• Welcome to the Chronicle Forums.
    Please complete your profile. The forums and the rest of www.chronofhorse.com has single sign-in, so your log in information for one will automatically work for the other. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Chronicle of the Horse.

Announcement

Collapse

Forum rules and no-advertising policy

As a participant on this forum, it is your responsibility to know and follow our rules. Please read this message in its entirety.

Board Rules

1. You’re responsible for what you say.
As outlined in Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, The Chronicle of the Horse and its affiliates, as well Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd., the developers of vBulletin, are not legally responsible for statements made in the forums.

This is a public forum viewed by a wide spectrum of people, so please be mindful of what you say and who might be reading it—details of personal disputes are likely better handled privately. While posters are legally responsible for their statements, the moderators may in their discretion remove or edit posts that violate these rules. Users have the ability to modify or delete their own messages after posting, but administrators generally will not delete posts, threads or accounts upon request.

Outright inflammatory, vulgar, harassing, malicious or otherwise inappropriate statements and criminal charges unsubstantiated by a reputable news source or legal documentation will not be tolerated and will be dealt with at the discretion of the moderators.

Credible threats of suicide will be reported to the police along with identifying user information at our disposal, in addition to referring the user to suicide helpline resources such as 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK.

2. Conversations in horse-related forums should be horse-related.
The forums are a wonderful source of information and support for members of the horse community. While it’s understandably tempting to share information or search for input on other topics upon which members might have a similar level of knowledge, members must maintain the focus on horses.

3. Keep conversations productive, on topic and civil.
Discussion and disagreement are inevitable and encouraged; personal insults, diatribes and sniping comments are unproductive and unacceptable. Whether a subject is light-hearted or serious, keep posts focused on the current topic and of general interest to other participants of that thread. Utilize the private message feature or personal email where appropriate to address side topics or personal issues not related to the topic at large.

4. No advertising in the discussion forums.
Posts in the discussion forums directly or indirectly advertising horses, jobs, items or services for sale or wanted will be removed at the discretion of the moderators. Use of the private messaging feature or email addresses obtained through users’ profiles for unsolicited advertising is not permitted.

Company representatives may participate in discussions and answer questions about their products or services, or suggest their products on recent threads if they fulfill the criteria of a query. False "testimonials" provided by company affiliates posing as general consumers are not appropriate, and self-promotion of sales, ad campaigns, etc. through the discussion forums is not allowed.

Paid advertising is available on our classifieds site and through the purchase of banner ads. The tightly monitored Giveaways forum permits free listings of genuinely free horses and items available or wanted (on a limited basis). Items offered for trade are not allowed.

Advertising Policy Specifics
When in doubt of whether something you want to post constitutes advertising, please contact a moderator privately in advance for further clarification. Refer to the following points for general guidelines:

Horses – Only general discussion about the buying, leasing, selling and pricing of horses is permitted. If the post contains, or links to, the type of specific information typically found in a sales or wanted ad, and it’s related to a horse for sale, regardless of who’s selling it, it doesn’t belong in the discussion forums.

Stallions – Board members may ask for suggestions on breeding stallion recommendations. Stallion owners may reply to such queries by suggesting their own stallions, only if their horse fits the specific criteria of the original poster. Excessive promotion of a stallion by its owner or related parties is not permitted and will be addressed at the discretion of the moderators.

Services – Members may use the forums to ask for general recommendations of trainers, barns, shippers, farriers, etc., and other members may answer those requests by suggesting themselves or their company, if their services fulfill the specific criteria of the original post. Members may not solicit other members for business if it is not in response to a direct, genuine query.

Products – While members may ask for general opinions and suggestions on equipment, trailers, trucks, etc., they may not list the specific attributes for which they are in the market, as such posts serve as wanted ads.

Event Announcements – Members may post one notification of an upcoming event that may be of interest to fellow members, if the original poster does not benefit financially from the event. Such threads may not be “bumped” excessively. Premium members may post their own notices in the Event Announcements forum.

Charities/Rescues – Announcements for charitable or fundraising events can only be made for 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organizations. Special exceptions may be made, at the moderators’ discretion and direction, for board-related events or fundraising activities in extraordinary circumstances.

