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Am I lazy and ridiculous? How to be a grown up with horses?

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  • #41
    Am I lazy and ridiculous?
    I don't think so. It sounds like you can't find ANY job right now, much less one that will pay well and let you work 30-35 hours/week.

    If you want to work in the food service business for now or even longer, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. My niece has been in that position for 3+ years, thanks to the economy.

    As long as you're not expecting someone else (e.g., Uncle Sam) to take care of you and your horses, do what you want.
    __________________________
    "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
    the best day in ten years,
    you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."

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    • #42
      Originally posted by Trixie View Post
      Furthermore, horses are a luxury item. I realize a lot of us don't think that way, but they are.
      Yup. And a job is a necessity. And in my life, benefits and retirement are also a necessity. I took a break from "the real world" one year in favor of horses. Then I realised that I was neglecting other parts of my life (like financial security, benefits and spending cash). It took me that much longer to get my act back together, pay off the debt and get ahead. Was it worth it? I sure didn't think so when I was scrambling around getting out of the hole. But looking back, I have fond memories.

      OP, you are not necessarily lazy and ridiculous. You may be going through a phase. It doesn't need to be a permanent phase. When you decide it's time to "grow up" are you going to want to pay the price? Because there may be one.

      Comment


      • #43
        Originally posted by betsyk View Post
        I will throw out one thought (and then run for cover!) -- if the OP had posted saying that she was considering going back to waitressing because she needed the flexible schedule to be home for her kids after school, she would have had people rallying around her to put her family first. But because she wants to ride, she got a very different set of comments. I might have expected that from a non-horse forum but I was surprised to hear it here.

        Not necessarily, I've seen it mentioned that it can be difficult to get a job in some fields when you have been out of it for a while and she probably would have a SO who had a job
        I wasn't always a Smurf
        Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
        "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
        The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.

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        • #44
          I don't know. On the one hand, it sounds like there is a maturity issue at hand here, yet on the other, with the economic climate being what it is, and the lack of information we have about the OP, I don't think it's really going to make a hill of beans which way she goes at the moment.

          We don't know if she is living at home with parents who are more than happy to have it that way; we don't know if she is still on their insurance policy, which may be fine with them, too. We don't know her age, what degree this is, if she just went to college to get some degree and had no interest in pursuing a job in that field of study, or if the degree is even marketable in today's workplace. We also don't know the economic climate in her locale, or if she is even being pushed to find a job in her field. I know of parents who had no problem supporting their children into their mid-thirties, and resented anyone advising them differently. She doesn't seem too concerned with supporting the horse habit, so given everything we don't know here, I would say be my guest and go on waiting tables if that is what floats your boat. In reality, it may be the only job she is able to get with the economic climate as it is, and would at least cover the bills until something better comes along.

          On the other hand... if she is over the age of 26 and cannot be on her parent's insurance policy, has a marketable degree in a field she likes, and is the one footing her horse habit, housing, board and lifestyle bills, then it is time to get a heads up and get a job where she can at least make ends meet and be insured. Because she is not invincible, accidents do happen, and hospital bills can be crushing.
          "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

          http://s1098.photobucket.com/albums/...2011%20Photos/

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          • #45
            Originally posted by MistyBlue View Post
            I worked in the restaurant business for ages. Did it to support my horse habit mostly.

            Only then I had to grow up. Lack of health benefits + horses isn't the world's greatets mix. Especially if you have them home and do all the work yourself.

            Yes, you can work 8-5 and still ride. No, you won't die if you can't ride every day.
            Your horses will definitely appreciate the down time if they get any.
            You can still ride, spring is coming and it will be light longer. A couple months of weekend riding with only a tune up ride 1-2 times per week isn't the end of the world.

            I personally wouldn't go without a solid steady income and health/benefits just so riding more often is easier. It's not like you have to choose between an 8-5 job and your horses. It just means the 8-5 job won't make it as easy to hop on whenever you'd like.
            THIS. IMO, It's a realistic, respectful and encouraging response- with the PP's honest opinion on what they would do.

            I have a 'crappy' 'fake' job, which i'm staying in currently for a few reasons: 1)health care is fantastic with this company, 2)"full time" minimum hours are fewer than every other job i've heard of (I can work 3 long days a week during the spring and summer and maintain full-time status).

