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CL Ad of the Day - Resurrected & Updated

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  • #81
    Originally posted by FLeventer View Post

    This one makes me roll my eyes. She may be in foal, is hard to catch, but at least she rides little children around:
    I swear I am going to be crying from laughter by the end of the day but this one had me in near tears.. WTF>? That is soooo funny
    Draumr Hesta Farm
    "Wenn Du denkst es geht nicht mehr, kommt von irgendwo ein kleines Licht daher"
    Member of the COTH Ignorant Disrepectful F-bombs!*- 2Dogs Farm

    Comment


    • #82
      Originally posted by Nootka View Post
      I swear I am going to be crying from laughter by the end of the day but this one had me in near tears.. WTF>? That is soooo funny
      I had to read it twice and then burst out laughing when I read the ad.
      I am on my phone 90% of the time. Please ignore typos, misplaced lower case letters, and the random word butchered by autocowreck.

      Comment


      • #83
        only wish I had one to add, but wanted you guys to know: daughter is home sick....and I've been reading these and calling them out across the hall while we both squirt tears laughing. Its been a fun pick me up. THANKS!
        (I think for me the funniest was the gorilla gelding...already deformed)
        ayrabz
        "Indecision may or may not be my problem"
        --Jimmy Buffett

        Comment


        • #84
          Ok this ad is quite amusing, but not for the normal reasons. It's actually well written!

          http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/grd/3510541964.html
          runnjump86 Instagram

          Horse Junkies United guest blogger

          Comment


          • #85
            Originally posted by runNjump86 View Post
            Ok this ad is quite amusing, but not for the normal reasons. It's actually well written!

            http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/grd/3510541964.html

            Need to save this one for posterity! Just in case someone has a spectacularly trained rhino...

            In need of a boring riding horse - $300 (Las Vegas)
            I have just unloaded a "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" of a horse, but need a calm, gentle horse to ride through my neighborhood when I pony my colt.

            Calm/Gentle/Boring does NOT mean:
            30 years old, dead, swaybacked, untrained, 3 legs, has navicular, blind, deaf, or it's really a burro.

            It DOES mean:

            Prefer a gelding, between 10 and 15. Safe. Has been ridden through residential neighborhoods and not tossed you, bolted, reared, bucked, left you at a stop sign, left you stranded, took you 3 neighborhoods over, or has to be ridden in a full Pelham because "whoa" is not in its vocabulary.

            Price negotiable--I put $300 but for the right horse it's all negotiable.

            Please send pictures of the ACTUAL horse (not a "looks just like this!"), his or her age to the best of your knowledge (13 should not mean "actually 20"), and I'd love a pic of someone ON the horse.

            I'm 5'5, so larger than a pony. Mules OK. Spectacularly trained, rideable camel/llama/rhino possibly accepted. Gelding or mare, don't care about color or how ugly it is. Don't care about breed.

            Comment


            • #86
              There's one listed on our local horse sale Facebook page - Husband horse with lots of drunken trail miles

              Cracks me up. Wish there was a drunken trail ride picture to go with it!
              Only dead fish go with the flow.

              http://tommybluefoot.blogspot.com/

              Comment

              • Original Poster

                #87
                So worth bumping this up because 1) it's good for laffs to re-read the oldies; and 2) because I just keep finding more!~

                NW Georgia CL from about 20 minutes ago: "gilded horse for sale. -- I have a gilded horse for sale. Can be rode. Very beautiful horse. Contact me on my cell"


                ****

                Hmmm, gilded in gold, bronze or silver?
                <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                Comment


                • #88
                  I saw an ad for a horse for sale including tach.
                  The virtual "woodshed" seems the only remedy for willful fools .

                  Comment


                  • #89
                    Originally posted by Joanne View Post
                    I saw an ad for a horse for sale including tach.
                    It's useful to know how many rpm your horsey is running.
                    TypaGraphics
                    Graphic Design & Websites
                    typagraphics.com

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                    • Original Poster

                      #90
                      Originally posted by downen View Post
                      It's useful to know how many rpm your horsey is running.
                      <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

                      Comment


                      • #91
                        While not poorly written (aside from the mother of all run-on sentences at the end), this ad had several things about it that I just found wrong.

                        http://charlottesville.craigslist.or...962190499.html

                        "Rare Buckskin Amer. Saddlebred Stallion (Gretna)
                        For Sale:

                        Absolutely beautiful buckskin Purebred American Saddlebred Stallion, age 10. Top Champion Sultan's Sultana/Champagne Fizz bloodlines, but does not sell with registration papers, as he is too line bred to breed safely to an ASB. His rare champagne ivory/isabella palomino sire is on premises.