Occasional posts regarding horses available for adoption through IRS-registered horse rescue or placement programs are permitted in the appropriate forums, but these threads may be limited at the discretion of the moderators. Individuals may not advertise or make announcements for horses in need of rescue, placement or adoption unless the horse is available through a recognized rescue or placement agency or government-run entity or the thread fits the criteria for and is located in the Giveaways forum.

5. Do not post copyrighted photographs unless you have purchased that photo and have permission to do so.

6. Respect other members.
As members are often passionate about their beliefs and intentions can easily be misinterpreted in this type of environment, try to explore or resolve the inevitable disagreements that arise in the course of threads calmly and rationally.

If you see a post that you feel violates the rules of the board, please click the “alert” button (exclamation point inside of a triangle) in the bottom left corner of the post, which will alert ONLY the moderators to the post in question. They will then take whatever action, or no action, as deemed appropriate for the situation at their discretion. Do not air grievances regarding other posters or the moderators in the discussion forums.

Please be advised that adding another user to your “Ignore” list via your User Control Panel can be a useful tactic, which blocks posts and private messages by members whose commentary you’d rather avoid reading.

7. We have the right to reproduce statements made in the forums.
The Chronicle of the Horse may copy, quote, link to or otherwise reproduce posts, or portions of posts, in print or online for advertising or editorial purposes, if attributed to their original authors, and by posting in this forum, you hereby grant to The Chronicle of the Horse a perpetual, non-exclusive license under copyright and other rights, to do so.

8. We reserve the right to enforce and amend the rules.
The moderators may delete, edit, move or close any post or thread at any time, or refrain from doing any of the foregoing, in their discretion, and may suspend or revoke a user’s membership privileges at any time to maintain adherence to the rules and the general spirit of the forum. These rules may be amended at any time to address the current needs of the board.

Please see our full Terms of Service and Privacy Policy for more information.

Thanks for being a part of the COTH forums!

(Revised 2/8/18)
See more
See less

Am I lazy and ridiculous? How to be a grown up with horses?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #21
    I had a co-worker who would go to the barn every morning at 6:00am to ride before she got to the office at 8:00. Maybe you need to think about re-arranging your riding schedule. As for being a server, there's no shame in that, but not much future, either. At best you'll end up an old (versus a young) 70 year old with vericose veins and no retirement savings.

    StG

    Comment


    • #22
      I worked in the restaurant business for ages. Did it to support my horse habit mostly.

      Only then I had to grow up. Lack of health benefits + horses isn't the world's greatets mix. Especially if you have them home and do all the work yourself.

      Yes, you can work 8-5 and still ride. No, you won't die if you can't ride every day.
      Your horses will definitely appreciate the down time if they get any.
      You can still ride, spring is coming and it will be light longer. A couple months of weekend riding with only a tune up ride 1-2 times per week isn't the end of the world.

      I personally wouldn't go without a solid steady income and health/benefits just so riding more often is easier. It's not like you have to choose between an 8-5 job and your horses. It just means the 8-5 job won't make it as easy to hop on whenever you'd like.
      You jump in the saddle,
      Hold onto the bridle!
      Jump in the line!
      ...Belefonte

      Comment


      • #23
        Originally posted by trubandloki View Post
        If you can make enough money to support your financial obligations as a server then go for it. There is no rule that you have to work in the field you went to school for.

        I do think it is kind of a pipe dream to want a job that will allow you to ride during the day. Those are few and far between.
        Except that she feels an obligation to live by her grandfather's standards since he financed her education.

        OP, you just have to think through what is best for you long term and I think your grandfather would agree. These are very difficult times but I imagine he also went through very tough times. Perhaps you need to think about what is going to make you happy in the long term which may have more to do with trying to make this country a better place to live than being happy with horses. As it says in the good book regarding putting away childish things. I am going through this very thing right now and am far older than you. I either have to go back to school or take a really menial job. Fortunately I have the choice. So many do not and are really suffering. Being happy in a depression while others are going hungry or homeless is an illusion unless you are very selfish.
        "We, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit." JFK

        Comment


        • #24
          I work 8:30-5 five days a week, take care of horses at home, and still manage to ride 6-7 times a week. When there isn't snow on the ground, I'm riding at least two horses a night and ride well into when it's dark. I don't jump in the dark (obviously!), but it works just fine. During the winter months, when there is snow on the ground, I add an extra commute to a boarding facility where I keep the one mount who I keep in work so I can use the indoor. I prioritize my finances to make this possible.