            The health benefits and full-time requirements may be changing for the worse very soon, and if so I'll be job searching. I won't like it, but I will be.

            I'm STILL embarrassed to tell some people what I do because it sounds like a kid's job- in fact most people I interact with think i'm in high school- or college at the most (I graduated college over 2 years ago) and they ALL ask if i'm looking for "a real job".... that sort of comment is hard to shake off. But I'm getting lots of practice in letting comments roll off my back- and for the two reasons above, my job IS working for me at the moment.

            It will be hard to accustom myself to a new job (because I don't plan on doing this forever, and will eventually be moving away) with more standard hours... BUT I know "grown-up jobs" are realistic, so many people have them (and ride, too), and I'm hoping I'll just be able to find something "grown-up" which I enjoy.
            Or I could win the lottery. But i think you first need to buy tickets for that to happen...
            Last edited by bits619; Feb. 8, 2011, 06:28 PM. Reason: clarity :)

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            • #46
              I can't figure out from the OP if the OP can't find any job in her field or if she can't find a job in her field with the hours she wants.

              OP, if you can't find any job in your field at this time with any hours...then by all means go back into restaurants. In many different types of restaurants you can make a very decent income. Do be careful about where you apply though, the economy means some restaurants have less customers and other restaurants might be staying busy but the customers are tipping less. So when interviewing, ask about the shift totals. Also be aware that this time of year is no-man's land tighten-the-belt times for most restaurants. After New Years and until early spring business typically falls very low for many restaurants.

              It can be a great income with nice hours. I supported multiple horses and showing on it for years. Problem was health care/etc. One doctor bill can make you go from doing fine to living in a stall with your horse. (or selling your horses) And when your other job is training the problem ponies...you get doctor bills.

              If you're having a hard time finding a job in your field due to the hours you want...have you tried getting creative? Job sharing? Split shifts? Asking to work part of the hours from home if possible? (some employers encourage this, cuts costs for them too)

              If these aren't possible or you can't find them...plenty of people work a 9-5 type job and still find plenty of time to ride. You just schedule for it and make the time. There'll be an adjustment period, but then you get into the swing of things no problem. You learn how to budget time. Most horse people work full time, usually days. And they still ride.
              You jump in the saddle,
              Hold onto the bridle!
              Jump in the line!
              ...Belefonte

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              • #47
                "I am about to lose my job with fantastic hours because the company was bought out by another company out of state, and they are moving operations over there. "

                she is going to lose her job. It's not that she's decided to quit this one and throw her benes out the window.

                "I am applying for jobs that I am totally qualified for, but nothing!! It's VERY discouraging.

                I have tried and tried, but I just can't talk myself into working a regular 8-5 job."

                well there is your answer. I think. Maybe. Have you even been offered an 8-5 job? Have you looked at working p/t for two companies instead of one job for one company?

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                • #48
                  Work the server job until you find what you want. That is being neither lazy nor ridiculous, just pragmatic and proactive.
                  "Rock n' roll's not through, yeah, I'm sewing wings on this thing." --Destroyer
                  http://dressagescriblog.wordpress.com/

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                  • #49
                    Originally posted by Unknown 3 View Post
                    I am about to lose my job with fantastic hours because the company was bought out by another company out of state, and they are moving operations over there. Right now I work 30-35 hrs/week so I can usually leave in time to ride in the evenings. I have searched/applied/sent resumes, etc to tons of places that interested me and gotten no responses (except a few from the Craigslist killers who probably also wanted to steal my identity) I am applying for jobs that I am totally qualified for, but nothing!! It's VERY discouraging.

                    I have tried and tried, but I just can't talk myself into working a regular 8-5 job. When would I ride during the week??? Horses live at home and I have no arena and def no arena lights!

                    Soooo, I want to go back to being a server. I could make as much or more as I do now, and the restaurant schedule allows at least 4 mornings or evenings a week for riding.

                    If my grandfather were alive now he would be unhappy about this. He did not pay for my college degree just so I could be a waitress. I should probably suck it up and get a better "grown up" job, but I just can't make myself do it at this stage of my life.

                    I guess I am looking for approval. Any other riders do something similar?
                    Lazy?? Hahahaha. Working as a server was probably harder than any other physical demanding job I have ever had (groom at the track, landscaping, etc etc).