                        This amazingly photogenic, stunning stallion has had 8 months of professional ground work training done by a local, now retired Arabian breeder. He has unbelievable, fluid action and ballerina-like athleticism. Comes when he is called like a dog. He is an EZ keeper, has good feet and never needed to be shod
                        .
                        This stallion does NOT relate well to men, as he was severely abused by the psychotic drunken husband of his breeder, who beat him. He responds well to an experienced female stallion handler, and is easy to work around and handle. Does not kick, bite, strike, or rear, is a big baby and not mean in any way. He responds with affection to a caring, knowing handler, but he does not trust men.

                        The American Saddlebred is a very high-strung breed, due to so much inbreeding from a small gene pool. This stallion is no exception, and if handled with care and love and he will be the greatest horse, for the right buyer, anyone could hope to find.

                        Only those with knowledge of the American Saddlebred's unique sensitivity and temperament need respond, as this rare and unique breed is not for anyone who is not Saddlebred savvy, if breaking him to saddle is the plan.

                        You do not "cowboy" this breed.

                        This stallion has strictly been a beautiful pasture ornament, for the 7 years seller has owned him.

                        100% sound with no vices. UTD on worming and vaccinations.

                        The right home for this phenomenally beautiful stallion is of paramount importance. Seller is very particular where this horse goes, and prefers him to have the freedom to run free in a good-sized pasture, with good grass, in a run-in situation, in a forever home, owned by a special owner who is looking for more than just a beautiful buckskin to call her own, but is looking for a serious, meaningful relationship with a truly unique and sensitive horse, so beautiful it takes your breath away. .

                        Photos will be taken and posted soon. "
                        "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move." -Douglas Adams

                        Comment


                        • #92
                          that woman does not want to sell that stallion, she should just marry it instead.

                          Comment


                          • #93
                            These better be some incredible pictures.

                            Comment


                            • #94
                              I have a feeling I know who that seller is, and if it's her, she does really need to sell him. And from speaking to her about it last weekend, it seems the horse does need a certain person. This is me speaking from a "rescue the PITA horses who other people have screwed the F*** up" POV.
                              ~ Shannon Hayden ~

                              Comment


                              • #95
                                Several flakes short of a bale, that one.

                                I'm betting it's a purty color, but looks like it was put together by six blind comedians.
                                “Pray, hope, and don't worry.”

                                St. Padre Pio

                                Comment


                                • #96
                                  "rare and unique breed" "does not sell with registration papers"- then why the eff is he still a stallion?! I could go on, but this is one that just makes me tired
                                  "Everyone will start to cheer, when you put on your sailin shoes"-Lowell George

                                  Comment


                                  • #97
                                    Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                                    From the N'West GA Craig's List this morning:

                                    FOR SALE-HORSE TRAILER -- 2 Horse Slant with tact room, never been used, extremely nice, BRAND NEW

                                    Hmmmm, nice to know there's one area of the trailer with diplomacy.

                                    Good to know there's a place we can go if we really need to put a leash on our tongues!
                                    America dialed 911. Donald Trump answered the phone.

                                    Stop pumping money into colleges and start getting ready to earn money in the projected tradesman shortage of 2024. Make Trades Great Again!

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                                    • #98
                                      Originally posted by babyeventer23 View Post
                                      I have known many people in the horse world that I would love to shove into a tact room.

                                      There's people in...another hobby...that I would love to take that trailer to and just keep herding them in!
                                      America dialed 911. Donald Trump answered the phone.

                                      Stop pumping money into colleges and start getting ready to earn money in the projected tradesman shortage of 2024. Make Trades Great Again!

                                      Comment


                                      • #99
                                        Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                                        Annnnnd today's offering...:

                                        I have an 11 year old quarter horse for sale she is to big and my fast for my 10 year old daughter . She needs an experenced rider she is current on her cloggings have vet papers... she loads and ties she will makr a good trail horse has been used to work cattle... i will concider trade on an older or child safe horse you can e-mail me your number

                                        Hmmm, wonder where I can sign my mare up for Clogging lessons?
                                        I'd rather sell the poster of the ad some spelling lessons... Might even take the mare in on a trade.
                                        America dialed 911. Donald Trump answered the phone.

                                        Stop pumping money into colleges and start getting ready to earn money in the projected tradesman shortage of 2024. Make Trades Great Again!

                                        Comment


                                        • Originally posted by ChocoMare View Post
                                          Had to bump this back for today's offering:

                                          I have a mare for sale. Registrated with the Pain Association.

                                          Poor mare


                                          They must take multiple species at the Pain Association, I know several people who could qualify...
                                          America dialed 911. Donald Trump answered the phone.

                                          Stop pumping money into colleges and start getting ready to earn money in the projected tradesman shortage of 2024. Make Trades Great Again!

                                          Comment

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