          I don't see an 8-5 job as something that inhibits still being able to ride...you just have to want it bad enough. I'm only 22, and I think it would be an incredibly immature and unwise move to purposely choose a non-career, poor/no benefits job just so you could have more time to play with ponies. The job market rots right now, so I understand many people HAVE TO take jobs like waitress positions so they can continue to have an income. This isn't your case.
          "Last time I picked your feet, you broke my toe!"

          Comment


          • #25
            Oddly enough, I think we are saying the same thing. Work yes, support yourself absolutely, but keep the eye on the ideal life, see it, and go after it in small ways every day. And some days in big ways. Be bold. Keep knocking on the door.

            If you don't agree that we are agreeing, that's ok too. I'm off this thread.
            http://www.camstock.net/

            Comment


            • #26
              Originally posted by Camstock View Post
              Wow, I didn't say "freeload" I said the Universe "supports". The support is usually opportunity. Opportunities often come disguised as work. So what if that isn't at a desk.

              Consider the option of cheering up. :-)

              Edited to add: Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey didn't do work they hated and they have done a fair bit of good in this world...
              They have?
              "We, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit." JFK

              Comment


              • #27
                Eh. There's no such thing as a secure position with a good company any more, and no one should be leaving retirement funding up to company-related benefits anyway. Buy an IRA, don't count on a company giving you a 401k.

                Whatever work you can get that will keep you fiancially solvent. Degrees are not always especially helpful. Personally, I'd find serving too stressful and reliant on tips (unless you're in a very high-end fine dining place where waitstaff is practically a profession) but if it works for you and keeps you from defaulting on mortages/rent or being unable to feed yourself or the animals, whatever makes you happy.
                Author Page
                Like Omens In the Night on Facebook
                Steampunk Sweethearts

                Comment


                • #28
                  Are your skills compatible with working for yourself? Check out www.wahm.com (work at home moms - no scams, good solid info about flexible positions) for both self employment and employed kinds of work.

                  It is also possible to have your own retirement plan even if you are a server. Talk to a trusted bank or financial planner and they will help you set up an IRA or other plan. Very few people have a defined pension plan any more, so you'll have an IRA or 401K even at a "real" job. You can do the same for yourself. You can buy other benefits like disability as well.

                  I have been self employed and am now working part time in a great job - all away from a typical office environment - for the last 17 years. Did it first because of children and now because I just like working a flexible schedule. You can pursue your dreams in a sensible way - you just have to have the discipline to do so. If working as a server means you have to give up all benefits just to make ends meet - probably not a good idea. But, if you can swing it and take care of your long term needs, go for it.

                  Also, you went to college to become educated. That sticks with you regardless of which job you take.

                  Comment


                  • #29
                    When was the last time you were a server? Unless you pick a fine dining restaurant, I wouldn't recommend it.

                    I'm in college now, and I wait tables part time. I'm with a very large company that is hard to get a job with, and is very successful, but even then I have still been struggling to make ends meet. Serving is hard physical and mental work, and it's not good to work in a field where you rely on the kindness of others for your wages. I am also a GOOD server, and my tip % is usually 21-23%. The $4.50/hr I make is not going to support my horse...

                    I almost never have the energy to go ride after a serving shift. People treat you like crap, seriously. It's horrible. My company does offer benefits, but I'm only 23, so I'm not sure what they're like. I'm lucky that I'm still on my parent's health insurance, so I'm not well-versed in all that, yet.

                    Yes, the schedule is wonderful. It works for me. But I can't WAIT to quit serving so that I NEVER have to do it again. I think you should keep looking, and not settle. Maybe get a serving job for now and keep looking for a better opportunity. Best of luck!!!