                    Considering I am preparing to do something similar (with the proper preparation prior ie, paying off all pertinent debt) when the time comes soon this year, I have to give you the thumbs up For myself, working on the road and being away weeks at a time is difficult on relationships and has taken its toll on my horses (in my case, they are only going to be so young and capable of accomplishing what I want so long - the time to start acting is now). My course of action is to continue working p/t in my current industry but in a different field to maintain my qualifications, meanwhile further my education in a somewhat different direction now for a different career down the road, and meanwhile work as a server or such (something that actually pays the bills) as I invest more time into my relationship and horses.

                    Continue to search and apply to jobs you are qualified for so your degree does not go to waste, keep your hand in your chosen career/industry in any way and as much as possible, and work as a server in the mean time! That way you are satisfied short-term and can find something appropriate and that you really want, long-term.

                    "Work to live, do not live to work." It is certainly a fine balance but one has to invest more in life than work. Do what makes you happy while ensuring as much as possible you have a promising future.

                    ETA: Love Camstock's Hellen Keller quote as well as the quote below:
                    "Go for the ideal. You'll be surprised how the Universe supports those who believe in their dreams"
                    Last edited by naturalequus; Feb. 8, 2011, 11:43 PM.
                    ....horses should be trained in such a way that they not only love their riders, but look forward to the time they are with them.
                    ~ Xenophon, 350 B.C.

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                    • #50
                      Really great post, danceronice.

                      Comment


                      • #51
                        Is it that you cannot find a job in your field at all or that you can't find one with a flexible schedule? If it's the latter, I'd advise you to suck it up and find a job with a standard schedule...THEN prove yourself for a while and, when you sense your boss finds you valuable and trustworthy, ask for a non-standard schedule. That's what I did when I was out of work. I had a young child and didn't want to have him in daycare full-time, I HAD had a job that allowed a flex schedule and some working from home. Expecting to get that right out of the gate at a new employer is expecting too much. So, son went to FT daycare and, after I was at my new job for a year and he was starting kindergarten, I asked for 7:00am to 3:00pm hours and one day a week working from home and got the OK. It works for both the child and the riding.

                        It won't be dark so early much longer, daylights savings time comes back in March. You'd be able to ride after work all spring, summer and into the fall and maybe, by the time the days get short again, you'll be in a position to ask a new employer for some flex hours...even if it's only a few days a week. Short term pain for long term gain.

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                        • #52
                          FWIW there are companies that offer benefits to qualified part time workers. Starbucks is one
                          I wasn't always a Smurf
                          Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
                          "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
                          The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.

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                          • #53
                            I'd say that all this depends on the OP's age.

                            A lot has changed for me since the 2008 meltdown. I look back now at the "irresponsible" time in my 20s I spent working to support a great, horse-centric chapter in my life. Yes, I went to school and worked and had benefits. But I didn't do "the right thing" and build a big enough IRA or buy a house. Watching the 55 year olds who had done so much right freak out as the value of their real estate and stock portfolios plummet, I was glad I had done what I did. These people were scared and justifiably pissed in an existential way. I'm not so bitter, and I find it easier to be charitable.

                            I don't think what held in my grandfather's era holds anymore. You won't give years of service to one company and be rewarded with pay or modest financial security later. Knowing that's true is the best you can do. You just have to accept that your life experience--now and later-- is all yours to shape and protect.

                            Oh, and a little rant. All of you who point out that you don't want to pay for the OP's decisions later-- not going on the dole. We are (and will be) paying for many people who made good and bad decisions about managing their careers and finances. The people who bought "too much house" and are defaulting on those loans are costing everyone much more than the OP choosing to take a short-term job and pouring that money back into the economy in the form of post-tax dollars paid for the upkeep of horses.
                            The armchair saddler
                            Politically Pro-Cat

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                            • #54
                              Oh, and a little rant. All of you who point out that you don't want to pay for the OP's decisions later-- not going on the dole. We are (and will be) paying for many people who made good and bad decisions about managing their careers and finances. The people who bought "too much house" and are defaulting on those loans are costing everyone much more than the OP choosing to take a short-term job and pouring that money back into the economy in the form of post-tax dollars paid for the upkeep of horses.
                              I don't understand why anyone would willfully add to that debacle.

