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does your horse cause you anxiety??

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  • does your horse cause you anxiety??

    i recently got a new horse love her to death shes everything i want in a horse shes great ill be able to do anything with her but i get to a certain point when i turn down the road and i think omg shes dead or omg shes hurt never fails its everyday ive been horseless for awhile so maybe its the having a horse again thing but im so nervous as to if it was the right choice i plan on keeping her i just dont know how to get over it???? im an avid cyclist as well so this year will kinda be the deciding factor as to if i go all out cycling or all out horses hmm thoughts
    MIDWAY SOCCER 08' First Season!!!!!!
  • Original Poster

    i should also add my most favorite horse ever died 2 yrs ago amd im not sure if im over him all the way either
    MIDWAY SOCCER 08' First Season!!!!!!


    • #3
      No, not really. But the lack of punctuation and capitalization in your post does.


      • #4
        What were the circumstances surrounding the passing of your last horse? Is there something nagging you about the care provided where your new horse is? Are you an experience horse owner? Do you worry about being able to afford emergency care for your horse should it be in need? I suggest taking a step back and evaluating what the root of your anxiety may be. There are many factors which could be playing into your worries.

        I don't own, but I leased a mare long term (3 years). I wouldn't say the situation ever cause me any anxiety.


        • Original Poster

          I have evented thru training level and I have good trainers. Ive had thoroughbreds for 10yrs now , I finished college and have a good job. The only thing i hate about my barn is the turnout but shes on tribute feeds and I buy my own hay as i dont like the hay they feed. My old horse passed after a reaction to an injection it was sudden and every time i go to the barn I expect to see my new horse dead on the ground
          MIDWAY SOCCER 08' First Season!!!!!!


          • #6
            Yah, I get anxiety. I love my boy and he has had some health ups and downs in the last few years and I definitely worry about him. The thing that keeps me OK is I know he is in a great barn with great care. Things happen, you can't stop all of them, but I feel like I am doing what I can to reduce the odds. I hope you can enjoy your new one without overdoing the worry.


            • #7
              Of course my horses cause me anxiety (granted one of them is decidedly a candidate for a bubble wrap suit). I see them out my window and have to stop myself from running up to the barn every time one of them lies down thinking "OMG Colic!"

              The first horse I purchased died three months later, twisted gut. No warning, nothing anyone could have done different. One day she was happy and we were conditioning/training to start showing in hunters, the next she was dead. I thought about swearing off horses, very seriously. It was such a horrible heartbreak, all around. The fact it happened, how much she suffered in the hours it took to get a vet out, the fact it was MY horse it happened to.

              Fortunately my now neighbor had pleanty of horses that needed riding, and my friends encouraged me to keep at it.

              I still get those horrible "What if something happens?" moments, but even with the gut wrenching "Why is he doing that? What if they get into something while I'm at work?" moments, personally I'd rather have the good times that go along with it. They don't live forever, I've accepted this now, but it would be terrible to miss out on all the good time I can have with them for the fear of what bad may happen.
              Owned by a Paint/TB and an OTTB.
              RIP Scoutin' For Trouble ~ 2011 at 10
              RIP Tasha's Last Tango ~ 2010 at ~23
              RIP In Sha' Allah ~ 2009 too young at 5


              • #8
                Anxiety queen here. I feel your pain. Do you suffer from an anxiety disorder? I do, and it gets REALLY hard to control with the horses sometimes. But once I started to get my generalized anxiety under control, worrying about the horses occurred less. I still freak out occasionally and have very irrational thoughts, but thankfully I have friends and my barnmates who know me and can calm me down and help me remember what rational thought is. And I've been through enough emergencies and emergencies that turned out to be non-emergencies to have a better handle on when it's really "time to freak out" time.

                I left my two eldest behind when I moved 450 miles away because I love the barn where they live, but it was VERY hard for me (I've had them for 17 and 11 years respectively). My biggest fear was the "There's a serious problem" call from the BO. It happened 6 months after I moved, on a Tuesday night. My horse spent 3 months in the hospital, I was seconds away from euthanizing a couple times, but he pulled through. It has been hard, traveling back and forth, not being active in his care or seeing him every day while he's been in the hospital, but it taught me to let go and trust the people taking care of him. I'm flying up in three days to bring him back home to his brother. So the emergency situations don't always end poorly. I try to remember that.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by elmerandharriet View Post
                  I have evented thru training level and I have good trainers. Ive had thoroughbreds for 10yrs now , I finished college and have a good job. The only thing i hate about my barn is the turnout but shes on tribute feeds and I buy my own hay as i dont like the hay they feed. My old horse passed after a reaction to an injection it was sudden and every time i go to the barn I expect to see my new horse dead on the ground
                  I'm sorry to hear you lost your horse that way I was just trying to figure out which point of view you were coming from. As the above posters have said, there are just somethings you can't control. You (hopefully) can gain a piece of mind having people you trust care for your mare and by providing her with a safe and happy environment to live in.