                    PS - Really, people are already condemning the OP to welfare? Relax. She asked a question.

                    Comment


                    • #30
                      I just "grew up" recently and took on the full time job and swapped the stay at home parent position with my husband (in other words, I work away and he stays at home). One of us has to have a job with insurance. I'm not totally happy, and I haven't ridden since....I don't know, 4 or 5 WEEKS. But sometimes we just have to do what we have to do. If I wanted to ride more, I would. Apperantly I don't. It's too cold anyway.
                      If you want to do something bad enough you will, but you have to do the responsible thing, in my opinion. Having health insurance is pretty important if you have a horse riding hobby.

                      Comment


                      • #31
                        Dear OP:

                        Rearrage your schedule. Work comes before horses. $ needed to support horses. Listen to your Grandpa. He IS right. . . what he means by saying I did not pay for college for you to be a server is: Dear Grand Daughter, you want to get somewhere in life don't you? You want to be able to have that new car, new horse, a house don't you? Well, then get a job in the field your schooled in and be good at the job. Even if it is not what you want to do (you would rather be a server) DO IT.

                        You need retirement. You need health benefits. You need money.

                        Without this how do you enjoy the horses? No money no funny.

                        No retirement... you will be living off us as the taxpayers but have no $ for the horses.

                        Without your health and a way to pay for it when you get sick... again, = no horses.

                        Try working 9-5 ("normal job"), running a stable 24/7, riding 5 times a week, keeping a DH, smaller critters, a home, bills... yeah. that is me.

                        I think you are young though. I think someone else foots the bills for your horses right now. That is why you are not thinking about 'life'.

                        Comment


                        • #32
                          Originally posted by Calamber View Post
                          They have?
                          (Above referring to Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey having done a fair bit of good)

                          Latest goal for Bill, eradicating polio: http://www.gatesfoundation.org/Pages/home.aspx

                          Lately Oprah is into starting charter schools: http://www.oprah.com/angel_network.html

                          Sorry to go back on my word about being off this thread. Really out now.
                          http://www.camstock.net/

                          Comment


                          • #33
                            Without knowing the OP's other commitments (kids, etc.) not saying it is lazy, but a lot of people do ride with full time jobs. A lot of it has to do with trying to reduce the commute among home/barn/work so you don't waste hours in the way.

                            There is no shame in being a server.
                            You need to consider both the short and long term implications of pursuing that vs whatever your degree is in. (In other words, if you stay in your chosen field, what would your life look like in 5, 10 years, etc.)

                            My first FT job paid less hourly than I made as a server at a fine dining place. And the hours were horrible! I got up at 4:30 to ride, clean up, and get to work for 12 hrs. 10 years later though I telecommute, own my own farm, etc. It turns out that life as a brand new IT consultant is pretty awful, but not so bad as an IT manager.

                            If your field has a similar pattern, it might be worth it to pay those dues and get it over with. If it's always going to be a challenge, you might need to reconsider your field.

                            Comment


                            • #34
                              Originally posted by Calamber View Post
                              They have?
                              Gates - via Microsoft - employs almost 90,000 people. I'd say that's pretty significant... certainly significant if you're one of those 90,000.

                              I've never had an ambition to run a company, nor have I have much desire to move up in my career field. However, I can't help but think how neat it must be for those folks to sit back and realize that their vision and hardwork put food on the table for tens of thousands of people.... that is if they ever stop reaching forward long enough to sit down and reflect.
                              "I did know once, only I've sort of forgotten." - Winnie the Pooh

                              Comment


                              • #35
                                Originally posted by Ozone View Post
                                You need retirement. You need health benefits. You need money.
                                I'm quoting this because even if you for some reason don't care about retirement - health care is a MAJOR MAJOR consideration. Currently, thanks to the recent health care reform, it is actually possible for people with pre-existing conditions to get coverage, but it's expensive (less so than pre-reform, but still not peanuts) and some people want it to go away, so I wouldn't be making plans counting on it being available just yet.