                              If the OP has a long term plan to go into her field in the long run, great. If the plan is to just wait tables forever, I might respectfully (having been there, done it) suggest another route. If the OP cannot find a job, any job is generally better than no job.
                              ---
                              They're small hearts.

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                              • #55
                                I read that OP feels bad about not using the education her family invested in. She didn't say she would be passing on her responsibilities. I am assuming() she has her basic obligations met-otherwise, there would be no dilemma.

                                Maybe, financially, she doesn't ned to "suck it up". Perhaps she is now in a position that a part time job is adaquate.

                                Honey, if you are "of a certain age" and can afford it, RIDE every second you can.

                                From my side of 50, I can tell you it becomes more precious every day.
                                Last edited by lesson junkie; Feb. 9, 2011, 11:24 AM. Reason: Clarity

                                Comment


                                • #56
                                  Does anyone else wonder if this thread scared off OP, or if OP was just a troll?

                                  OP, I u r still here, I'm a fulltime recruiter to support my family n allow mike to ruun my lifes work, the rescue.

                                  Just wanted to share a touch of advice. As a recruiter, I want to know u r pasionate about something....BUTTTTTT...if u give me the impression, even a glimpse, that u will b a clockwatcher who has a case of resenteeism: every nice day, I m going to set u aside with a dozen othet 'tier 2' candidated and look for someone who is excited for the opportunity, more than just worried about the hours.
                                  AnnMarie Cross, Pres, Crosswinds Equine Rescue, cwer.org
                                  Sidell IL (near Champ./UofI/Danville IL/IN state border)

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                                  • #57
                                    Originally posted by carolprudm View Post
                                    FWIW there are companies that offer benefits to qualified part time workers. Starbucks is one

                                    I work for a bank that pays wonderful benefits for our part time employees. So yes, benefitted p/t positions exist!

                                    Comment


                                    • #58
                                      I spent years horseless/broke/working full time while being a full time student to get a degree/experience that allowed me to get my dream job- totally flexible hours, work from home several days a week, full benefits; of course the downside is that with flexible hours instead of putting in your 40 a week and stopping you find you generally you end up working more than 50+ hours a week, and it pays about half of that of the traditional job one would expect someone with my qualifications to have sought out. But I don't care, it pays enough to support my life and the freedom from the grind of commute/set hours is priceless.

                                      Comment


                                      • #59
                                        This has got to be a troll....it's such a lazy spoiled brat description.

                                        Good grief...poor baby just can't make herself work a full day, can't find a guy stupid enough to let her play all day long while he supports her lifestyle (same way gramps did in school).

                                        Oh well....what a stereotype for a useless pretend adult. If someone else is working a real job so you can play at life doing something that doesn't pay the bills...e.g. I'm an instructor several days a week, I run a rescue that doesn't break even, I'm an artist and feel so fulfilled. All these are children who depend on another adult (jeeze, change that to
                                        "an" vs. another adult" since they don't qualify) to be responsible and pay their way. "But I feel so fulfilled and if my SO really Luvs me, my being happy is enough for them"...and other BS comes to mind.

                                        To the original poster...enjoy being a waitress and later in your career a greeter at Walmart...but hey, the hours are great.
                                        "Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc"

                                        Comment


                                        • #60
                                          Originally posted by Trixie View Post
                                          I don't understand why anyone would willfully add to that debacle.

                                          If the OP has a long term plan to go into her field in the long run, great. If the plan is to just wait tables forever, I might respectfully (having been there, done it) suggest another route. If the OP cannot find a job, any job is generally better than no job.
                                          If the OP is working as a server, she's still paying FICA (unless the employer's hiring under the table) meaning she's as entitled to what she'll get in payouts later as any of the rest of us (and since most of us in twenties and thirties aren't going to get a dime despite paying in thousands, it doesn't really matter anyway.)

                                          That's another thing--people are talking like she can just find a "better" job than serving. Uh, yeah, good luck with that! If she can find a decent job waiting tables she's ahead of a lot of people in this job market. I'd actually be consdering where the new company is moving to and seeing if they'd take employees--unless it's like moving from, say, Alabama to New York (where the difference in expenses would make it impossible) is it totally out of the question to move with the job? You can have horses in every state, it's allowed.
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