                  I hope you can gain some closure on the passing on your previous horse so that you can really enjoy being with your new mare.
                  Last edited by Wylie Coyote; Feb. 12, 2011, 10:46 PM. Reason: typo


                  • #10
                    Well...no, but I don't have an anxiety disorder per se and I'm supposed to work on the not being anxious thing. (I'm a hypochondriac and in the past have been known to MAKE myself sick. I'm not supposed to think about things like that.) If something happens, something happens. In my case I know the BO will let me know if he so much as has a sniffle or a scratch, which makes it a lot easier not to worry--they are the kind who treat all the horses like their own.
                    Author Page
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                    • #11
                      I think stressing over my horse has taken several years off of my life. Seriously. I need to not stress, but I haven't figure out how to do that. I just moved her to a new place and it has been harder on me than it is on her.
                      Foaling Around www.facebook.com/foalingaround
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by elmerandharriet View Post
                        i should also add my most favorite horse ever died 2 yrs ago and im not sure if im over him all the way either
                        the brief story of your horses passing sounds very traumatizing.
                        I don't know about your horses, but mine are family. Losing Happytalk was worse than when my grandparents passed. If you feel you are struggling with the grief and loss, go talk to a professional about it. They are amazing creatures that touch our lives more than we realize. Allow yourself the courtesy to explore your feelings and move forward so you can enjoy your new family member.
                        chaque pas est fait ensemble


                        • #13
                          With your previous horse passing so suddenly and unexpectedly (and really not that long ago), I think it is probably natural that you would fear losing your current horse. And no-one can truthfully say your worry is unfounded. Horses can and do become ill or injured, often in very unusual ways. If this horse is new to you, it may just be a matter of giving yourself enough time to relax into horse ownership again.

                          If the anxiety causing you to behave in ways detrimental to you or your horse, I would be inclined to look at it as something you have to accept about yourself. Are you by nature a worrier in other aspects of your life? If it is bothering you, perhaps you can recite a litany of things you do to give your horse the best possible chance of avoiding illness or injury as you feel the anxiety rising. You cannot prepare for all the vagaries of the universe, but it sounds like you are doing well by your horse.
                          Equinox Equine Massage

                          In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me invincible summer.
                          -Albert Camus


                          • #14
                            I don't have an anxiety disorder but I am kind of a worry wart so yes, sometimes I worry needlessly, especially over things that are out of my control.

                            I've recently moved my horse to a new barn that is much safer than the old one and I'm still running possible disasters through my head. I think after I'm there a little longer that will slow down a lot, it's just an adjustment period for me.

                            The way you lost your last horse was traumatic, I can understand why you're worried. Hopefully as you get used to horse ownership again your anxiety will decrease.

                            If you ever have children just wait until you turn your 16 year old loose with a car for the first time. Took years off my life.
                            "Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple” – Barry Switzer


                            • #15
                              Losing a friend is never easy. We grieve and think of them always. But to be realistic in life, unless you keep tortoises or parrots chances are you are going to outlive your animals. Not to be harsh but if the pain of loss is too much, stick to your cycling or take up tennis.

                              You can be safe and not risk a broken heart or you can let the joy horses bring into your life.
                              Groom to trainer: "Where's the glamour? You promised me glamour!"


                              • #16
                                I was having major problems with this at my last barn. Things were crazy there and not safe. I often felt like I was going to throw up when I was pulling in the driveway. Since moving to a new farm, I'm free from that.

                                What don't you like about turnout at this barn? Are there real issues to be worried about? Like a fence that will fall down if you look at it the wrong way -- or is it a fear of some really random event, like the situation with your last horse?

                                I found that it was hanging over my head all the time that my horse was not in a safe place and it would be completely my fault if something horrible happened to him. Caused a lot of anxiety and depression. I honestly feel now, like if something terrible happened to him, at least I have done all I can to ensure he's safe (i.e. it won't be my fault).
                                Why must you chastise my brilliant idea with facts and logic? **picks up toys (and wine) and goes home**


                                • Original Poster

                                  I do have an anxiety problem i took ativan for a long time... Im fine when im there but its the instant i leave or arrive. Im going to give it til june and if its the same ill cycle i cant stay this away. My horse was my fav. horse my parents got him for me when i found out i couldnt have kids so he was my child for 9 yrs I took a year off and rode other peoples horses that doesnt bother me. I was actually shopping with a friend when i found this one and we clicked I think theres a good chance we can get along but if i worry myself sick its not worth it...
                                  MIDWAY SOCCER 08' First Season!!!!!!