                                I know young people tend to discount health insurance because they figure they don't get sick that much, but - what if you're in an accident? (Horse or otherwise.) What if you discover you have a genetic condition that you weren't previously aware of? (My autoimmune condition, psoriatic arthritis, can turn up at ANY age - you have the predisposition for it, something sets it off, and there you go. Pre-existing condition diagnosis that will haunt you the rest of your life, and often require very expensive treatments.)

                                You just can't count on being fit and healthy and assume nothing will go wrong - particularly if you're regularly participating in a dangerous sport like riding. (How many people here on COTH have some kind of significant injury story? Heck, if you come off and you're knocked out but end up being fine, chances are you'll have an ambulance called and an ER visit to check you out, and those are Not Cheap.)

                                I really appreciate the difficulty of balancing these issues, though - I'm about to graduate with a degree in film. I LOVE producing films. I would adore the chance to get into TV production. But as a general rule, it's not an industry where someone new to the game can really count on having a regular job year-round. So I'm having to decide if it's something I really want to throw myself into as a job, and take what comes with it (like probably limited funds for horses and a lot of uncertainty) or if I want to explore other jobs that would be possibly less exciting on a day to day basis, but mean a regular paycheck and benefits, and save my film work for personal and side projects.

                                (For those wondering why I did a degree in film in the first place - these days WHAT your undergrad degree is in seems to matter a lot less than just plain having one, and it's pretty easy to sell my particular degree on the basis of a lot of experience working as part of a group, and other generically applicable skills. So I chose film because I wanted to see if I COULD do it, as a personal challenge, because it was a bit outside my comfort zone of things I KNEW I was good at. From that perspective, it's been incredibly rewarding. So even if I don't end up working in the industry ever, I learned something about myself from the experience.)

                                Comment


                                • #36
                                  Originally posted by Ozone View Post
                                  Dear OP:

                                  Rearrage your schedule. Work comes before horses. $ needed to support horses. Listen to your Grandpa. He IS right. . . what he means by saying I did not pay for college for you to be a server is: Dear Grand Daughter, you want to get somewhere in life don't you? You want to be able to have that new car, new horse, a house don't you? Well, then get a job in the field your schooled in and be good at the job. Even if it is not what you want to do (you would rather be a server) DO IT.

                                  Well...maybe she doesn't. Not EVERYONE wants to be the suburban drone with a husband and a perfect house and a shiney new car ever three years (frankly, if you can't afford things getting into the supercar category, who cares what it is as long as it runs anyway? If it's not at minimum a $90,000 care you're not impressing anyone anyway) or to replace Horsey as soon as he can't show 3'3" or higher any more and two lessons a week with the WBNT and the AAs every other weekend. For some, the 9-5 office grind and coming home wishing you had enough motivation left to slit your wrists in the bath is not worth the good pay (which you only have until they downsize you, relocate, cut your benefits, cut your hours so they don't have to pay benefits.

                                  Try working 9-5 ("normal job"), running a stable 24/7, riding 5 times a week, keeping a DH, smaller critters, a home, bills... yeah. that is me.
                                  Hey, you opted to get married, have smaller critters, work those hours, etc. Just because you think you have to have it all and work at a job you like or don't like to support it doesn't mean other people aren't willing to trade off some of that "necessary" stuff to not work a job that makes them wish they were dead.

                                  As for "OMG MY TAXES WILL PAY FOR YOU IF YOU DON'T WORK YOURSELF TO DEATH", oh please. IF you actually pay taxes (47% of US citizens don't and they're the ones who whine and cry and scream about how the rich don't pay enough) you're already paying for far more freeloaders and useless mouths than an OP who's willing to work, and it's not like ANYONE's going to get social security or medicare by the time she's retirement age, anyway. In any case, she's not saying she's going to go on the dole, she's saying she'd rather work a "lesser" job where she can still support herself and horses with time to ride than spend ten hours a day in an office because she's "supposed" to and to get benefits most jobs don't offer now anyways. And that's assuming she could find that mythical office job as there are probably twenty people with more experience lined up ahead of her who've been looking longer. Frankly, in this market, a decent serving job would be hard to come by.

