposed to just do barn chores and go home.
                  But I am ALWAYS happy that I did get on and ride.
                  I'm the same way and my horses are in my own backyard barn! I rode much more when they were at the boarding barn, and I think part of it was the barn aisle chit-chat, that made the grooming and saddling a bit less tedious. Now that I am alone in the barn, it all just seems like work. It is easier if my daughter is also going to ride, as I have someone to chat with then.
                  There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams


                  • #10
                    This was a common feeling for me. It seemed like it was all just too much of a bother.

                    But I started changing the way I talked to myself. Instead of falling into the "Gee, its time to get ready for my lesson and I need to stir myself enough to change my clothes, and my horse was a real sh*t last time and he'll be like that again and why do I continue to do this..." kind of self-talk I made a conscious effort to say things like "I am so lucky to have a horse of my own and my instructor is so great about motivating me to try new things and I am sooo close to getting the whole connection thing".

                    It really has helped me a great deal. Sounds simple enough and it really is, but it has been a revolutionary experience for me.


                    • #11
                      Happens to me too, more often in winter but also in summer. Once I get out there I love every minute and am so happy to have gone, but some days I just can't get moving. I'll get out of my work clothes and just can't seem to make it into my riding ones

                      Then again, happens with the gym too. Le sigh.
                      Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia


                      • #12
                        Since you've had a bunch of things happen lately that were very stressful, I would be surprised if you weren't a little tired and stressed. Maybe there are ways through organizing differently, or scheduling youf time a little differently that could make it less effort to get to your lesson. In my case I totally hate to exercise, so I have my clothes set up and ready to change into very quickly, and then I get tough with myself about just getting it done. And I think it will get easier when the time change happens (not too long from now), and everything else settles down a bit, plus it's been a very long, nasty winter so spring will help a ton.
                        You can't fix stupid-Ron White


                        • #13
                          I've been lazy with working one of the horses lately because both of us need a tune-up (he needs the workout/discipline freshened up- but I need the tune-up for how the two of us go together). The last few times to the barn i've wimped out and just went on a trail ride! For me it's self discipline and planning on the exercises beforehand.

                          Even though I love, love, love going to the barn and those days are my favorite of the week... Sometimes I just want to go back to bed or spend my day off at home in my pj's... but im always happier once i get there (or maybe it takes as long as 'once i catch the horse')
                          A long drive (45 mins) adds to the feeling. But again, my favorite days of the week are those at the barn. So it's worth it!! No, you're not alone!
                          Last edited by bits619; Mar. 3, 2011, 09:18 PM. Reason: wrong word


                          • Original Poster

                            I think it has a lot to do with the effort required to change gears. Business is very stressful right now, and once I get "in the groove" of working, it's hard for me relax and walk away. Maybe it's equally hard for me to just switch gears and do another kind of "work."

                            The riding is not work. It's the prep for the riding that's work. I was looking forward to the ride, but not to the prep.

                            I also HAVE had a very tough couple of weeks here, so perhaps am just mentally stressed.

                            I had decided earlier this year that THIS is the year I am going to become the rider I want to be. I am gearing up to keep up with my own OTTB, Cooper. So, next week I am going to sit down with my trainer and make some solid goals -- things that she and I agree will be challenging to accomplish, but reasonable, attainable goals. And a plan to achieve them.

                            I think (hope) that will give me the motivation to get over the "hump" mentally, and switch gears from work/work to horse play!


                            • #15
                              I'm do glad I'm not the only one! I keep my horse at home and barely see him, let alone ride. (I have someone who does the daily feeding, mucking, etc- he's not neglected!)

                              I recently made the decision to move him to a boarding barn where I will have indoor and outdoor rings, in house shows, as well as a large amount of people to bond and ride with. While I will miss being able to see him out my window, I feel like I will actually spend more quality time with him this way. Or maybe I am just ready to throw in the towel. This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if the passion is still there.


                              • #16
                                I feel like this often. However, I'm usually pretty happy to have the lessons scheduled as they keep me on track and keep my week somewhat structured. There are many times when I otherwise wouldn't have ridden because I was tired and/or overwhelmed from work or life, but because I had that lesson scheduled, I go. And having a lesson or two to anchor my week motivates me for the other days because I want to work on stuff, or I want to hack so my horse isn't so keyed up or tense or whatever for the next time. Or because I want to forget about how much I suck at Dressage.
                                -Debbie / NH

                                My Blog: http://deborahsulli.blogspot.com/


                                • #17
                                  This happens to me too... not so much lately, but it used to happen A LOT a few years ago. (Meaning: pretty much every time I rode.) Granted, my mare was a pain in the butt to ride and I wasn't confident enough to deal with her... so it was just a hassle. But now that I can control her and she trusts me more and I also have my very easy going gelding to ride, I try to ride as much as possible! It's just fun now! Though I must admit that it has been a bit hard for me to go work the horses lately because of the weather. I need to get back into the swing of things and realize that spring is on it's way and the horses want to get out and stretch their legs!
                                  http://www.youtube.com/user/NBChoice http://nbchoice.blogspot.com/
                                  The New Banner's Choice- 1994 ASB Mare
                                  Dennis The Menace Too- 1999 ASB Gelding
                                  Dreamacres Sublime- 2008 ASB Gelding


                                  • #18
                                    I feel like that sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like sitting on the couch and reading or watching tv. To be honest, though, it is good for me to get out. I usually feel better after I've had a lesson or dinner with a friend or a walk. Before I go, though, I have lazy feelings all of the time. I try to push myself, at least a little bit, to do things.


                                    • #19
                                      Oh this definitely happens to me! Moreso in the winter, sometimes in the summer, and rarely in the spring and fall. I am not a big cold weather fan, so the prospect of pulling on all the layers and going to the barn, when it's cold and dark and icy and snowy, is just...ugh. It is very easy to find excuses not to go to the barn in winter. But, like everyone else, once I'm there I'm a lot more motivated.

                                      Sometimes in the hot hot days of summer I don't feel like riding, but I usually still want to go to the barn and bathe my horse and handgraze or something. It's the winter that is the hardest for me because I never feel like doing ANYTHING. I've been terrible this winter especially. I've spent more time sacked out on the couch than I ever remember doing. I've also been very tired all the time this winter. When I'm fighting to stay awake at my desk at 2 pm, the thought of riding is exhausting. My motivation has been creeping back though, especially this past week. It's starting to get a little warmer, it's sunnier, it's almost Daylight Savings!!! and I'm hoping come spring my energy and motivation will be up.

                                      I don't ever remember feeling unmotivated to ride when I was a kid though. It's something that came on with adulthood.


                                      • #20
                                        For me it has everything to do with the temperature. If it's 30 or lower it's really hard for me to get motivated to go spend hours in the barn. I actually love grooming and tacking up. It's just the dang COLD! As soon as it's warmer my whole attitude changes.

                                        Sometimes it's better not even to think about it.. just do it! Before you know it you're having fun and you skipped all the hemming and hawwing part of things

                                        Good Luck! But yeah.. I think we all go through this sometimes!
                                        2016 RRP Makeover Competitor www.EnviousBid.com