                                  Heck, unless you live in Massachusetts, buying health coverage outside a job is cheaper anyway and losing a huge chunk of your takehome, so it's still a good option. ESPECIALLY if you're single and not dragging dependants (though, thanks to the so-called affordable health care act, my premiums jumped this year as my insurer is forced to cover me for all the things I opted out of including pediatric care that I will never use. So much for being able to keep your plan...It's still cheaper than losing a chunk of my paycheck to it via a job-based program, and I'll still have it if I move or change jobs.)
                                  Author Page
                                  Like Omens In the Night on Facebook
                                  Steampunk Sweethearts

                                  Comment


                                  • #37
                                    Originally posted by CHT View Post
                                    WHy can't you take the server job now, while continuing to look for a job in your chosen feild? This will allow you to be a little more picky about where you work, and will also give you some time to see if serving was as great as you thought it was.

                                    I know I could never be a server and have a high regard for those that are.
                                    This.
                                    You might also be eligible for unemployment.
                                    You haven't told us how old you are, can you be put on your parents' health insurance?
                                    Do you live with them?
                                    I wasn't always a Smurf
                                    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
                                    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
                                    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.

                                    Comment


                                    • #38
                                      I don't know what the OP's preferred field is, but there are actually quite a few career paths that include, deliberately, working less than full time. Many positions in health care (nursing, PT, etc) are less than 1.0 FTE, many school systems have positions that are less than full time, and universities, too. I haven't worked a full 40 hours at a single job in years, though among my various jobs I usually work more than that, and I have a masters degree. So to the OP - if, after a lot of hard thought, you decide that a flexible schedule is really important to you long term, consider some fields that have that option.

                                      I will throw out one thought (and then run for cover!) -- if the OP had posted saying that she was considering going back to waitressing because she needed the flexible schedule to be home for her kids after school, she would have had people rallying around her to put her family first. But because she wants to ride, she got a very different set of comments. I might have expected that from a non-horse forum but I was surprised to hear it here.

                                      Comment


                                      • #39
                                        Well...maybe she doesn't. Not EVERYONE wants to be the suburban drone with a husband and a perfect house and a shiney new car ever three years (frankly, if you can't afford things getting into the supercar category, who cares what it is as long as it runs anyway? If it's not at minimum a $90,000 care you're not impressing anyone anyway) or to replace Horsey as soon as he can't show 3'3" or higher any more and two lessons a week with the WBNT and the AAs every other weekend. For some, the 9-5 office grind and coming home wishing you had enough motivation left to slit your wrists in the bath is not worth the good pay (which you only have until they downsize you, relocate, cut your benefits, cut your hours so they don't have to pay benefits.
                                        I think there is a difference between all this nonsense and having the ability to continually support yourself over the long run, which server jobs don’t necessarily actually DO – a lot of restaurants fold, and it’s certainly no resume item.

                                        I can say this because I WAS a server, on my feet all the time, dealing with idiots and drunks in a Washington, DC bar. It can pay pretty well – Mr. Trixie paid for college and his dad’s nursing home bartending – but it’s a pretty trying job and there is really no guarantee of income. Further, it doesn’t help you later on when you realize that you’re tired of catering to idiots.

                                        I don’t think that the universe supports those who dream or any such nonsense. I think the last few years have explicitly shown us that.

                                        But hey, if you can find a server job that truly pays your bills – your rent, health insurance, pony’s board, and allows you enough to sock away some savings and retirement, by all means, go for it. But if it’s going to be a paycheck to paycheck thing, I think that’s problematic if it’s avoidable for you.
                                        ---
                                        They're small hearts.

                                        Comment


                                        • #40
                                          I will throw out one thought (and then run for cover!) -- if the OP had posted saying that she was considering going back to waitressing because she needed the flexible schedule to be home for her kids after school, she would have had people rallying around her to put her family first. But because she wants to ride, she got a very different set of comments. I might have expected that from a non-horse forum but I was surprised to hear it here.
                                          I would be saying the same thing - how exactly do you expect to pay for things over the long haul?

                                          Furthermore, horses are a luxury item. I realize a lot of us don't think that way, but they are.
                                          ---
                                          They're small hearts.

                                          Comment

                                          Working...
                                          X